Bubble, Day 3. "Go CITY!" PCSC Wins The Tournament.

Up early again.  Man these tournaments in other counties that start at 10 am!  You have to be down there at 9 so the boys can warm up.  I hate getting up early on a Saturday!  I hate getting up early ANY day, but it ought to be illegal on Saturday.

This mornings game was a rematch with the team they lost to on Thursday night.  And I had a feeling they would win this time.  They should have won on Thursday, but it was Trenton and Danny's first game with this team, and the other team got a fluke goal with only a few minutes left.  But they are two pretty evenly matched teams.

Trenton got, "CITY", as their parents call the team, on the board first.  He had a game winner yesterday.  So he was really a contributor.  Danny played solid defense.  And with a goal just after half time, they held on to win 2-1 and take home a medal.

Then I got to get the HELL out of Utah County!  What a relief!  I felt myself getting smarter the further north I went.

Stopped in Draper to have an In N Out burger for lunch on the way home.  And for some reason, a parking spot was open right in front of the door.  Didn't even have to use, Deb's handicapped parking pass.  So, "The Bitchin' Camaro" got a lot of attention from the folks eating outside.

As I was filling my ice tea back up to leave, a young woman with a little boy, maybe two years old asked if that was my Camaro outside?  And I told her it was.  She said her son really liked the car, and asked if he could look inside before we left.  Sure, I told her.  We were just leaving and he could sit inside and check it out.

When she put him the drivers seat, the initial thrill quickly turned to shear terror!  He shot his mother a look that said, "Get me OUTTA here!"  Looking at a Transformer is WAY different from being INSIDE one, I guess.

They thanked me for letting him check it out, but I kind of felt bad that I'd scared him.  But, Deb told me when we got in the car, that as she walked by them to get in, he was pointing at the car and saying to his mom, "Want that!"  So I guess the scare didn't last too long.

This whole, "guest player" thing with the PC folks was a really, good experience.  The boys made some new friends.  The parents were awesome and welcomed us into their fold.  I'm really glad we got the opportunity to do this.

Now, we'll see how the new friends get along later this week.  Murray Max plays PCSC on Friday morning at 8:30 in THEIR tournament, and Trenton and Danny will be, "back in black".  And orange.  Go Murray will replace, Go City for us.  But win lose or draw, I'm sure glad to have some new friends.  And can't wait to go to Las Vegas with them this fall.

"The Bubble", Day Two

Orem is a long way off.  And I don't mean that as a joke, it's just about 45 minutes from here.  And I had to have the boys down there at 9 in the morning.  I don't like getting up early.  I didn't retire, to get up early.  But I did it.

Down the luge run that is the freeway down there during construction.  The Customs folks in Lehi just waived me through.  I guess I fooled them last night and they remembered the car.  You would think they would have at least checked the trunk for books!

The first game was kind of a blow out.  I don't know who the boys played, but the final score was 4-1, and it wasn't that close.  And, Danny's friend, Trenton had the game winning goal!

Then it was off to the University Mall for lunch in the food court.  The boys all sat together and the Park City Parents invited us to sit with them.  They have been awesome.  Very accepting, really made us feel at home.  And after lunch, the boys and most of the parents went to see a movie.  But, Deb and I had other plans.

I know it's hard to believe, but my wife went to school at, "That School Down South".  And she hadn't been back much in the last 35 years, and has been wanting to go see it again, while she can still see a little.  So we drove over there.

She didn't recognize much.  She could see the stadium, and knew the Marriott Center.  But the whole campus is torn up!  I've never seen so much construction in such a small area!

She wanted to get out and walk around on campus for a while, but we couldn't find a parking place!  There must have been a conference, or convention there today, because all the visitor lots were full and wouldn't let you in.

I really did want her to get to do this, but I have to admit.  It didn't break my heart.  The last time I was on that campus was for a debate meet my senior year in high school and I got thrown out of the student union at lunch time for having long hair.  And I was wearing a suit and a tie at the time.

I have a concealed carry permit, as a retired LEO, and I use it.  Mostly when I travel.  And being an Atheist, left wing, Liberal, Democrat in a bright orange Camaro with, "U of U" plates, I planned ahead and brought a gun with me to Utah County.  Figured I might have some trouble in, "Glennbeckistan", just wanted to be prepared.

My holster broke.  I never, even in my wildest dreams expected THIS to be a problem.  I'm pretty sure 99% of the population feels the same way.

But as I was explaining to one of the other, "soccer moms" today, I put a lot of people in jail over the years, and I won't remember all of them.  But I'm pretty sure if I put you in jail, you will remember me!  So when I'm out of my comfort zone, for what ever reason, I'm usually, "packed". 

So now, I'm in Utah County with a little .38 in an in the pants holster, hanging on by a thread because the plastic clip on the holster broke when I put it back in my pants after using the restroom at lunch time.

Good thing I'm in, "Glennbeckistan", there's a gun shop on every other corner!  Not five minutes from the mall, I find a suitable replacement and I'm on my way!

Back to the fields for the second game at 5:15.  Much tougher game.  But the boys win 2-1 and will have to be back in the morning for the championship game against the team that beat them on Thursday night.  And I think we're going to win.  We gave up a fluke goal late in the game on Thursday, and I have a feeling that's not going to happen this time.

Back to, "The Bubble" day 3.  Man, I never thought I'd EVER have to spend 3 days in that place.  I should get a, "Father of The Year" award for this!

Into The Bubble: A Savage Journey To The Heart Of The American Nightmare

My son has been invited to be a, "guest player" for a soccer team from Park City this year, and their first tournament started tonight in Orem.

Utah County.  "The Bubble".  Where it's always 1984.  Ronald Reagan is forever President, and BYU is the National Football Champion.  There are no Gay folks, and everyone will see you at the Ward Supper, because everyone is a Mormon.  And we, "Priciate cha so much" for it!

I've made no bones about my Atheist feelings, my Liberal Democratic politics (can't help it.  Went to a REAL college, learned to critically think.  That's what an education will do to you) and I even have, "U of U" license plates on my car.

I figured, that if I got off the freeway in Lehi, and took the back roads, I might not get shot at.  But before I could get off the freeway, there was a big billboard for, BYUTV, "The home of the Cougars".  Thank, God for that!  It pretty much assures that no one in the rest of the country will be exposed to THAT mess while they fill time between fire side chats from the leaders of the church, and showings of The Lawrence Welk Show!  So I know I'm in trouble.  These people hate people like me.

On that note?  Why don't we have a sign on the North bound side of I15, North side of point of the mountain that says something like, "ESPN, FOX SPORTS, PAC 12 NETWORK, the home of the Utes!"?  Or at least something like, "Welcome to BCS Country!  This is the only time YOU'LL ever get to see it!"  Just a thought.

Had to stop at Customs in Lehi.  They wanted to make sure that I wasn't a Mexican, had a Utah drivers license, wasn't carrying any alcohol or books, WAS carrying a gun, made sure I wasn't listening to NPR, and knew the password.  "1984".  They looked funny at the Camaro since it had the "U" plates, but they let me pass.  Awesome!  The boy won't miss his soccer game.

I passed billboards for, "Dear Elder", "The Missionary Connection" and strangely enough, one going in and out of the county advertising a trip to Israel with of all people?  Glenn Beck!

Here's a guy who's so right wing crazy he can't hold a job on, "Faux News", which is in the right wing and crazy business.  And you should go to one of the most history rich places on the planet, regardless of your religious views, and listen to a bat shit crazy, moron tell you all about it?  WTF?  Really?  Wow.  This place is even crazier than I thought.

And they're crazy enough to think the rest of the country is as interested in their football team as they are in Notre Dame.  And that's CRAZY, off the charts!

And on top of it, the road construction has everything so screwed up, and not just on the freeway that you can't get anywhere.  Even, On Star gave up on giving me directions at one point because of all the detours!

"You have left the route we are guiding you on.  Please press the On Star button again if you want directions from where you are now.  Thank you."  I didn't bother, but when we finally DID get into the park where the games were being held, the voice came back on and said, "You have reached your destination.  Route guidance will stop now."  You could almost hear the system say, "Jesus!  Where the hell have you BEEN!  We can't even find you with satellite GPS!"

The boys lost tonight and have two games tomorrow.  One early in the morning, one in the evening, so I have to spend the whole day down there in, "The Bubble" and I'm not looking forward to it.  I'm sure it will get weirder. 

But the bright side is that Deb wants to see some places down there she hasn't seen in many years, while she can still see.  So we'll take the opportunity of being down there (cause since her brothers family moved from Orem to St. George, we have NO reason to go to Utah County except when passing through) and let her look around.

But after tonight's experience?  I think the bat shit's a little thicker than I thought.  Might have to bring a BIGGER gun.

MONSTER! Or, MONSTER?

All weekend, Faux News was reporting that the Muslim extremest killed 80 or so people in Norway on Friday.  This person is some sort of a monster.  He's out of control.

Today?  When the facts have been out since... BEFORE they started saying that, the whole world now knows that it was a bright eyed, blue eyed, Blondie haired, "white and delight some", Christian, radical who gunned down a bunch of kids at a summer camp, because he was worried about the, "Muslimization of Europe".

The summer camp was sponsored by the Labor Party of Norway.  Who opposed the Nazis in WWII.  And it was to teach DEMOCRACY!

Free people, voting in a free country, is what let this, Christian, with too much access to bullets, kill 80 people.  And this in a country with gun control we would not tolerate in America.

Fuck.

I have a BUNCH of guns.  I spent my life around guns.  I love me some guns.  I love how they work.  I love the engineering, the workmanship, the history.  ESPECIALLY the HISTORY, of the guns I own, and the way they changed OUR history.  The history of the gun is, whether you like it or not, the history of America.

Now, I'm going to be forced to defend my gun love to my liberal friends who don't know the whole story, and just assume that this guy, since he used a gun, is a reason to ban guns from all but the military or the police.  World wide.

But it's not that simple, is it?  Crazy Cops and Soldiers get fired, and they know how to use guns and have access to them, or steal them, or buy them at gun shows, where they don't have to do background checks.

But if I said I was in favor of making gun shows do background checks?  I'd be labeled a crazy, "Liberal".  WTF?  I know, it's crazy, but you can bet it's going to happen.  I'M the CRAZY one, for suggesting that anyone who wants to buy deadly force, prove they are a citizen, legally in this country, not crazy, on drugs, a convicted felon, subject to a restraining order, or otherwise too fucking nuts to buy a GUN!  How the FUCK is THAT out of line!?

If you can pass THAT test?  Knock yourself out.  Buy all the guns you want.  But not right now.  How many guns a month do you need?  Because in places like Virginia, people who CAN pass that test, buy a BUNCH at a time.  And they end up in the hands of gang members in New York City.

Can we all, right wing, left wing, Democrat, Republican, agree that THAT is a bad thing?

Because they use them to shoot at the Cops.  And if we can all agree that the folks who buy guns illegally mostly shoot each other, and that's a GOOD thing, and it is because those of us who went to college and don't live in the ghetto and are white, don't really care about those people, and statistically are NOT likely to be shot.  At.  Or EVER...

Wait!  I think I see a pattern here!  If the guns are sold and the companies make a profit.  And rich, white people are not the ones getting killed, as it's only poor, black people who are the victims, shoot EACH OTHER, while white, rich folks make a profit?  Oh, HELL yeah!  Win win situation for rich, white, Republicans!

No one in my fairly rich, white neighborhood has been shot in about two years.  There was that incident where a Hispanic gang member was shot in the park a block from me a few years ago, but it's not common.  Hell, I live next to a Park.  All the, "Commoners" are allowed in it.  So I have to take my chances.

Faux News is NOT news.  Muslims, as screwed up as they are, don't ALL hate America.  And Mormons?  The better, Mitt does in this election?  You're going to be made out WORSE than Muslims.  Trust me.  So don't be so quick to judge.

That guy in Norway?  I don't question his religion.  I don't question his political motives.  Both are SO crazy that he would kill 80 people to prove them right?  He's not a political activist.  He's a mental health case.  He's crazy.

But I do have to question how he had access to THAT much ammo.  And how was he able to load it so quick.

And I have to question why we, in this country, still think that this scenario is OK, in the name of, "The Right To Bear Arms".  Because it could happen here.

House Concert. "Trop Rock" In Murray, September 11.

This guy is going to play my back yard on Sunday, September 11 at five o'clock.  His name is Kelly McGuire, and he's a Texas singer/songwriter with part of his soul in Belize.  I guess, Jimmy Buffett would say, he has a Caribbean Soul he can barely control.  But it will be a night of songs about boats, and islands and all things tropical.  I hope I get lots of friends here, because it will be a wonderful time.  And by the time he's through, if you never thought you wanted to go to Belize, you will.

Still trying to get in touch with, David "Fudley" Harris to see if he'll sit in on the steel drums.  That would add to the festivities.

Let me explain how a house concert works, so everyone who comes knows up front.  I am NOT going to make a penny on this deal.  I am providing a venue, and picking, Kelly up a the airport and taking him back, and I've arranged lodging for him.  But I'm doing this to give a friend a way to expand his musical footprint, maybe sell a few CD's, and share one of my favorite performers with more of my friends.

He pays his own way here, and we will collect money at the show to cover his travel expenses.  The suggested donation is $20 per person.  But give what you can.  And when he takes an intermission, and you are chatting him up over a beer, buy a CD.  His assistant sent me some information that if they can get 20 to 40 folks to chip in $20, it will cover his expenses to get here.

I think Murray folks will do that.  He's flying over here from Denver before he goes home to Houston, just to do this show.

This is not a Jimmy Buffett Cover act, so don't expect to hear, Margaritaville.  You will be hearing, Kelly McGuire songs (and some of them will be ABOUT, Jimmy Buffett, because his music has influenced, Kelly.  Blame It On Buffett, and, Who Wouldn't Want To Be Buffett (either Warren or the other one) will probably be rolled out).  This is original music in the, "Trop Rock" vein.  And you're going to love it.

If you have been to San Pedro, you will see yourself in his music.  From Chan Hole to BC's palapa bar music jam on a Sunday afternoon, he'll cover it all.  If you haven't, you will want to go when he's done.

Since I don't know how many people are going to be here, I'm not planning on food or drink.  So feel free to BYOB (bottle, NOT boat!) or even a picnic dinner, I have a big enough yard to spread out a blanket and enjoy the show.

Now, a word about children.  I love to see kids exposed to live music.  Especially this kind of live music.  So bring them.  And if they are under 18, don't pay $20 for them, either.  I want to encourage this behavior. 

But that being said, this is all about the music, so no climbing the trees, or running around the backyard or yelling and screaming.  Can we all agree on that?  I'd hate to have all the work I've put into this made an unpleasant experience by too many distractions.

My friend, Jeff Evans of Salt Lake's most popular local band, Insatiable, has generously offered to provide a sound system for us, so even though I live by 5400, you will be able to hear the music.

The show will start at five o'clock and be done in plenty of time for you to go home so you can go to sleep, and go to work the next morning.

Deb and I were lucky enough to meet, Kelly a couple of years ago in Belize when we were there to see, Jerry Jeff Walker.  We were staying at Ramon's Village, and some folks we met there convinced us to come and see him at a beach bar, and we really liked what we heard.  So when the opportunity came to see him in Mexico, on one of our favorite islands this May, we took it.  And after some preliminary emails, that's where the idea for a show here really came together.

So if you are reading this, please come and enjoy a little bit of the Tropics, while we head toward fall in Utah.  And, Kelly is hoping to do a little mountain biking in Park City while he's here for an extra day, so if any of you have suggestions (I'm talking to YOU, Ron Huggins!) let him know.

And let me know if you can come, I'd like to have a rough number to give, Kelly before he gets here.

"...Trailing a light in my wake, you'll find me, by the choices you make.."  Kelly McGuire.

First Truthstick Food Review. Busy Bee? You Got Some, "Splainin" To Do!

I was going to meet an old friend of mine from high school (we were on the Debate Team together) for lunch today.  And she couldn't figure out how to find, Gepetto's in Holiday.  Where everyone from Murray High went in the 70's.  So, figuring out she was, "directionally challenged" I picked a place that no one could miss.  The Busy Bee on 2100 S. and State Street.  She said she had never had a Garlic Burger, so this seemed like a good time to show her the awesome magic of too much garlic, and the best steak fries in the state.

But, alas, the steak fries were GONE!  WTF!?

I got ratty looking, narrow fried potato's that actually looked like they were covered in BATTER!  Like the shitty fries that have kept me from eating at, Burger King for 20 years or more!  These things were AWFUL!  What happened to the Steak Fries?

I have to say, that comparing Garlic Burgers in this valley really comes down to, The Busy Bee and, The Cotton Bottom.  And for me?  The deciding factor, when I'm going to commit to a meal that will kill me later anyway, was that, The Cotton Bottom was a little too much, "Billy Goat Tavern" ("No fries, cheeeps!  Cheeseburger?").  The burger is awesome, but the chips?  In a greasy bag from, Frito Lay?  Just can't stack up to the Steak Fries at, The Busy Bee.  If those are gone?  Well, I'm living closer to the, "Bottom", so I'll save the trip.

French fries are subjective, I realize.  But in my, humble opinion, the thick, Steak Fries are the best.  Red Robin, Wingers and, "The Bee" did them best.  Now?  I'm going to be eating expensive burgers or chicken fingers when I want Steak Fries, I guess.

So, Busy Bee owners, operatives, employees, patrons who know something, please explain yourselves!  Please.

And another telling thing the waitress said when taking our order, "I hope you want fries or a salad, we're out of onion rings" and this was at noon.  Not late in the afternoon.  Noon.  So does this tell me this place is in trouble, and not paying it's bills, or keeping it's suppliers happy?  I need to know.

My advice to anyone who likes to have lunch at this place?  Boycott them until they bring back the Steak Fries!

It Appears You Have To Be A Moron To Work In Customer Service For Satellite Radio

I have five satellite radio accounts.  Yeah, I know, that's ridiculous.  But bear with me.  The first one was a, "plug and play" deal that would work in my Pontiac and you could take it out and put it in a, "boom box" looking deal, and listen to it on the patio.

Jesus, even MY kids are too young to remember the term, "boom box", but I don't know what else to call it.

When I bought the Audi, it had satellite radio in it, and I gave the old car to Meagan and she wanted to keep the satellite radio, so I let her.  Now we're up to two.

Used to be you could listen on line for free, if you were already a subscriber.  A while ago, they changed that, and you now have to pay for on line listening.  That's three.  And as you all know, I'm NEVER on the computer, so I don't know why I have THAT one.

When the old, "plug and play" in Meagan's car died, I had to buy a new one for her which replaced account number one.  But then I needed one for my NEW, "boom box" that would also plug into my truck.  Now we're up to four.

Those are all Sirius accounts.  Bought the Camaro last year, it came with XM.  That's five satellite radio accounts.

I don't have a problem with the service.  It's pretty much great where ever you go.  I could even listen on line in Mexico with my iPad.  Although, spending a whole day driving through the Redwoods in California and not taking an CD's proved to be a very, quiet, tactical error on my part, the stuff works real well.

But God help you if you need to call these people for ANY reason at all.  And now that Sirius and XM have merged, you get the same shitty on hold music no matter who you're calling.

When the first unit we bought died and I had to deactivate it, I tried to do it on line.  Wouldn't work.  You can turn one ON, on line, but not off.  So I had to call them and wait what seemed like forever to talk to a guy in Bangalore, who informed me there was no way to shut one off on line, and then did it for me.

Unfortunately, even though I read him the number off the back of the unit, when he turned it off, it disabled my on line account, too.

When you disable the ORIGINAL unit, even though you tell them the number on it, and to only shut IT off, and not all your other accounts, they can't seem to make that happen.  At least not the first try. 

The next day, four phone calls later, they finally reactivated my other accounts.  Didn't bother to tell me that when they do that?  They change your user name and password.  Took another phone call the next day to get THAT fixed.

Every two years, when we get a new credit card, the number doesn't change, but the expiration date does, so as each account comes due for the year, Sirius would send me an email, telling me that the credit card I had given them would not work.  I would go on line to my account, change the expiration date and a day later get an email thanking me for continuing my service.  Pain in the ass, but expected, and relatively painless.

It appears that the folks on the XM side of the operation haven't caught up.  As bad as it is at Sirius?  XM makes them look like geniuses.

Yesterday, I got a bright yellow letter in the mail from XM, telling me that they couldn't process my credit card payment, and, "Immediate Action required to avoid termination of service".  So, knowing how this works, I called them this morning.  I was soon connected to, "Mike".  Should have asked, Mike about the weather in Bangalore in the middle of the night.

Mike was obviously new at this, because he couldn't stop using the script.  Trying to sell me more services (I already have the, "every freakin' station you offer" package) and trying to trouble shoot me through what ever problem he had been coached to THINK I had.  At one point I finally had to say, "HEY, MIKE!  STOP TALKING.  Just stop, talking.  YOU need to listen to ME now, OK?

"Yes, sir."

"Mike, I just want to give you a new credit card expiration date, so you can bill me, and my radio won't go off, OK?  Can we do that?"

"Yes, sir.  Which account, sir.  Can you read me the noomber off the back of your device, sir?"

"No, Mike I can't.  It's in a Chevy Camaro.  I can't look behind it.  Go to my account using my phone number, and find the device number for the one marked, "Chevy Camaro", OK, Mike?"

I'm giving computer advice to a guy in India.  That's rich.

"Yes sir, I've found it!  You have an outstanding balance of twelve dollars and fivvvty cents.  Would you like to pay that now, sir?"

"Yes, Mike, I 'd like to pay that now.  And while you're at it, bill me for the next year."

By the time I finally had to tell him I was going to hang up, because he was not going to SHUT up, it was pretty much assured that I wouldn't lose my satellite radio in the Camaro.

Never assume.

By two o'clock this afternoon, I had done everything I had to do today.  Took my, "learners permit" son for a drive to visit his grandmother, took him and his mom out to lunch at, The Italian Village (gotta love the pizza bender lunch for about 8 bucks, man!), took the family home so they could take off and visit the OTHER Grandmother, got some whiskey and a cigar and got home by two o'clock.  I had a whole hour before the boys and the dogs arrived for, "Dog Day Friday".  I'm going to go for a little, windows down, radio turned up, cruse around Murray in, "The Bitchin' Camaro"  Yeah!

Get in the car, and the satellite radio doesn't work.  Should have seen THIS coming.

I'll make this story short, but after 25 minutes on hold, with, Michele who was not Indian, but sounded pretty southern, they assured me that they would fix the problem, and my radio should be back in working order in a matter of minutes.  Fuck it.  By now I just parked the sucker in the garage and went to get the back yard ready for a bunch of dogs.

After everyone has gone home at about five thirty, I decide to go out and see if it's working, since I have places to go tomorrow.  Should have seen THIS coming.

This time, I"m pissed.  Ask my wife, you don't want to deal with me when I'm pissed.  I do NOT suffer fools gladly, and all I've had to deal with today from the satellite radio people is fools.  There are probably STILL Parolees out there, somewhere in Utah who talk about what happened when they pissed ME off.  And I've been retired for five years.

The first guy that answered the phone?  I bit his head clean off, right through the phone line, spit it out into the backyard THROUGH the glass sliding door and shouted down the neck of his lifeless corpse, "PUT A SUPERVISOR ON THIS PHONE RIGHT NOW, YOU INCOMPETENT IDIOT!"  Almost immediately, I'm speaking to, "John". 

"Ello.  Dis is, John.  Ow may I hellp you?"

Back in freakin' Bangalore!  Damn it!

He asks for the account number, which I read to him off the yellow letter that arrived yesterday.  Three times.  Doesn't help.

He needs the number off the back of the device again.  By the third time he asks for this, after I told him for the third time, it was in the car, and I couldn't get behind it, I was yelling, "IT'S IN A FUCKING CHEVY CAMARO, I KEEP TELLING YOU, I CAN'T LOOK BEHIND THE FUCKING RADIO!  LOOK THE ACCOUNT NUMBER UP BY THE PHONE NUMBER AND GO TO WHERE IT SAYS, CHEVY CAMARO, YOU INCOMPETENT MORON!"

By this time, Deb, who was sitting on the patio had come to the door.  I think she thought I was yelling at the kids.  Now, John asks me if I have access to the car.  Are you shitting me?  Yeah, I think I can find it.  Hold on a minute.

Go out, turn on the car, back it out of, The Garage Ma Hall to make sure I have a good satellite connection and, John tells me to turn it to channel 1 and read him the number that the radio tells me.

So I do.

You know by now exactly where this is going to go.  You can see it coming from a mile a way.  You could hit THIS pitch out of any park, including Yellowstone.  But play along.

"That's not the right number, sir."  WTF?

How is that NOT the right number!  It's the number the RADIO is telling me is IT'S number!

We do this four or five times.  And four or five times, I feel compelled to ask, John if he's retarded?

He says, "There are only eight numbers.  There should be nine."  Oh, shit.  Those Canadians who put this fucker together STOLE one of my numbers!

By this time, I'm so angry that I wish I didn't like handguns so much.  I wish I had bought some shit that could just rain hot lead, indiscriminately at, Bangalore, India from Murray, Utah!  I'm pissed off to the the highest level of pissed-a-tude!

In desperation, I go back to what has worked before, "JUST FUCKING LOOK UP THE ACCOUNT NUMBER BY THE PHONE NUMBER AND GO TO WHERE IT SAYS, CHEVY CAMARO!"

John?  He's a quick learner.  He'll go far in this company.  Because as soon as I yell this at him for the third, or fourth, or fifth time, suddenly, Outlaw Country is playing through the lovely Boston Acoustic speakers of, "The Bitchin' Camaro".

So, I thanked him for his help.  I said, "You people are incompetent, inbred stupid bastards who could fuck up a rock fight.  Thanks for all you help!"

I swear, before I could push the, "off" button, I heard him, say, "I'm happy we could be of service..."

I think I'm going to get some yellow paper.  And every summer about this time, I'm going to send a letter to XM.  And it's going to say, "Immediate action required to keep me from terminating YOU as my satellite radio provider!  You MUST have someone call me and ask if my credit card number or expiration date has changed before you terminate my service!"

Bastards.

I won't even go into what it took to get, John to get my email right.  "GOLF, OSCAR, NOVEMBER, ZULU, OSCAR, PAPA, OSCAR, AT...