Repatriation, And The Worst Fish Sandwich I Ever Ate

Woke up early on Thursday. We had to get to Cancun and fly out by about noon. Had to take the 7:30 Ferry, already paid for the cab to be there. Can't miss the flight.

Only one problem. While I'm looking at the paperwork. We booked the condo from the 5th to the 12th, so we had to be out on Thursday morning. The travel agent for the credit card company had booked our flight home, on the 13th. Now, having done this in February, and having done it over the phone, I remember changing the dates a few times.

I'm not blaming the credit cards TA, I'm thinking it's probably, "Pilot Error" on my part. After all, I have to call them between eight and five CST, and can't have MY travel agent do this, so mistakes can be made. I didn't do this late at night, and drunk, while on the Internet. it's just a screw up. It can be fixed. The bottom line? We got no place to stay, and no flight home. Shit.

Well, one problem at a time. I was a COP in my former life, I had to learn to adapt to different situations, and I can do this now. Objective one, get to the Cancun airport and go from there.

Deb is panicked. I have to keep telling her, "We'll take care of this. Calm down, don't MELT down, OK?" We pre-paid the taxi, so when we get off the Ferry, there is a guy there with a sign with my name on it. Problem one solved.

Once at the airport, we go to Aeromexico, and they tell us that it's no problem, just talk to their ticket people, and it can happen.

Ticket booth is empty. Big, "CLOSED' sign on it.

So I call the credit card TA people. No problem. I'll have to pay the change fee's (which for the life of me, I can't figure out how it cost's over $200 a ticket, to reissue the ticket for a different flight, when it's all done by computer) but I want to go home, so I just tell them to do it.

They don't tell Delta for an hour.

So I call them back, and they say they haven't done it yet, but I could just go ahead and pay Delta if I'd like and they won't put the charge they asked me to pay on my card. Yeah, I'll do that.

We get boarding passes. Thank God. And it only cost me about $400. I've had so much of the tropics this week, that I'm glad to pay it.

By now, it's 10:30 in the morning, Cancun time. We both had a granola bar bought at the airport, and that's all either of us have eaten since the shitty fish meal I had the night before.

Stuffed fillet of fish does not mean overcooking a fish fillet on a grill, and then covering it with a bunch of chopped up pieces of octopus and shell fish (which by the way, have given me gout to this day. I should have known better) in an awful cream sauce.

I used to LOVE Isla Mujeres because it was so different. Now, it's like Tijuana with an awesome beach. It's a shame.

This leads me to our next dilemma. We clear security, barely. I forgot and kept my sunglasses in my pocket instead of my carry on, and got sent back and, "wanded" about four times. The case must have been metal. I'm a terrorist for sure. Take one look at me.

We need to eat. It's going to be a two hour flight to Atlanta, with no food. And as we come out of the duty free shop, there is, "Jimmy Buffett's Air Margaritaville Cafe". Great. I know the food is going to be good. Best onion rings in New Orleans were at his place there. Great food in Las Vegas. Too late for breakfast at 10:30? No problem, we'll have lunch.

Deb orders a chicken wrap, I order a fish sandwich, and we both get ice tea to drink. Had I had any idea how bad the sandwich was going to be, I'd have had the tequila, and plenty of it.

I get this, "THING" that appears to be a bun, but it's so dark, and nasty it makes Russian Rye look like it's trying to, "pass" as, "white". And it has oats pressed into the top of it. I think that was to make me think it was healthy.

But it was so dry, I think it had been in Mexico longer than I had that week.

Inside this abortion was a fish, "filet" that had been breaded in shotgun load (I'm thinking about #8 shot) cooked to death, and then folded over to go inside the horrible bun (unfolded, the sucker had to be ten inches long. So trying to bite through it was twice as awful). It was covered in a dry tomato, some purple onion and served with tarter sauce ON THE SIDE!

Really? You don't put the tarter sauce ON the sandwich? WTF? NO fish sandwich, in the whole world, should be served with tarter sauce ON THE SIDE! It's a FISH SANDWICH! PUT THE TARTER SAUCE ON THE SANDWICH!

This sandwich was SO bad, just nasty. It was the consistency of the rubber stuff they used to put on ping pong paddles. You COULD chew through it, but why bother?

I used the plastic utensils to carve out some of the inside of the fish, and ate the crappy french fries. Not because I wanted to, but because I didn't know when I would get to eat again.

I've spent about, "a million six" on Jimmy Buffett's stuff over the years. Concerts, shirts, records, CD's. After yesterdays experience? That Fucker owes me breakfast!

When I got back to Atlanta, after two days of shitty food, I UPGRADED to McDonalds! I ate a Big Mac, and I don't feel bad about it. It got me back to Salt Lake City alive.

The iPad was not a total disappointment on the trip. I learned a lot. But I wish I had been able to do, "Chat" on Face Book, which I couldn't do. And I wanted to share pictures, and it wouldn't do that.

I'll go to the place I bought it tomorrow afternoon and see if they can tell me what I did wrong.

But, it did do some good stuff for me. I could listen to, "Radio Margaritaville" on line every night while sitting on the patio on the beach. And I could blog. Even though it wouldn't let me attach pictures. So it was not a total loss.

And coming home, there was, "wifi" on the plane. And I could connect with the ipad. And when I logged in, they said, "This one's on us" so I didn't have to pay for it! I thought they would probably bill me after a "free" hour or so, but no. I got the whole trip for nothing.

The down side of that? As I was listening to satellite radio, I had to hold the ipad up in the air, above the seats to keep the connection. So I spent four hours, looking like the, Statue Of Liberty, with my arm in the air. If I tried to put it in my lap? I got nothing.

As much as I love to travel? I'm SO glad to be home. It's been a long week.