Welcome To Florida. The Icky Water State

As my friend, Jim would say.  And he's not all wrong.  A lot of the water in Florida is scary looking.  It doesn't look like death in and of itself, like, Lake Michigan.  But it's what's IN the water that makes you nervous.

We leave really, really early on Wednesday morning to fly from mountainous, desert, mostly dry Utah to Miami.

My son has never been to Florida.  His older sister has.  She doesn't want to go back.  She's too old for Disney World, and too Autistic to deal with Miami.

We don't move to the hotel with our Cuban tour group until Sunday, and we fly to Cuba on Monday.  So we will have four days in Miami.  And I got us a hotel right on Miami beach.  Used my Intercontinental Points to get it cheap too.  Yeah, it's a Holiday Inn, and that's good enough for me.

So, we will have four days where Deb and I will enjoy the great restaurants, and the beach.  And my son will be glued to the beach, where acres of Jennifer Lopez look alike's will be lying in the sand.  THONGS in the key of life.  He's 16.  I'm going to keep pouring water over his head so it doesn't explode.  Cold, cold, water.

In preparation for this trip, I made him sit with his mother and I and watch a NatGeo Channel show about the Everglades and the Crocodiles and Alligators that live there.  How the Salt Water Crocodiles can EAT in the ocean, but have to come back into, "The Glades" to drink fresh water, etc.

Trying to get the kid to pick up some smarts, any way I can.

He watched this, and said, "Why would anyone want to go THERE!?"

His mother and I tried to explain to him that we want him to see it because it's so different from here, where he grew up.  Mountains/deserts/dry, vs. flat/water/grass/ocean.  That it was a National Park.  That he could learn a lot.

Yada, yada, yada.  He was not interested.

By now, I'm getting pissed.  I've taken this kid to Paris,  Washington DC, New York, Chicago, Boston, Minneapolis, Los Angeles, San Fransisco, Las Vegas tons of times.  And even to Mexico.  He's 16 and he's on his second Passport.  I didn't get my first one until I was almost 40.

I finally just said to him, "Well, we're going because I want to go back and see it again.  And the other reason the Everglades is so interesting?  Everything that lives there can kill you.  So stay on the path."

And then I just shut up, and turned the channel to, Comedy Central.

I'm pretty sure I made my point.

And I'm really sure I'm going to blow his mind this week.  And after that?  He's going to freaking, CUBA!

I'm either the father of the century?  Or I'm terrifying my kid.  I guess I'll know by the time we get back to SLC.