I'm Going To Jail On Sunday.

For 20+ years, I was in and out of jails all over the country.  I never used the front door.

I was always coming in the back.  In a Cop car.  Gun on hip, badge in pocket.  It was always pick up or delivery with me.  Mostly delivery.  Put the gun in the trunk, take the, "bandit" inside, drop him off, head back out to the streets.

But I picked up, too.  I used to take any extradition that no one else wanted in the office.  I had my caseload up to date, I could leave for a day or two or three and still not get behind.  I would travel with my friends, while getting paid for 12 hour days, mostly spent on airplanes.  And when we got where we were going, have a great meal, stay in a nice hotel and I got to keep the Delta Skymiles.  The state always booked us on Delta.

I picked up bandits in Gainsville, Florida;  Charlivoux, Michigan; Phoenix;  San Francisco;  Southern Illinois (don't even remember the name of the little town);  St. Louis;  Reno; Sacramento;  Las Vegas (MANY times); Elko; Evanston, Wyoming;  Gunnison, Colorado;  Chicago;  and, believe it or not, Buffalo, Wyoming.  It's 112 miles north of Casper, Wyoming.

My parolee said it was the best jail he'd ever been in.  The Sheriff's wife did all the cooking for the 12 inmates, and the food was awesome.  And on top of that?  He got a pack of cigarettes and a role of toilet paper, every other day.

THAT is Parolee Heaven!

All jails smell the same (it's NOT pleasant) and look, pretty much the same, too.  And I always went in the back door.  And out the back door.

Not on Sunday.  I am going to walk in the front door of the Salt Lake County Adult Detention Center to tell my wife's nephew that his grandmother is dead.  And it's not going to be a pleasant experience.

They need us to arrive 45 minutes early.  They will check our IDs, run us for warrants, search us for weapons and then let us in for a 30 minute visit.  I hope it's face to face and not through the glass.  For my nephew's sake.  He's always been close to his Aunt Debbie.

Not me so much, but he has done me some favors.  I won't tell you his name or what favors.  I don't want him to get shanked if he ends up back inside again.

So this is going to be an experience I've never had before.  I'm going into a jail as a civilian.  At least I'm not going in the back door as a bandit.