Buy Local? I'd Love To!

I've got a friend in California.  He's a Conservative.  He just put up a FB post about how we should quit taxing rich folks, and should all buy local.

He's in the oil industry.

When you get up off the floor after hearing that an oil guy wants you to, "buy locally" when 35% of the product the oil company's sell comes from the Middle East, I'll go on with my story.  Go ahead.  Take a minute.

Yeah, I own oil company stock.  I HAVE to.  My investments are the only reason I could retire.  That doesn't mean I think they should still get the tax breaks they get, or treat the environment the way they do, but economic reality is what it is.

And yeah, I believe if you are rich, you should pay more in taxes.

His complaint is that the Government should quit giving shit to people who don't deserve it.  Well, if you're paying attention, you know that Government is ALL about giving people who don't deserve it, shit.  Like roads, Police and Fire protection, clean water, sewer service, garbage pick up, and at least here in Murray (God's own city) power and fiber optic computer service.  Which is why I can annoy Conservatives much faster than anyone else in the world!

With my taxes, I buy society (I didn't make that up, but I can't remember who said it first.  Oliver Wendell Holmes, maybe?  But I like it, so I'm using it).

Before Government gave us Social Security and Medicare and Medicaid, poor and old people starved!  And died when they shouldn't have.  Isn't that why we have Government?  To do shit for all of us that we can't do for ourselves?  I think it is.  And I think it's been that way as far back as the Greeks and Romans, and maybe, even before.

I guess if you're a Conservative, you only want the Government to provide those services to folks who DESERVE it.  Like rich folks.  Job creators.  And this brings me to my last point.  Buying locally.

In the last couple of years, I have spent money to buy the two most American things you can possibly, in your wildest dreams, imagine.  No, not a hooker and a Congressman!

A big, gas guzzling, V8, American Muscle Car, and a big, Model 1911, 45. ACP, stainless steel, handgun.  Designed right here in Utah by John Browning.  Who was such a selfless, millionaire, American that he GAVE the design to the Government because, well, his country needed it.

See, the US Military found out in the Spanish American war, that the .38 wouldn't stop pissed off Filipino's, and Cubans.  They needed a bigger gun.  So Browning came up with one.  And when he gave it to the Government?  They let everyone BUT Browning Arms build the sucker!  Colt made a fortune.  Hell, even Singer, the sewing machine people cranked them out in WWII!

Hotpoint, the appliance folks made them.  John Browning, rich, white, Mormon, American didn't make shit on his own design, because he did it for his country.

You know what I found out after I purchased both of these things?  I wasn't buying local.  I wasn't even buy shit made in THIS country.

The fire breathing, 0-60 in four seconds, premium only, can't drive it in the winter, gets, "Yardage" not, "Mileage", 406 break horse power, rear wheel drive, "American Dream" car of a kid who grew up in the 70's is made in?  Detroit?  No.  Canada!

Well, makes sense.  The, "job creators" have sent the jobs to a country with a National Health Care Plan.  So THEIR Unions don't have to negotiate health care.  And they can negotiate good wages and other benefits.  THEIR Unions are still strong.  While Conservatives here try to destroy OUR Unions.  Because they tend to vote against rich motherfuckers who will do everything they can to harm the poor, while making life easier for the rich.

And this next one is just, unreal.  I bought a .45 ACP (stands for, Automatic Colt Pistol, by the way.  Browning didn't even get credit for the calibre of the gun he gave the Military) from a company called, Springfield Armory.  Based in Illinois.  Can't get much more, "local" or American than that, can you?  A handgun from Illinois.  I feel good about this.

The original, "Springfield Armory" was established in, Springfield, Massachusetts by, George Washington to supply the Colonial Army. But I'm pretty sure the gun I bought owners manual said they were in Illinois.  I could be wrong.

Then I get the thing home, and read the owners manual.

The SOB was actually MADE in Brazil!  I want a, "Brazilian" on my wife.  Not tucked into the back of my pants because my son is playing soccer in Ogden, or West Valley City.

When I was in college, I worked in the Zinik's Sporting Good's store in Fashion Place Mall.  The worst, cheap ass, crummy handguns you could buy in the 70's were made in Brazil!  Now I, unwittingly, BOUGHT ONE!  I was trying to buy AMERICAN!

Turns out the guns are much better now, so it's a quality gun.  But still. I feel like I got sold a bill of goods when I was trying to do the right thing.

So the moral of the story is this.  If I can't buy an AMERICAN Camaro.  Or an AMERICAN .45 pistol.  How the hell am I supposed to know where my fucking TOMATO'S come from!  Buy LOCAL!  I'D LOVE TO!

I spent $43K on the Camaro and $600 on the gun and NONE of it was LOCAL!

I'm pretty sure that the only thing I can be sure I buy that's local is beer.  And I am pretty sure that  the bourbon I enjoy is at least, still produced in Kentucky.



Enjoy the Honeydew.  It's from Green River, Utah.  Trust me.