Merry Freakin' Christmas

This blog is addressed to wives of guys like me.  We're older.  We have some money.  We generally buy what ever we need, and for the most part, WANT, when ever we need or want it.  In the last 28 years I have taken my wife pretty much, where ever she wanted to go.  Cruises, Caribbean, Europe  and she buys jewelry.  What ever she wants.

She buys her own clothes.  Coats, shoes, what ever.  I don't have ANY idea what to buy this woman for Christmas.

So, ladies?  If you find yourself married to the same guy for 28 years, and you don't have a hobby like building dollhouses, or crafting, or, hell, I don't know, model railroading?  Then do your man a favor:

GIVE HIM A FUCKING CLUE WHAT YOU WOULD LIKE FOR CHRISTMAS!

I know it comes as a shock to most women, but we DO NOT read minds!  When you wake up on Christmas morning, and nothing you got for Christmas makes you happy, it's YOUR OWN DAMN FAULT if you husband has been asking you for suggestions for a MONTH!

You want to go see, "A Christmas Carol" at Hale Center Theater and you don't tell him?  You're not getting there!  You wanted tickets to see, Ballet West do, "The Nutcracker" and didn't tell him?  You wanted ANOTHER nutcracker and didn't tell him for that matter.  You're not getting it!

If you have a couple of leather coats.  A long one and a short one, and you wanted ANOTHER one, but didn't mention it to your husband?  Don't EVEN be disappointed on Christmas morning!

And until you have used up the lifetime supply of Victoria's Secret lotion/soap/body wash you would just love, so I bought it for you every year for ten years to put in your stocking and it's now turning brown on a bathroom shelf?  Don't tell me to go back there.

I swear, I've told lap dancers in Las Vegas that I liked their Victoria Secret lotion, and when they asked me how I knew what they were wearing?  I've told them, "I buy it for my wife every Christmas cause I think it's great."  They think I'm a great husband who really takes care of his wife the right way.  Then they realize that if was really THAT guy?  I might not be in a stripper bar.  Makes em think for a minute.  Just sayin...

You can see the wheels turning in their brains.  After all, they are all UNLV Political Science majors, just trying to work their way through college if you ask them...  But I digress.

So, ladies, if you have made it to a point in your life, that you can meet your own, NEEDS, and most of your own, WANTS?  Give your poor husband a clue.  Help him out.  At least steer him in the right direction.  If you want some sort of a lawn sculpture for next summer, or new computer program, and you end up with a pair of Cowboy Boots you'll never wear, and you haven't done that?  It's you own fault.