My Quiet, Suburban life.

Spent last night watching the Utes, great game. Got home around 2300 hours, and was awake half the night. Slept in, thanks to my wonderful wife, and then got up around 1100 hours and had to mow the lawn since my son is back in school. Not a weird existence. I'm retired, fairly young, but my life, other than our traveling, is pretty normal. All things considered.

My friend, Phil came over with his dogs around 1500 hours, as usual on a Friday, and we tossed tennis balls to all the dogs, and listened to, satellite radio while enjoying cigars and whiskey.

When he left around 1800 hours, my wife and daughter went to pick up pizza at, Little Caesar's and I sat down in the living room to watch college football. My son was at the Murray vs. Taylorsville game (Murray won!). We ate dinner, and I was watching Arizona beat the, "dog stuff" out of, Toledo on ESPN (Everything Spoken Promotes our Network! They don't really cover ALL sports anymore) when my neighbor calls. He and his big dog skipped, "Dog Day" Friday.

He's coming over to watch football. Good! I enjoy his company. And, Deb is watching, oh, I don't know, anything BUT football in the bedroom.

He walks in with his 160 pound dog, Kora. Who is just a pussycat. He and his friend are both drunk. Not just a little drunk, but DRUNK.

They come in with the big dog and their favorite, "Hooter's Girl" who is 20 years younger than either one of them.

Turns out, they had been to, "Hooters", sucking up chicken wings, and beer for a few hours. And this nice, young, lady was their favorite waitress. She wasn't working this night, but happened to be in the store, and saw them in their sorry state, and felt compelled to drive two of her best customer's home so they didn't end up in jail for DUI.

She was 31 years old, VERY attractive, quite articulate, very respectful of my house, and the only sane one of the three of them.

I won't use her name, because I don't want her to get in trouble for trying to help out her good clients who, it appears had lost their minds.

At this point, my being able to watch the UA/Toledo game went out the widow.

She was trying to get, "Ronnie" to just shut up, and stay here with my neighbor, so they didn't have to drive anywhere. But, no he wouldn't have it. He wanted, "wings" which this nice young woman offered to go back to, "Hooters" and get for him and bring them back if he wouldn't drive.

My neighbor was just giggling in that drunken way while this argument is playing out in my living room.

I'm trying to watch football here, people!

None of them care.

Finally, "The Hooters Girl", who I now have a LOT of respect for says, "It was nice to meet you, thanks for the drink (which my drunk, neighbor made for her out of MY bottle of bourbon), but I have to go." pushes my neighbors friend out of the house while telling him, "I'm taking you HOME, not back to your car. You're drunk and can't drive!" They left. My neighbor fell asleep in my chair, "watching" the football game. I sent him home a few minutes later.

The MOST normal person in my house tonight was a, "Hooters Girl" with HUGE fake breasts, a tattoo on her back, who claims to have a father who's a right wing, Conservative, radio host who she no longer talks to because of the way he abused her and her mother (and when you first meet someone, why would you tell them that?).

Does anyone else out there on FB have THAT kind of a Friday night on a regular basis? Or is it just me? I need to know.