I BLOG Because I Don't Have The Guts To Be A Stand Up Comedian

I grew up loving George Carlin.  Rich Little, Rodney Dangerfield.  Anyone that appeared on, "The Tonight Show."  I would beg my mom to let me stay up when ANY comedian was going to be on, "The Tonight Show".

Joan Rivers, Robert (I can't stop my leg!, Child of the 50's) Klein.  Loved it.  When I was finally old enough, and had a job while in college, to get cable TV, I had to have HBO.  Carlin and Klein OWNED HBO in the late 70's and 80's.

Gave me the opportunity to be on the cutting edge by having MTV when THEY started, too!

I have a friend who is a stand up comedian.  And I'm going to see her this weekend, in Las Vegas.

How do you know this woman, you might ask?  Was she from Utah?  Or Murray?  Nope.  We are, "face book friends".  Oh, you're saying.  You're not REALLY friends.  You just follow her and are going to a show.

Nope.  And I'm going to tell you why.

A few years ago, I was watching, Comedy Central in January.  And they have this competition where you can call in vote for your favorite comedian.  And I saw Lisa's show.  I thought she was very funny, and she didn't work too, "Blue", most of her stuff was about her husband and her son, "The Devil Tot".

My wife doesn't really like stand up.  She will humor me if I want to go.  Hell, she can't see shit but agreed to see Penn & Teller with me, not once, but twice this year, just because I wanted to go, and last month, wanted to take my son and his friend.  But I thought that if, Lisa Landry ever got to work the clubs in SLC, I'd make her come with me.  Blind people can HEAR the funny.

So, I went to find Lisa's web sight and it turns out she was on FB, and I could, "friend" her.  Awesome.  I figured I'd get updates on comedy club dates, and if she was going to be in SLC, I'd know about it.

Well, turns out, she was really working that FB page, cause she wasn't that famous back then.  And the night after I became a FB friend of Lisa Landry, I became a friend of, Lisa Landry!

She was in the chat room on FB. I asked her if she was really her, or if she paid someone to BE her in the chat thing.  Nope it was her.  We talked.  She was from Louisiana, Deb and I had just been there.  We talked about travel.  We talked about all kinds of stuff.  it was fun.  And we kept chatting for a while until she became famous enough that if she went into chat and DIDN'T talk to everyone, people would be pissed at her.

So we just talked by email.  Summer of 2010.  Lisa invites Deb and I to her tapeing of her new DVD at a club in Denver.  Put us on the VIP list!  Awesome!  We go, we are entertained, she's awesome, and we get to meet her after the show.  Now my FB friend is REALLY a friend!  We keep in touch.

Through our emails, she's told me she doesn't like to work Las Vegas, because they make you stay a week.  And she doesn't want to be away from her husband and son that long, so she doesn't take those gigs.  But she's still trying to book a gig at, Wiseguys in SLC.

Well, last month, she invites Deb and I to come see her in Las Vegas!  She got a Thursday-Saturday gig there!  Oh, HELL yeah I'm there.

Deb doesn't want to go.  To close to Christmas, too much to do.  Gives me permission to do it as a, "BNO" (Boys Night Out) so I talk, Phil into it!

And I know what some of you are thinking.  Hot, young, chick you're going to hang out with.  Leaving your wife home...

If you want to give a buzz kill to your possible future affair, guys?  Take your wife to meet the woman your friends think you're going to try to hit on the first time you meet her.  This young lady invited me and my WIFE to her show.  Because she's worried about Deb's eyes.  She really cares about my WIFE'S welfare.  Anyone who thinks different is up in the night.

Phil is coming with me to see the show, and buy his Christmas booze at Costco in Las Vegas.  And, because he's a good friend.

So, tomorrow, we leave for the long drive.  Friday, we shop at Costco and Trader Joe's (My kids have told me that I need to fill the back seat of the Audi with the vanilla, almond, cluster, crunch cereal, or they will be pissed at me.  What the hell.  They can't bust me at the boarder for bootleg cereal).

The bootleg booze will be int the trunk.  And I was a Cop long enough to know that I can, and will say, "NO, you can't search my car!"

I'll be here all week, please tip your waitress!  Thank you!