Really? This many years years after, Larry Miller, the TOTAL asshole who sold the, Golden Eagles hockey team down the road because he HATED HOCKEY, but didn't understand, filling up his arena, we still have hockey hate in SLC?
Tonight, the Stanley Cup Playoffs started. Boston AT Vancouver. Reported in the Tribune on Page D2. Boston at Vancouver, 8 p.m., Ch.5
Oh, BULLSHIT! The game started at six o'clock LOCAL TIME YOU DUMBASS! You bastards cost me TWO HOURS OF HOCKEY! And what will you do about it? Not a fucking thing! You think no one cares, so YOU don't!
Fuck you, Tribune! You report all the NBA stuff. Like any one who doesn't live in Boston, Las Angeles, Cleveland or Miami gives a shit! Dallas is in the finals. How many people in Dallas care? Well, NONE! The NBA is irrelevant to most of the country.
But hockey? You hate it so, it's irrelevant to you.
I know you won't cover any sport team in the Salt Lake Valley, NOT owned by the Miller Family, so the Grizzlies get no coverage, but the BEES get LOTS!
Even at that, could you at least, make the minimal effort, it takes to report the CORRECT time for games, even on sports you hate? Because you sucked ass today.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Tips/Tithing/Offering. What Are You Getting For It, And Who Is Better Off Because Of It?
Years ago, I read a book, "Hey, Waitress! The USA from the Other Side of the Tray" by, Alison Owings. She didn't interview waiters, just waitresses, because they were more plentiful, across the country.
I'm lucky enough to have a first edition, dated 2002.
And she was making the point that even though you might have money, you might have fame, you still need to eat a meal once in a while in a place where the person who is serving you that meal has not only, neither, but no hope of ever having it. And it wouldn't kill you to make the minimal effort to tip at least 15%.
If I screwed that up, and totally missed the point of Ms. Owings book, I apologize to her. But as a guy with a Sociology Degree, a Psychology Minor and 20 years in Law Enforcement, that's what I took from it. And I never stiffed a waitress again. No matter how bad the service or the food was.
First of all, the waitress didn't prepare the food (maybe with the exception of your lettuce dinner salad) and she didn't take too long to cook it, or undercooked, or overcook it. She just brought it. She's at the mercy of the guys cooking it, who get paid if you like it or not.
Beating up on the waitress because you got served a bad meal is a lot like shooting the mailman for telling you you have bills to pay. Makes no damn sense.
They just deliver what you came in for. Sometimes it's good. Sometimes it sucks, and sometimes it's just sick and wrong. But they didn't make it, or make you come in for it. They are just the, "Genie" who deliver what you wished for. Sometimes it isn't what you WANTED, but it IS what you ordered.
The American Heritage Dictionary Of The English Language defines, Genie as, "A supernatural creature who does ones bidding".
And this brings me to my next point, this week after we didn't see the world end because some religious nut said it would.
What are you getting for you devotion to your religion? Your tithing, your weekly offering? What is it giving back to you?
I'm hearing a lot of, "talking heads" on the news tell stories of people who quit their jobs, and lost their insurance and all kinds of things, because they believed this bullshit. But no evidence. They don't site EXACT stories, or times, or people, or news stories from OTHER stations. They just SAY it but they can't back it up. Even Channel 2 was doing it! Come on, Shaunna, give me a source! Please! I WANT to believe you, but you're letting me down!
It's like, "Faux News" when they don't agree with something that is happening, and they HAVE to report on it, they will just say, "Some people say..." and quote the exact opposite view of the reality, and NOT bother to say who those, "some people" are. It's not true, but it has what, Stephen Colbert calls, "Truthyness"! It installs that doubt in the mind of the unthinking, the uneducated, the unread, who think, "Faux News" is actually reporting, NEWS!
Are you resting assured that you will get a free pass into heaven? Are you sure that if you swear when you burn you fingers on a Dutch Oven, God won't let you spend a few thousand years in Purgatory for that? I hope so. I hope you're getting your money's worth.
Is your offering plate donation every Sunday buying you your way into heaven? Even if you have an affair? Or are dishonest in business? Or run a pyramid scheme like any number of them in Utah? Brand new Skin, same old scheme? I'm just asking...
And how much do you give? 10%? My Mormon friends tell me that's their freight into the afterlife. 10% of your income is your tariff to heaven.
When I was a Presbyterian, they, SUGGESTED 10% based on the Bible. Hell, when I was first married, if I spent 10% of my income to STAY a Presbyterian? My wife SHOULD have left me. That would have been silly.
We were broke, and living in an apartment.
I guess I have to ask, if you just show up and worship, Jesus, wouldn't he be satisfied? If he was a real GOD, and all? He wouldn't NEED your money as a gift. And it shouldn't hold ANY weight on whether or not you got into heaven. Yeah, yeah, I know, they need to pay for power, water and the mortgage. But still, if GOD wanted you there...
So, again, I'm just asking, if you give money to a church, what do you get for it?
If you get piece/peace of mind. If it makes you feel good. If you really, truly feel that you are worshiping your Lord and Savior? Good for YOU! If it makes you feel well, then GREAT! You ARE getting our money's worth, and I applaud you for the good things your church does.
But, and I have to ask, how much of your charitable money is skimmed off to run the CHURCH, that could have gone directly to help the poor?
And why doesn't our GOVERNMENT help the poor? Because we wouldn't NEED churches?
After all, we have a Government to do the things as a group, that we can't do individually! I'm just sayin...
Look, I'm not religious. I think it's bullshit.
But if you ARE? Why are you against GOVERNMENT doing the things you HOPE religion will do? For, "The least of Us". I don't get it. YOU should be charitable, but GOVERNMENT should save your tax money? WTF?
Hypocrisy: The feigning of beliefs, feelings, or virtues that one does not hole or possess.
I'm lucky enough to have a first edition, dated 2002.
And she was making the point that even though you might have money, you might have fame, you still need to eat a meal once in a while in a place where the person who is serving you that meal has not only, neither, but no hope of ever having it. And it wouldn't kill you to make the minimal effort to tip at least 15%.
If I screwed that up, and totally missed the point of Ms. Owings book, I apologize to her. But as a guy with a Sociology Degree, a Psychology Minor and 20 years in Law Enforcement, that's what I took from it. And I never stiffed a waitress again. No matter how bad the service or the food was.
First of all, the waitress didn't prepare the food (maybe with the exception of your lettuce dinner salad) and she didn't take too long to cook it, or undercooked, or overcook it. She just brought it. She's at the mercy of the guys cooking it, who get paid if you like it or not.
Beating up on the waitress because you got served a bad meal is a lot like shooting the mailman for telling you you have bills to pay. Makes no damn sense.
They just deliver what you came in for. Sometimes it's good. Sometimes it sucks, and sometimes it's just sick and wrong. But they didn't make it, or make you come in for it. They are just the, "Genie" who deliver what you wished for. Sometimes it isn't what you WANTED, but it IS what you ordered.
The American Heritage Dictionary Of The English Language defines, Genie as, "A supernatural creature who does ones bidding".
And this brings me to my next point, this week after we didn't see the world end because some religious nut said it would.
What are you getting for you devotion to your religion? Your tithing, your weekly offering? What is it giving back to you?
I'm hearing a lot of, "talking heads" on the news tell stories of people who quit their jobs, and lost their insurance and all kinds of things, because they believed this bullshit. But no evidence. They don't site EXACT stories, or times, or people, or news stories from OTHER stations. They just SAY it but they can't back it up. Even Channel 2 was doing it! Come on, Shaunna, give me a source! Please! I WANT to believe you, but you're letting me down!
It's like, "Faux News" when they don't agree with something that is happening, and they HAVE to report on it, they will just say, "Some people say..." and quote the exact opposite view of the reality, and NOT bother to say who those, "some people" are. It's not true, but it has what, Stephen Colbert calls, "Truthyness"! It installs that doubt in the mind of the unthinking, the uneducated, the unread, who think, "Faux News" is actually reporting, NEWS!
Are you resting assured that you will get a free pass into heaven? Are you sure that if you swear when you burn you fingers on a Dutch Oven, God won't let you spend a few thousand years in Purgatory for that? I hope so. I hope you're getting your money's worth.
Is your offering plate donation every Sunday buying you your way into heaven? Even if you have an affair? Or are dishonest in business? Or run a pyramid scheme like any number of them in Utah? Brand new Skin, same old scheme? I'm just asking...
And how much do you give? 10%? My Mormon friends tell me that's their freight into the afterlife. 10% of your income is your tariff to heaven.
When I was a Presbyterian, they, SUGGESTED 10% based on the Bible. Hell, when I was first married, if I spent 10% of my income to STAY a Presbyterian? My wife SHOULD have left me. That would have been silly.
We were broke, and living in an apartment.
I guess I have to ask, if you just show up and worship, Jesus, wouldn't he be satisfied? If he was a real GOD, and all? He wouldn't NEED your money as a gift. And it shouldn't hold ANY weight on whether or not you got into heaven. Yeah, yeah, I know, they need to pay for power, water and the mortgage. But still, if GOD wanted you there...
So, again, I'm just asking, if you give money to a church, what do you get for it?
If you get piece/peace of mind. If it makes you feel good. If you really, truly feel that you are worshiping your Lord and Savior? Good for YOU! If it makes you feel well, then GREAT! You ARE getting our money's worth, and I applaud you for the good things your church does.
But, and I have to ask, how much of your charitable money is skimmed off to run the CHURCH, that could have gone directly to help the poor?
And why doesn't our GOVERNMENT help the poor? Because we wouldn't NEED churches?
After all, we have a Government to do the things as a group, that we can't do individually! I'm just sayin...
Look, I'm not religious. I think it's bullshit.
But if you ARE? Why are you against GOVERNMENT doing the things you HOPE religion will do? For, "The least of Us". I don't get it. YOU should be charitable, but GOVERNMENT should save your tax money? WTF?
Hypocrisy: The feigning of beliefs, feelings, or virtues that one does not hole or possess.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Climate Change? I'm Living It!
It is the 19th of May in Salt Lake City. It's been raining for days, and it didn't get above 50 degrees today. I came home from the hospital, my mom had a hip replacement today, and built a fire in the living room because it was so cold!
I don't even have a fire place, just set the living room on fire to get warm!
Kidding.
The last two years have been way too cold. A few years ago, I bought a misting fan. It shoots water at you while it fans the patio in the summer. We used it until we killed it. Two years ago, I bought a new one. I don't think I've used it ten times.
Everything is a month behind the way it used to be, and we've only been in this house for ten years. Well, ten years on August first. The trees bud out a month later, the water peaks in the river a month later, we turn the sprinklers on a month later, and off a month later in the fall. Didn't start mowing until April this year, that's always been in March.
Used to run the gas out of the mower by the first of October so we could put Halloween decorations on the front lawn. Haven't been able to do that for the last few years.
That reminds me, I have to run the gas out of the snow blower this weekend. Or maybe not. I might need it if we go to Evanston, Wyoming Memorial Day weekend to decorate graves, just to find them! Put it in the back of the truck, and take it with us. Might save a lot of work.
I've almost used all the, "small wood" in the garage. The wood stove out there isn't very big, so when I buy a truck load for out there, I ask them to load the smallest logs. And I'm glad I bought a second load of regular logs for the inside fire place. I almost didn't, but it's almost gone as well. Too bad I didn't buy another box of, "cheater logs" (the wax/sawdust units I start the fires inside with) at Costco a month or two ago. If it's still cold tomorrow night, I might have to get all, "Daniel Boone" and build a fire like I used to when we didn't have any money. I would have to split some kindling.
Note to self: Do that BEFORE, Phil and EJ get here and we start drinking. A four pound trimming axe is not to be triffled with while liquored up.
This weather is awful! I came home from Mexico for THIS! Oh, yeah, I was burned out on the tropics, and the shell fish made me sick. I forgot.
But anyway, it's just not, "Spring Time In The Rockies" this year. Yeah, we have snow in the mountains, and you can still ski half a day in the morning and play golf in the afternoon, but you have to wear rain gear this year!
Monday, Danny and the boys had a soccer game out in South Jordan by the equestrian park, and it wasn't raining, so I wore shorts. Truth be known, I wear shorts most of the year, because my legs just don't get cold. But this time, it was a bad choice.
The, "Prevailing West Valleys" whipped around and right through my shirt and sweatshirt combo and I about froze. The Tilley hat did not help. It keeps the sun out of your eyes, but being designed for the tropics, it's not very warm.
The Murray Max put a 5-nil whipping on the kids from South Jordan that night, which lessened the pain of the cold (by the way, South Jordan folks? If your, overweight, slow, pasty, white kids are going to try to stay with the boys from Murray, and get embarrassed THAT bad? While still talking, "smack" and throwing elbows? Lose the horizontal stripe jerseys. It just exacerbates the white bread intake. Trust me. And I'm a fat guy. So trust me. In high school, they timed my, "40's" with a calendar, and I was faster than your boys) but this is just NOT the way May is supposed to be in Utah!
When I was in high school, I'd break out the, "Beach Boy's" tapes in May! The, Three Fountains Pool was open on Memorial Day Weekend. This year, if it's open, you will ice skate on it!
I'm not so much worried about, "The Rapture" coming on Saturday night per, "Rev. Camping". I am worried enough about the flooding that there might be a guy in an arc sailing by, and he won't have enough room for the Camaro!
This has been crazy, and cold. My son's soccer game tonight was cancelled because the field at Highland High was, "saturated". Really? You don't want to ruin it? I remember playing games for Murray High in the 70's when there was snow on the field. No one, back then, worried about what a game would do to the grass six weeks down the line.
I guess I should go upstairs and see how the fire is doing. And, "bank" a fire for tomorrow in case it's as cold as today.
If you don't know what, "banking" a fire is? You have never owned a house old enough, with a shitty enough heating system, to worry about that sort of thing.
I don't even have a fire place, just set the living room on fire to get warm!
Kidding.
The last two years have been way too cold. A few years ago, I bought a misting fan. It shoots water at you while it fans the patio in the summer. We used it until we killed it. Two years ago, I bought a new one. I don't think I've used it ten times.
Everything is a month behind the way it used to be, and we've only been in this house for ten years. Well, ten years on August first. The trees bud out a month later, the water peaks in the river a month later, we turn the sprinklers on a month later, and off a month later in the fall. Didn't start mowing until April this year, that's always been in March.
Used to run the gas out of the mower by the first of October so we could put Halloween decorations on the front lawn. Haven't been able to do that for the last few years.
That reminds me, I have to run the gas out of the snow blower this weekend. Or maybe not. I might need it if we go to Evanston, Wyoming Memorial Day weekend to decorate graves, just to find them! Put it in the back of the truck, and take it with us. Might save a lot of work.
I've almost used all the, "small wood" in the garage. The wood stove out there isn't very big, so when I buy a truck load for out there, I ask them to load the smallest logs. And I'm glad I bought a second load of regular logs for the inside fire place. I almost didn't, but it's almost gone as well. Too bad I didn't buy another box of, "cheater logs" (the wax/sawdust units I start the fires inside with) at Costco a month or two ago. If it's still cold tomorrow night, I might have to get all, "Daniel Boone" and build a fire like I used to when we didn't have any money. I would have to split some kindling.
Note to self: Do that BEFORE, Phil and EJ get here and we start drinking. A four pound trimming axe is not to be triffled with while liquored up.
This weather is awful! I came home from Mexico for THIS! Oh, yeah, I was burned out on the tropics, and the shell fish made me sick. I forgot.
But anyway, it's just not, "Spring Time In The Rockies" this year. Yeah, we have snow in the mountains, and you can still ski half a day in the morning and play golf in the afternoon, but you have to wear rain gear this year!
Monday, Danny and the boys had a soccer game out in South Jordan by the equestrian park, and it wasn't raining, so I wore shorts. Truth be known, I wear shorts most of the year, because my legs just don't get cold. But this time, it was a bad choice.
The, "Prevailing West Valleys" whipped around and right through my shirt and sweatshirt combo and I about froze. The Tilley hat did not help. It keeps the sun out of your eyes, but being designed for the tropics, it's not very warm.
The Murray Max put a 5-nil whipping on the kids from South Jordan that night, which lessened the pain of the cold (by the way, South Jordan folks? If your, overweight, slow, pasty, white kids are going to try to stay with the boys from Murray, and get embarrassed THAT bad? While still talking, "smack" and throwing elbows? Lose the horizontal stripe jerseys. It just exacerbates the white bread intake. Trust me. And I'm a fat guy. So trust me. In high school, they timed my, "40's" with a calendar, and I was faster than your boys) but this is just NOT the way May is supposed to be in Utah!
When I was in high school, I'd break out the, "Beach Boy's" tapes in May! The, Three Fountains Pool was open on Memorial Day Weekend. This year, if it's open, you will ice skate on it!
I'm not so much worried about, "The Rapture" coming on Saturday night per, "Rev. Camping". I am worried enough about the flooding that there might be a guy in an arc sailing by, and he won't have enough room for the Camaro!
This has been crazy, and cold. My son's soccer game tonight was cancelled because the field at Highland High was, "saturated". Really? You don't want to ruin it? I remember playing games for Murray High in the 70's when there was snow on the field. No one, back then, worried about what a game would do to the grass six weeks down the line.
I guess I should go upstairs and see how the fire is doing. And, "bank" a fire for tomorrow in case it's as cold as today.
If you don't know what, "banking" a fire is? You have never owned a house old enough, with a shitty enough heating system, to worry about that sort of thing.
Friday, May 13, 2011
Repatriation, And The Worst Fish Sandwich I Ever Ate
Woke up early on Thursday. We had to get to Cancun and fly out by about noon. Had to take the 7:30 Ferry, already paid for the cab to be there. Can't miss the flight.
Only one problem. While I'm looking at the paperwork. We booked the condo from the 5th to the 12th, so we had to be out on Thursday morning. The travel agent for the credit card company had booked our flight home, on the 13th. Now, having done this in February, and having done it over the phone, I remember changing the dates a few times.
I'm not blaming the credit cards TA, I'm thinking it's probably, "Pilot Error" on my part. After all, I have to call them between eight and five CST, and can't have MY travel agent do this, so mistakes can be made. I didn't do this late at night, and drunk, while on the Internet. it's just a screw up. It can be fixed. The bottom line? We got no place to stay, and no flight home. Shit.
Well, one problem at a time. I was a COP in my former life, I had to learn to adapt to different situations, and I can do this now. Objective one, get to the Cancun airport and go from there.
Deb is panicked. I have to keep telling her, "We'll take care of this. Calm down, don't MELT down, OK?" We pre-paid the taxi, so when we get off the Ferry, there is a guy there with a sign with my name on it. Problem one solved.
Once at the airport, we go to Aeromexico, and they tell us that it's no problem, just talk to their ticket people, and it can happen.
Ticket booth is empty. Big, "CLOSED' sign on it.
So I call the credit card TA people. No problem. I'll have to pay the change fee's (which for the life of me, I can't figure out how it cost's over $200 a ticket, to reissue the ticket for a different flight, when it's all done by computer) but I want to go home, so I just tell them to do it.
They don't tell Delta for an hour.
So I call them back, and they say they haven't done it yet, but I could just go ahead and pay Delta if I'd like and they won't put the charge they asked me to pay on my card. Yeah, I'll do that.
We get boarding passes. Thank God. And it only cost me about $400. I've had so much of the tropics this week, that I'm glad to pay it.
By now, it's 10:30 in the morning, Cancun time. We both had a granola bar bought at the airport, and that's all either of us have eaten since the shitty fish meal I had the night before.
Stuffed fillet of fish does not mean overcooking a fish fillet on a grill, and then covering it with a bunch of chopped up pieces of octopus and shell fish (which by the way, have given me gout to this day. I should have known better) in an awful cream sauce.
I used to LOVE Isla Mujeres because it was so different. Now, it's like Tijuana with an awesome beach. It's a shame.
This leads me to our next dilemma. We clear security, barely. I forgot and kept my sunglasses in my pocket instead of my carry on, and got sent back and, "wanded" about four times. The case must have been metal. I'm a terrorist for sure. Take one look at me.
We need to eat. It's going to be a two hour flight to Atlanta, with no food. And as we come out of the duty free shop, there is, "Jimmy Buffett's Air Margaritaville Cafe". Great. I know the food is going to be good. Best onion rings in New Orleans were at his place there. Great food in Las Vegas. Too late for breakfast at 10:30? No problem, we'll have lunch.
Deb orders a chicken wrap, I order a fish sandwich, and we both get ice tea to drink. Had I had any idea how bad the sandwich was going to be, I'd have had the tequila, and plenty of it.
I get this, "THING" that appears to be a bun, but it's so dark, and nasty it makes Russian Rye look like it's trying to, "pass" as, "white". And it has oats pressed into the top of it. I think that was to make me think it was healthy.
But it was so dry, I think it had been in Mexico longer than I had that week.
Inside this abortion was a fish, "filet" that had been breaded in shotgun load (I'm thinking about #8 shot) cooked to death, and then folded over to go inside the horrible bun (unfolded, the sucker had to be ten inches long. So trying to bite through it was twice as awful). It was covered in a dry tomato, some purple onion and served with tarter sauce ON THE SIDE!
Really? You don't put the tarter sauce ON the sandwich? WTF? NO fish sandwich, in the whole world, should be served with tarter sauce ON THE SIDE! It's a FISH SANDWICH! PUT THE TARTER SAUCE ON THE SANDWICH!
This sandwich was SO bad, just nasty. It was the consistency of the rubber stuff they used to put on ping pong paddles. You COULD chew through it, but why bother?
I used the plastic utensils to carve out some of the inside of the fish, and ate the crappy french fries. Not because I wanted to, but because I didn't know when I would get to eat again.
I've spent about, "a million six" on Jimmy Buffett's stuff over the years. Concerts, shirts, records, CD's. After yesterdays experience? That Fucker owes me breakfast!
When I got back to Atlanta, after two days of shitty food, I UPGRADED to McDonalds! I ate a Big Mac, and I don't feel bad about it. It got me back to Salt Lake City alive.
The iPad was not a total disappointment on the trip. I learned a lot. But I wish I had been able to do, "Chat" on Face Book, which I couldn't do. And I wanted to share pictures, and it wouldn't do that.
I'll go to the place I bought it tomorrow afternoon and see if they can tell me what I did wrong.
But, it did do some good stuff for me. I could listen to, "Radio Margaritaville" on line every night while sitting on the patio on the beach. And I could blog. Even though it wouldn't let me attach pictures. So it was not a total loss.
And coming home, there was, "wifi" on the plane. And I could connect with the ipad. And when I logged in, they said, "This one's on us" so I didn't have to pay for it! I thought they would probably bill me after a "free" hour or so, but no. I got the whole trip for nothing.
The down side of that? As I was listening to satellite radio, I had to hold the ipad up in the air, above the seats to keep the connection. So I spent four hours, looking like the, Statue Of Liberty, with my arm in the air. If I tried to put it in my lap? I got nothing.
As much as I love to travel? I'm SO glad to be home. It's been a long week.
Only one problem. While I'm looking at the paperwork. We booked the condo from the 5th to the 12th, so we had to be out on Thursday morning. The travel agent for the credit card company had booked our flight home, on the 13th. Now, having done this in February, and having done it over the phone, I remember changing the dates a few times.
I'm not blaming the credit cards TA, I'm thinking it's probably, "Pilot Error" on my part. After all, I have to call them between eight and five CST, and can't have MY travel agent do this, so mistakes can be made. I didn't do this late at night, and drunk, while on the Internet. it's just a screw up. It can be fixed. The bottom line? We got no place to stay, and no flight home. Shit.
Well, one problem at a time. I was a COP in my former life, I had to learn to adapt to different situations, and I can do this now. Objective one, get to the Cancun airport and go from there.
Deb is panicked. I have to keep telling her, "We'll take care of this. Calm down, don't MELT down, OK?" We pre-paid the taxi, so when we get off the Ferry, there is a guy there with a sign with my name on it. Problem one solved.
Once at the airport, we go to Aeromexico, and they tell us that it's no problem, just talk to their ticket people, and it can happen.
Ticket booth is empty. Big, "CLOSED' sign on it.
So I call the credit card TA people. No problem. I'll have to pay the change fee's (which for the life of me, I can't figure out how it cost's over $200 a ticket, to reissue the ticket for a different flight, when it's all done by computer) but I want to go home, so I just tell them to do it.
They don't tell Delta for an hour.
So I call them back, and they say they haven't done it yet, but I could just go ahead and pay Delta if I'd like and they won't put the charge they asked me to pay on my card. Yeah, I'll do that.
We get boarding passes. Thank God. And it only cost me about $400. I've had so much of the tropics this week, that I'm glad to pay it.
By now, it's 10:30 in the morning, Cancun time. We both had a granola bar bought at the airport, and that's all either of us have eaten since the shitty fish meal I had the night before.
Stuffed fillet of fish does not mean overcooking a fish fillet on a grill, and then covering it with a bunch of chopped up pieces of octopus and shell fish (which by the way, have given me gout to this day. I should have known better) in an awful cream sauce.
I used to LOVE Isla Mujeres because it was so different. Now, it's like Tijuana with an awesome beach. It's a shame.
This leads me to our next dilemma. We clear security, barely. I forgot and kept my sunglasses in my pocket instead of my carry on, and got sent back and, "wanded" about four times. The case must have been metal. I'm a terrorist for sure. Take one look at me.
We need to eat. It's going to be a two hour flight to Atlanta, with no food. And as we come out of the duty free shop, there is, "Jimmy Buffett's Air Margaritaville Cafe". Great. I know the food is going to be good. Best onion rings in New Orleans were at his place there. Great food in Las Vegas. Too late for breakfast at 10:30? No problem, we'll have lunch.
Deb orders a chicken wrap, I order a fish sandwich, and we both get ice tea to drink. Had I had any idea how bad the sandwich was going to be, I'd have had the tequila, and plenty of it.
I get this, "THING" that appears to be a bun, but it's so dark, and nasty it makes Russian Rye look like it's trying to, "pass" as, "white". And it has oats pressed into the top of it. I think that was to make me think it was healthy.
But it was so dry, I think it had been in Mexico longer than I had that week.
Inside this abortion was a fish, "filet" that had been breaded in shotgun load (I'm thinking about #8 shot) cooked to death, and then folded over to go inside the horrible bun (unfolded, the sucker had to be ten inches long. So trying to bite through it was twice as awful). It was covered in a dry tomato, some purple onion and served with tarter sauce ON THE SIDE!
Really? You don't put the tarter sauce ON the sandwich? WTF? NO fish sandwich, in the whole world, should be served with tarter sauce ON THE SIDE! It's a FISH SANDWICH! PUT THE TARTER SAUCE ON THE SANDWICH!
This sandwich was SO bad, just nasty. It was the consistency of the rubber stuff they used to put on ping pong paddles. You COULD chew through it, but why bother?
I used the plastic utensils to carve out some of the inside of the fish, and ate the crappy french fries. Not because I wanted to, but because I didn't know when I would get to eat again.
I've spent about, "a million six" on Jimmy Buffett's stuff over the years. Concerts, shirts, records, CD's. After yesterdays experience? That Fucker owes me breakfast!
When I got back to Atlanta, after two days of shitty food, I UPGRADED to McDonalds! I ate a Big Mac, and I don't feel bad about it. It got me back to Salt Lake City alive.
The iPad was not a total disappointment on the trip. I learned a lot. But I wish I had been able to do, "Chat" on Face Book, which I couldn't do. And I wanted to share pictures, and it wouldn't do that.
I'll go to the place I bought it tomorrow afternoon and see if they can tell me what I did wrong.
But, it did do some good stuff for me. I could listen to, "Radio Margaritaville" on line every night while sitting on the patio on the beach. And I could blog. Even though it wouldn't let me attach pictures. So it was not a total loss.
And coming home, there was, "wifi" on the plane. And I could connect with the ipad. And when I logged in, they said, "This one's on us" so I didn't have to pay for it! I thought they would probably bill me after a "free" hour or so, but no. I got the whole trip for nothing.
The down side of that? As I was listening to satellite radio, I had to hold the ipad up in the air, above the seats to keep the connection. So I spent four hours, looking like the, Statue Of Liberty, with my arm in the air. If I tried to put it in my lap? I got nothing.
As much as I love to travel? I'm SO glad to be home. It's been a long week.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Last Day As A Frist World Refugee
I get to go home tomorrow. And thats saying something. Usually, I'd be saying I have to go home tomorrow, and thinking of missing the islands. But not this time.
Isla hasn't changed much, if anything for the better. Lots more places take your credit card. Most of the buildings that were ruined during the hurricane a few years ago are up and running again. Lots of new restauraunts, not all of them good, unfortunately. They are doing a lot of road work, and good cigars are easy to find. The first time Deb and I came here with Diane and Joe in 1999, there was only one real cigar shop on the island. Lots of places sold cigars, but they were mostly crap.
The folks are still friendly, but I've changed. And so has Deb, and it makes this kind of a vacation much tougher.
The first three days were awesome. All three concert/dinner venues were within a five minute walk of the room. Too much fun, too much drinking, great music, meeting wonderful people. It was great. But come Monday, things started to change. Most folks who came for music fest went home, and the condo complex was pretty empty.
Since 2008, I've had a back surgery, an abdominal hernia repair and a knee surgery. I'm lucky to be walking. So those long strolls along the beach in the thick, sugar sand aren't so much funny any more. They are WORK! As is a walk from one end of the town to the other.
And Deb's eyes continue worsen. So the cobblestone streets of the Caribbean are not the best place to turn her loose. I have to take her everywhere. If you spend all day saying shit like, "Watch the curb, ladies is on the left, move right to avoid the pot hole, watch the telephone pole on the right, ..." you get awful tired of it. Then, at every meal, I have to read the whole menu to her. I know what your thinking, yeah, it's a minor annoyance. But it gets old.
Those of you who raised kids, tell me you didn't at some point, get tired of reading the kids menu to them every time you went to a restaurant? And then tell me you wouldn't get tired of reading the entire three page menu of a sea food place every time you sat down to dinner? See what I'm getting at?
I love Isla Mujeres. It's beautiful, and Playa Norta might be the best beach we've ever been on (all appology's to Grenada's Grand Anse). But there are some things that I don't like.
It's not comfortable to walk down the street either night or day if your objective is to just get from point A to point B. I don't mean it's dangerous, but it's annoying as hell! I get tired of being followed by people who won't take, "Gracias, no." for an answer. Shop keepers are a little too aggressive these days, they follow you down the street, "Come see my store. It's a beautiful store. It cost's nothing to look. Buy some jewelry for your lady?" sometimes for a whole block! There have been times when I have had to give up on, "Gracias, no" after about the third time to get the guy out from in front of me so we can get where we're going and say, "I SAID NO!" before they would give up! That is not right. That's why I won't go back to Jamaica.
In San Pedro, Belize, the really nice jewelry store on Front Street won't buzz you in the door until they size you up and decide you're not a bandit. The place where Deb had some stuff custom made was very accessible, but the guy running it wasn't out side, following you down the block trying to get you to come in. He was making jewelry! Imagine that. And his wife was watching the kids, and cooking lunch. They live in the shop.
Here, the restaurant owners are standing outside, trying to beckon you in. In San Pedro, there are some places you have to make reservations the day before. I know that has to do with volume, there are ten times the restaurants here that there are there. But the ones off the beaten path? The ones away from the city center, that are REALLY good? They don't do that.
I have not ever gotten ripped off in Isla, but I do hate making the conversion of dollars to pesos. It's tiring, especially when so many places still don't take credit cards. I always seem to end up with a pocket full of heavy, low value, Mexican coins. You can't buy much with one and two peso coins. You have to have twenty of them to buy an ice cream bar.
In Belize, $1 US=$2 BZ. It's pretty simple. You don't need to go to a combia to change money, and they don't have to use a calculator to figure out what you owe them for a beer and a burger. Makes life a lot easier.
After the last hurricane in 2005, we were here in 2006. There were all kinds of signs, and jars to accept tips, about helping the homeless pets of Isla Mujeres. I put money in some of them. I love animals. It seems to have backfired a bit. You still see some funky looking dogs running around the beach or downtown with a bandana tied around their neck. But they all seem to be with someone. The cats are another problem.
This island could use a, "Curt Oda" solution for it's ferol cat problem. The have made a comeback with a vengeance . Most business owners seem to like having them around, and just like in Greece, you will see open cans of cat food left in the street's at night. Even the restaurant here at Nautibeach feeds them. But they also have a huge sign in the restaurant, "PLEASE DON'T FEED THE CATS!" It goes on to explain that they feed them, and most of them have been rounded up and given their shots, but they probably still have fleas, and they don't want them in the business. Oh, and you pet them at your own risk, some of them are mean.
I don't need THAT bad action on vacation. In San Pedro, everyone in town feeds, care's for, and pets, "Barkley", the island dog. He doesn't seem to belong to anyone, and there are plenty of dogs there that do, but he's not mangy or dirty. He always has a clean bandana round his neck, and he's friendly. Here I don't think I want to have anything to do with these animals.
Kind of like at home. I love watching the birds at my feeder, but I don't want them in the house.
So this has been an interesting week. I'm glad I came back. I had a great time listening to, Mark, Kelly and James sing. With the exception of tonights fish, the food has been great. The staff at, Nautibeach is great. But it's time to come home.
I hate missing my son's soccer games. I hate missing the NHL playoffs. And I think I have enough sand in my clothing and luggage to last for a while. Back to the first world on an early ferry off of Isla, and a plane to Mexico City then home to SLC. And with any luck, I'll be home in time to watch the last half of the Redwings game 7 against the Sharks. Glad to be back in the First world.
Isla hasn't changed much, if anything for the better. Lots more places take your credit card. Most of the buildings that were ruined during the hurricane a few years ago are up and running again. Lots of new restauraunts, not all of them good, unfortunately. They are doing a lot of road work, and good cigars are easy to find. The first time Deb and I came here with Diane and Joe in 1999, there was only one real cigar shop on the island. Lots of places sold cigars, but they were mostly crap.
The folks are still friendly, but I've changed. And so has Deb, and it makes this kind of a vacation much tougher.
The first three days were awesome. All three concert/dinner venues were within a five minute walk of the room. Too much fun, too much drinking, great music, meeting wonderful people. It was great. But come Monday, things started to change. Most folks who came for music fest went home, and the condo complex was pretty empty.
Since 2008, I've had a back surgery, an abdominal hernia repair and a knee surgery. I'm lucky to be walking. So those long strolls along the beach in the thick, sugar sand aren't so much funny any more. They are WORK! As is a walk from one end of the town to the other.
And Deb's eyes continue worsen. So the cobblestone streets of the Caribbean are not the best place to turn her loose. I have to take her everywhere. If you spend all day saying shit like, "Watch the curb, ladies is on the left, move right to avoid the pot hole, watch the telephone pole on the right, ..." you get awful tired of it. Then, at every meal, I have to read the whole menu to her. I know what your thinking, yeah, it's a minor annoyance. But it gets old.
Those of you who raised kids, tell me you didn't at some point, get tired of reading the kids menu to them every time you went to a restaurant? And then tell me you wouldn't get tired of reading the entire three page menu of a sea food place every time you sat down to dinner? See what I'm getting at?
I love Isla Mujeres. It's beautiful, and Playa Norta might be the best beach we've ever been on (all appology's to Grenada's Grand Anse). But there are some things that I don't like.
It's not comfortable to walk down the street either night or day if your objective is to just get from point A to point B. I don't mean it's dangerous, but it's annoying as hell! I get tired of being followed by people who won't take, "Gracias, no." for an answer. Shop keepers are a little too aggressive these days, they follow you down the street, "Come see my store. It's a beautiful store. It cost's nothing to look. Buy some jewelry for your lady?" sometimes for a whole block! There have been times when I have had to give up on, "Gracias, no" after about the third time to get the guy out from in front of me so we can get where we're going and say, "I SAID NO!" before they would give up! That is not right. That's why I won't go back to Jamaica.
In San Pedro, Belize, the really nice jewelry store on Front Street won't buzz you in the door until they size you up and decide you're not a bandit. The place where Deb had some stuff custom made was very accessible, but the guy running it wasn't out side, following you down the block trying to get you to come in. He was making jewelry! Imagine that. And his wife was watching the kids, and cooking lunch. They live in the shop.
Here, the restaurant owners are standing outside, trying to beckon you in. In San Pedro, there are some places you have to make reservations the day before. I know that has to do with volume, there are ten times the restaurants here that there are there. But the ones off the beaten path? The ones away from the city center, that are REALLY good? They don't do that.
I have not ever gotten ripped off in Isla, but I do hate making the conversion of dollars to pesos. It's tiring, especially when so many places still don't take credit cards. I always seem to end up with a pocket full of heavy, low value, Mexican coins. You can't buy much with one and two peso coins. You have to have twenty of them to buy an ice cream bar.
In Belize, $1 US=$2 BZ. It's pretty simple. You don't need to go to a combia to change money, and they don't have to use a calculator to figure out what you owe them for a beer and a burger. Makes life a lot easier.
After the last hurricane in 2005, we were here in 2006. There were all kinds of signs, and jars to accept tips, about helping the homeless pets of Isla Mujeres. I put money in some of them. I love animals. It seems to have backfired a bit. You still see some funky looking dogs running around the beach or downtown with a bandana tied around their neck. But they all seem to be with someone. The cats are another problem.
This island could use a, "Curt Oda" solution for it's ferol cat problem. The have made a comeback with a vengeance . Most business owners seem to like having them around, and just like in Greece, you will see open cans of cat food left in the street's at night. Even the restaurant here at Nautibeach feeds them. But they also have a huge sign in the restaurant, "PLEASE DON'T FEED THE CATS!" It goes on to explain that they feed them, and most of them have been rounded up and given their shots, but they probably still have fleas, and they don't want them in the business. Oh, and you pet them at your own risk, some of them are mean.
I don't need THAT bad action on vacation. In San Pedro, everyone in town feeds, care's for, and pets, "Barkley", the island dog. He doesn't seem to belong to anyone, and there are plenty of dogs there that do, but he's not mangy or dirty. He always has a clean bandana round his neck, and he's friendly. Here I don't think I want to have anything to do with these animals.
Kind of like at home. I love watching the birds at my feeder, but I don't want them in the house.
So this has been an interesting week. I'm glad I came back. I had a great time listening to, Mark, Kelly and James sing. With the exception of tonights fish, the food has been great. The staff at, Nautibeach is great. But it's time to come home.
I hate missing my son's soccer games. I hate missing the NHL playoffs. And I think I have enough sand in my clothing and luggage to last for a while. Back to the first world on an early ferry off of Isla, and a plane to Mexico City then home to SLC. And with any luck, I'll be home in time to watch the last half of the Redwings game 7 against the Sharks. Glad to be back in the First world.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Never Argue With A Blind Woman
I picked up the iPad the day before we left, so I didn't have much time to get to know it, and i made the mistake of letting my son fool around with it before we left. So by Thursday morning in the Atlanta Airport, I can't find what I need. Can't listen to the radio, can't do email, I'm getting very flustered. I guess I was making my displeasure known when Deb says, "let me see it". Yeah, right. I CAN see and I can't find it, and you want me to hand it over to you so you can spend 45 minutes with it, only to tell me that you can't see anything? I don't think so.
Same thing tonight. We picked a little Cuban restaurant on the street that they block off so cars can't come down it, and it runs the length of the town. After I sit down, I say to, Deb, I guess I better find out if we can use a card here, or if I need to go get some cash." She agrees. Which she rarely does. After all, we've been married for 26 years, so that's just the norm, isn't it.
All I had to do was stand up and turn around, and there were two, "We Prefer Your VISA card" signs. One hanging from the ceiling, the other one stuck to the desk where the cash register is. So, I tell her this and that we can relax.
She says, "You better ask anyway." WHY! Why would I DO that? Is the sign some sort of a plot (It's a Cuban restaurant, so I guess that would make it a COMMUNIST plot! Like fluoride, or making sure poor people get health care) to lure us into his place with promises of easy payment, and then when we finish the lobster, inform us that we will now be forced to bring back our firstborn and have her enslaved making mojito's for the rest of her life?
Thats what I'm THINKING. But what I say is, "The signs are there, I just didn't see them when we came in. It's fine".
The guy comes to take our order, and the first words out of her mouth, I shit you not, "Do you take credit cards?"
WTF!? Am I making stuff up to tell her? Do I secretly hope that I can use going to the cash machine to ditch her in Isla Mujeres, take the next ferry to Cancun and disappear into the night. Never to be heard from again? What is, in the name of all that's holy, in it for me to LIE to her about the Visa Card sign!?
Welcome to my world.
Same thing tonight. We picked a little Cuban restaurant on the street that they block off so cars can't come down it, and it runs the length of the town. After I sit down, I say to, Deb, I guess I better find out if we can use a card here, or if I need to go get some cash." She agrees. Which she rarely does. After all, we've been married for 26 years, so that's just the norm, isn't it.
All I had to do was stand up and turn around, and there were two, "We Prefer Your VISA card" signs. One hanging from the ceiling, the other one stuck to the desk where the cash register is. So, I tell her this and that we can relax.
She says, "You better ask anyway." WHY! Why would I DO that? Is the sign some sort of a plot (It's a Cuban restaurant, so I guess that would make it a COMMUNIST plot! Like fluoride, or making sure poor people get health care) to lure us into his place with promises of easy payment, and then when we finish the lobster, inform us that we will now be forced to bring back our firstborn and have her enslaved making mojito's for the rest of her life?
Thats what I'm THINKING. But what I say is, "The signs are there, I just didn't see them when we came in. It's fine".
The guy comes to take our order, and the first words out of her mouth, I shit you not, "Do you take credit cards?"
WTF!? Am I making stuff up to tell her? Do I secretly hope that I can use going to the cash machine to ditch her in Isla Mujeres, take the next ferry to Cancun and disappear into the night. Never to be heard from again? What is, in the name of all that's holy, in it for me to LIE to her about the Visa Card sign!?
Welcome to my world.
Monday, May 9, 2011
It Doesn't FEEL Like a, Monday
Deb woke me up at the crack of dawn today. 11:30 this morning. What happened to, "Island Time, Mon"?
Her: "You have to get up, I'm hungry. You seem to live on rum and cigars when we're down here and it doesn't bother you!"
Me: "You say that like it's a BAD thing?"
Hey, it's not my fault she won't smoke the cigars or drink the rum. I keep picking up the bar tab, don't I? I'm trying.
Surprisingly enough, that mass quantity of alcohol consumed yesterday doesn't seem to have done much damage. But the sunburn is worse than estimated. I guess you could blame that on the alcohol, at least indirectly. Just a few minutes in the tropical sun, walking around the town, and it's pretty evident that I need my hat, and I am not doing well carrying a bag full of rum, soda, water, cookies and pastry she wanted from the grocery store, and the shirts we bought for the kids. After we get some lunch,we head back to the condo to take in the air conditioning and drink a couple of bottles of water.
The restaurant where we ate called this dish a, "Local Taco". But if you put ham, cream cheese and vegetables in a tightly wrapped, wheat tortilla, it's a wrap. And we've had them in the States for years. In Paris, they call it, Jambon au Fromage. It's a ham sandwich no matter where you are. It was good, but don't get above your raisin' with the name, OK?
Spent the afternoon reading the Tribune on line. Literally, the whole afternoon! The computer connection down here is not good, so the places loaded real slow. But what I got from what I could read was kind of scary.
Don't piss off your plumber, he probably has a gun. The SLCPD has shot it's second or third guy in a car this year. The Utes might start the football season ranked as high as 22. And it's going to be damn near impossible to get a good fish head in West Valley City if you have to rely on Food Stamps. Ouch! Who would want to live in such a place?
I'm glad Im down here in Mexico. Fish heads are NOT a problem on THIS island. No sir. I had baked Red Snapper tonight and it was awesome. Came without the head, though.
After dinner I picked up my third, "Free" Cuban cigar. We shall see how, "FREE" it was when I get the bill for the jewelry Deb bought from the guy who gave it to me, while I smoked it outside his shop.
Over the years, I've gotten pretty good at figuring out the fake Habano's, but the sellers have gotten better at ripping you off, too. First time we were here, I left two brothers in a raging fight about who was responsible for bringing in the fake Cubans to their shop after I pointed out to them, that if they were going to sell me, "Cohiba's" the labels should at least be yellow and black. Not ORANGE and black. Even a rookie could see that mistake. Murray High is NOT in the cigar business. I don't speak Spanish, but I'm pretty sure they were both blaming the other one for not doing his homework.
Deb bought some jewelry form this same guy LAST night. That was the second, "Free" Cuban. And she told me later that she asked him where he got the Cubans. after all, the distribution of these things is pretty locked up world wide. if you don't deal with the Cubans, you deal with, I believe, it's Davidoff, the Swiss company that sells all things high end with their name on it. But he told her that he has friends in Cuba that will send them to him.
This makes sense since we've been there. I bought mine on the black market in a bar. Doug Fabrizio of KUER took off with some guys who offered to sell him cigars one day to get the story. They told him that they worked for the people who distribute the cigars for the state run agency, and they steal them and sell them to feed their family's. So, there is more than one way to get cigars from Cuba, and it doesn't always benefit the communist government.
Since I could get on a plane in Cancun tomorrow, and fly to Havana, and no one would ask any questions, it's not out of the realm of imagination that there is a shipping company all too willing to take boxes from Havana to Mexico while not asking a hell of a lot of questions.
And now, even if it's not a REAL Cuban, at least it's a good cigar. Ten years ago, you might get the right color cigar band, you could still get a crummy cigar. Now, even the forgers are trying harder.
When we were first here in 1999, we found this little fish restaurant called, La Lomita. No, I have no idea what that translates too. When we were here in 2006 with the kids, we tried to go there. We got up to the doors and it was closed, but looked fine from the outside. When I looked inside, the entire roof had collapsed into the middle of the place in the hurricane of the year before.
I asked the lady running the place if it was their place, and if they had rebuilt. She said they had, that the food would be the same. The snapper was awesome, but, Deb said the shrimp was a little over cooked. We will try someplace different tomorrow. I'd like to have some conch again. I haven't eaten that in a long time.
It's so beautiful here. Green trees, blue sky, white sand. I really think that at some point, I'm going to have a place in the tropics to spend at least the time between the end of the Bowl Season, and the first of May in. Could be here. Could be Belize. Hell, could even be Florida. I can get American satellite TV, and read the paper on the internet, so I could stay in touch. Earlier tonight I did, "face time" with my son so he told me all about their soccer game (first loss this year) and I could see him pealing off his soaking wet soccer jersey while we were talking. As, The Prophet Buffett says, "I've got a Caribbean Soul I can barely control..."
But after this weekend, I might have a new favorite song about this part of the world. Last weekend, at the Greek Easter celebration in Phil and Jami's back yard, we were talking to our friends, Shannon and Paul who spend part of their winter in Mexico every year. They knew all these guys we came down here to see! I had no idea anyone in SLC had heard of them. I guess they know Mark Mulligan real well. They didn't tell us that down here, he's known as, "Mexico Mark" (and his young wife, Elsa is in the Selma Hyack range of pretty, and they have three perfect sons).
Last night, Mark did a song called, "I came down for the weekend. Twenty five years ago". That might no be a bad thing.
I'll apologize again for any misspellings. The blog home page comes up in Spanish here. And when I run the spell check every word but, "TACO" is wrong, so I just quit trying.
Two more days in paradise. Deb has some jewelry. I got my cigars smoked and my rum drank, and the music was awesome. Meagan wanted a t-shirt with a Gecko on it, found it this morning. Danny want's soccer jerseys and now he has them. Even though one had, "BIMBO" printed across the front, which will not make my neighbor, Ryan happy since he works for Mission Foods, and Bimbo is their biggest competitor in Mexico. The Mexican's seem to take Bimbo to heart, even though, Mission is a Mexican company, the same way they drink Modelo because they think of, Corona as an, "American beer". Go figure.
So that's tonight dispatch from the Truthstick media empire's Mexican office. Deb now has pastry for breakfast in the morning. She might let me sleep in bast the ungodly hour of 11:30. NO ONE gets up early on the Islands!
Her: "You have to get up, I'm hungry. You seem to live on rum and cigars when we're down here and it doesn't bother you!"
Me: "You say that like it's a BAD thing?"
Hey, it's not my fault she won't smoke the cigars or drink the rum. I keep picking up the bar tab, don't I? I'm trying.
Surprisingly enough, that mass quantity of alcohol consumed yesterday doesn't seem to have done much damage. But the sunburn is worse than estimated. I guess you could blame that on the alcohol, at least indirectly. Just a few minutes in the tropical sun, walking around the town, and it's pretty evident that I need my hat, and I am not doing well carrying a bag full of rum, soda, water, cookies and pastry she wanted from the grocery store, and the shirts we bought for the kids. After we get some lunch,we head back to the condo to take in the air conditioning and drink a couple of bottles of water.
The restaurant where we ate called this dish a, "Local Taco". But if you put ham, cream cheese and vegetables in a tightly wrapped, wheat tortilla, it's a wrap. And we've had them in the States for years. In Paris, they call it, Jambon au Fromage. It's a ham sandwich no matter where you are. It was good, but don't get above your raisin' with the name, OK?
Spent the afternoon reading the Tribune on line. Literally, the whole afternoon! The computer connection down here is not good, so the places loaded real slow. But what I got from what I could read was kind of scary.
Don't piss off your plumber, he probably has a gun. The SLCPD has shot it's second or third guy in a car this year. The Utes might start the football season ranked as high as 22. And it's going to be damn near impossible to get a good fish head in West Valley City if you have to rely on Food Stamps. Ouch! Who would want to live in such a place?
I'm glad Im down here in Mexico. Fish heads are NOT a problem on THIS island. No sir. I had baked Red Snapper tonight and it was awesome. Came without the head, though.
After dinner I picked up my third, "Free" Cuban cigar. We shall see how, "FREE" it was when I get the bill for the jewelry Deb bought from the guy who gave it to me, while I smoked it outside his shop.
Over the years, I've gotten pretty good at figuring out the fake Habano's, but the sellers have gotten better at ripping you off, too. First time we were here, I left two brothers in a raging fight about who was responsible for bringing in the fake Cubans to their shop after I pointed out to them, that if they were going to sell me, "Cohiba's" the labels should at least be yellow and black. Not ORANGE and black. Even a rookie could see that mistake. Murray High is NOT in the cigar business. I don't speak Spanish, but I'm pretty sure they were both blaming the other one for not doing his homework.
Deb bought some jewelry form this same guy LAST night. That was the second, "Free" Cuban. And she told me later that she asked him where he got the Cubans. after all, the distribution of these things is pretty locked up world wide. if you don't deal with the Cubans, you deal with, I believe, it's Davidoff, the Swiss company that sells all things high end with their name on it. But he told her that he has friends in Cuba that will send them to him.
This makes sense since we've been there. I bought mine on the black market in a bar. Doug Fabrizio of KUER took off with some guys who offered to sell him cigars one day to get the story. They told him that they worked for the people who distribute the cigars for the state run agency, and they steal them and sell them to feed their family's. So, there is more than one way to get cigars from Cuba, and it doesn't always benefit the communist government.
Since I could get on a plane in Cancun tomorrow, and fly to Havana, and no one would ask any questions, it's not out of the realm of imagination that there is a shipping company all too willing to take boxes from Havana to Mexico while not asking a hell of a lot of questions.
And now, even if it's not a REAL Cuban, at least it's a good cigar. Ten years ago, you might get the right color cigar band, you could still get a crummy cigar. Now, even the forgers are trying harder.
When we were first here in 1999, we found this little fish restaurant called, La Lomita. No, I have no idea what that translates too. When we were here in 2006 with the kids, we tried to go there. We got up to the doors and it was closed, but looked fine from the outside. When I looked inside, the entire roof had collapsed into the middle of the place in the hurricane of the year before.
I asked the lady running the place if it was their place, and if they had rebuilt. She said they had, that the food would be the same. The snapper was awesome, but, Deb said the shrimp was a little over cooked. We will try someplace different tomorrow. I'd like to have some conch again. I haven't eaten that in a long time.
It's so beautiful here. Green trees, blue sky, white sand. I really think that at some point, I'm going to have a place in the tropics to spend at least the time between the end of the Bowl Season, and the first of May in. Could be here. Could be Belize. Hell, could even be Florida. I can get American satellite TV, and read the paper on the internet, so I could stay in touch. Earlier tonight I did, "face time" with my son so he told me all about their soccer game (first loss this year) and I could see him pealing off his soaking wet soccer jersey while we were talking. As, The Prophet Buffett says, "I've got a Caribbean Soul I can barely control..."
But after this weekend, I might have a new favorite song about this part of the world. Last weekend, at the Greek Easter celebration in Phil and Jami's back yard, we were talking to our friends, Shannon and Paul who spend part of their winter in Mexico every year. They knew all these guys we came down here to see! I had no idea anyone in SLC had heard of them. I guess they know Mark Mulligan real well. They didn't tell us that down here, he's known as, "Mexico Mark" (and his young wife, Elsa is in the Selma Hyack range of pretty, and they have three perfect sons).
Last night, Mark did a song called, "I came down for the weekend. Twenty five years ago". That might no be a bad thing.
I'll apologize again for any misspellings. The blog home page comes up in Spanish here. And when I run the spell check every word but, "TACO" is wrong, so I just quit trying.
Two more days in paradise. Deb has some jewelry. I got my cigars smoked and my rum drank, and the music was awesome. Meagan wanted a t-shirt with a Gecko on it, found it this morning. Danny want's soccer jerseys and now he has them. Even though one had, "BIMBO" printed across the front, which will not make my neighbor, Ryan happy since he works for Mission Foods, and Bimbo is their biggest competitor in Mexico. The Mexican's seem to take Bimbo to heart, even though, Mission is a Mexican company, the same way they drink Modelo because they think of, Corona as an, "American beer". Go figure.
So that's tonight dispatch from the Truthstick media empire's Mexican office. Deb now has pastry for breakfast in the morning. She might let me sleep in bast the ungodly hour of 11:30. NO ONE gets up early on the Islands!
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