Solicitor Or Missionary. Same Thing

A solicitor is a solicitor.  Whether you're trying to sell me frozen meat, or your religion, you are still bothering me.

This morning, about ten o'clock, I'm getting ready to get in the shower so I can go watch my son play soccer.  The door bell rings.  On a Saturday morning?  That usually means one of the neighbors needs help with something, or wants to borrow a tool.  So I put on my robe, turn off the water and go answer the door.

Missionaries. Mormon Missionaries.  Like they don't already pretty much have the place locked up.

I have two, "No Solicitors" signs on the front of my house.  One on the stairs that lead up to the door, one on the door.  It's pretty hard to miss.  I would think this would let a person of average intelligence know that I don't want to be bothered.  I guess these guys are not of average intelligence.

Being my usual, cheerful, willing to suffer fools gladly, self, I said, "What the fuck are you doing bothering me?!  You can't READ?!  Did you not see the TWO, No Soliciting signs on the front of the house?"

He says, and I shit you not, "We're not solicitors.  We're, The Missionaries".  Like that makes him exempt from the social contract some how.  "The Missionaries", like you are the ONLY Missionaries in the WHOLE WORLD.

So I tell him, "Bullshit!  You are soliciting new members for your bullshit religion!  Some people ring the bell and try to sell me a vacuum cleaner, you are selling BULLSHIT!  Now go home, go to college, have sex with some girls, drink some beer, learn HOW to think, not WHAT to think!  And don't ever come back here again!"

I was pissed.  I can't believe that these idiots think that somehow, the rules do NOT apply to them.

I will say that the kid had pretty good timing.  And he was lucky.  Cause if he'd come here while I was watching the Red Wings this afternoon?  I would have shot him in the head!