ESPN is announcing an agreement between the PAC 12 and the Big 10 and it's 12 teams, to play an interlocking schedule in all sports, including football. Meaning that by the time 2017 rolls around, and everyone has played all the games they are contracted for already, the Utes will have 9 PAC 12 games, one Big 10 game and only two open dates, already taken care of, every year.
You guys down at tsds have any games scheduled after October 27th next year yet? Didn't think so.
To paraphrase your favorite, "pundit", Sarah Palin, "How's that, "independenty" thing working out for you?"
You know who I feel bad for in this whole thing? Utah State. Let's face it. They can BEAT a team from a BCS conference. As can tsds in a good year (but GOOD years are going to be fewer and farther between for tsds than USU if current trends continue) and it doesn't look good for the BCS team, when they do. So, why would we play them? And why would ever play them in Logan? Ain't going to happen.
We will put Southern Utah on the schedule. Give them a pay day. And a beating. And some MWC school we can beat (meaning NOT Air Force. EVER!), and call it good for our schedule EVERY YEAR!
Our schedule is done for time and all eternity. Piece of cake.
And the cities we get to visit! Minneapolis/St. Paul is SO pretty. Found one of the best steak houses ever in Lincoln, Nebraska. Playing Northwestern in Chicago? AWESOME!
And my favorite town we will get to go back to? Ann Arbor, Michigan.
When we were there a few years ago to see the Utes, it was probably short of the Sugar Bowl that same season, the best road trip we have ever made.
Even the drunk, students were gracious, and glad we were there. One young lady, obviously, "in the cups" as it were, before the game, about bit the head of a security guard that tried to close the door on Deb's white cane as we were trying to get in.
"YOU CAN'T CLOSE THE DOOR ON A BLIND WOMAN, YOU SON OF A BITCH! THEY CAME CLEAR FROM UTAH! YOU HAVE TO LET THEM IN!" And they did!
And when the game was over, there were two guys, obviously older than me, in Yellow, sorry,MAIZE, shirts, standing at the bottom of the steps where all the Ute fans had to come out, shaking every one's hand and saying, "Thanks for coming. Congratulations on your victory. Please don't let anyone you know go to Ohio State." It was quite an experience.
One day, while walking downtown in my Utah shirt, I got in a conversation with a Jewish guy (the hat is how I knew. No, I'm not even going to TRY to spell it) and he was telling me how much he and his son, who was with him, liked it there.
He said that Ann Arbor had 109,000 people, and 60 book stores. Wow. I believe it. Everyone there was so nice, and so smart.
When I worked for the FBI in the 2002 Olympics, there was a group from the anti-terrorist group from Detroit. Hard core right wingers. They referred to the town as, "The Peoples Republic Of Ann Arbor". Right on!
We found Polish restaurants, Moroccan restaurants. AND a, JB's Big Boy! Ran the gauntlet!
I love Logan. I had some good friends from high school who went to USU and when there was as good concert up there, Marshall Tucker Band, Charlie Daniels, we would go up there and get a room at The Bah Motel and party down in Logan.
But all things considered? I'll take Ann Arbor, Lincoln, Minneapolis, Chicago and just about anywhere back there over either Logan, or Provo.
Hell, comparing, Provo and it's TWO bookstores ( Deseret Book, and Seagull Book for the, "Ghetto Mormons" who only buy discount) and it's, TGI Fridays (who has to HIDE their bar!) to Ann Arbor is like comparing my Camaro to a minivan. Yes, they are both cars, such as it is. But they don't have ANYTHING in common.
That's now how the Utah football program looks at the football at tsds.
You get a game after Halloween yet? I've been working on this for an hour! Thought so.
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Letter To The Editor That Was Too Long. Over 200 Words. Other People Get Them Published...
Editor,
This morning's (12/22/2011) Trib was quite interesting. First there was the article about the state Legislator who wants to let Utah opt out of Daylight Savings Time. And the reason for this? We don't want the, Federal Government telling us what time it should be in OUR state! Well, while your at it, why don't you pass a law that puts us in the Pacific Time Zone, too! Maybe, I could sleep later in a different dimension, or something?
Then in the local section, the ultimate, paranoid, craziness. The folks down around Kanab see a helicopter with, "Gubment" markings on it, instead of assuming it was a local law enforcement agency searching for a fugitive, or following a high speed chase as us city folks see all the time (credit where it's due. Counting sheep would have been way down on my list too, but not THIS far down) assume it's the Federal Government, "spying" on them!
Wow. These are the same folks who see, "black helicopters" in the distance, think the Federal Government is dropping drugs or chemicals on them with jet contrails, have places that require you to own a gun to live in their town, and have declared parts of Southern Utah a, "United Nations Free Zone".
Our state motto needs to be changed from, "Industry" to: Utah! The Tin Foil Hat State.
I guess this is the same, "logic" that demands free market solutions to everything, while choking the free market to death with a lack of liquor licenses, and declares themselves super patriotic while hating the Federal Government and all the regulations/protections/services it provides.
As the, "Prophet", Forest Gump said, "Stupid is, as stupid does".
This morning's (12/22/2011) Trib was quite interesting. First there was the article about the state Legislator who wants to let Utah opt out of Daylight Savings Time. And the reason for this? We don't want the, Federal Government telling us what time it should be in OUR state! Well, while your at it, why don't you pass a law that puts us in the Pacific Time Zone, too! Maybe, I could sleep later in a different dimension, or something?
Then in the local section, the ultimate, paranoid, craziness. The folks down around Kanab see a helicopter with, "Gubment" markings on it, instead of assuming it was a local law enforcement agency searching for a fugitive, or following a high speed chase as us city folks see all the time (credit where it's due. Counting sheep would have been way down on my list too, but not THIS far down) assume it's the Federal Government, "spying" on them!
Wow. These are the same folks who see, "black helicopters" in the distance, think the Federal Government is dropping drugs or chemicals on them with jet contrails, have places that require you to own a gun to live in their town, and have declared parts of Southern Utah a, "United Nations Free Zone".
Our state motto needs to be changed from, "Industry" to: Utah! The Tin Foil Hat State.
I guess this is the same, "logic" that demands free market solutions to everything, while choking the free market to death with a lack of liquor licenses, and declares themselves super patriotic while hating the Federal Government and all the regulations/protections/services it provides.
As the, "Prophet", Forest Gump said, "Stupid is, as stupid does".
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Holliday Tradition
Deb used to like to buy a bunch of coloring books and boxes of crayons, wrap them up and take them to the homeless shelter's, School With No Name every year. We did this for, like, 20 years. This year? We ran out of time.
We used to get an, Angel from the Angel tree. Didn't have time.
When Danny was in school over here at Viewmont, the school Social Worker world put out the word about kids who needed coats, or their family needed help at Christmas.
Now that he's in high school, we didn't get that word.
This year, we spent the Thanksgiving weekend in Las Vegas for a soccer tournament with a team from Park City that Danny and his buddy, Trenton had been invited to, "guest play" for. It was an honor for them, as the PCSC plays in a higher division than our boys.
Two weeks later, my friend, Lisa Landry the comedian invited, Deb and I to come to see her in Las Vegas. She doesn't play Las Vegas usually. They, most of the time require her to stay for a whole week, and she doesn't want to be away from her husband and, "The Devil Tot", her son for a week at a time.
It was nice of her to think of us, since it was close to Utah. But Deb decided to stay home and deal with Christmas baking and shopping, etc. So I took my friend, Phil to the show. It was a good, "Boy's Night Out" in Las Vegas, and we never ever went NEAR a stripper bar. Just us, cigars and some whiskey before going to see Lisa's funny show. She knocked em' dead, by the way.
I've done my Christmas shopping. I don't like the holiday anymore. And it's not just because I'm a, "Godless" Atheist. I USED to be religious, and December 25 is my birthday! I share it with Jimmy Buffett and some guy called, "Jesus". Or so I hear.
I've actually SEEN Jimmy Buffett...
But, I still believe in helping my fellow man. ANY time of the year, but this time of the year seems to have a much bigger impact. I don't believe in God, or any of the superstitious anymore. But I sure don't want any kid to wake up on Christmas morning and have nothing to celebrate.
So, I called, Santa Clause. I have his cell phone number.
You think I'm kidding?
Well, I have a buddy who makes his living working for the state, and was at one time my partner. But he makes a BUNCH of his yearly income being Santa from November through December.
He's a right wing, Republican, gun nut, Mormon! He hangs out with Ted Nugent, for crying out loud! We have NOTHING in common! And I love him to death, and would take a bullet for him. And I buy MY ammunition from him.
I asked him to tell me of someone who needed a hand. Someone who needed help, that he knew of from his, "Santa" duty. Not some guy who put $1.6 million on lay away at, "Wally World" hoping someone would pay it off and he could sell it off after Christmas.
He said, "I'll get back to you."
As well he should.
Later that day, he calls me back with a name, and a, lay away account number for a woman who has put some stuff on lay away at the Woods Cross, K Mart. I took that information, and my credit card up to Woods Cross and paid that sucker off. Just cause I could.
That's my new holiday tradition. To help someone who's in need of help, and make Christmas good for the kids they have.
I don't want you to think I'm a great guy for doing this. I want you to know that even though I'm an Atheist, I still have morals, and feel empathy, and want kids to have a good Christmas. That you don't need to believe the fables, to learn from the parable.
Merry Christmas, Happy Hanuka, Happy New Year. No matter WHAT you believe.
We used to get an, Angel from the Angel tree. Didn't have time.
When Danny was in school over here at Viewmont, the school Social Worker world put out the word about kids who needed coats, or their family needed help at Christmas.
Now that he's in high school, we didn't get that word.
This year, we spent the Thanksgiving weekend in Las Vegas for a soccer tournament with a team from Park City that Danny and his buddy, Trenton had been invited to, "guest play" for. It was an honor for them, as the PCSC plays in a higher division than our boys.
Two weeks later, my friend, Lisa Landry the comedian invited, Deb and I to come to see her in Las Vegas. She doesn't play Las Vegas usually. They, most of the time require her to stay for a whole week, and she doesn't want to be away from her husband and, "The Devil Tot", her son for a week at a time.
It was nice of her to think of us, since it was close to Utah. But Deb decided to stay home and deal with Christmas baking and shopping, etc. So I took my friend, Phil to the show. It was a good, "Boy's Night Out" in Las Vegas, and we never ever went NEAR a stripper bar. Just us, cigars and some whiskey before going to see Lisa's funny show. She knocked em' dead, by the way.
I've done my Christmas shopping. I don't like the holiday anymore. And it's not just because I'm a, "Godless" Atheist. I USED to be religious, and December 25 is my birthday! I share it with Jimmy Buffett and some guy called, "Jesus". Or so I hear.
I've actually SEEN Jimmy Buffett...
But, I still believe in helping my fellow man. ANY time of the year, but this time of the year seems to have a much bigger impact. I don't believe in God, or any of the superstitious anymore. But I sure don't want any kid to wake up on Christmas morning and have nothing to celebrate.
So, I called, Santa Clause. I have his cell phone number.
You think I'm kidding?
Well, I have a buddy who makes his living working for the state, and was at one time my partner. But he makes a BUNCH of his yearly income being Santa from November through December.
He's a right wing, Republican, gun nut, Mormon! He hangs out with Ted Nugent, for crying out loud! We have NOTHING in common! And I love him to death, and would take a bullet for him. And I buy MY ammunition from him.
I asked him to tell me of someone who needed a hand. Someone who needed help, that he knew of from his, "Santa" duty. Not some guy who put $1.6 million on lay away at, "Wally World" hoping someone would pay it off and he could sell it off after Christmas.
He said, "I'll get back to you."
As well he should.
Later that day, he calls me back with a name, and a, lay away account number for a woman who has put some stuff on lay away at the Woods Cross, K Mart. I took that information, and my credit card up to Woods Cross and paid that sucker off. Just cause I could.
That's my new holiday tradition. To help someone who's in need of help, and make Christmas good for the kids they have.
I don't want you to think I'm a great guy for doing this. I want you to know that even though I'm an Atheist, I still have morals, and feel empathy, and want kids to have a good Christmas. That you don't need to believe the fables, to learn from the parable.
Merry Christmas, Happy Hanuka, Happy New Year. No matter WHAT you believe.
Lies, Danm Lies, Statistics And The Salt Lake Tribune.
Mark Twain is credited with saying, "There are lies, damn lies, and statistics!". I haven't gone in search of the exact quote, and since I'm just alleging it, not asserting it, I'll go with the folk lore.
But I do know this. When I was getting a Sociology degree at the University of Utah in the very late 1970's, and wanted a Minor in Psychology I was required to take Statistics from BOTH of those colleges (well, courses of study within the COLLEGE of Behavioral Science). It was pretty much the same, exact course. So taking it again was total bullshit, and only made you pay for the same hours over again.
And it wasn't a hard course. It was basic math, some minor algebra. Know the difference between the mode, the median and the mean. Simple stuff. Yes I passed it BOTH times. I KNOW about statistics, and how they work. Surveys, polls, leading questions, the whole lot. You cannot pull the wool over my eyes with some bullshit, "Faux News" survey, or right wing poll. I'm not an expert, but I AM willing to bet I've had TWO more stat's classes at a University, than YOU! OK?
Well, this morning, I'm wondering if anyone at the Salt Lake Tribune ever took a, "stats" class. Because the above the fold, HEAD LINE is totally skewed (Tribune, editors? That's a, "stats" term. Look it up). "1 in 5 Dems unsure on Obama".
Then the article starts with the sentence, "Most Democrats want to re-elect President Barack Obama, but one in five of of his party's supporters remain uncertain about keeping him in the White house,..."
Really? One in FIVE are uncertain about keeping him in the White House. Well, as someone who's actually conversant in STATISTICS, I would have to say that should have read, "FOUR OUT OF FIVE, OR 80% OF ALL DEMOCRATS APPROVE OF KEEPING BARACK OBAMA IN THE WHITE HOUSE FOR FOUR, MORE, YEARS!"
And underneath it, it should have read, "live with it, Bitches!"
Sometimes, the Trib, which is usually the voice of reason in this state, seems to wake up and remember it lives in Utah. But forgets it has no competition. And tries to pander to a local audience.
Give it up, Trib. The Mormon's WON'T read you, the Republicans can't stand that you tell the truth, so they go with that OTHER, "newspaper", and I use the term loosely. You can't win. Just stick with the truth.
One in five people who actually went to college and buy their books somewhere other than, Costco (and buy books at ALL) didn't fall for that dumb headline. What were you thinking?
But I do know this. When I was getting a Sociology degree at the University of Utah in the very late 1970's, and wanted a Minor in Psychology I was required to take Statistics from BOTH of those colleges (well, courses of study within the COLLEGE of Behavioral Science). It was pretty much the same, exact course. So taking it again was total bullshit, and only made you pay for the same hours over again.
And it wasn't a hard course. It was basic math, some minor algebra. Know the difference between the mode, the median and the mean. Simple stuff. Yes I passed it BOTH times. I KNOW about statistics, and how they work. Surveys, polls, leading questions, the whole lot. You cannot pull the wool over my eyes with some bullshit, "Faux News" survey, or right wing poll. I'm not an expert, but I AM willing to bet I've had TWO more stat's classes at a University, than YOU! OK?
Well, this morning, I'm wondering if anyone at the Salt Lake Tribune ever took a, "stats" class. Because the above the fold, HEAD LINE is totally skewed (Tribune, editors? That's a, "stats" term. Look it up). "1 in 5 Dems unsure on Obama".
Then the article starts with the sentence, "Most Democrats want to re-elect President Barack Obama, but one in five of of his party's supporters remain uncertain about keeping him in the White house,..."
Really? One in FIVE are uncertain about keeping him in the White House. Well, as someone who's actually conversant in STATISTICS, I would have to say that should have read, "FOUR OUT OF FIVE, OR 80% OF ALL DEMOCRATS APPROVE OF KEEPING BARACK OBAMA IN THE WHITE HOUSE FOR FOUR, MORE, YEARS!"
And underneath it, it should have read, "live with it, Bitches!"
Sometimes, the Trib, which is usually the voice of reason in this state, seems to wake up and remember it lives in Utah. But forgets it has no competition. And tries to pander to a local audience.
Give it up, Trib. The Mormon's WON'T read you, the Republicans can't stand that you tell the truth, so they go with that OTHER, "newspaper", and I use the term loosely. You can't win. Just stick with the truth.
One in five people who actually went to college and buy their books somewhere other than, Costco (and buy books at ALL) didn't fall for that dumb headline. What were you thinking?
Sunday, December 18, 2011
How The Rest Of The World Sees Us
This is going to be copied, directly, word for word, form the December 16, 2011 copy of, "The Week" magazine. It was on page 16. And the article was titled, "How they see us: The GOP makes a virtue of ignorance.
The Republican presidential contest in America is a, freak show" said Marc Pi in the German, Der Spiegel. The candidates vie with one another to spew the most outrageous hard-right positions, denying evolution while endorsing torture and joking about electrocuting illegal immigrants. How did a major, party in the worlds sole superpower become a "club of liars, debtors, betrayers, adulterers, exaggerators, hypocrites, and ignoramuses?" Those know-nothings are enabled by a U.S. Press that has been "neutered by the demands of political correctness" so that it can't say what's obvious: These people are daft! Instead, it proclaims one clown after the next to be, "The New Front Runner". The current favorite, Newt Gingrich, is actually considered an intellectual merely because he can create sentences with multiple clauses. Scarcely a one has even the most basic grasp of foreign policy. ONE said Africa is a country, another that the Taliban rule in Libya. Collectively, "they expose a political economic, geographic, and historical ignorance that makes, George W. Bush look like a scholar".
And it gets worse.
That's the scariest part, said, Lorraine Millot in the Paris, Liberation. The only GOP candidate who knows a thing about diplomacy, Jon Huntsman, is dead last in most polls. The others "Kareem to extreme positions that include starting new wars and abandoning old allies" and that's when they even have a position. Herman Cain, now thankfully out of the race, was the front-runner even though he couldn't find a single coherent word to say about President Obama's policy on Lybia. He even boasted of knowing little about foreign countries. And yet it was his adultery, not his astounding ignorance, that brought him down.
There's a simple, "sexplaninatation" for this bizarre phenomenon, said Max Hastings in the London, Daily Mail, in the, "lunatic, gun toting, of Americas hicks-ville, country" it's considered suspiciously elitist to show any interest in modern science or any world beyond America's borders.
Is that what we want our politicians to be?
End quote: Now? It's just me. And I have to say, "FUCK NO!" Why do the smartest, the most hard working, the folks who should be in Unions, keep electing the dumbest, right wing, Republican, motherfuckers! When they don't have their best interests at heart?
Well, guns and abortion. I'm a Liberal Democrat with more guns than YOU! A whole safe full. I buy ammo by the case!
And it's been 1973 since Roe V. Wade. Republicans could have overturned it a million times. But they didn't, because they need to keep you believing they will. Bullshit.
I ADOPTED MY SON! But his, birth mothers decision was HERS! Not some Congressman! As it should be. His birth mom GAVE US our son. Also, as it should be.
How many guns you need? Knock yourself out. Us Democrats don't give a shit. I have a whole safe full of them. Love to shoot. You think we're coming for yours? You're not paying attention. You think you protect yourself from a, "Tyrannical Government" with your guns? Good luck with that. The Tyrannical Government has an Army. And an Air Force. A Navy. The Marines. A Coast Guard. And a million times the ammo you kept in your mom's storage room! So get over it. Nut ball.
You want to protect yourself from a, "Tyrannical Government"? VOTE! And vote for Democrats, because they have not taken away your gun rights, or tapped your phones, or told you what you can do in your bedroom, or with whom you can do it!
Because if you don't? You only buy your books at Costco, and you only get your news from, "Faux News", which is NOT news! It's just, unadulterated, BULLSHIT! Dressed up as news.
Wake up America! You've been duped, And you've sent your kids to be killed in the duping. Get a clue.
The Republican presidential contest in America is a, freak show" said Marc Pi in the German, Der Spiegel. The candidates vie with one another to spew the most outrageous hard-right positions, denying evolution while endorsing torture and joking about electrocuting illegal immigrants. How did a major, party in the worlds sole superpower become a "club of liars, debtors, betrayers, adulterers, exaggerators, hypocrites, and ignoramuses?" Those know-nothings are enabled by a U.S. Press that has been "neutered by the demands of political correctness" so that it can't say what's obvious: These people are daft! Instead, it proclaims one clown after the next to be, "The New Front Runner". The current favorite, Newt Gingrich, is actually considered an intellectual merely because he can create sentences with multiple clauses. Scarcely a one has even the most basic grasp of foreign policy. ONE said Africa is a country, another that the Taliban rule in Libya. Collectively, "they expose a political economic, geographic, and historical ignorance that makes, George W. Bush look like a scholar".
And it gets worse.
That's the scariest part, said, Lorraine Millot in the Paris, Liberation. The only GOP candidate who knows a thing about diplomacy, Jon Huntsman, is dead last in most polls. The others "Kareem to extreme positions that include starting new wars and abandoning old allies" and that's when they even have a position. Herman Cain, now thankfully out of the race, was the front-runner even though he couldn't find a single coherent word to say about President Obama's policy on Lybia. He even boasted of knowing little about foreign countries. And yet it was his adultery, not his astounding ignorance, that brought him down.
There's a simple, "sexplaninatation" for this bizarre phenomenon, said Max Hastings in the London, Daily Mail, in the, "lunatic, gun toting, of Americas hicks-ville, country" it's considered suspiciously elitist to show any interest in modern science or any world beyond America's borders.
Is that what we want our politicians to be?
End quote: Now? It's just me. And I have to say, "FUCK NO!" Why do the smartest, the most hard working, the folks who should be in Unions, keep electing the dumbest, right wing, Republican, motherfuckers! When they don't have their best interests at heart?
Well, guns and abortion. I'm a Liberal Democrat with more guns than YOU! A whole safe full. I buy ammo by the case!
And it's been 1973 since Roe V. Wade. Republicans could have overturned it a million times. But they didn't, because they need to keep you believing they will. Bullshit.
I ADOPTED MY SON! But his, birth mothers decision was HERS! Not some Congressman! As it should be. His birth mom GAVE US our son. Also, as it should be.
How many guns you need? Knock yourself out. Us Democrats don't give a shit. I have a whole safe full of them. Love to shoot. You think we're coming for yours? You're not paying attention. You think you protect yourself from a, "Tyrannical Government" with your guns? Good luck with that. The Tyrannical Government has an Army. And an Air Force. A Navy. The Marines. A Coast Guard. And a million times the ammo you kept in your mom's storage room! So get over it. Nut ball.
You want to protect yourself from a, "Tyrannical Government"? VOTE! And vote for Democrats, because they have not taken away your gun rights, or tapped your phones, or told you what you can do in your bedroom, or with whom you can do it!
Because if you don't? You only buy your books at Costco, and you only get your news from, "Faux News", which is NOT news! It's just, unadulterated, BULLSHIT! Dressed up as news.
Wake up America! You've been duped, And you've sent your kids to be killed in the duping. Get a clue.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
I'm Going To Miss Chris
I didn't always agree with Christopher Hitchens. He thought going into Iraq was a GOOD idea. And he could come across as sort of a, "foppish", privileged prick who had been thrown out of some of the best schools in England. But he was right about most stuff.
I've read two of his books. God Is Not Great, and, Hitch 22.
He nailed it, as far as I'm concerned in, the first one. The second one was maybe a little self Agrandizing, but it was still a good read. I read it on my last flight from Paris to SLC. Made the 10 hours go by quickly.
He died today of cancer, caused, most probably by his smoking. As was, well, IS? Mine. We all make our beds, despite knowing what we know, and at some point, we must lie in them. Even if they are six feet under.
I don't know if there is any OTHER cause of esophageal cancer than smoking. I can't imagine one.
My bladder cancer on the other hand, has TWO leading causes. Smoking. Which I did from the time I was in college to about nine or ten years ago. And to think, I was worried about my LUNGS! Who'd have thunk it?
And exposure to chemicals at work. Well, considering I spent about two nights a month in the 1990's standing around in some meth lab that I or my partner had stumbled into, while waiting for the DEA to come and clean it up, I think I scored on BOTH counts there.
And like Hitchens, I hope I beat it. But we both knew that win or lose, there is nothing after this life. And you need to live it to the fullest while you can.
I can't tolerate the, "chemo" therapy for my cancer. Too painful. My doctor told me I have a 40/60 chance of a relapse if I don't do it. I'll take my 20% chance of NOT getting sick again, since he said the second surgery showed NO cancer in the biopsy.
And I'm not smoking a pack of Canadian, "Cig's" every day and I don't spend ANY time hanging out in meth labs anymore.
I'm trying to take better care of myself, but I'm pretty much set in my ways.
So, if it turns out that at some point in the next year or so, I have cancer again? I'm going to pull a Christopher Hitchens and, "Light up another cigarette".
If I'm going to die anyway? Might as well enjoy something I really used to like.
Rest in peace, Chris Hitchens. You told the truth, and you told it well.
I've read two of his books. God Is Not Great, and, Hitch 22.
He nailed it, as far as I'm concerned in, the first one. The second one was maybe a little self Agrandizing, but it was still a good read. I read it on my last flight from Paris to SLC. Made the 10 hours go by quickly.
He died today of cancer, caused, most probably by his smoking. As was, well, IS? Mine. We all make our beds, despite knowing what we know, and at some point, we must lie in them. Even if they are six feet under.
I don't know if there is any OTHER cause of esophageal cancer than smoking. I can't imagine one.
My bladder cancer on the other hand, has TWO leading causes. Smoking. Which I did from the time I was in college to about nine or ten years ago. And to think, I was worried about my LUNGS! Who'd have thunk it?
And exposure to chemicals at work. Well, considering I spent about two nights a month in the 1990's standing around in some meth lab that I or my partner had stumbled into, while waiting for the DEA to come and clean it up, I think I scored on BOTH counts there.
And like Hitchens, I hope I beat it. But we both knew that win or lose, there is nothing after this life. And you need to live it to the fullest while you can.
I can't tolerate the, "chemo" therapy for my cancer. Too painful. My doctor told me I have a 40/60 chance of a relapse if I don't do it. I'll take my 20% chance of NOT getting sick again, since he said the second surgery showed NO cancer in the biopsy.
And I'm not smoking a pack of Canadian, "Cig's" every day and I don't spend ANY time hanging out in meth labs anymore.
I'm trying to take better care of myself, but I'm pretty much set in my ways.
So, if it turns out that at some point in the next year or so, I have cancer again? I'm going to pull a Christopher Hitchens and, "Light up another cigarette".
If I'm going to die anyway? Might as well enjoy something I really used to like.
Rest in peace, Chris Hitchens. You told the truth, and you told it well.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
All I Want For Christmas...
I'm easy to shop for. I have my own money. I don't NEED anything.
Except health insurance. I pay a TON of money for that every month since the Republicans took my retirement health insurance away the year I could retire and kept it for themselves. Promised it to me, took it away. Why would anyone who works for a living vote for a Republican? I can't figure it out.
But I'm willing to tell my family my Christmas list. Well, AND Birthday list as well. I share a birthday with Jesus and Jimmy Buffett.
Jesus may be, "The Reason For The Season", but I've actually SEEN, Jimmy Buffett. So I believe in him.
I want a set of orange and black, "SS" floor Matt's for the Camaro. That's all I want. And I'll tell you why.
My wife's family tradition of stuffing stockings kills me every year. I think it's crazy since the kids are old enough to know that Santa Clause is every much a myth as Jesus! The only thing coming down the chimney in this house is cold air when the fire dies out.
I don't like to shop, and I don't want to do it. And I don't want you to do it for ME! I don't want a stocking stuffed with candy I don't like and big, "Assed" key chains that play, "Utah Man" that I will NEVER, EVER USE!
You want to do me a favor at Christmas? Buy me something I can use. Like health insurance. Or ammunition. I LOVE ammunition!
45. ACP and .357 Magnum are my favorite. But I'm open to anything in .12 Gauge, too.
If you want to buy me a book? Don't bother. I might not like to read what you think I should. Give me a gift card to Barnes and Noble. And let me pick out my OWN book. That's a gift I could use!
Or better yet? One to, Weller's bookstore! I'd love to spend locally!
But the best gift a guy like me could get, after growing up the way I had to, because I had no choice over my own Birthday? Just send a, "Happy Birthday" on Facebook, on Christmas day. That would be cool.
I hope you ALL have GREAT holiday season, no matter which holidays you celebrate.
Just sayin...
Except health insurance. I pay a TON of money for that every month since the Republicans took my retirement health insurance away the year I could retire and kept it for themselves. Promised it to me, took it away. Why would anyone who works for a living vote for a Republican? I can't figure it out.
But I'm willing to tell my family my Christmas list. Well, AND Birthday list as well. I share a birthday with Jesus and Jimmy Buffett.
Jesus may be, "The Reason For The Season", but I've actually SEEN, Jimmy Buffett. So I believe in him.
I want a set of orange and black, "SS" floor Matt's for the Camaro. That's all I want. And I'll tell you why.
My wife's family tradition of stuffing stockings kills me every year. I think it's crazy since the kids are old enough to know that Santa Clause is every much a myth as Jesus! The only thing coming down the chimney in this house is cold air when the fire dies out.
I don't like to shop, and I don't want to do it. And I don't want you to do it for ME! I don't want a stocking stuffed with candy I don't like and big, "Assed" key chains that play, "Utah Man" that I will NEVER, EVER USE!
You want to do me a favor at Christmas? Buy me something I can use. Like health insurance. Or ammunition. I LOVE ammunition!
45. ACP and .357 Magnum are my favorite. But I'm open to anything in .12 Gauge, too.
If you want to buy me a book? Don't bother. I might not like to read what you think I should. Give me a gift card to Barnes and Noble. And let me pick out my OWN book. That's a gift I could use!
Or better yet? One to, Weller's bookstore! I'd love to spend locally!
But the best gift a guy like me could get, after growing up the way I had to, because I had no choice over my own Birthday? Just send a, "Happy Birthday" on Facebook, on Christmas day. That would be cool.
I hope you ALL have GREAT holiday season, no matter which holidays you celebrate.
Just sayin...
Merry Freakin' Christmas
This blog is addressed to wives of guys like me. We're older. We have some money. We generally buy what ever we need, and for the most part, WANT, when ever we need or want it. In the last 28 years I have taken my wife pretty much, where ever she wanted to go. Cruises, Caribbean, Europe and she buys jewelry. What ever she wants.
She buys her own clothes. Coats, shoes, what ever. I don't have ANY idea what to buy this woman for Christmas.
So, ladies? If you find yourself married to the same guy for 28 years, and you don't have a hobby like building dollhouses, or crafting, or, hell, I don't know, model railroading? Then do your man a favor:
GIVE HIM A FUCKING CLUE WHAT YOU WOULD LIKE FOR CHRISTMAS!
I know it comes as a shock to most women, but we DO NOT read minds! When you wake up on Christmas morning, and nothing you got for Christmas makes you happy, it's YOUR OWN DAMN FAULT if you husband has been asking you for suggestions for a MONTH!
You want to go see, "A Christmas Carol" at Hale Center Theater and you don't tell him? You're not getting there! You wanted tickets to see, Ballet West do, "The Nutcracker" and didn't tell him? You wanted ANOTHER nutcracker and didn't tell him for that matter. You're not getting it!
If you have a couple of leather coats. A long one and a short one, and you wanted ANOTHER one, but didn't mention it to your husband? Don't EVEN be disappointed on Christmas morning!
And until you have used up the lifetime supply of Victoria's Secret lotion/soap/body wash you would just love, so I bought it for you every year for ten years to put in your stocking and it's now turning brown on a bathroom shelf? Don't tell me to go back there.
I swear, I've told lap dancers in Las Vegas that I liked their Victoria Secret lotion, and when they asked me how I knew what they were wearing? I've told them, "I buy it for my wife every Christmas cause I think it's great." They think I'm a great husband who really takes care of his wife the right way. Then they realize that if was really THAT guy? I might not be in a stripper bar. Makes em think for a minute. Just sayin...
You can see the wheels turning in their brains. After all, they are all UNLV Political Science majors, just trying to work their way through college if you ask them... But I digress.
So, ladies, if you have made it to a point in your life, that you can meet your own, NEEDS, and most of your own, WANTS? Give your poor husband a clue. Help him out. At least steer him in the right direction. If you want some sort of a lawn sculpture for next summer, or new computer program, and you end up with a pair of Cowboy Boots you'll never wear, and you haven't done that? It's you own fault.
She buys her own clothes. Coats, shoes, what ever. I don't have ANY idea what to buy this woman for Christmas.
So, ladies? If you find yourself married to the same guy for 28 years, and you don't have a hobby like building dollhouses, or crafting, or, hell, I don't know, model railroading? Then do your man a favor:
GIVE HIM A FUCKING CLUE WHAT YOU WOULD LIKE FOR CHRISTMAS!
I know it comes as a shock to most women, but we DO NOT read minds! When you wake up on Christmas morning, and nothing you got for Christmas makes you happy, it's YOUR OWN DAMN FAULT if you husband has been asking you for suggestions for a MONTH!
You want to go see, "A Christmas Carol" at Hale Center Theater and you don't tell him? You're not getting there! You wanted tickets to see, Ballet West do, "The Nutcracker" and didn't tell him? You wanted ANOTHER nutcracker and didn't tell him for that matter. You're not getting it!
If you have a couple of leather coats. A long one and a short one, and you wanted ANOTHER one, but didn't mention it to your husband? Don't EVEN be disappointed on Christmas morning!
And until you have used up the lifetime supply of Victoria's Secret lotion/soap/body wash you would just love, so I bought it for you every year for ten years to put in your stocking and it's now turning brown on a bathroom shelf? Don't tell me to go back there.
I swear, I've told lap dancers in Las Vegas that I liked their Victoria Secret lotion, and when they asked me how I knew what they were wearing? I've told them, "I buy it for my wife every Christmas cause I think it's great." They think I'm a great husband who really takes care of his wife the right way. Then they realize that if was really THAT guy? I might not be in a stripper bar. Makes em think for a minute. Just sayin...
You can see the wheels turning in their brains. After all, they are all UNLV Political Science majors, just trying to work their way through college if you ask them... But I digress.
So, ladies, if you have made it to a point in your life, that you can meet your own, NEEDS, and most of your own, WANTS? Give your poor husband a clue. Help him out. At least steer him in the right direction. If you want some sort of a lawn sculpture for next summer, or new computer program, and you end up with a pair of Cowboy Boots you'll never wear, and you haven't done that? It's you own fault.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
I BLOG Because I Don't Have The Guts To Be A Stand Up Comedian
I grew up loving George Carlin. Rich Little, Rodney Dangerfield. Anyone that appeared on, "The Tonight Show." I would beg my mom to let me stay up when ANY comedian was going to be on, "The Tonight Show".
Joan Rivers, Robert (I can't stop my leg!, Child of the 50's) Klein. Loved it. When I was finally old enough, and had a job while in college, to get cable TV, I had to have HBO. Carlin and Klein OWNED HBO in the late 70's and 80's.
Gave me the opportunity to be on the cutting edge by having MTV when THEY started, too!
I have a friend who is a stand up comedian. And I'm going to see her this weekend, in Las Vegas.
How do you know this woman, you might ask? Was she from Utah? Or Murray? Nope. We are, "face book friends". Oh, you're saying. You're not REALLY friends. You just follow her and are going to a show.
Nope. And I'm going to tell you why.
A few years ago, I was watching, Comedy Central in January. And they have this competition where you can call in vote for your favorite comedian. And I saw Lisa's show. I thought she was very funny, and she didn't work too, "Blue", most of her stuff was about her husband and her son, "The Devil Tot".
My wife doesn't really like stand up. She will humor me if I want to go. Hell, she can't see shit but agreed to see Penn & Teller with me, not once, but twice this year, just because I wanted to go, and last month, wanted to take my son and his friend. But I thought that if, Lisa Landry ever got to work the clubs in SLC, I'd make her come with me. Blind people can HEAR the funny.
So, I went to find Lisa's web sight and it turns out she was on FB, and I could, "friend" her. Awesome. I figured I'd get updates on comedy club dates, and if she was going to be in SLC, I'd know about it.
Well, turns out, she was really working that FB page, cause she wasn't that famous back then. And the night after I became a FB friend of Lisa Landry, I became a friend of, Lisa Landry!
She was in the chat room on FB. I asked her if she was really her, or if she paid someone to BE her in the chat thing. Nope it was her. We talked. She was from Louisiana, Deb and I had just been there. We talked about travel. We talked about all kinds of stuff. it was fun. And we kept chatting for a while until she became famous enough that if she went into chat and DIDN'T talk to everyone, people would be pissed at her.
So we just talked by email. Summer of 2010. Lisa invites Deb and I to her tapeing of her new DVD at a club in Denver. Put us on the VIP list! Awesome! We go, we are entertained, she's awesome, and we get to meet her after the show. Now my FB friend is REALLY a friend! We keep in touch.
Through our emails, she's told me she doesn't like to work Las Vegas, because they make you stay a week. And she doesn't want to be away from her husband and son that long, so she doesn't take those gigs. But she's still trying to book a gig at, Wiseguys in SLC.
Well, last month, she invites Deb and I to come see her in Las Vegas! She got a Thursday-Saturday gig there! Oh, HELL yeah I'm there.
Deb doesn't want to go. To close to Christmas, too much to do. Gives me permission to do it as a, "BNO" (Boys Night Out) so I talk, Phil into it!
And I know what some of you are thinking. Hot, young, chick you're going to hang out with. Leaving your wife home...
If you want to give a buzz kill to your possible future affair, guys? Take your wife to meet the woman your friends think you're going to try to hit on the first time you meet her. This young lady invited me and my WIFE to her show. Because she's worried about Deb's eyes. She really cares about my WIFE'S welfare. Anyone who thinks different is up in the night.
Phil is coming with me to see the show, and buy his Christmas booze at Costco in Las Vegas. And, because he's a good friend.
So, tomorrow, we leave for the long drive. Friday, we shop at Costco and Trader Joe's (My kids have told me that I need to fill the back seat of the Audi with the vanilla, almond, cluster, crunch cereal, or they will be pissed at me. What the hell. They can't bust me at the boarder for bootleg cereal).
The bootleg booze will be int the trunk. And I was a Cop long enough to know that I can, and will say, "NO, you can't search my car!"
I'll be here all week, please tip your waitress! Thank you!
Joan Rivers, Robert (I can't stop my leg!, Child of the 50's) Klein. Loved it. When I was finally old enough, and had a job while in college, to get cable TV, I had to have HBO. Carlin and Klein OWNED HBO in the late 70's and 80's.
Gave me the opportunity to be on the cutting edge by having MTV when THEY started, too!
I have a friend who is a stand up comedian. And I'm going to see her this weekend, in Las Vegas.
How do you know this woman, you might ask? Was she from Utah? Or Murray? Nope. We are, "face book friends". Oh, you're saying. You're not REALLY friends. You just follow her and are going to a show.
Nope. And I'm going to tell you why.
A few years ago, I was watching, Comedy Central in January. And they have this competition where you can call in vote for your favorite comedian. And I saw Lisa's show. I thought she was very funny, and she didn't work too, "Blue", most of her stuff was about her husband and her son, "The Devil Tot".
My wife doesn't really like stand up. She will humor me if I want to go. Hell, she can't see shit but agreed to see Penn & Teller with me, not once, but twice this year, just because I wanted to go, and last month, wanted to take my son and his friend. But I thought that if, Lisa Landry ever got to work the clubs in SLC, I'd make her come with me. Blind people can HEAR the funny.
So, I went to find Lisa's web sight and it turns out she was on FB, and I could, "friend" her. Awesome. I figured I'd get updates on comedy club dates, and if she was going to be in SLC, I'd know about it.
Well, turns out, she was really working that FB page, cause she wasn't that famous back then. And the night after I became a FB friend of Lisa Landry, I became a friend of, Lisa Landry!
She was in the chat room on FB. I asked her if she was really her, or if she paid someone to BE her in the chat thing. Nope it was her. We talked. She was from Louisiana, Deb and I had just been there. We talked about travel. We talked about all kinds of stuff. it was fun. And we kept chatting for a while until she became famous enough that if she went into chat and DIDN'T talk to everyone, people would be pissed at her.
So we just talked by email. Summer of 2010. Lisa invites Deb and I to her tapeing of her new DVD at a club in Denver. Put us on the VIP list! Awesome! We go, we are entertained, she's awesome, and we get to meet her after the show. Now my FB friend is REALLY a friend! We keep in touch.
Through our emails, she's told me she doesn't like to work Las Vegas, because they make you stay a week. And she doesn't want to be away from her husband and son that long, so she doesn't take those gigs. But she's still trying to book a gig at, Wiseguys in SLC.
Well, last month, she invites Deb and I to come see her in Las Vegas! She got a Thursday-Saturday gig there! Oh, HELL yeah I'm there.
Deb doesn't want to go. To close to Christmas, too much to do. Gives me permission to do it as a, "BNO" (Boys Night Out) so I talk, Phil into it!
And I know what some of you are thinking. Hot, young, chick you're going to hang out with. Leaving your wife home...
If you want to give a buzz kill to your possible future affair, guys? Take your wife to meet the woman your friends think you're going to try to hit on the first time you meet her. This young lady invited me and my WIFE to her show. Because she's worried about Deb's eyes. She really cares about my WIFE'S welfare. Anyone who thinks different is up in the night.
Phil is coming with me to see the show, and buy his Christmas booze at Costco in Las Vegas. And, because he's a good friend.
So, tomorrow, we leave for the long drive. Friday, we shop at Costco and Trader Joe's (My kids have told me that I need to fill the back seat of the Audi with the vanilla, almond, cluster, crunch cereal, or they will be pissed at me. What the hell. They can't bust me at the boarder for bootleg cereal).
The bootleg booze will be int the trunk. And I was a Cop long enough to know that I can, and will say, "NO, you can't search my car!"
I'll be here all week, please tip your waitress! Thank you!
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
KUTV2 News Sucks Now That's It's Number One
And I'll tell you why. I started my college career as a communications major. Wanted to do news. Newspaper, radio (which was a legitimate option at that point in 1977) or TV. I spent a couple of years doing news for KUER at the, "U". We were the five minute lead in for a new show they were carrying, "All Things Considered" for NPR.
And I learned alot about the news business in those two years. I had a professor who was also a columnist for the LA Times call me into her office one day and told me, "You can't write, and you can't spell, and you really need to find something else to do." And in the manual typewriter days, long before spell check, she was right. And she also was responsible for my 23 year career in law enforcement that made me the most decorated officer in the history of Adult Probation And Parole. She did me a favor.
And I learned that even in radio, you needed a face for TV to get a job. I had a face for radio, so it became obviously apparent that I had no future in broadcast journalism. And since I was already told I couldn't write and I couldn't spell? I went with the Sociology Degree, and an emphasis in Criminology and a minor in psych. And it served me well. Still does.
My kids have NEVER been successful at lying to me. I'm good.
So, now, I'm TOO cynical of broadcast journalism. And I'm glad that KUTV is doing well, and beating the locally owned, MORMON owned, KSL that is so busy reporting positive, Mormon stories, to the detriment of REAL news. But, this leads to other problems.
The amount of commercials is now, totally out of control! If you keep track, they run commercials for the four minutes they sign off at 5:26, right after the weather, which is the ONLY thing most folks tune into local news for, until the National News starts at 5:30.
They do that at the end of their 4:30 newscast too.
And they don't do, news, weather and sports. They do news, weather and JAZZ! That's all they cover and then they tell you they will tell you more sports on the channel those of us who are advanced enough to have DirectTV, don't get! And on top of that, the last minute of the, "alleged" sports, is some commercial for a biker ride, or fund raiser for someone! WTF?
They are sneaking in ANOTHER commercial! This would NOT work if we were all as smart as we think we are. So viewers? Start reevaluating your selection.
And I can't end this rant without commenting on, Lindsey, "What NOT To Wear" Storrs!. She's a competent, even great, "weather guesser". With impeccable credentials. But she is what, Chelsea Handler would call, "A hot mess"!
Lindsey? 1995 called and wants it's hair cut back! And who is picking out your clothes!
I risk sounding like a Gay Guy from, "Queer Eye For The Straight Newscaster" but for crying out loud! You dress like shit! TOO many angles, TOO much drama! You look like a woman from a 1930's film nor, but just a little more, "festive"!
Tonight, the woman had on a dress that had a collar that looked like she had some sort of a medical instrument around her head and neck. Like she'd had a bad fall.
I know, she went to tsds, so she's not going to put on a tight sweater, and that's not what I'm saying at all. It's just that the woman has such BAD taste in clothing, and hair cuts that I have a hard time believing that she could get this job at any OTHER market in America!
And most of the time, her jackets are SO tight, her mike pack on her back sticks out like a HUGE tumor. She is a total mess.
So, KUTV, cover some hockey, give us some sports on channels we can actually get, and cut out about four minutes of commercials at the start and end of each newscast, and since your #1, CHARGE MORE FOR THE ONES YOU DO SELL! Don't sell more! You're making yourself unwatchable.
And I've been picked by Arbitron, at random, THREE times in the last 20 years. And if they pick me THIS year? You're going down. I killed the trucking two hours on, Outlaw Country Satellite Radio two years ago, by just filling out my form, and my family's forms and sending them in. Act accordingly.
And I learned alot about the news business in those two years. I had a professor who was also a columnist for the LA Times call me into her office one day and told me, "You can't write, and you can't spell, and you really need to find something else to do." And in the manual typewriter days, long before spell check, she was right. And she also was responsible for my 23 year career in law enforcement that made me the most decorated officer in the history of Adult Probation And Parole. She did me a favor.
And I learned that even in radio, you needed a face for TV to get a job. I had a face for radio, so it became obviously apparent that I had no future in broadcast journalism. And since I was already told I couldn't write and I couldn't spell? I went with the Sociology Degree, and an emphasis in Criminology and a minor in psych. And it served me well. Still does.
My kids have NEVER been successful at lying to me. I'm good.
So, now, I'm TOO cynical of broadcast journalism. And I'm glad that KUTV is doing well, and beating the locally owned, MORMON owned, KSL that is so busy reporting positive, Mormon stories, to the detriment of REAL news. But, this leads to other problems.
The amount of commercials is now, totally out of control! If you keep track, they run commercials for the four minutes they sign off at 5:26, right after the weather, which is the ONLY thing most folks tune into local news for, until the National News starts at 5:30.
They do that at the end of their 4:30 newscast too.
And they don't do, news, weather and sports. They do news, weather and JAZZ! That's all they cover and then they tell you they will tell you more sports on the channel those of us who are advanced enough to have DirectTV, don't get! And on top of that, the last minute of the, "alleged" sports, is some commercial for a biker ride, or fund raiser for someone! WTF?
They are sneaking in ANOTHER commercial! This would NOT work if we were all as smart as we think we are. So viewers? Start reevaluating your selection.
And I can't end this rant without commenting on, Lindsey, "What NOT To Wear" Storrs!. She's a competent, even great, "weather guesser". With impeccable credentials. But she is what, Chelsea Handler would call, "A hot mess"!
Lindsey? 1995 called and wants it's hair cut back! And who is picking out your clothes!
I risk sounding like a Gay Guy from, "Queer Eye For The Straight Newscaster" but for crying out loud! You dress like shit! TOO many angles, TOO much drama! You look like a woman from a 1930's film nor, but just a little more, "festive"!
Tonight, the woman had on a dress that had a collar that looked like she had some sort of a medical instrument around her head and neck. Like she'd had a bad fall.
I know, she went to tsds, so she's not going to put on a tight sweater, and that's not what I'm saying at all. It's just that the woman has such BAD taste in clothing, and hair cuts that I have a hard time believing that she could get this job at any OTHER market in America!
And most of the time, her jackets are SO tight, her mike pack on her back sticks out like a HUGE tumor. She is a total mess.
So, KUTV, cover some hockey, give us some sports on channels we can actually get, and cut out about four minutes of commercials at the start and end of each newscast, and since your #1, CHARGE MORE FOR THE ONES YOU DO SELL! Don't sell more! You're making yourself unwatchable.
And I've been picked by Arbitron, at random, THREE times in the last 20 years. And if they pick me THIS year? You're going down. I killed the trucking two hours on, Outlaw Country Satellite Radio two years ago, by just filling out my form, and my family's forms and sending them in. Act accordingly.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Wrong Number
My neighbor, Ryan kept getting some really inappropriate, sexual, text's this afternoon. One was even a picture. His phone kept going off while we were in the, "Garage-ma-hall" smoking cigars.
I finally told him to call/text them back and tell them they had a wrong number, so he did.
The, "woman" who was texting him turned out to be a guy named, Patrick! Oh, that's just wrong.
After Ryan told him he was NOT a gay man, and didn't want his text's any more, it finally quit. But you have to wonder, how WRONG was that number, and where did it come from.
Crazy.
I finally told him to call/text them back and tell them they had a wrong number, so he did.
The, "woman" who was texting him turned out to be a guy named, Patrick! Oh, that's just wrong.
After Ryan told him he was NOT a gay man, and didn't want his text's any more, it finally quit. But you have to wonder, how WRONG was that number, and where did it come from.
Crazy.
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