Climate Change? I'm Living It!

It is the 19th of May in Salt Lake City. It's been raining for days, and it didn't get above 50 degrees today. I came home from the hospital, my mom had a hip replacement today, and built a fire in the living room because it was so cold!

I don't even have a fire place, just set the living room on fire to get warm!

Kidding.

The last two years have been way too cold. A few years ago, I bought a misting fan. It shoots water at you while it fans the patio in the summer. We used it until we killed it. Two years ago, I bought a new one. I don't think I've used it ten times.

Everything is a month behind the way it used to be, and we've only been in this house for ten years. Well, ten years on August first. The trees bud out a month later, the water peaks in the river a month later, we turn the sprinklers on a month later, and off a month later in the fall. Didn't start mowing until April this year, that's always been in March.

Used to run the gas out of the mower by the first of October so we could put Halloween decorations on the front lawn. Haven't been able to do that for the last few years.

That reminds me, I have to run the gas out of the snow blower this weekend. Or maybe not. I might need it if we go to Evanston, Wyoming Memorial Day weekend to decorate graves, just to find them! Put it in the back of the truck, and take it with us. Might save a lot of work.

I've almost used all the, "small wood" in the garage. The wood stove out there isn't very big, so when I buy a truck load for out there, I ask them to load the smallest logs. And I'm glad I bought a second load of regular logs for the inside fire place. I almost didn't, but it's almost gone as well. Too bad I didn't buy another box of, "cheater logs" (the wax/sawdust units I start the fires inside with) at Costco a month or two ago. If it's still cold tomorrow night, I might have to get all, "Daniel Boone" and build a fire like I used to when we didn't have any money. I would have to split some kindling.

Note to self: Do that BEFORE, Phil and EJ get here and we start drinking. A four pound trimming axe is not to be triffled with while liquored up.

This weather is awful! I came home from Mexico for THIS! Oh, yeah, I was burned out on the tropics, and the shell fish made me sick. I forgot.

But anyway, it's just not, "Spring Time In The Rockies" this year. Yeah, we have snow in the mountains, and you can still ski half a day in the morning and play golf in the afternoon, but you have to wear rain gear this year!

Monday, Danny and the boys had a soccer game out in South Jordan by the equestrian park, and it wasn't raining, so I wore shorts. Truth be known, I wear shorts most of the year, because my legs just don't get cold. But this time, it was a bad choice.

The, "Prevailing West Valleys" whipped around and right through my shirt and sweatshirt combo and I about froze. The Tilley hat did not help. It keeps the sun out of your eyes, but being designed for the tropics, it's not very warm.

The Murray Max put a 5-nil whipping on the kids from South Jordan that night, which lessened the pain of the cold (by the way, South Jordan folks? If your, overweight, slow, pasty, white kids are going to try to stay with the boys from Murray, and get embarrassed THAT bad? While still talking, "smack" and throwing elbows? Lose the horizontal stripe jerseys. It just exacerbates the white bread intake. Trust me. And I'm a fat guy. So trust me. In high school, they timed my, "40's" with a calendar, and I was faster than your boys) but this is just NOT the way May is supposed to be in Utah!

When I was in high school, I'd break out the, "Beach Boy's" tapes in May! The, Three Fountains Pool was open on Memorial Day Weekend. This year, if it's open, you will ice skate on it!

I'm not so much worried about, "The Rapture" coming on Saturday night per, "Rev. Camping". I am worried enough about the flooding that there might be a guy in an arc sailing by, and he won't have enough room for the Camaro!

This has been crazy, and cold. My son's soccer game tonight was cancelled because the field at Highland High was, "saturated". Really? You don't want to ruin it? I remember playing games for Murray High in the 70's when there was snow on the field. No one, back then, worried about what a game would do to the grass six weeks down the line.

I guess I should go upstairs and see how the fire is doing. And, "bank" a fire for tomorrow in case it's as cold as today.

If you don't know what, "banking" a fire is? You have never owned a house old enough, with a shitty enough heating system, to worry about that sort of thing.