"You goin' to, Haiti, Mon!"

Have you ever been on a cruise in the Caribbean? A friend of mine, who used to be a flight attendant described the clientele like she did those on a flight to, Hawaii: "The Newly Wed, and, The Nearly Dead." And she is right. The last one we did was in about 2002 when were in our early/mid forties, and we were the mode, the median, and the mean, statistically, of this group of people. Everyone was MUCH younger, or MUCH older.

The table we were assigned to have dinner at each evening included a very old couple from, Tennessee. The husband had married his brother's widow. And a couple from somewhere in, New England who were in the furniture business. Made sure we knew they had lots of money, but didn't appear to have a lot of education or class. The wife had a very obnoxious, and loud voice, and tried to impress us by telling us of her collection of, Kincaid Paintings.

So before you accuse me of looking at, Haiti from the perspective of some rich guy on a cruise ship, I'll tell you that I didn't have any money then, I was still a working stiff at the DOC. And almost without exception, the folks on the ships are pretty Conservative. I'll let the, "Kincaid Paintings" reference speak to their class, education and taste (all in their mouths).

But, even though it was for one day, and on a beach owned by a cruise line, I can say I have been to, Haiti. The cruise line ("It's not a ship. It's The Love Boat!" you would hear every morning for announcements) called the stop, "Labadee Island, Hispaniola". I'd looked at some maps, and I didn't think that it was an island, and I knew, "Hispaniola" was the name of the island containing both, Haiti and, The Dominican Republic, and was, probably, the first island, Columbus landed on on his first expedition in 1492. Why then, didn't they say, "Haiti" in the brochure? Because if you're first stop in this country was, Nogales, Arizona the tour company might describe it as, Nogales, USA. Trying to play down the boarder drug war, poverty, and heat.

Deb and I had checked into the ship, then went back into Miami to look around. We took a taxi back to the ship, and I noticed that the drivers license posted in the cab said he was from, Haiti, so I asked him about, Labadee, and why it was called, Hispaniola? He just chuckled for a minute, and said, "You goin' to, Haiti, Mon!" and laughed some more. I didn't REALLY understand until we got there.

Jump to this week. I finally looked it up on, Google Earth and, Labadee is NOT an island. It's a peninsula. It has beautiful beach, clear, warm water, and the cruise line makes sure it's clean, and neat, and you have every possibility for water sports and entertainment you could want, including cheap beer, and entertaining waiters who are happy to put you're every need on your cruise card. And you're not bothered by the locals.

A short walk off the beach is the little town of, Labadee. Recent pictures on, Google Earth tell a very different story than the one my wife and I saw many years ago. Now it's, "quaint". Then? Not so much.

Broken down stores run by beaten down people. Scary sanitary conditions in food outlets. Too many people all asking for money at one time. They would sell you local rum for $30us a bottle (which was outrageous, considering the bottles were corked, and you couldn't be sure WHAT was in there). They would also sell you, Absinthe, which at the time was illegal in the US. We bought a couple of paintings for, like, $4 and went back to the ship.

I feel very sorry for the people of, Haiti this week. Because life is tough when you have nothing, and even tougher when life takes that away from you. The people of, Labadee are, no doubt, much better off than the folks in, Port Au Prince, since the quake was very localized, but still, the whole country is in dire straits, while the other half of the island is very prosperous. Why is that?

Well, the whole area is a product of Colonialism, and the constant jesting between European Powers for control of the Sugar Cane and the shipping lanes. The history is there for anyone to read. It's not a plot by the Obama Administration, as, Rush Limbaugh said. It's not, "God's Will" as that, ass clown, Pat Robertson thinks. It's piss poor management, and not being ready for a disaster. Just like the Bush Administration handled, Katrina in, New Orleans. But worse.

Between the dictators ("Papa Doc", and his son, "Baby Doc" Duvalier) this country didn't stand a chance. Even when they were ousted, the common and ordinary corruption in most Third World Country's would have doomed many of them. This country has been independent from, France since the mid 1800's and yet they have only one jet ready runway, and one deep port dock in the ENTIRE COUNTRY!? WTF? I think we all know where the money that would have been spent for THAT went!

I think this horrible natural disaster (NO! It's not, "God's Will") as bad as it is, may offer a possible, "do over" for the whole country. Start the society over. Rebuild the country. Make it a show place, with safe cities, and the possibility of tourism. It isn't going to be pretty, but the chance is there.

The first thing they need to do, is burn the body's. I know it sounds awful, but tonight there are reports of body's being used as barricade's to stop trucks of supplies. The worst thing that could happen right now is an outbreak of dysentery because of all of the dead. It's a horrible thing, but it's the only, real, practical solution. You can't let your religious belief's get in the way of preventing an outbreak of disease that would kill the whole country, and all of the people WE have sent there to help.

Next, don't save the buildings. Bulldoze the mess into the sea, build a new port, and start over. With building codes that actually get enforced! Unreinforced, concrete block buildings are common in, "The Carib". The stand up to hurricanes. But not at six stories tall! And they don't do well in earthquakes. And, if anyone needs reminding, this is an earthquake zone.

We haven't had a big quake in SLC for, well, ever! But we know it can occur on a fault zone, and prepare accordingly.

Next, let the United Nations take over running the country on a short term basis. Declare, Marshall Law until the crisis has passed. And give them the authority to arrest and detain. There are 10K different charitable organizations now operating in, Haiti, and even with that, they can't get anything done to change the whole mess? Put one organization in charge. Maybe, if there were only 2K NGO's, using all the resources that the 10K are using, they could get something done? Just sayin...

Within a year, ask, beg, cajole, plead with, France to take control of the country until they can establish enough of an infrastructure to assure clean water, good roads, relieable electricity and fair, honest, and open voting. Backed up by a national army and police force that actually will do the job.

I know, the, Sarah Pailn fans out there are saying, "WE have the best Democracy in the world! We know how to, Nation Build! They are closer to us, we should make them like Guam, or Puerto Rico!" Yeah, yeah. I hear ya.

First off, WE, don't speak the language. This is a, French speaking country. Secondly, their heritage is French. Thirdly, we are fighting two wars, recovering from a major recession, and can't even be civil enough to EACH OTHER to get a health plan in place. How are we going to remake a country with 150 years of poverty and civil unrest? Do you really want us to take that on? I think not.

Donate to the, Red Cross. Or, Helping Hands for Haiti, and do it quickly. For a short time, Visa, MasterCard, and American Express have agreed to waive all processing fees (meaning they don't take a part of your donation as they usually do. So bless them for this).