Rivalry Week. Sort of.

Here it is, the, BIG GAME. The Holy War. Whatever. Just don't refer to it as a match up sponsored by the Mormon's Credit Union, because I don't remember their name, I don't know who's won that trophy, any year, and don't care. And, to quote, Bill Murray in, Meatballs, "It just doesn't matter...!"

Completely off the subject, but when the Mormon Republicans in the Legislature were hating on Credit Unions a few years ago at the behest of Zion's Bank, why didn't the church get rid of theirs? I'm just askin'?

And it doesn't matter any more because we are OUT of their LEAGUE starting next year. Always have been as a University, but that's another, "rant". And this year? Do you really care if the Utes go to the Las Vegas Bowl or San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl? I know I don't because chances are, I'm not going to make the trip to either one of them.

I'd rather they ended up in the Kraft Foods End Hunger Bowl in San Francisco like we did 5 years ago when the PAC 10 didn't have enough qualifiers. My wife grew up there, so it's easy to talk her into that trip. And we love that town.

I really don't care if we win on Saturday or not. Well, I DO care, but not like I cared for the last 40 years. Because we are leaving them behind in the college football world. They shot themselves in the head because of a crummy TV deal, only to get another crummy TV deal, but with a bigger payoff.

And they will be playing on Wednesday nights in the fall, instead of Saturday afternoon.

And this is what really makes this week less than important. Next year, we might play on Friday night once a year. Or maybe a Thursday once in a while. But we will play ALL of our games on national TV, EVERY Saturday. Rake in about $15 Million every year after the first three years, and every year. EVERY FREAKIN' YEAR, our goal at the start of the season is to win our Conference (same as now) and play in THE ROSE BOWL (WAY different from now). If we have a mediocre year, if we go 6-5, we could STILL play in the Las Vegas Bowl. But a GOOD year? Rose Bowl. Or BCS National Championship Game.

That School Down South, can go 12-0 every year from now until eternity, when they get their own centrally heated, wall to wall carpeted, planet, Kolob to live on for time and all eternity, And they will never, ever, play in a Rose Bowl.

And if their schedule includes, Weber State, La Tech and Army every year? They won't get a shot to play in ANY BCS Bowl Game. We have left them behind in every way.

Now, I can hear the yelling from Provo, "We have a national title! We have a Heisman Trophy!" Yeah, whatever. YOU'RE national tittle is the reason we have the abortion that is the BCS instead of a playoff. Congrats on your Heisman. Enjoy it, it's you last one.

The BCS still sucks, but if it's to stay with us, and there is every indication that it is, I'd rather be part of it than not. So once we have two of them, I'm going to walk down Center Street in Provo with a sign that says, "So long bubble! Every one knows your password is 1984!" By that time, you could have the biggest football stadium in the FCS (read Division 1 AA) because that's where you're heading.

I'll always buy my tickets, even though I might not always go to the game. And I'll always root for my Utes. But I'm going to all the away games I can, because I like Tucson and Los Angeles a lot better than Laramie and Albuquerque.

So, yeah, it's rivalry week. But I don't care much. I want my team to win, but there is nothing, absolutely NOTHING on the line here. Of all the Bowl Games we can get, they are about the same. And after this year, tsds is NOT a rival. Colorado will be our rivalry game.

Tsds is just another, non-conference game that fills out our schedule. And even if they win, they can, "rise and shout" about it, but it doesn't really matter. Even if they DO beat us, we're still playing for a Rose Bowl. And they aren't. Ever.

WE are now the rich guys from the camp across the lake. And, "Even if you play so far above your heads that your noses bleed for a week to ten days! You still won't ever get the Roses! They will go to the rich guys from the camp across the lake! So, It just doesn't matter! It just doesn't matter...!"

Repeat ad infinitim, Cougars.

Utah State Get's Screwed Again

Utah State's athletic program continues to be a Warren Zevon song. "Bad Karma".

In the early 60's, when they had, Merlin Olsen and were on top of the world as a football independent, they turned down an invitation to join the newly forming, Western Athletic Conference with Utah and, "That School Down South" because they didn't need them!

Since then, they have been through countless conference's looking for a permanent home. Big West, Sun Belt, independence again for a while, and finally got accepted into the WAC. Now, the WAC is crumbling around them.

Tonight it was announced that Hawaii was going to jump ship from the WAC to The Mountain West Conference. This leaves the WAC without the NCAA minimum of 6 teams that have competed for at least two years together, to get an automatic qualifying spot in ANY NCAA tournaments. Are you listening Aggie basketball fans?

This means that as good as their team is, starting next year, you don't get to go to, "The Big Dance" because your conference is in such flux, that it can't be trusted.

And you know who to blame for this mess? The Utah Legislature! You think that's a stretch? Well, let me connect the dots for you.

Years ago, the Utes pursuing a move to the more prestigious, and prosperous PAC 10 were forced to keep that effort under the radar because there was a fear that the Legislature would pass a law that required the Utes play in the same conference as BYU, if they knew it was going to happen. Thus dragging the Utes down to the level of that seminary in Provo.

Think I'm kidding? Think it couldn't happen? Do a little research to find out why the Big 12 was able to kick out TCU, SMU and Rice but not the Baptist school Baylor when they quit being the Southwest Conference. And former Texas Governor, Ann Richards will figure prominently in the picture.

Why do you think the Utes jump to the PAC was not announced when there was any chance of the Legislature stopping it?

And did you read the papers this summer? How Utah State, fear full of retaliation from the Legislature, turned DOWN an offer from the MWC, to try to lure BYU to the WAC for the rest of it's sports while they would go independent in football?

Boy, if you're a Utah State fan, and you vote for Mormon Republicans you have no one to blame for your status but yourself.

So, the Aggie's get screwed again. They won't get into the MWC after turning down their first, and probably only, invitation to THAT dance. The WAC is going to become a non-entity as far as the NCAA is concerned, so they can't even hope to get into the NCAA tournaments. And it's all because they couldn't risk alienating the Legislature.

That is really sad.

What's next? Plead with the MWC to ask them again when TCU goes to the Big East? Drop down a level and join The Big Sky? After all, THAT conference still has an automatic bid to the NCAA basketball tournament, and they are looking to get bigger. And you could have local rivals in Weber State and Southern Utah "University".

I don't know which direction they should go, but I do know this. They shot themselves in the foot 50 years ago, and Karma has kept the wound open. Are you listening, BYU?

Is It Offensive or Funny to Lisa Landry?

OK. This is going to take some setting up. Because the one person I'm worried about offending with this needs a LOT of background. The rest of you who will see this on FB, know the way life is in the west, and will know what I'm talking about. But many might not get the slight, cultural inference that makes it funny in the rest of the country.

My friend, Lisa is converting to Jewish from Catholic for her husband. Which is more than my wife did for me (when we got married, Deb was/is a Mormon. I was a Presbyterian). Now? Neither one of us so much. I don't believe in any of it, and she's not been to church for ages.

But what I want to know, is where is the line of making fun, and causing grief, or really stepping on some toes. OK, here goes.

Living in Utah, you know that you have to run the gas out of your lawnmower every fall. If you don't, the stuff that's left, will leave a varnish on your carburetor. This will prevent it from starting in the spring. You do the same thing every spring with your snow blower.

Tonight, I took the, "turkey baister" I keep in the shed (oh, I see a HILLBILLY JOKE in THERE somewhere!) and after mowing the lawn to pick up the leaves the LAST time for this year, took all the gas I could get, searching every nook and cranny of the mowers gas tank, and put it into the gas can to use in the snow blower. Then, figuring the mower would run less than a minute, turned it on to run the gas out of the carburetor.

It ran for the entire hour and a half that my son and one of his friends and I were bagging leaves.

I don't claim to be a religious scholar. Hell, it took me three tries to SPELL, "Scholar". But I know a little about a lot.

And my first thought was, "Hanuka". A celebration, coming up next month, of having only one nights fuel for your lamp, and getting 8 days. That was a miracle. Eight days of light!

As a sociologist, I think THAT'S what I was thinking. But...

Being a smart ass, suburban, westerner, I also thought, "I have a Hanuka Lawnmower! I gave it one minute of fuel and it ran for 80. Is this a miracle? Living here in Utah, I have no one to ask. All the kids I went to school with who were named, Leavitt, were Mormons!"

Now, is that sacrilege, or just a funny? I mean no offense. I'm just drawing cultural references that being in Utah? Might be too far apart.

Please, comment. I need to know where the line is.

I kidded, Lisa about, "Kosher/Cajun food" I know she can take a joke. But does the, Haunuka joke cross the line?

The Stickley Diaries

It's been a rough couple of weeks around here, since the tyrannical government asserted itself again. Those of us here in, "The Compound" at the back of the circle, the Atheists and non-Republicans have managed to hold out. The, Tyrannical Election Assholes or, "TEA" baggers, started their terrorism a few days before the election. They shut down the power and the water. Good thing, Ernie's pool was still full.

We siphoned gas out of the expensive, foreign cars we all own (including, Ernie's T-Bird, GMC Pickup, my Camaro, Ford truck, and Pontiac, and, Ryan's Saturn) to keep the generator's running and protect the food supply. Foie gras spoils SO quickly, you know.

Ryan had to leave town for business in Reno, but he left us enough, Mission Tortilla's (thank God for our connection to Mexico for our basic food stuffs!) to keep us alive while he was gone. And his, "Hell Hound", Kora single handily protected our Southeastern flank. A Brazilian Mastiff, even under weight at 160 pounds, is still a formidable opponent.

And I know the bastards tried. While cleaning up after her today I noticed pieces of clothing and buttons in her scat. And what might have been part of, "Palin For President" campaign button. Kora (Kill Off Republican Assholes, the name WAS on purpose) acts really skittish, but it's just to get you confident enough to climb the fence. She's slow until it's YOU she's chasing.

I know the bastards tried to breach the north wall, too. They actually got close enough to steal a, "Turner For County Council" sign, even though they had to walk through twenty yards of tall, wet grass to steal it off my wall bordering a State Highway. The dogs must have scared them off. I was asleep, or I'd have unloaded on them with the sawed off!

The helicopters have been never ending. They fly east and west over my house. Between the new hospital and the entire west side of the valley, doing surveillance, no doubt. I try to keep them on their toes, and above tree level, by lobbing a few .357 shell's at em'. Especially when they are, "ALLEGEDLY" on their way TO the hospital to save lives. They aren't fooling me, by damn!

Ammunition has been a problem since the Republicans caught on to our plan to hoard all the center fire stuff for ourselves after the election. I should have known that, Darrin Evan's was just too smart for the rest of us when he told me six or eight years ago, in our AP&P office that he KNEW that was a Democratic Party plan, since he'd seen it in our Platform on the Internet. DAMN YOU RELIABLE INTERNET NEWS STORIES!

And I limited the range of our defensive lines by watching too many episodes of, "Pawn Stars". After all, I had no need for my father's .35 Remington deer rifle after his death a few years ago. I don't deer hunt.

And I could have kept that virtually worthless, Smith And Wesson Sigma Series .40 semi auto that wouldn't hit Canada at 25 yards. But since my friends at work bought me my TRULY lethal, Glock .40 upon my retirement, I just didn't need TWO 40. semi automatic handguns. How stupid! I was thinking like a reasonable person and NOT a Republican!

So I let the rifle go. I could have picked off the aggressors as far away as, Bullion, or maybe, Walden Ridge Drive with it. Instead, we had to rely on, Ernie's deer and elk guns. And I mostly, "threw in" the S&W for trade to get a new, high power, stainless steel, .357 handgun that I can actually USE, to say take on camping trips, or protect my house from a home invasion.

And the sawed off shotgun I bought, legally, for my wife when we found out she was losing her sight? So she could protect herself and our daughter while I was still working the streets at night and had received death threats from some guy I had put in prison? Well, it's not much help when protecting yourself from I tyrannical government! You need an assault rifle.

Or a ballot box.

Any one still reading along that's NOT in on the joke?

Two weeks ago, we changed governments in this country. And just like it's happened every time since 1776, it was peaceful. Other than the occasional punch in the nose, there was no blood shed. No riots in the street. And just like every time since the election of FDR (Republicans? Look him up) the sitting Democratic President lost control of at least ONE side of the Capitol. We've had, "The No Nothings", the, "John Birch Society", Ronald Regan, "The Militia Movement" and now, "The Tea Baggers" in reaction to EVERY Democrat elected since FDR.

The country didn't need to be TAKEN BACK! It never went anywhere! Relax, we will ALL get through this.

In two years, the Democrats will again be in control of the House, the Senate and the White House, two of the three branches of Government (again, Republicans? Look them up. House and Senate are ONE branch. Trust me). Because the Republicans won't do anything for fear of having to DO something, which would mean they won't get reelected! And around and around we go.

The only question then will be, will the Democrats have the balls with a President not ABLE to run for election to do the RIGHT thing, instead of the right thing to get elected. I hope so.

Road Rage. I Learned My Lesson Last Year.

First of all, Happy Veteran's Day to everyone who is one. I've learned over the years that I grew up in a time when there have been no wars we should have fought. But you don't ever want to see the Vet's treated like they were when they came home from, Viet Nam.

Last year on the Pacific Coast Highway, I stopped to let a jerk who was tailgating and honking at me, go around. He wouldn't. So I got out of the car to tell him to go around, and he tried to take the door off my car and run me over. Major damage to the Audi, Deb was still IN the car when he hit it on purpose, but wasn't hurt. We finished our trip, but it was noisy in the car.

I gave the CHP the guys license plate from Washington, but they didn't do shit.

Now, a year later, I'm heading west on 5900 South and stop at the light at State Street and I'm behind some guy with a pickup truck full of what looks to be office furniture, all held down by one strap across the top of the pile. And BOY is this guy moving slow! He barely gets across State Street before the light goes red again, and he's hitting his breaks every 20 yards or so. The pair of railroad tracks there at 300 West? Forgetaboutit! Two miles an hour, tops.

I don't judge this guy because I've moved before, and I know he's just being careful, but if he'd done a better job of securing his load, he wouldn't have kept me and the line of cars behind me, moving ten miles an hour under the speed limit. I don't think he was purposefully being rude, but he was keeping other people from where they needed to go, and my son had a soccer practice he was already going to be late for because of a doctor's appointment.

I just let it go, because I learned about road rager's last year. I wait until I'm in the passing zone, just west of I15 on 5900 S. and I pass him. He's only doing 20 miles an hour in a 30 zone. In the Audi, I'm around him in a second.

Can this, in any world, be construed as an, "Act Of War"? Was I out of line somehow? Did I do something wrong? It was, after all, a PASSING ZONE.

This guy went nuts! He starts honking his horn, and I didn't notice this until I moved back into the right lane, he had stepped on the gas! He was trying to keep me from coming back into the right lane, after CRAWLING over the railroad tracks to protect his furniture, he was now going as fast as the Audi! What happened to worrying about you crappy press wood furniture you red neck, asshole!

By the time I noticed he'd, "Stepped on it" when I came back over into my lane, I must have missed the front of his truck by less than a foot! WTF!

Who made this Jerk, "The Speed Limit Sheriff"? I'm not allowed to pass this guy in a passing zone? What the hell was this guy thinking?

So at 7th West, at the light, this guy pulls into the left turn lane, and I choose not to look at him. Don't give a damn who he is or what he looks like. Honestly, not ever sure it's a male, but his behavior was very, "Macho" and aggressive to I assume it was.

Why do people think this way? Why is everything a personal affront? Why do people get in the fast lane, the left lane, on any road, and drive at whatever speed they think EVERYONE should? How do you get that so self important?

From 7th West down Greenoaks all the way to my house the speed limit is 25, and I drive that or less, because I don't want people to speed through my neighborhood, and I'm sure those folks feel the same way. But passing you in a passing zone when you're driving ten miles an hour under the posted speed limit is an act of war? I don't get it.

I guess it's a good thing neither one of us was liquored up and carrying a gun. Or, maybe we were? I wasn't, can't speak for him.

It's not the end of the world.

The Election went poorly for well educated people who think the poor should have a safety net in the country, that a National Health Care System would help us compete internationally in manufacturing, that would like to see us quit locking up people for using marijuana and anyone in their right mind. But it's not all bad.

At least here in Murray, Tim Cosgrove defeated political novice, Shawn Bradley (no one told his parents that the name is spelled, Sean?). Who's entire campaign seemed to be based on the fact that he was the tallest candidate. Not the smartest. Not the best educated. Just the tallest.

I emailed his old employer, West Hill's School for Boys since he was reported in the Tribune as being a school counselor and Vice Principal there, to inquire about his academic qualifications for those two jobs, and they didn't get back to me. I emailed him, too. Nothing. A college drop out that was claiming qualifications to do two jobs that usually require advance degrees in the real world, wanted to represent ME, so he could try to funnel more public money to private, charter schools that don't require their staff to actually HAVE college degrees to teach? Yeah right. People in Murray will not fall for that.

Then there is, Lee Brinton, who wanted to be out State Senator. Lee has an education, no question. He's even teaching at SLCC. So he's not a dumb guy.

But I best remember him as the science nerd at Murray High who wrote a letter to the editor at the school paper complaining that the school had spent $75 to buy the football team pizza in 1976 after we won the first state championship at Murray High since 1954! He thought it could have been better spent on lab equipment. He lost big time to, Gene Davis who has represented our gerrymandered, District 3 very well.

Lee's family business, electronic appliance repair is now a used BMW dealership. I guess if he were a REAL Republican, he'd have kept it going instead of being on the, "Government Dole" as a, "Public Employee" teaching at a Community College. But you know what they say. Those who can do, those who can't, teach...

Sorry to all my friends who teach, but it was just too good a shot to NOT take.

In two years, things will change again. And, again, there will be no blood shed, no rioting in the street, no armed rebellion. Because this is America. And we all disagree, but we have shown that for the most part, that we can do it agreeably.

Now, since the D's have two months to still ram stuff down the R's throats, can we end the tax cuts for rich people while the President can still veto an override?