Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Do's and Don'ts of The Utah Criminal Justice System

An old friend of mine called today to ask for some advice about navigating the criminal justice system in Utah. If her story is to be believed, and I DO believe it, because I've seen this kind of thing happen before, she was involved in a traffic violation four years ago, was told it was dismissed, and then ended up arrested and booked in jail this week.

Think it can't happen to you? Think again. So I'm going to use my 20 years in Law Enforcement to give you some general guideline's to keep you from losing your mind, your money, and your dignity if you should happen to end up getting arrested. Even if you don't think you should be.

I'm not going to number them 1 to 10, because I don't want you to think any advice I'm going to give you is more or less important than anything else I tell you. It's all important.

For what ever reason you are being arrested, it is your fault. Even if you think the Cop is out of his mind, even if you think you are not/have not done anything wrong for what ever reason, you have attracted the attention of Law Enforcement. Your day in Court to present your side of the story will come weeks, maybe months later. The injuries you will receive for resisting arrest will be right NOW, and they will hurt for a long time. Pepper spray hurts, and even if you are proven right in court next year, the hurt you got right now is something you will never forget.

The guy or gal arresting you is carrying a gun, a taser, pepper spray, maybe a baton. They have a partner close buy and rest assured, they know the number where they can call as many Cops as they need to beat you to just this side of dead. And even if your right, you will still end up in jail, and jail sucks. So when they say you are under arrest, just say, "Alright, Officer" and put your hands behind your head, or your back or where ever they tell you to. It's OK to THINK, "I'm going to beat this rap in court and you're going to look like an asshole when I do, Copper!" Just keep it to yourself, and your life will be much easier. Do not commit, what those of us who worked the street, used to call, "Contempt of Cop" by being a smart ass. You will end up picking asphalt out of your clothing.

As a side note, I carried a collapsible baton for the last four years of my career. Never hit anyone with it, but it was well worth the $140 I paid for it. Because every time someone came at me like they wanted to fight, and I pulled that sucker out, and it, "CLICKED" into place with a sound like a .12 gauge shotgun racking, they always decided they didn't want to fight any more.

I once heard two SLCPD Officers talking about arresting a drunk guy in the jail booking area, and one said to the other, "You know, I'm convinced that the drunks only feel the baton TOMORROW! It doesn't have any effect while they're drunk." True story. Pepper spray and tasers work RIGHT NOW!

If you get a ticket or a summons, pay it or show up in court. It's that simple. And when you talk to someone at a court who tells you it's all taken care of, you should like my friend did, and this will save her ass, document who you talked to, get some paperwork and KEEP it! If you don't have a safe deposit box, get one of those home fire safes and use it.

Keep your address current on your drivers license, and keep it with you at all times. I know, you don't feel like you should be required to keep, "your papers" with you all the time or give the Cops your name for no reason. Well, according to The Constitution, you're right. But in real life, if you have done something to attract the attention of Law Enforcement, THEY are going to be able to articulate a reason they stopped and talked to you, and why they think they needed that information. You ever watch, "COPS"? Other than run FROM the Cops in the trailer park, most of the folks the Cops chase down didn't do anything illegal in FRONT of the Cops. But the Cops still chase them down and book them, right? Don't let this be you.

The one exception to this is in a traffic stop. If you have been pulled over, and you got your ticket, and the Cop says to you, "Do you mind if I search your car?" You should politely ask, "Officer/Trooper/Deputy (never call a UHP Trooper or Sheriff's Deputy, "Officer". They will know you're a dumb ass and try to find some reason to deal with you) are we done here? Am I free to go?". And if they say yes you are, then tell them no. And drive off. Even if you have nothing to hide, you have ever right to assert you're Fourth Amendment Rights. So do so.

Once you're in handcuffs, for what ever reason. whether you think you are rightly there or not, be on your best behavior, because your next stop is jail, and jail is an awful place.

Most people would tell you that the worst place in the world is Prison. Not so. It's jail. By the time someone has gotten to Prison, they have been to trial, probably been locked up for months. They have kicked their drug habit, cleaned themselves up, and are resigned to their fate. Not in jail.

Jail is where the homeless, drunk, drug addled, criminal and mentally ill START their road to where ever they are going to end up. And the beginning of that road is ugly. They may be wet because they pissed themselves, have been living under a tree, fell in a puddle, who knows. But they generally stink. They are probably drunk or high. And the staff of Correctional Officers at the jail has to deal with all of them. This may lead to some less than professional behavior at some times. But if you spend that much time in the shallow end of the human gene pool, you need to have a coping mechanism. Most use humor. If they didn't, they might have their heads explode. It's not an excuse for the way you are about to be treated, but it does explain it.

Also, if you're in your 50's and getting booked, the jail staff will NEVER believe you have never been in jail before. They can probably tell by looking at you that you don't really BELONG there, but they will be so cynical, that they think EVERYONE being booked has been there before. Don't take it personally.

Just an aside here, but I've been in jails and prisons all over the country. I used to take the extraditions that no one else wanted because I got paid for 12 hours a day that was spent mostly in a car or an airplane, got to have good meals paid for (even though a whole DAY of Per Diem would be worth ONE good steak in Chicago, and you went without the OTHER meals, or paid for them yourself, it was worth it) and I got to keep the airline miles.

They ALL smell the same. They all look the same. The inmates are all the same. And if you ever watch, "Inside American Jail", which is mostly in Las Vegas, I've been there a million times, it hasn't changed. If you are lucky enough to be booked into the Salt Lake County Adult Detention Center, you are getting booked into one of the cleanest, nicest jail's in the country. You could do worse.

All that being said, you are about to be groped, and manhandled. You will be searched well. you will feel violated. Sorry, you're in jail. Live with it. And they will cut out any jewelry you can't/won't remove. That ring you can't get off since you've been wearing it for 20 years? Thread and Cornhusker's lotion will get if off, trust me. I've seen it happen.

And since the booking staff at the jail sees the worst humanity has to offer, day in and day out, just try to be on your best behavior. If you don't know what to do, or what's going to happen, my best advice to you is to start every question you have with, "Excuse me, Officer. I've never been in jail before. Can you tell me..." and this might keep you out of trouble.

Oh, and don't ask for bottled water in the jail. The other inmates will know you've never been there before and take advantage of you. And the Officers will think you are out of your mind.

If you have to stay and don't get bailed or, "OR'd" (released on your Own Recognisance) just remember to, "do your own time". Meaning don't ask any one why they are in there, and don't tell them why you are.

When you are released, do what they told you to do! Go to court! And keep any piece of paper anyone hands you, for any reason. It might keep you out of jail later.

And if you get arrested for a DUI, don't hire a lawyer who's famous for defending murderer's (sorry, Ron Yengich if this hurts your business). Hire a lawyer who SPECIALIZES in DUI's!

Don't swat flys with a cannon. If you're accused of murder, call Yengich or my friend, Greg Skordas (801-531-7444 I SHOULD charge advertising on this blog!). But for minor stuff, go with a lawyer who handles THAT stuff.

Hell, I have a buddy from the Police Academy who quit law enforcement and went to law school. He was the Mesa, Arizona city attorney for a while. Now he's in private practice only taking "BUI" cases down there. Boating Under The Influence is a tiny niche, but he does it well.

So, get the right attorney.

And if you get convicted, for crying out loud do what they tell you! Pay the fine, show up at probation, complete the DUI/anger managment course, what ever! Just do it.

I hope this helps. If you have questions, email me. I'll be happy to give advice. But only on the basis that if I tell you that you're screwed, you listen to your attorney, OK?

Michelle Bachman Scares Me.

I saw a clip (shared it on Facebook) from CNN tonight of a speech that Congresswoman, and Tea Party Caucus leader, Michelle Bachman R-Minnesota gave a few days ago. It was truly disturbing to see what this woman does NOT know about the history of this country.

I passed all my classes in high school, I have a college degree. I love to read history, but I have to admit that there is a lot I don't know, or remember, about the history of this country. I'll admit that until I went to Lexington last summer and stood on Battle Green, where the fight for my country began, that I did not realize that the British Army had been an occupying force in Boston for 5 years!

Paul Revere wasn't telling the world that the British were, HERE. Like they had just shown up. He was telling them that they, the British had finally gotten word that the Colonists were storing their guns and ammo in Lexington and Concord, and they finally decided to come and take it away from them! I didn't know that whole story until I was, comfortably in my 50's.

I had relatives on both sides of the Civil War. It's what happens when your family is from West Virginia. Got a, "Great" a couple of times, Grandfather, Tobias Ray Stickley buried in the Indian Mound Cemetery in Romney, West Virginia and his stone says, "First Virginia Calvary, Stonewall Division", and just below that, "CSA". Confederate States Of America. He wore gray in that war. He was wounded in the first battle of Bull Run, fighting for, Stonewall Jackson. Another West Virginian who fought for the south, and sat out the rest of the war in West Virginia. You can talk about States Rights, but this war was about Slavery, and it's the only way we ended Slavery in this country. Sad but true.

I have cousins who grew up in a big house in Burlington, West Virginia that was built so long ago, it had a Slave quarters upstairs. Accessible only from a stairway outside the kitchen. No other direct access to the house. Shared a balcony with the attic access for the white folks. I know a little about Slavery.

Two years ago I took my family to Ellis Island and the Statue of Liberty. Only then did I learn that if you were in First or Second Class of the ship from Europe, you didn't have to go to Ellis Island You got dropped off in New York City with a nice, "Have a Nice Day" and you were sent on your way.

If you were rich enough to afford those tickets, well you got in. No questions asked. Color/race/religion/country of origin/skills or not. Didn't matter.

THIRD Class? Known as, "Steerage"? Not so fast. You were going to Ellis Island.

Once there, if you were a pregnant woman, you were put in quarantine until you had the baby and then, if you didn't have a husband here, who came in in first or second class, with a skill, you were sent back home!

Everyone who came into Ellis Island was made to walk up a stairway that made you make six turns. That was so the Immigration Officers, all at the top of the staircase, could see if you had a limp or a back problem. We don't need no, "Gimps" in our country!

Ellis Island was a sieve to catch poor people and send them home to Europe. Sitting right under the big, green, lady with the book open to the part about, "Send me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses, yearning to breath free..."

I guess the rest of the quote would be, "Just make sure they some money in their pockets and a skill we can use and don't have a limp. Or you just take them the fuck home!"

Any Mexicans reading this will find it familiar. No?

So, to get back to Representative Bachman. I watched her going on and on about how no matter what your skin color, race, nation of origin, religion, once you set foot on American soil, you were treated equally, right from the moment you got here. And how the Founding Fathers, (even the ones who owned slaves, like Jefferson and Washington, whom she seems to have forgotten about )fought tirelessly, or was it tooth and nail? To abolish Slavery right from the word, "go"!

In, Jefferson's case it might have been penis to vagina combat, based on what has come to light lately. His Black descendant's, I mean.

Either way, she is WAY off! The Founding Fathers made their living because of Slavery. Prior to machinery, cotton, hemp, tobacco and corn were a very labor intensive way to make a living. The labor force was small. the Indians weren't interested, what with having to make a living on less and less of THEIR own land. So it was Slavery or NOTHING!

Until 1860, when all, "heck" broke lose and 300K to 600K (depending on which history book you read) Americans killed each other for the next four years. Oh, and a PRESIDENT! The one who freed the slaves.

No "Founding Fathers" died that year. They were all comfortably dead, since they had signed on to the declaration of war in 1776. And they ALL had Slaves!

So, Michelle Bachman, United States Representative from Minnesota, you are wrong about equality being bestowed upon you the minute you arrived. You are wrong about the color not having an effect )short of, Chrispus Attucks were there any Black people in American History who just kind of, "showed up" without being brought over forcibly in slave ships?). You are wrong about everything. You are a perfect example of the Tea Party Movement. And I hope they keep putting you on TV to represent them.

I admit I don't know it all when it comes to history. But I'm not in Congress! Nor am I asked to make impromptu speeches that will be shown around the world on the Internet and other places, to show that your political party is right. Boy you must feel stupid. Or, I bet you don't. You don't have the capacity to feel stupid.

if Sara Palin makes, Coco The Gorilla seem well spoken? Michelle Bachman makes me and expert in American History.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Slow News/Political Day, So I'm Bogging About Guns Again.

I finally got to take the new Model 1911 .45 ACP to the gun range today. And boy, did I learn some SHIT!

First of all, I learned why my Department would NEVER, ever let us carry that gun as a sidearm. It does NOT fire double action! You have to pull the hammer back, all the way on this gun! And then? After that, it pulls itself back when you fire it! Right up until you run out of bullets, and then it stops, as it should, and you load another magazine and start over.

So, with the grip safety on the gun, and the other safety's defeated, when you had the hammer all the way back, and you were ready to fire in, "COP Mode", meaning as soon as you had to pull it out of the holster, this beautiful, but dangerous bastard, could go off at the slightest bump, and blow a hole in your leg!

Now, I'm not a neophyte when it comes to handguns. I've been around them my whole life. I even sold them for a while while in college (Does anyone in SLC remember the Zinik's Sporting Goods Store in Fashion Place Mall? It was part of, Zales Corporation that sold you your sporting goods and your diamonds!). I know how to work all the early Smith and Wesson 9 mm.'s which were some of the first, "auto pistols" offered to the general public. And I always thought I knew about the Browning .45 ACP. Today I learned what I didn't know.

I loaded the big, stainless, heavy fucker up, and the hammer is back. It shot great. I put the hammer up, and it shot, NOT! So, now I know why the Cops I saw with one, had it, "cocked". That's how it works. They must have been military men prior to 1981 when it was replaced by the Beretta, so they knew.

There is a safety that will hold that hammer back, and I intend to become familiar with it. As I like this gun.

I blew 50 rounds through it at about 10 yards and they all went through, center body mass, head shots, neck shots, hip shots, right where I wanted them. No, I didn't start shooting at 3 yards and move out to 25 with X amount of round at each spot.

I don't have to do that any more. I'm worried about defending myself across a room, or on a soccer field when the pissed off parent is right in my face. The .45 lived up to expectations.

As it did at long range, too. I took one of the small targets, and ran it all the way to the end of the range. I think it was probably 50 yards, but could have been 100. Shot all 8 rounds at the little target. There was evidence that four bullets had at least made acquaintance with that piece of paper. None of them could be called, "on target".

But this just reinforces my feeling that handguns are for close quarters combat. If some guy wants to shoot me from a block away, not only am I not going to know it, I won't be able to defend myself against it.

And since I'm not a doctor who performs abortions, or a politician, I'm not worried.

But, maybe Politician's should be after last week.

And maybe, bloggers should too. After all, I disagree with everyone on the Right Wing, and I have a place to publish. How far are the Neo-Con's going to go to stifle speech against them? Shooting bloggers? Not out of the question.

Good thing I can shoot back!

The .45 was hard to put back together as opposed to a Glock or a Smith. But now that I did? It's a much BIGGER bang for the buck. So now I have the Glock AND the .45, AND the .357 all ready to defend myself against the Tyranny of the RIGHT wing! Not to mention the shotgun, the OTHER shotgun, the .22 pistol and rifle and a couple of others I can pull out of my ass, or other places.

Maybe it's time to buy an assault rifle to defend myself from the Tyranny of the MINORITY!

Just kidding. I'll continue to defend myself from Tyranny at the Ballot Box, like a TRUE, REAL, AMERICAN. Sarah Pailin sucks.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

CONCEALED. What It Means.

On Saturday, my son had a futsol game a couple of blocks from my old office. The Probation and Parole Office isn't in the best part of the valley.

As I drove my son to the former roller skating rink, next to the Traxx stop, we passed the 7-11 across from the baseball park. As usual, there were a couple of drunks fighting in the grass on the east side of the store. The Cops, looked like the Gang Task Force or maybe, JCAT (Joint Criminal Apprehension Team run by the US Marshall's) were doing a, "Felony Stop" on a car at the gas pumps. Just business as usual in this neighborhood.

They were playing a team from the east side, around the University, so in the parking lot there were two Porsche Cheyenne's, one Targa, a Volvo and my Audi. And as we got out of the car to go inside, the folks walking by on the sidewalk were a show of some sort. "Wal-Martian's" from the Wal Mart just a block away, the mentally ill, folks going to and from the Traxx stop. It was pretty interesting.

Once inside the boys ended up losing, but they always play this team close, and it always, almost comes to blows. But it didn't. And outside, the same show was going on when we went to leave that was going on when we walked in.

Always seems to be close to chaos in some of the questionable areas of the valley, but so far, nothing has happened.

Took my son to Crown Burger for lunch with his coach and his son because Danny wanted a cheeseburger. He got there and ordered a grilled cheese sandwich. WTF? I could have had lunch at La Frontera if you weren't GOING to order the cheeseburger!

Teenagers.

When we get home, I am in my bedroom, taking off my zipper hoodie, talking to my wife who's back was bothering her, which is why she didn't go to the game, and my son comes in and sees the, "Bigassed" stainless steal, .45 ACP model 1911 in the shoulder holster and says to me, "You had that on at my game! I had no idea you were wearing a gun!"

And his mother said, "That's the idea."

This is why we should have CONCEALED carry permits. If you feel you have to have a gun with you, as I do in a lot of the valley based on the job I did for 20+ years, and you CONCEAL it, you don't make people nervous. You don't upset them, and you don't scare them.

And at a University, you don't intimidate them when you should be able to express any and ALL ideas.

If, as that moron in the Legislature, Carl Wimmer would like it, everyone in Utah could carry their guns openly, or concealed without the benefit of a permit, would that make for a better place to live? I have to say no.

Now, if you're up in the mountains or out in the desert, camping or hunting? Go ahead. Wear them all out in the open. You will make the Fish And Game Cops much more relaxed when they come and talk to you and check your license. But in town? This is NOT Dodge City, circa 1870.

For, Carl who didn't go to college? "Circa" means, "around that time". Not being specific. Just in case he reads this. Which I doubt.

So, if we can come to an accommodation here on the whole gun thing? You Conservatives would like everyone to wear their gun, out in the open, all the time. Us Liberals, who went to college, would be happy if people who were not currently Police Officers, had to at least pass a test showing they knew how to use, and when to use deadly force to protect yourself or others from the threat of death or serious bodily injury. And then the State gave them permission to do so. And even when you are wearing it, you have to keep it CONCEALED so as to not piss people off.

Well, I guess that won't happen. But I will tell you this. In EVERY situation where I think I need to have a gun, I want it concealed. I don't want the, Bad Guy to know where my gun is.

If I'm about to get car jacked, robbed or punched in the face by some soccer mom from the east side that can't stand it when her kid loses to Murray boys, or shot by some guy from the west side who's pissed because I put his brother in jail 15 years ago even if I don't remember him, and they come at me swinging a knife, or waving a pistol, I don't want them to know from where I'm going to hurt them.

I might pull a gun out of my ass, or my boots, but rest assured, it will NEVER, EVER be from a holster you can see, on my right hip. Because that would give THEM the advantage. And I don't want that. I want to pull a .38 out of the back of my shirt collar and ask them, as they get too close to me, "Where do you want it?" right before I shoot them in the head. Or where ever they WANT it. I'm OK with requests.

So, CONCEALED is always the best way to carry a gun, unless you are a uniformed Law Enforcement Officer. And Carl Wimmer USED to be one. Why doesn't he know this? Maybe because he was so bad at it, he never got the chance to retire as a Law Enforcement Officer?

Look, if you want Utah to be Dodge City, go ahead and go with Wimmer. We could all pack openly. But if you want to live in a CIVILIZED society, you might want to make people who aren't Cop's get a permit to carry a gun around. Prove they know how to use it, and you might make them cover the fucker up in polite company. Is that too much to ask?

I think not.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Shit My Son's, Dad Says...

Reading the Tribune the last few days, I've been informed that we here in Utah, have the worst air in the country. That local officials, even the COP'S for crying out loud, have been raiding the public coffers. We spend less money to educate our children than any other state in the country, and national chains of restaurant's won't locate here, bringing new jobs, because they can't get a liquor license.

There are some nut's who think that every Utahan should be able to mint his own gold and silver money, and it will be guarded by a currently non-existent state Militia. We should repeal the health care reform passed last year because it's always better to have Lot's more poor people who can't afford insurance, than to lessen the burden on all of us and have everyone insured.

Well, with the Legislature about to start this years session, and with such a full plate including redistricting, what issue have our esteemed Legislators set their sights on, to tackle first and foremost?

The University Of Utah would, please, like you to cover your gun while on campus.

Yikes! That's UNAMERICAN! And probably, SOCIALIST! We need to FORCE them to change their policy, right now!

Oh, what a load of BULLSHIT! Any one with a CCW Permit can already take their gun onto the campus. They forced and won that issue years ago. But in the spirit of being an academic institution, where freedom of thought is valued, and debate is important, is it too much to ask that you COVER your gun? I think not. The Legislature is proving a point to the University, that THEY are in charge. Even though they aren't the SMARTEST dog in this fight, by, God (guns and guts) they are the most POWERFUL, because they control the budget.

If you run a, "House Of Worship" you can post a sign that says you don't want me to bring my gun into it. That's legal. And if you are a Private School, even a, "University" you can tell CCW Permit holders, that they can't bring their gun onto YOUR campus. We all know who I'm talking about here people, do I have to spell it out for you? B-Y-U (But Your Uneducated) can ban your gun. The University Of Utah can't.

You best just keep YOUR mouth shut, Utah State! You might want to go to conference that still plays football one day, and you missed your chance last summer trying to keep the Legislature happy by not, "dissing" , You Know Who and staying in the WAC, just for them. How'd that work out for you? Not so good? I thought so.

So now, as The University Of Utah (The UNIVERSITY, IN Utah) makes plans to join 11 other internationally recognized, academically and athletically, elite Universities (Colorado? Not so much on the athletic part, but they could come around), with their history of Pulitzer Prize Winners, Nobel Laureates, award winning scholars, and graduates. Our Legislature is determined to show the world that we are still, Dodge City, circa 1870 with dirt streets and a cowboy on every corner with a pistol on his belt. And to quote, Townes Van Zant, "He wore his gun outside his vest, for all the honest world to fear."

How DUMB are these people? Carl Wimmer? You're an idiot! Let me tell you how tough it is to buy and carry a gun around with you in this town. And why, in a civilized society, especially a UNIVERSITY, which you, I'm pretty sure, have never attended, discourse, and the open exchange of ideas is what learning is all about. And why it's hard to have an open conversation with a person you disagree with, while that person is carrying, in plain sight, a GUN!

For the record, I just checked, Carl's web site. He makes no bones about it, that he didn't have the smarts to go to college. Under the, "Meet Carl" part of his web page it says, "He doesn't have the privilege of boasting an expensive degree from an established University..." Lets break that down, shall we?

"Privilege". Education is a privilege? Like someone closed a gate on him? He could have applied to any college in the state, and probably have gotten in. Even at the JC level. Education isn't a privilege, it's something you have to work for, but it's not a privilege. He was just too lazy to get one.

"Boasting". So if I run against you, and happened to mention in my campaign literature that I have, "An expensive Degree" from an, "Established University", I'm a braggart? I can't tell everyone I'm better educated than you, or I'm somehow being an elitist? Well then GOOD, I want the smart people in office! Not morons like you!

Now lets address the gun part of the problem that you seem to want to make such a big deal.

Since you don't know what they are for, I'll tell you. Universities are there to educate people by teaching them to critically think. To question not only authority, but the status quo. Religion, science, engineering, math. Question them ALL! THAT'S how you LEARN! Not all of your questions are answered. That's what makes some people scientists instead of Priests!

At the Law Schools, learn the Constitution, then question how it's interpreted. At the Medical Schools, question treatment of EVERY disease until you find something that works! Don't just take the known for an answer. Explore the unknown! What might work BETTER to treat Cancer, or Diabetes? Is Terry Vs. Ohio REALLY the best way, Constitutionally, to rule on how Cop's approach and search people?

For the record, I think, "The Terry Frisk" ruling is great. I'm just saying... When you're TEACHING IT? Explain why it's great.

Now, in a classroom where the Professor, or the person you are debating, disagreeing with, arguing with, is openly carrying a gun. How hard are you going to argue for YOUR side? I have a theory that this would NARROW the debate a bit. Maybe not lead to the TOTALLY open exchange of ideas and emotions. Don't you think?

And I would also have to argue, that in the relatively safe environs of a University, even taking into account the Texas Tower Shooting, and Virginia Tech, would having your gun UNDER your shirt, as opposed to on our hip where it might really bother someone, make any difference? As a former Cop, I'm telling you right here and now, NO! It would not if you are good with your gun.

If Carl has had all the training he claims to have had, he's gone through the, Calibre Press Street Survivor training. I've done it four times, and was asked by them to set one up in SLC, which I did and for that I got myself and five of my friends into the whole three days for free.

He would know that carrying your gun outside your clothing is nothing more than making a statement. You're showing you're the bad ass in the room. Great at a, Sarah Palin rally. Not so good at a University.

But since he never went to one, I can't expect him to know this. We can only hope that some of the Republicans who DID get an education will talk to him, in a private room, and tell him to put down his hard on, er handgun for people who are smarter than him, and let it go. Leave the University Of Utah alone, and let them set their own firearms policy.

Now, let me address, again, buying guns in Utah. For a long time I wanted a .45 ACP, 1911, had nothing to do with what happened on Saturday, so I've been looking for a year. But after Saturday, I might just carry a little more often.

I walked into Galleson's on Monday afternoon and spend an hour or so talking to a knowledgeable gun guy about what I wanted and what was available and he was really helpful. I won't mention his name so he doesn't get in trouble for selling a gun to a Liberal, but he was awesome. And when I found the one I wanted, and the ammo I wanted with it, it was pretty easy to walk out of there with the gun.

I had a valid ID, a current CCW Permit and a Platinum Credit Card. I was gone in a few minutes.

The problem with this is that the same thing happened in Arizona at a Sportsman's Warehouse a few weeks ago. The guy had a credit card that was good. A valid ID, and in Arizona, you don't NEED a CCW Permit to CCW! Any one can. And Arizona was behind on it's background checks.

Problem is? This guy wouldn't have shown up on background checks. He had no felonies, he was never declared, "mentally ill" by anyone. He was able to buy a Glock 19 semi-automatic handgun with an extended magazine that held 30 shells.

I worked in Law Enforcement for 20+ years, the biggest magazine I EVER had was 15. And at one point I carried one in the gun and two back ups. That would have been a hell of a gun fight!

This guy can buy a 30 round magazine? Why? Who needs that?

Crazy people who want to shoot Congresswomen and others, that's who!

We do need some gun control in this country. Some sensible control of the ability to kill a lot of people in a short time. Not the ability to defend yourself or your house or your family. But 30 rounds? Really? That's just wrong.

I'm going to bed with my new .45 under my pillow now. Some of you know I'm kidding. Some of you don't. Even those who know me well, don't know if I'm kidding.

I'm kidding about, under the pillow. Guns are cold.

But if someone breaks into my house, the second LOUD noise they hear after my dog barking, will not be in their best interest.

And it won't take 30 rounds. Trust me.

Monday, January 10, 2011

I Cut Myself With A Gun. WTF?

I was half kidding about needing another gun when I was blogging last night. "Blogarrhea", as Katie Daryl would call it on her show on HDNET. But the fact is, I've been thinking about buying a .45 ACP, Model 1911 for some time just because it's an historical gun.

When I was a kid, every time you got an, "Army" set of some kind, it had a plastic model of that gun in it. The big machine gun by, Marx had that as it's side arm. All your green Army men who weren't holding rifles were holding 1911's. It's just so much of a part of our history. So I didn't need one that was in fact a Colt, or used in a war, I just wanted one.

Some people collect coins. Some stamps. I'm starting to collect performance cars and handguns. I have a big gun safe, and will eventually need a bigger garage. But the truth be known? There are coins and stamps that cost a LOT more than my recent handgun purchases. Today's was less than $800 WITH a lot of ammo!

I saw a beautiful, Colt 1911 at a local shop last week. Brand new, and a model of the ones issued to U.S. Soldiers in WWI. It was really pretty, even stamped with, "PROPERTY US GOVERNMENT" on the side. A great reproduction. It was $1000. And, I'm sure, worth every penny.

But it was blue. And you wouldn't want to CARRY this thing. You would rub the blue off. It would be something you would shoot a couple of times a year. I didn't want this. I want something I can use.

So, off to, Gallenson's! The last REAL gun shop in town. I won't tell you the salesman's name, to protect him from selling a gun to a Liberal. But he was very helpful. Walked me through all the possible guns I wanted, and then, brought out the one I liked the best. A Springfield Armory, five inch bbl. with a 7 shot mag (just like the military one. It's actually called the, "Mil-Spec" package) and it was STAINLESS! BONUS! You can't rub off the STAINLESS!

Yeah, it's made in Brazil. Not what I would prefer, but a lot better than what THAT meant in the 70's when I was selling guns in, Zinik's Sporting Goods in the mall. South American guns were junk, and they had no US distributors. So if this gun is junk? I gotta a guy in Illinois who's going to take the heat for it.

Feels good in the hand. Came with a holster, and a mag holster, a cleaning brush, two magazines, wood AND rubber grips and all the tools you will need to work on this thing. I fell in love with it, and bought it. Yeah, I used the Visa card so, Deb was happy that we are getting airline miles for it, and I'll pay it off next week so I don't pay interest.

This thing is SO big, and scary looking, that if I ever pulled it on someone, and they didn't just shit their pants, and give up the fight, I would be really surprised. This is one, "bigassed" handgun.

So, I bring it home, and I pull it all out on the dinning room table and start reading the owners manual. I know guns, but I don't know THIS one, so I'm reading. Turns out, if I'm leaving the house for a while, it has an internal locking system that I can activate with just a tool in the case it came in, and the gun will NOT load or fire! I like THIS!

But the instructions on how to take it apart so you can clean it are vague. Talking about using an Alan wrench to take something off, that it appears this gun doesn't have. Confusing.

So I set it aside for an hour or so, and then go back, and read it again, and look at the gun. I figured it out. The instruction manual was wrong. Very confusing. You had to ignore it to take the gun apart to clean it. I'll email Springfield Armory and tell them this. But I bet they don't listen.

I take it apart, and eventually put it back together. So I am now confident that I can do that when I shoot it and need to clean it.

I put it back in the case, and set it next to the stairs to take it to the gun safe when I go downstairs. Then the football game starts, and my friend, Phil comes over to watch it with me. I show him the gun, and the neat holster it came with. And as I try to pull the gun out of the tight fitting holster, and eventually do, I slice off the end of my left, little finger with the razor sharp front sight of the gun.

It's bleeding like crazy. I CUT myself with a gun? Can I SHOOT myself with a pocket knife? Because if I can? I'm in trouble! I have a NASTY serrated edge pocket knife I've been carrying since 1994. How do I unload it!

Cutting myself with a gun is as dumb as jumping out a window and falling UP! It's as stupid as taking a Snowboard to Alta!

I can figure out how to take the thing apart, and shoot it, but it still cut me up? This gun might be evil!

Now, many hours later, the bandage on my finger is STILL getting redder. Hope it stops by morning. I'd hate to bleed out with a little finger injury!

Oh, I forgot the moral of the story. I bought another handgun, in about 15 minutes after I decided which one I wanted. And there was plenty of ammo for it. I had ID, and a concealed weapon permit. I don't really think I should have one under every cushion in the house. I'm not that paranoid. But if you think you should shoot MY Democratic Congressman/woman or State Legislator/Senator, you best think again. I'm going to show up at their meetings, armed. And I've spent more than 20 years learning to shoot tactically, and not kill the guy next to you, even if you need to die.

So, if you live in Utah, and you think you want to shoot a Liberal? Bring your, "A" game, but rest assured that if I'm there? You're, "A" game isn't as good as mine after more than 20 years of practice in Law Enforcement.

Oh, and by the way. Could someone, or EVERYONE Please tell the Murray Fire Department how to put a flag at, "half mast"! You don't just run it up HALF WAY! Morons!

You run the flag ALL the way to the top. Then you lower it until the TOP reaches where the BOTTOM usually is!

This week the display is SO poor, that it's worse than BURNING the FLAG!

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Guns. Nothing Else, Just, "Guns".

When I was growing up, my dad had guns. We're from West Virginia. Hunting was part of the culture. There and when we moved to Utah when I was very young.

Every fall, I remember the smell of, Hoppe's gun solvent in the house as dad got ready for Pheasant, and then Deer season. That smell still means, "Fall" to me.

One year, on a Saturday morning I was playing Little League Football, and after the game, my mom and one of the other kids dad's came to me and said, "Your dad's been shot, and he's at Cottonwood Hospital. We think he's going to be OK." You think? Thanks for that information. I remember crying like crazy. I thought my dad was going to die, because in the 60's, if you got, "SHOT" on TV, you died!

Never mind that my dad was Pheasant hunting that morning, instead of watching his son play football. That's a WHOLE nother blog about, "Daddy Issues". Just ask my, mom.

Guns are a part, inextricable part, of my life. I grew up with them. And even though I didn't intend it to happen, when I finally found a career? It was all ABOUT guns!

The last 18 years of my professional life, I carried a gun to work every day of my life. And most of the time off of work, I had one too! Just because I was living in the area of the valley that I spent 10 years of my life, putting people in jail. They would recognize me, but I might not recognize THEM! So I had to be ready for anything.

Now? When my son plays soccer in West Valley/Magna I always carry a gun. Even bought a special one with a laser sight so I could hope to fend off a fight just by, "lighting" someone up and not having to actually shoot them.

I don't like, "game" meat, so I don't hunt any more. I'm not anti-hunting. I just agree with, Ron White, "It's early and cold and I don't want to get up..."

I've gotten rid of my long rifle, but kept the .22 pump and a couple of shotguns.

I thought I had all the guns I needed. But after yesterday in Arizona? I'm not so sure. I might have to buy a few more, and spend more time with the kids, teaching them to shoot on a range.

After all, I'm a Liberal. And it seems that in this country right now, that's enough to get you and your whole family shot! And I BLOG! So everyone knows what I think!

Wow. Has it come this far? Are we that screwed up in this country? And to tell the truth, it's NOT the LIBERALS who are doing this. It's the, "NeoCon's". The Tea Party nuts who want to shoot people they don't agree with. Like the, "Black Guy" who's the President.

Racist, Nut balls.

So, since I'm a Liberal (Which means I'm smarter then YOU if you're a Republican, of ANY ilk) I'm going to buy some more guns tomorrow, and some more ammo. So YOU can't shoot ME in the head.

Guns are cool.

Republicans? Not so much.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Legislation, by Assasination. It's the Right Wing Way.

Don't like the killing of, "Babies"? Shoot the doctor. Don't like the decision of the Court that sides with The Constitution (which you believe to be, "divinely inspired") shoot the Judge.

Lose the last election, worried about NOT taking your country back? Shoot the Congresswoman who WON the election!

Simple. If you don't believe what I believe, and don't want to make everyone else believe it? Then I will kill you. Second Amendment Solutions. We have the guns, even if we don't have the votes, so we'll just shoot you if you don't agree with us.

Rush says it's OK. Sharon Angle says it's OK. Glenn Beck says that if you don't believe like he does, you're a Nazi, so it's OK to kill you. After all, he's the guy who tells the truth about how Republican's were the REAL leaders in civil rights.

Bullshit.

I used to work with a lot of these people. I hate to say it, but many of the folks that were supposed to be social workers first, and Cops second, were in fact, just dumb asses. More worried about keeping their guns than anything else. I just can't figure it out.

The dumbest guy I worked with was named, Darren. He was so stupid, that if he jumped out a window, he would have fallen UP. He had an office next to me for my last few years before I could get the hell out of Corrections.

He would show up about ten in the morning, and spend ALL day talking on his office phone about hunting deer in Southern Utah, or Elk someplace. But he NEVER took a work call. He was a, "Gun Nut".

He actually told me one time that, "The Democrats are proposing the outlaw of all center fire ammunition!" I asked him, "Where did you see this? Is there an Internet sight I can confirm this with? After all, I'm a Democrat, and it's news to me."

He said, "It's TRUE! I read it on the Internet!" I shit you not. He said that.

These are the people I had to work with for the last few years of my career in what WAS a good law enforcement agency for a while.

These people need to be put into camps for stupid people, out in the West Desert. Their voting rights revoked, and they get to KEEP their guns. And we should check back on them in a few years and see whats left.

Hopefully, it will be real quiet out there. Proving that, Darwin was right.

I'm not saying the Left Wing can't attract nuts, too. But OUR nuts tend to NOT shoot people. Just talking about how someone is SO evil they should be shot, is a FAR cry from actually SHOOTING PEOPLE!

In light of this, I intend to buy ANOTHER gun on Monday. So I always have one near me when the, "Witch" from Delaware, or, Sharon Angle decides I need to be taken out because I'm a Liberal.

Someone with an education and the ability to use it. I'M the DANGEROUS one in America? Who knew?

Friday, January 7, 2011

Monetize? Really?

I got talked into doing this, blogging, I mean, by a friend. Who said I expressed myself so passionately, about issues that were important. My first response was, "Who Care's what I think?"

Still is.

But now I have a few people who read this. Very few. And I'm wondering? Should I Monetize? And if I did, what would it mean?

I have a former friend, who thinks herself an author, even though no one has read her book. I guess that if I, "Monetized" I could call myself a, "Political Blogger" even if no one bought advertising on my page.

Oh, wait. I DO call myself a Political Blogger. And a sports blogger as well, and no one buys time on my blog.

I've sent email to places asking for information, using this as my address, and calling myself a, "Political Blogger" and been shut out of information. So I guess this makes me a REAL political blogger, but without the clout of being in the Huffington Post (I LOVE you, Arianna! Talk to me, you Greek Goddess! I LOVE YOU!).

So, that being said. Has anyone reading this, besides, Barb Guy who gets paid for her opinion in the Tribune, ever thought about monetizing your blog? Or have you? And if so, what was the result?

Just curious.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Lazy Sunday

This is it, isn't it? You have to start all your new years resolutions tomorrow. No more excuses. Eat right, quit drinking/smoking/watching porno on the work computer. What ever you promised yourself and your God, Monday morning, you have to live with it. The last weekend of the holiday season is over.

Well, I'll tell you how I spent mine. I slept until 10, just because I thought it was the right thing to do. Then I got up, ate some cereal so I could take my pills that make me sleepy but are clearing up the mess that is my lungs right now and read the paper. Then having taken said pills, went back to bed for two hours. And there wasn't much interesting in the paper anyway.

The dog it appears felt much like I did today, and she joined me on the bed for the two hours. But she's 10. And now after a life time spent being described as a, "Meth Lab" instead of a, "Black Lab" because she was so hyper, she's mellowed a lot.

I had the radio on, listening to KRCL. I love the, "Sunday Sage Brush Serenade", have since I was in college. It's where I hear the stuff I love. If it weren't for this show, I wouldn't have gotten to meet, Jerry Jeff Walker, and, Robert Earl Keen (literally meet them, not just get to know their music) but today, who ever was filling in for, Phil was playing some pretty, "angsty" shit. I think it was a 15 year old girl. So it was easy to drift off to sleep to.

I only left the house twice. Once to throw the paper in the recycle bin, and once to get the satellite radio out of the garage and bring it into the house at 2 o'clock.

I woke up about one, took a LONG, HOT shower, didn't bother to shave today, put on some pajama pants, a t shirt and spent the next several hours reading the Trib, City Weekly, The Week and Wendell Potter's book, "Deadly Spin" while listening to music. If you don't know who Wendell Potter is, or what his book is about, and you don't have health insurance, you should find out.

My wife fixed us a wonderful pot roast for dinner and it was great to have dinner with the family.

She went to our bedroom to listen to books on tape, my son to the basement to play video games with his buddies on line, my daughter to her room and her computer, and I watched, Top Gear in the living room with my neighbor while enjoying a bourbon or two. That's a pretty good way to spend the last day before you have to quit eating/drinking garbage, start running every morning and give up cigars, fast cars and handguns.

Yeah. Like that's gonna happen! Good luck with your resolutions. I have a pretty good idea how I'm going to do with mine, since there is still whiskey in the house, and it's too freakin' cold to go for a walk and there are still Bowl Games on TV all week!