Friday, April 29, 2011

April 29, 2001 And It's STILL Snowing In The Salt Lake Valley? WTF?

We DID have a, "Dog Day" Friday today in the back yard. But it was cold, and the weather was shitty. Spring Time in the Rockies used to be OVER by MAY. Now? Not so much.

Today I have seen hail, snow, snow grains, rain, sunshine, and everything but the sunshine was blowing sideways at some point!

We were in the, "Garage Mahal" to get out of the wind, but opened the back garage door so the dogs could come and go and we could toss tennis balls out for them. But after we'd been out there for about a half an hour, it got cold. I had to go split some kindling so we could light a fire in the wood stove. It made all the difference in the wold.

At one point, my old, "Meth Lab" was so close to the stove I had to move her because I was afraid she would start to singe her hair. Burning dog hair stinks almost as bad as dog farts.

When the guys and the dogs left, I came in and built a fire in the fireplace so I could watch the Redwings game in warmth. And, Deb made an observation that I think was correct. She said, "You made a fire? I don't think you've ever made a fire THIS late in April." That's probably true. This has been the coldest spring I can remember.

One week from right now, I will be sleeping in a condo on, "Playa Norta" on, Isla Mujeres. It should be 85 degrees. Because it's ALWAYS 85 degrees on Isla Mujeres. And I've been there twice before, so I speak as someone who knows. Once in January, once in June. Always, always, 85. Every freakin' day. Trust me. I can't wait. "The Blind Lady" and I NEED this. It's been a long winter with no trip to the tropics for the first time in about six years.

The reason for that is another story, but not another blog. Not yet. It's not about money, or time off.

So when we are sitting in the bar/restaurant at the, Nautibeach Condo's next Friday night, listening to singer/songwriters from Texas do their songs, and enjoying the sea smell and breeze and some, "boat drinks" I will forget all about the snow, and cold. And I hope that by the time we get back, we will have spring in Utah. But I'm not holding my breath.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Failure To Supervise. The Worst Thing You Can Say To A PO

This morning's Tribune had an article about the State being sued because an AP&P Agent, (or probably SEVERAL of them, with the turn over, over THERE) failed to keep an eye on a Parolee who was convicted several times of being a swindler, and had done it again, to the tune of millions of dollars.

I'm not going to repeat the details here, you can see it in the paper on line if you missed it and feel that I'm not being honest with you. The name of the blog is, "TRUTHstick" after all, so I'm big on telling the truth.

I have to say, that after being retired for five years, and hearing what I'm hearing from my friends who still work there, I'm not surprised.

I had lunch yesterday with a great friend, and former partner at AP&P (who shall remain nameless because he's one of the finest human beings I have had the privilege to know, and I don't want him to get in trouble for telling the truth. We don't agree on much politically, but he's always been an HONEST Republican) who was telling me that the new guys think this is a, "day job". That you just show up and do your paperwork, and you don't have to be out at night, or hit the streets to supervise probationers and parolees.

And another former partner tells me the same thing but indirectly. I'll call her up and see if she wants to go to lunch and she's working in the field that afternoon, because her partner has a family and doesn't want to work nights. WTF? Really?

When both, Deb and I were doing it, and our daughter, who turned 23 today, by the way, was little, we would have to coordinate our schedule so that one of us was at home every night. Sometimes it wasn't possible, so thank heaven for Grandma.

You HAD to work nights! It's when violations happened. If you think about it, who are you going to find at home during the day? Well, if you're doing your job and your, "bandits" are working, and going to therapy, or in residential treatment programs, they won't BE home during the day! They will be at work! You hope. And even if they are NOT working, they won't be home smoking dope and drinking during the day, because I'll have them out looking for jobs and doing a record of it so I can call all the places they say they applied, and confirm what they were doing all day. It's simple stuff.

I never met a bad guy with a holster, or a good guy without one, and there is no GOOD reason to be out of your house late at night if you have to work and take care of a family. That should be chiseled in stone some place. Some place high up on a mountain.

The week I retired, Dorian and I had to book one of her probationers into jail in the middle of the afternoon. I think the woman had turned herself in, so it wasn't an arrest we made out in the field. One of the nurses at the jail at the time is a friend. Her husband is one of my cigar buddies. When she came out to check out our prisoner, she took one look at me and said, "What are you doing here? You AP&P guys are vampires! You only work at night." At the time, that was a true story.

Many years ago, when I was still working Probation, I got the opportunity to work in the Intensive Supervision Program (ISP). This was, at the time, the group of Agents who could handle even the worst situations. It was in the early 90's, AP&P Agents hadn't been Peace Officers for very long at that time, and we still had people in the office who took the job in the 70's and 80's who were social workers and would not, under any circumstances, become Cops. They HAD a gun, but might not be sure where the bullets were, and they didn't wear it. It was in their desk. It was a different time.

ISP was started with a Federal Grant, and the idea was that you would only take the worst of the worst. People that shouldn't BE on probation, but probably in prison, and give them one more chance to turn their life around with a LOT of supervision.

The average probationer/parolee would have to report to the office once a month, the first week of the month, and would be seen at their home once every 30 to 90 days, depending on the level of supervision our matrix said they deserved. On ISP they had to report every other week for drug testing, and they would be seen face to face at least six times a month. That meant a LOT of time in the field. There were only five agents and instead of between 50 and 100 cases, depending on your caseload management skills, that the other Agents had, you had no more than 25 cases. So you got to know them well. And you spent at LEAST two or three nights a week in the field.

And you had to work on weekends. There was always at least one team out on Saturday night and Sunday morning every weekend. Saturday night, you catch them drinking. Sunday morning, you catch them hung over and still blowing a .10 in the Intoxolizer from the night before.

As, Jimmy Buffett says, "There's a fine line between Saturday night, and Sunday morning". Amen.

One year, our supervisor decided that we were ALL going to work on New Year's Eve since everyone on ISP had a, "No Alcohol" clause on their probation agreement. That went over like a fart in church with my wife, who wanted to go out. We were still young then. We don't go out on New Year's Eve any more.

You know how many violation arrests we made that night? NONE! The crooks figured we'd be out, and they were all home by curfew, with their family's, watching, "New Year's Rockin' Eve" and staying out of trouble. But I was out NOT partying until one in the morning.

And with Parolees the standards are even higher! The last embezzler I had was a guy who took New York Life for more than a million dollars writing fake policy's. He was a good Mormon guy, in the Stake Presidency, drove a Porsche, lived in Little Cottonwood Canyon. Upstanding citizen. And a crook.

This guy probably should have been put on probation to work and pay back the company he ripped off. But New York Life didn't see it that way. I think they are big enough that the million dollars wasn't the issue, and they wrote to the Judge to ask for restitution (which they never really expected to get) and prison time, which they hoped would send a message. So with no previous arrest record, and not crime of violence, this guy spent five years in the joint. Cost him his wife, his house, and his Porsche.

Then, he gets ME as a PO. I made this sucker bring in his phone bill every month so I could make sure he didn't have the money in an off shore account somewhere. This was way before the Internet was common and cell phones were the only way we talked to each other. One call to the Cayman Islands, and I'd have put him back in prison and had the Attorney General seize his assets.

So, I'm thinking the game has been changed, and not for the better. Kind of sounds like the folks that SHOULD be out at night, and on weekends, and chasing bandits and kicking in doors are just putting on their guns in the morning, and wearing them while sitting at their desks all day. And that saddens me.

The worst thing anyone ever said to me was when a friend I've known for ever said to me that she knew I didn't retire because of my, "Shitty little social worker job" but because my dad left me money. Well, I DID retire because my dad left me money. But my job was anything but a shitty, little, socal worker job. I changed AP&P, and I put my life on the line for 20 years to do it.

I was a part of changing AP&P from a Social Work Agency, to a Law Enforcement Agency, who also did (had to do!) social work. Because both parts of the job are equal. You work for the Department of CORRECTIONS because you DO believe that people can change, and you want to help them do it. If you didn't believe in the social work side of it? You would work for the Department of Locking You Up And Throwing Away The Key.

But you also had to go out, and arrest guys who were committing new crimes and not paying back their victims, and not working, and not doing therapy. That works better than having to call someone else to do that part of the job. Utah was on the cutting edge of this with probation and parole.

When I started, I got a 9mm pistol and a holster, a set of handcuffs, a belt badge and had to check out a car once a week to do my, home visits.

By the time I retired, I had been part of the movement that had us wearing gun belts, extra magazines, batons, pepper spray, tazers, and shirts that said, "POLICE" on the back. Oh, and bullet, "resistant" vests! They didn't hand THOSE out when I started. By the time I was done, everyone was issued one, and it was custom fit.

But as a field training officer (FTO) I always reminded the new guys that the state bought them from the lowest bidder, so they should be careful anyway.

So, if AP&P has reverted to being desk jockeys with guns, I'm truly disappointed. I hope the Agent or Agents who supervised this latest swindler have documented their efforts to do so. If they haven't? Oh boy. You'll be out of a job, lose your retirement, and your POST Certification. And it won't be pretty if you tell them you did it because you didn't want to actually go out, get dirty, and spend a couple of nights a week in West Valley and Magna's trailer parks, and Herriman's, "Starter Mansions" (My buddy and I used to call, Herriman/Riverton/Bluffdale, "Misdemeanor Hell" because everyone out there was on probation for a felony that had been plea bargained down to a misdemeanor, was white, rich, and Mormon, and thought they were too important to be bothered with probation. So they would do dumb stuff like not answer the door when we showed up, or complain that we shouldn't wear the, "POLICE" jackets and gun belts when we came to THEIR house, because the neighbors would SEE it! It was THE toughest assignment I ever had to deal with). Law Enforcement is a 24/7/365 job. If you can't do the time, don't take the job.

I'll be real interested to see how this works out.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

It's Been A Long Week. I Hope To Have This Video As A Weekend.

Have you ever had one of those weeks? Where shit just doesn't go well. Well I did. Enjoy this video.

It's That Time Of The Year, Again

Spring time in the Rockies. You gotta love it. Since the new hospital opened a few years ago, some things have changed down here by the river in Murray.

When the helicopters go over the house moving east/west it's just, Life Flight. When they go over going north/south? More than once. Or a lot? One of two things have happend. In the spring time, like now it USUALLY means someone or someones kid, has fallen in the river. And it's not going to end well.

But ALL year, it COULD be that the Cops are looking for someone who is hiding on the Parkway.

That happened just a few minutes ago. So I'm sitting at my computer table with a loaded, Ruger .357 Magnum, stainless steel pistol sitting on it. The dog has not barked, so I'm pretty sure there is no one outside MY house, but I'd rather be ready than sorry.

And now, we have the threat of floods. Well, WE don't. We live on the high side of the river. In the 500 year flood plane. My friends on the West side of the Jordan River? Not so much. They could get clobbered. They live in the 100 year flood plane.

I remember it flooding in 1983. Admittedly, not 100 years ago. But still it was not good. The property that is now Taylorsville's Dog Park was under water and it was then the home of KRSP radio and it's directional antennas. They were in water, too.

Today, at this house I saw snow, rain, snow grains, hail, sunshine, snow grains blowing sideways. At one point this afternoon, I went out to put a yogurt container in the recycle can in complete sunshine with no wind. By the time I went back in the house and walked to the back of it to let the dog out, we had dark clouds and blowing snow!

It's spring time in the Rockies! If you don't like the weather? Stick around for five minutes and it will change for you.

Snowbird Ski Resort got two feet of snow last night. Putting them at 690 inches for the year. A new record. That's less than a half hour drive from my house, here next to the river, at the lowest point in the valley. About, 4K feet above sea level.

I'm sure my relatives in West Virginia are now having a problem with their state being, "The Mountain State" since the highest point in the whole state is not 4K feet ASL (Above Sea Level. What did you think I meant?).

The noises have stopped outside. The helicopters are gone. I think I can put, "The Hand Cannon" away, back in the gun safe, and just go to bed.

But, I'm glad I stayed up to watch the playoffs.

Next week could be a problem. "The Blind Lady I Live With" grew up around, San Jose and even though she doesn't give a flying fuck at a rolling donut about hockey, and sat through WAY too many games I played in when we were dating and first married, and has even bought me tickets to see my Redwings on the road for birthday presents. She will STILL hope, "HER", "Sharkies" beat my, Redwings. And so it goes.

A week from now, we will both be sitting on a beach, Playa Norta, on Isla Mujeres. Taking in the sun, reading a book and drinking pina coladas two for one when they ring the bell at the bar at 3 o'clock every afternoon.

I'll check the hockey scores on line. Because I just can't help myself. But three nights of Texas singer/songwriters, and the sun and time that we spend doing what the hell ever we want instead of what we HAVE to do? It's going to be priceless.

Hope it doesn't flood here. But if it does? Both kids can swim. And grandma sitll lives WAY above the river, and I know she'll take them and the dog in. And the neighbors dog, too.

Spring time in the Rockies. What a trip.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Why Don't People In The Medical Profession LIsten? Even To Themselves?

A few years ago, my son had to have his appendix out. I was on my way home from Las Vegas attending a Utah Football game, somewhere in central Utah when my cell phone rang with the news. I couldn't do anything but keep driving, but at least I knew.

My wife had called her sister who is an RN, and, Sandy told her to take Danny to the hospital because it sounded like an appendicitis. So she did.

At IMC here in Murray they took x-rays, did an examination and concluded that he was having an appendicitis, confirming my sister in laws diagnosis. And refused to treat him. He was not 18, so they made, Deb take him to, Primary Children's Hospital up by the, "U".

I've never had an appendicitis, but I have it on good sources I believe, that it hurts like hell. My good source is my son.

So, my daughter drives them up to Primary. Where, despite every thing they have heard, and information they have been shared by IMC, they decide to take another x-ray. I'm in the room now.

The doctor as much as told us that the x-ray wouldn't be any more conclusive than the one taken at IMC, but they had to do it anyway. X-ray's don't really help in appendicitis cases because a problem or blockage can just look like, "poop". So to be sure they need to do a CAT Scan. But they will do an x-ray for now.

Danny is still in pain when they come back into the room and tell us the x-ray was not conclusive, because it just looked like, "poop". So they would need to do a CAT Scan.

No, "shit"?

You told us this would happen, and it has. My son is still in pain, and now you have been able to bill my insurance for a bunch of stuff you knew wouldn't help, but you rest assured they won't question and will just pay, haven't you?

Long story short, they take out his appendix in about 20 minutes, and he has to spend four days in the hospital to recover. After he spent ALL DAY Sunday in pain despite the fact that the first doctor who saw him knew what was wrong, and could have made it better, but since it wasn't life threatening he milked it for all he could.

This is, "The Best Health Care System In The World"? I think not.

And I was reminded of this today when I took my wife into IMC (why do I keep going to these people!?) for tests. I won't go into detail, but she's not been well for a while, and they can't figure out why, and it's eitehr going to be cancer or some curable gastrointestinal problem, but we won't know which one for a while.

We have been here a lot lately. Several trips to the hospital or THEIR doctors offices or clinics in the last few months. Same questions, same forms to fill out, it's like none of IHC's computers talk to each other or have memory. It's a pain in the ass.

When we go into the room to have the barium injected, we both tell the guy who is about to do this (I don't know if he's a nurse, a PA, a doctor, he didn't tell us, but he doesn't listen) that Deb's veins are REALLY hard to find. That the best solution, the one THEY used a few weeks ago, in this very department of the hospital, was to bring in a portable ultrasound machine, and find a vein.

So how does he treat this information? He looks. And looks. And tries to insert a needle. And it doesn't work. So he gets hot blankets to put on her arms. Asks her if she has had any water this morning. Takes the blanket off. Looks again. Nothing.

I'm reading a magazine. I know they aren't going to do this, meaning take their own advice from a week ago, and get the ultrasound, but I don't keep harping at them. I just read the magazine.

He then has a second guy come in from some other department. He has every bit as much luck as the first guy. We're in this about 20 minutes now. And neither one of these ass clowns in white coats has made any progress.

Do they call for the ultrasound machine? Oh, hell no. They call in another guy.

I learned something in 20+ years in law enforcement, and seeing lots of people in lots of bad situations. If you REALLY need to find a vein in a hurry, there are two kinds of people you can call. Paramedic's and junkies. If one of those isn't handy? Use the ultrasound machine.

After totally incompetent guy number 3 has been at it for a few minutes, he turns to his colleagues and says, and I shit you not, "You know? I think we might need to use an ultrasound machine to find a vein on her. Would one of you guys call them and have them come up here?".

You all know, I don't suffer fools gladly. I've gotten better as I've gotten older, but I still can't stand to be TOO close to stupid without saying SOMETHING, so I said to him, "REALLY! A half an hour after we TOLD you that you would need an ultrasound machine to find a vein, you've reached THAT conclusion?"

He didn't say anything.

Two minutes later, the ultrasound lady is in the room, finds a vein in less than a minute and has the deed done, painlessly, according to, Deb. Why don't they listen?

I had this reinforced later today. I got new glasses two weeks ago. Very stylish. I was quite happy with them. But, they were a little tight, so I had to back and have them adjusted a couple of times. And I had a hard time reading with them. Couldn't see the WHOLE page of the paper, or a magazine. Figured it was just me, and I'd get used to them.

No, I came to the conclusion late last night while reading, that they were just not right. So back to the eye doctor today. The same woman who sold them to me told me she could adjust them. She tried, but it didn't work. So later today, I had to go back again, and find someone smarter and tell them that this wasn't working out, and I needed new frames and lenses so I didn't have to read with my nose pointed to the ceiling.

Two weeks ago, I picked some frames I liked, but I was worried they might not be big enough.

I'm a big guy. Any one who knows me, knows this. I have a HUGE, melon. I wear a size 7 3/4 fitted hat. There was only ONE hockey helmet made at the time that could be adjusted to fit my head when I worked in a hockey shop in college.

I put them on and asked the, as it turns out, incompetent, or lazy, or stupid woman who was helping me, "These are not very big. Will they fit me and accommodate a tri-focal lens?" And she said, "Oh, sure!"

Again, a total incompetent in a while lab coat DIDN'T LISTEN!

So because of that, I have spent the last two weeks getting a headache every time I try to read a newspaper or a magazine. Now I have to wait another week to get the NEW, new glasses.

I am convinced that as soon as you put on a white lab coat, you're ears are only painted on. Because they don't work.

I have a headache from using my old glasses to use the computer, so I think I'm going to go to bed. But the, "tech" at the place where I got my CPAP machine to deal with my sleep apnea said that even though the mask is blowing off my face every night once I fall asleep, everything is alright, and it's just the way I'm putting in on.

I hope she was right. I haven't slept in 3 days. But at least she wasn't wearing a lab coat when she adjusted the straps.

How tough could it be to learn to speak Swedish between now and when my retirement insurance runs out in June while Chris Buttars gets his for life?

Friday, April 15, 2011

Tax Day. I Don't Care Who You Are, You Didn't Write The Checks I Did today

I'm a patriotic American. I don't mind paying my taxes. In fact, I'd be happy to pay more of them if we could have a national health care plan. But I wrote checks for a LOT of money today. And it's not even my fault.

When my father died in 2006 I inherited his IRA. There was about $250K in it at the time. And I was thinking, "Great!", I can't touch it for 12 years until I'm 59, and it will just grow and grow.

That's not how this works. If your father is older than 59 when he dies, you have to start taking money out and spending it, or moving it to a taxable account when you inherit it. Didn't know that.

And my broker, who SHOULD have told me about this didn't ask me about it until just before Christmas last year. FOUR years after dad died.

Now I have a problem. I can shut the hell up, and hope the IRS never audits me. Start taking it out THIS year and just hope no one notices. The draw back to this plan is that if they DO audit me, and find out about it, and then find out that I KNEW OR SHOULD HAVE KNOWN about the problem, I'm going to have to pay the back taxes, AND a penalty. Which some quick figuring by my new accountant, put at about $10K.

23 years on law enforcement led me to believe that this was NOT the best course of action. As I used to tell my parolees, "If you tell me about the screw up, and it's not a new Felony, I'll work with you. If I have to find out about it and you lie? Your new address is Draper. Again."

So, I had my new accountant refile my 2007 and 2008 tax returns, and paid the IRS what I owed them, and the penalty which I have to send in, and then ask them nicely to please give me back the penalty money since I narced myself off, and paid the taxes I would have paid if I'd gotten better advice from my broker and my former accountant.

My accountant says that most of the time, in a situation like this, the IRS DOES give the penalty money back. But it's not required. So I wait. Maybe all summer.

Which is what I waited a few years ago to get back more than $2000 in OVERPAYMENT because my last accountant forgot that he told me to pay almost $600 a quarter that year, and had actually provided me payment slips to send with the payments, and then calculated my tax like I hadn't paid it. That's the reason I have a new accountant.

So, no matter what you paid today? I'd trade you payments. I wrote a check for $1550.00 to my accountant for doing this years taxes and redoing my taxes from 2007 and 2008. $1962.00 to the Fed's for this year. $1539.00 to the State of Utah, for this year. And to make things right for 2007 and 2008 (for some reason, the Fed's didn't require this payment in 2009. I have no idea why, but I'm glad) a check for $5699.00. So today, I wrote checks for $9211.00. I don't want to hear you bitching about what taxes cost YOU this year.

To cover this, I had to sell a technology stock that had made 150% gain in the last year. My broker said he thought it had about maxed out, and it was time anyway, so it was OK. No, it's not OK. If you guys had told me about the payments I SHOULD have been making years ago, I wouldn't be in this mess,and I'd still own a technology stock that had THE POTENTIAL TO EARN 150% PROFIT IN A YEAR! GODDAMNIT!

Any one out there know a broker who will manage a half a million dollar portfolio for three quarters of one percent each year? If so, I'm interested. Give me a call.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Ying, Yang, And The Politics Of Oil

I took the fire breathing, 406 bhp, bright orange with black rally stripes, SS Camaro to Costco for gas today. Pulled up right behind a guy in a Smartcar. You gotta love this country. We can talk about class warfare later, and we will, but he asked about my car, and I asked about his, and we had a nice conversation.

I don't see myself driving a Smartcar. I like to go fast, and zero to sixty in more time than I have left on the planet doesn't appeal to me. But I do see the need for such a vehicle. We saw LOTS of them on the streets of Paris the first time we went. Gas over there is WAY more expensive than it is here. Always has been.

And, no matter what the price per gallon, we still need to get around. And very few American cities have the kind of public transportation that will allow you to live in them and not NEED a car.

That being said, don't buy a Camaro if it's the only car you are going to be able to own. Especially in Utah.

There is no room in it for anything but the two front seat passengers, so it's impractical for most Mormon family's. OK, I CAN get two teenage soccer players in the back, but it's getting tighter as they get older.

You have to put the back seat down to put two sets of golf clubs and your walking carts in the car. You can't put the cooler on wheels you use for Red Butte Garden concerts in the trunk. It's not deep enough.

You can't really travel in it. It doesn't have a spare tire. Just a pump and a can of, "tire goo" in the trunk. And if you drove this thing to Denver or St. George? It might just shake your teeth out. It's a muscle car, not a touring car. I have a touring car, and I know the difference.

What's the difference between a MUSCLE car and a TOURING car? About ten thousand dollars! Rim shot here, please.

And I won't even talk about what it MIGHT be like to drive this car in the snow. I say, might because I've had it a year, and I won't do it.

My car has 406 bhp (Google, "Break Horse Power" for a full explanation of what this means. I'm not going to get all, "Top Gear" on you and try to explain it. Just trust me, it means that when you step on the gas, a WHOLE lot of power goes right to the rear wheels. Does not pass go, does not collect $200. And if you turn off the traction control, and don't know what you're doing, you will go sideways faster than, Mitt Romney talking about public health care reform and Gay marriage) speed rated, summer only, Pirelli PZero tires and the rear tires are wider than the front ones. This is a recipe for disaster in the snow. Besides. I don't like to get it dirty.

The guy I pulled in behind asked about my tank capacity, and I told him it was 18 gallons. He said his was 8 gallons. I think my lawn mower holds that.

I anticipated his next question and headed him off at the pass. "Don't ask me what I get, mileage wise. I have no idea. You don't buy this car if you have to worry about that. Just know it's not my, daily driver." He shook his head like a man who knows.

All that being said. The sombitch if FUN to drive! And I do it as often as possible.

This afternoon, I paid, $3.77 a gallon for premium gas ($3.78 if you count the 9/10 tax). At COSTCO! I just got a FB message from a friend, in the oil business no less, who said he has to pay $4.49 a gallon in California.

So I asked him, since we get ALL our oil here in the intermountain west from pipelines that run from eastern Utah, and we don't use ANY foreign oil, why our price goes up like the rest of the world no matter what is happening?

He just laughed at me. It's price gouging, pure and simple. The international market controls the local prices. If we could grow coffee in southern Utah and get it cheap, the price would still go up if the crop failed in South America.

Last fall, at a tailgate party, I was discussing gas prices with a friend of mine. A right wing, Republican, hard core, Christian, friend of mine. A guy who watches the news. He reads newspapers. He's not uninformed. But he does have some blinders on when it comes to politics.

I'd still take a bullet for him, I love him like a brother. But when it comes to political stuff? He's kind of only hearing what he wants to hear.

He was really upset that the Obama Administration had stopped any new drilling offshore, and how this was going to raise our gas prices here. After all, as he said, after, Hurricane Katrina, when we couldn't get gas from pipelines in the gulf, the prices shot through the roof! We should, drill, baby, drill, etc...

I said to him, "You do know that all the oil we use here in the Mountain West comes from eastern Utah, western Colorado, and southwest Wyoming, don't you? That there are no pipelines from the gulf, or the coast that bring crude oil to the refinery's in North Salt Lake? That our refinery's in Utah TRUCK gasoline to Boise and Las Vegas, and that there are plans in the works for a gasoline pipeline from Woods Cross to Las Vegas so they don't have to TRUCK it, right? You do know we don't use ANY foreign oil here in Utah, but our prices go up because of your, "invisible hand of he market place" right?"

He didn't believe me. Despite the oil pipeline failure that filled Liberty Park's pond with oil from eastern Utah. He thought we got Arab oil.

And it had to be the, environmentalist's fault that prices went up. Nope.

Republicans are Republicans, even when they are NOT rich, because they believe that if we don't tax or bother the rich, they might share with us. They might, "trickle down" that wealth.

Democrats are Democrats because we work for a living, and pay attention.

My Camaro is a toy. I worked my whole life for it. If you work for a living and you can't afford one? You shouldn't be voting for Republicans.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Politics, As Usual

So Wimmer blames the President for the budget impasse. Who does this nut cake from out in, Glenbeckistan, think he is? He didn't go to college, he's dumber than a box of rocks, and he obviously doesn't know anything about history. Yet he's on the front page of this mornings, Tribune.

The R's in Congress want to put the whole Government on hold because they are pissed off about Planned Parenthood. Yep. That's the reason we're in debt. Not the two needless wars started by the Bush Administration so his buddies in the oil business could take back the oil infrastructure they lost when Saddam Hussein nationalized the oil business in Iraq when he took control.

Teachers unions are bankrupting the states? Really? It's not that the rich are paying too little in tax while they don't want to pay the Cops, teachers, firefighters and others that they need to keep society functioning a living wage?

And the really bad part about all this, is the the, "sheeple" who continue to vote for Republicans, the ones without an education, who work for an hourly wage, who won't have anything to retire on, who don't have health care, who think the minimum wage is Communist Plot, even though they work for it, Who WILL benefit from Social Security and Medicare, won't vote for a Democrat because they are convinced that if we don't tax rich people, they will, "trickle down" some money which will make them rich one day, and they are worried about their GUNS!

If I believed in God, I'd have to say, "Jesus Christ! Protect us from people who only buy books at, Costco and watch Faux News! Lord save us from the dumb! Because they seem to be in charge right now!"

Look, Republicans, let me let you in on some secrets, OK? We (the smart people) are NOT coming for your guns. I spent my life in law enforcement. I've been a shooter since I was a kid. I LOVE me some guns and have a BIG safe full of them in my basement. I even have a concealed carry permit because I sometimes have to go to parts of the valley where I spent many years putting those folks in jail and I'm afraid they might recognize me when I don't recognize them, and they would attempt to cause me or my family death or serious bodily injury. I keep it my wallet right next to my ACLU Card. I'm not making that up. I do.

Using contraception is NOT abortion. Normal people have sex. Because it's fun. Not to put a finger in God's eye. I'm a Liberal, and I'm not FOR abortion. No one is FOR abortion. Hell, I adopted my son. I'm thrilled that his birth mother decided to NOT have an abortion and allow my wife and I to adopt him. Well, except when I get his report cards. But the point is that she had a CHOICE to give him to us. Some bureaucrat in Washington didn't make her choice (remember how you're always talking about too much Government intervention into your life?), she did. And that's how I think it should be. Even if I'm not for abortion, I'm for a woman's right to choose.

For herself. Not your need to impose your choices on her. And Planned Parenthood PREVENTS a lot more abortions than it performs, by providing contraception. Would you stop people from having sex altogether unless it was for procreation? Well, you and the Catholic Church. So who do you want running this country? The Pope!?

Global climate change is a reality even if you choose not to believe the science. And if we don't do something about it, we will kill ourselves. No, there is not going to be a, "rapture" before we burn all the coal. Just accept the fact that we need to change our ways, even if you don't want to. Hell, I drive a Camaro! I love fossil fuel because it lets me drive really fast in a big ass muscle car. But even I know it won't last for ever. Can't we at least spend as much money on alternative energy sources as we do on coal and oil? What would that hurt?

I have Exxon/Mobile stock, and it's making me rich. It's one of the reasons I could retire. But if they don't start looking at providing alternative energy, I won't own them much longer cause they're gong to be WAY behind the curve here shortly.

America is the greatest country on the planet. But we are not always right. We have this, "superiority complex", since we won a few wars in a row, and it seems to make us think that anything we didn't come up with can't possibly be good. Like a national health care system.

We are not, for some reason, able to look at the great things other countries have done (hell, we can't even admit that other countries have ever done ANYTHING right) and learn from it.

Winston Churchill was vehemently opposed to the National Health Service in England after WWII. But before he died, he said his greatest political mistake was opposing it.

When the President's wife is FOR something, it doesn't mean you, as a Republican HAVE to be against it. When Laura Bush was in favor of children reading, after all she was a librarian, Democrats, as much as we hated her stupid husband, didn't come out in favor of illiteracy! Michelle Obama just wants kids to quit eating junk and have more fruit's and vegetables in their diet. It's not a Communist plot to kill the candy and potato chip industry! Lighten up.

The bottom line is that we Progressives take our direction from science and reason. You Republicans take your cues from your imaginary friend, who lives in the sky. And never the twain shall meet.

But if you keep doing it, and ignoring science and reason, and history because you vote for what you think SHOULD happen, instead of what you know, in your reptilian brain that knows truth when you see it, WILL happen? This country is, to quote, Mojo Nixon, "fucked up to the highest level of fucktivity!"

And just continuing to blame, "The Black Guy" isn't going to fly in the next election. No matter who you run, you've lost this one.

So I would advise you to not run, Pawlenty this time. Keep him for 2016. He might have a chance if you can make him a little more real person, and less Superhero like in his ads.

This time run Palin, or Bachman on the, "Batshit Crazy Ticket", or one of the Mormon's, because no one will vote for them anyway. Not now, not ever, it ain't going to happen. So at least you could say, "Hey, we TRIED!"

Now, get back to work running the country, Congress! And quit trying to appeal to the lowest common denominator.

Oh, sorry, Wimmer, I used a BIG word. I'll try not to do it again.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Red Butte Garden Now Cares More About The Money Than The Music

Deb and I went to the very first Red Butte Garden concert. I think it was in 1987. It was billed as, a night with Texas song writers. A young guy named Robert Earl Keen Jr. (he was still using the, Jr. at the time) opened the show. Townes Van Zant, now long gone was next, and Guy Clark finished out the night.

It was an intimate little setting, kind of off the path in a grassy area with a little stage. Might have been a couple of hundred people there. I think it was a Sunday night. While, Guy Clark was singing, "Home Grown Tomato's" a lady walked right up to the little stage, and set a plastic grocery bag full of tomato's on it for him. When he was done, he picked up the bag, and said, "Thanks for the mayters!" and left the stage.

As we were walking out, I literally BUMPED into Robert Earl on the path, got to say, "Excuse me! I'm a big fan by the way." He shook my hand and said, "Thank you very much." It was a laid back place.

Over the years we spent a lot of time up there, mostly Sunday nights, in the company of Nancy Griffith, Jerry Jeff Walker, John Prine, Asleep At The Wheel, John Hiatt, Emmy Lou Harris, folks like that. Even had tickets to see, Little Feat there one time, but it rained so hard, they moved the show to Kingsbury Hall. All the folks you have to listen to, Sunday Sagebrush Serenade on KRCL every week to hear.

It was THE place to see what has now come to be known as, Americana, or, Outlaw Country. Too rock and roll for country, too country for rock and roll.

I got to meet Robert Earl a few years ago before a concert at The Depot here in Salt Lake and told him about seeing him at that show years ago. He got kind of misty eyed an said, "Oh, man. I remember that. I was with Townes, and Guy! That was a great place."

Four years ago, we went to Belize for the first time for, "Camp Belize" with Jerry Jeff Walker. On the night of the, "meet and greet" where you get to have your picture taken, and autograph's signed, that kind of thing, I shook the mans hand and said, "We're Jeff and Debbie from Salt Lake City." As soon as I said that he said, "The Garden! That's as beautiful a place as I've ever played. But it's so hot! It's hard to keep the guitars in tune." He didn't say, "I remember playing, Judd's Frontier Lounge there in 1979!" But he remembered, The Garden. I told him they were changing the stage, and hoped he'd come back.

As with all things good, change comes. It evolves and grows. That isn't ALWAYS a bad thing. And much about the changes at Red Butte have been good. But it's just not, ever going to be the same.

I don't think I'll ever see Jerry Jeff Walker there again.

The list of this summer's concerts came out this week. I saw it in, The City Weekly, and there isn't one show I'm willing to pay to go see. I love Lyle Lovett, but we saw him there a year or two ago, and it was an hour long dirge. He just didn't rock the place. And it will be sold out and crowded.

I'd go to see, Toots & The Maytals, but I don't want to see the headliner. Ani DiFranco I'm not that familiar with, but I like what I HAVE heard. But I like the warm up act, Greg Brown. He's awesome. I like, Pink Martini, but probably not enough to pay a lot to see them.

K.D. Lange has a great voice and I'd like to hear it in person, but probably not enough to sit through a whole show on a Tuesday night.

I just can't get excited about this years line up. I've heard of, Cake. Didn't they do, Meet Virginia? After they did that, I'd leave. I really admire Sheryl Crow for all she has accomplished, starting out as a school teacher from Missouri. And she's one of the prettiest people on the planet. But you hear her stuff ALL DAY if you turn on a radio.

I prefer to remember, Peter Frampton with his hair. Not just a lot to move me to stand in line and buy tickets like I have before.

Oh, I know they will sell them out. They don't need me. But I'll miss the intimate, friendly setting that it used to be when you could take you kids and not worry about getting in a fist fight over a space for your blanket, and hear some music you couldn't hear any where else except a bar.

I remember reading some place, I think in, The City Weekly that the guys who opened, The State Room either did or still have something to do with booking the acts at, Red Butte. I'm glad they opened, The State Room. Now, it it just had a convertible roof, and I could bring in a picnic basket...

I WANT To Spend My Money, But No One Will Take It!

Last year, when I bought the Camaro, my wife said, "Now that you got your Muscle Car, I want something." OK, what? She said, "I want to go see, Jimmy Buffett." I said, "We go see him every year in Las Vegas?" She said, "I want to see him in Paris."

OK, fair enough. I spent a fortune on the car. I tried to buy tickets in March to a September concert, and they were sold out.

We went to Greece for two weeks with some friends instead. That should be pay off enough, as we spent some time in Paris on the way home. Not as much as we planned, but that's another blog.

So ever since then, I've been TRYING to buy tickets to see, Buffett in Paris. He's there this year in September, too.

You go to the, Maragritaville site, and it kicks you to a site that will sell you a ticket but it's in French. As it should be. But even with my limited knowlage of French, it's not THAT hard to negotiate. And yet, it won't take my money! It tells me tickets are available, but won't sell them to me! I don't get it.

And if you go to Ticketmaster, they won't sell you tickets outside of the US. They say. But they lie, because they deal in tickets in Canada for everyone!

But when you ask the web site about tickets in Paris for Jimmy Buffett, it tells me, where I live, "There are no tickets available for your request in Utah or Montana". No shit? My REQUEST was in Paris, France! Not in Utah or Montana.

And for the life of me, I can't figure out why they connect Utah and Montana? Utah and Colorado? OK. Even Utah and Nevada, Wyoming, or Arizona would be OK. But Montana? That's a stretch.

No one goes to New Mexico for ANY reason, so that's why I didn't include THAT boarder state.

So if anyone I know who lives in the Murray area speaks French, please contact me, and come over and help me buy tickets to take the, "Blind Lady" to, "see" Buffett in Paris this year. I'll buy you a drink. Hell, I'll buy you lunch. Just send me an email.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Pacific Athletic Association

I got in the mail today, my 2011 Utah Football information booklet. In the lower, right hand corner is the PAC 12 logo. Almost cried. I never thought we would see the day. But there it is. It's in print. And on the football field, too.

No more trips to Laramie in November. No more freezing in Ft. Collins while being threatened with death and serious bodily injury by a bunch of drunken students from the, "Cow College". I won't have to sit in an almost empty stadium in San Diego and listen to them play crowd noise over their speakers.

And, if possible, I give even LESS of a shit about what is going on in Provo. I might read an article about that football team if the Utes have a bad year and end up in the Kraft Foods Fight Hunger Bowl and have to play them when they beat six of the Division II schools they will play every year. But in the whole of the college sports world, they have rendered themselves totally irrelevant. I hope they enjoyed this year, because it's the last one where they will get any national attention.

Every year, my college football team will start the year shooting for a BCS Bowl Game. And we don't even have to go undefeated to have a SHOT at one! We just have to win OUR conference and we're going to the Rose Bowl!

Admittedly, the BCS system sucks. And last weeks revelations about what really goes on with these, "big time" bowl games could, and should lead to the downfall of the whole shitty system and a playoff in college football. But while it lasts, we'll be happy to take all the, swell, MONEY! And games on national TV.

Real NATIONAL TV. Not BYUTV.

And aside from the sports aspect, it validates us as one of America's great Universities. Yeah, I know, the league has Arizona State in it, so I'm not going to get too high on that horse. But still, we wouldn't have gotten in if places like Cal and Stanford hadn't accepted us as part of the team. So our Nobel Laureates and famous alumni are now part of a better group of people. Sounds pompous? Yeah, I know. Screw you, I went to a PAC 12 school, bitches! Deal.

All kidding around aside, it does say something about our standards at Utah, vs. THE standard in Utah. I just read a blog by a buddy of mine, named, Kevin who has recently gone back to school to finish an education that he started long ago. And he was complaining, rightly so, about the stuff that we DON'T teach in school in Utah. Even at the college level, he's going back to SLCC, you have to pussyfoot around evolution and human sexuality. WTF?

Despite the fact that evolution is THE basis for everything we know and do in the medical and science fields in this country. That it has been proven again and again to be right. You can't talk about it because some religious nut, who doesn't know the definition of the word, "Theory" and would be offended because it goes against the, "teachings" of his, imaginary friend in the sky, might get their panties in a knot?

This is why BYU didn't get accepted to the PAC 12, and why the Big 12 wouldn't have taken Baylor if Ann Richards hadn't been Governor of Texas.

My friend's observance that not everything was on the table for discussion, even at an institution of HIGHER learning, made me glad that my University was not going to have to be constrained by that. That free discussion of ideas was still alive and kicking in the State of Utah.

Just under 5 months Until football season. Can't wait.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Springtime In The Rockies

Yesterday, spent the day driving around in the 400 bhp, rear wheel drive, summer only, speed rated PZero performance tire equiped, "Bitchin" Camaro" with the windows down.

This morning, 8 inches of snow on the patio. Welcome to spring time in the Rockies. If you don't like the weather, stick around for five minutes, it will change for you!

Yesterday it was 71 degrees in the afternoon. Today, when I went out to fire up the woodstove in the, "Man Cave" for the Sunday afternoon cigar smoke, it was 40 degrees.

At verious times today it was cloudy, snowing, sleeting, sunny, hailing and any combination of all of the above depending on where you were standing, or which way you were looking.

It was possible today for the dogs to make a yellow hole in the snow, and for the people to go snowblind walking into the house to get another ice cube. You gotta love it here this time of year.

Tomorrow, I'm just going to sleep through the morning. It will still be wet outside. And then, come down here, pay bills on line and hope that by the afternoon, the snow has melted off the roads and I can drive to the Credit Union and not get my car dirty.

One of these days, when my son is out of high school, I'm going to find a place in some warm climet to spend my time between the end of the college bowl games, and the start of May. Belize, Mexico, Tucson, Florida, hell even Mesquite, Neveada is much better than it was a few years ago when my dad tried it. And I WILL pay what it takes to play golf. I'm not as cheap as he was.

Before the back sugery, the abdominal hernia, the two knee surgery's and all the other problems that a life of playing football, soccer, ice hockey, and chasing bandits and kicking in dooes cause, I used to love winter here. Skiing was awesome.

Now it would kill me. I like a beach more than a mountain covered in snow.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Daniel Stickley Will Score Goals For Food

Saturday morning at 0800 hours, my son's soccer team had a scrimmage with the boy's U18 team from Murray. Of course him and his two buddies who slept in the basement last night, slept through their alarms, and at eight o'clock, he's frantically waking me to drive them to Willow Pond Park so they won't be late.

Which as a good father, I rolled out of bed, put some clothes on, and did. Then I came back home and went back to sleep. I did NOT retire to get up at 0800 on a Saturday morning!

But the second scrimmage, at 1000 hours was the interesting one. They were going up against the girls a couple of years older than them. They have been doing this for years, since they were about ten years old. And there are enough older sister, younger brother combo's in these games that the girls will give the boys no quarter. They beat on their own younger brothers, and all their brother's friends that they know. And there is still enough of a size difference, the girls are all a foot taller than the boys, that these are really close contests.

This morning, the game was tied. Near the end, his coach had pulled, Danny out to give him a break. He was pretty gassed. I was really giving my son a hard time for ALMOST getting beaten down the side line by a pretty girl in a Justin Bieber t-shirt who was a foot taller than him, when he asked if I'd take him and a couple of his buddies out to breakfast at Village Inn after they were done.

I fell for this last week. I took him, two of his teammates and Deb and I to the VI and you know how teenagers can eat. Cost me $65! I had a Garden Skillet and a glass of water, so do the math.

I told him I'd be happy to take them out for burgers for lunch. Hell, Crown Burger, In N Out Burger, either one wouldn't be THAT much money.

But he was persistent. Whiny, maybe? So I told him, "OK, if Frank puts you back in, and you score a goal, I'll take you all out for breakfast."

This isn't going to happen in a million years. He likes to play full back, or mid back in Franks system. He CAN score, but he prefers to be a defender, and that's where he plays.

He says, OK, and Frank puts him back in at mid back. I think I'm safe. Fat chance.

About two minutes after he goes back in, he strips the ball from one of the tall girls, and instead of passing forward, he starts to run up the right side of the field. Beats another of the girls, and turns on the afterburners, blows past a couple of the older guys who have stuck around to help the girls, undresses the goalie and deposits the ball in the net. Turns around, points at me and hollars, "You owe me BREAKFAST!"

This morning, his mother didn't come with me so I only had myself and the three boys. I had a skillet and an ice tea. This week my, "bet" only cost me $55! Bonus.

Never bet with teenagers when the pay off is food.

Now, when is he going to move up front and start scoring some goals?

Friday, April 1, 2011

Selling Lumber

I went to Lowe's today to buy the filter that goes in the microwave. It was $32. And they want me to replace this once a year or MORE?

But the cost wasn't what really got to me. I bought that ONE item. That's it. No light bulbs, battery's, bug spray. Nothing else. Paid with my debit card. My recipt was 21 and a quarter inches long!

They don't sell enough lumber to keep Boise Cascade in the tree planting business already, they have to make every receipt longer than the box the product you bought comes in?

At least a fourth of that space was devoted to telling me that although they admit no guilt, they had recently settled a class action law suit for selling defective drywall. And if I thought I had been wronged, I only had a month to make a claim and be eligible for from $50 to $100K in gift cards or cash.

I'm pretty sure you would have to be Ivory Homes to qualify for the $100K. That would be a LOT of drywall. But since I haven't bought drywall since before my daughter was born and I was building a nursery, I ignored it. That was 23 years ago.

But really, a 21 inch long recepit? I feel sorry for their cashiers. They must have to change the roll in their machine every third or fourth customer! "Oops! Sorry sir, this will only take a minute. OFFICE PRODUCTS TO CHECK OUT 5, PLEASE!"

I know I don't have to do this anymore, because by the time I get home, every trasaction done on my debit card is already on the bank statement on line. But I still put the debit card receipts in my wallet so I remember to write them in my checkbook. Between Lowe's and Harmon's who also puts WAY too much information on their recipts, my wallet can get thick in a week.

And speaking of checkbooks. I haven't carried one around for about 15 years and yesterday, I actually needed one! I went to the country clerk's office to renew my son's passport, and you had write a check to Fed's for THEIR part of the fees! Good thing there was a Mountain America Credit Union office in the county complex so I could get a cashier's check or I would have had to go home and come back!

I just put the Lowe's recipt on a two wheel cart and took it out to the recycle bin.