The Cancer. More Info, But It Needs A PG Rating. Just An Update

Went back to see the Doc today.  I was a lot sicker than I thought.  In all fairness to him, he might have told me everything he told me today, after I had surgery.  In all fairness to me, I was on DRUGS and dont' remember any of this.

The cancer I had, while not the WORST of all bladder cancers, was really aggressive.  So, this is going to take a while to deal with.

He told me that I would need six weeks of, "chemo therapy" after the second surgery, so I was prepared for that.  And they called me a few days after the second surgery to say that there was NO cancer in the samples taken from that.

So, recovered from the second surgery, and expecting to have six weeks of, "chemo", I'm almost done with this, right?

Not so fast.

After six weeks of chemo, once a week?  I get six MONTHS of chemo, once a month.  Then, "scoped" twice a year for two years and once a year for three years.

So, the cancer has moved out, but the lease is not up.  I gotta keep paying the rent.

And the chemo therapy is not really even, "chemo".  It's called, BCG treatment.  Bacillus Calmette-Guerin.  It's a bacteria that was intended as a Tuberculosis vaccine, but it didn't work for that.  It does, however, trigger an immune system response if you put it right on the spot you took the tumor off of.

Sounds easy.  Scope, drop some in, rinse and repeat, right?  No so much.

When they fill me full of this stuff, I have to do my best to hold it in my bladder for two hours!  They will send me home, so I don't have to spent two hours in the doctors office.  So I got THAT goin' for me.

He didn't say if I had to spend ONE hour standing on my head, and the OTHER hour standing up right, so we make sure every part of the bladder is given an equal exposure, so I guess that's what I'll find out in November.  Being a cancer patient is tough.

And then, since this is a LIVE bacteria, when I finally do get to pee?  I have to put two cups of chlorine bleach in my toilet and let it sit for 20 minutes before I flush it.  Every time I pee for the next SIX HOURS!  And I can't let anyone else in my house use THAT toilet!

This shit is so infectious, that it could harm my whole family, but it will CURE me?

How sick WAS I?!  AM I?! 

The really funny part of this information they give you, is that they tell you how to have sex, safely after this procedure.  They don't want to you give your partner TB.  God forbid.

Let me tell you something, guys.  If you want to have sex within WEEKS of having this stuff shoved up your Junk?  You're ten feet tall and bullet proof.  I salute you.  It's all I can do to pee in a straight line, and your unit hurts just sitting still.  You want to put it to WORK?  Good luck with that.  Really.

I know there is an end to this.  I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, but the tunnel got longer this morning, and it's just so discouraging. 

So, guys if you smoke?  STOP IT!  I stopped nine years ago, and it was too late.  If you spend a lot time in meth labs, like I did in the 90's?  Go get checked before you start to pee blood when you HAVEN''T been in an MMA fight, NHL or NFL game, or boxing match the night before this starts.  You really, really, don't want to go through this.

And if you're in the neighborhood in the next six months and need to use my bathroom?  Don't use the one in the master bedroom.

Geez.  If you can't laugh at this shit, you would have to go nuts.  This too shall pass, right?  I can't wait until this lease is up.