I Get A Lot Of Feedback On Pictures Of My Friend

• I just changed my Facebook picture to one of me with my friend, Lisa Landry, the Comedian, when she was here in SLC in April.
  
  Lot's of people liked it.
  
  When Deb and I met her, she was 60 pounds heavier.  No one thought she was hot, but I thought she was pretty.
  
  Then she loses all this weight.  And when Phil and went to Las Vegas to see her in December of 2011.  And he kept saying, only cause we had been drinking all day in my condo there, "You didn't tell me she was SO pretty!"  I think he said it ten times.
  
  Since Lisa, not even knowing Phil, came off the stage, and knowing me, and that I was there with a friend, walked right past ME and hugged and kissed Phil on the cheek.  Kind of blew his mind.
  
  I finally told him, "We didn't drive 600 miles to see her cause she's so pretty!  We MARRIED pretty girls.  We drove all this way cause she's so FUNNY!  Get over it!"
  
  Now, I posted a picture of me with Lisa, when she was here in SLC last April.  Lots of comments on FB.
  
  My son said it all when he said, after meeting Lisa at our house a few years ago, "Dad, your friend is HOT!"
  
  OK, I get it.  She's a really pretty girl.  My best friend and my son thinks so.  So I believe it.
  
  But I don't see her that way.  Pretty is just a bonus.  She's the funniest comedian in America in my opinion, and I KNOW comedy!
  
  I loved her work when she looked like a woman who had just had a baby!
  
  I'll post some pictures, you decide.

The first one is Deb and I when we met Lisa.  The second one is her last album cover.  Truth be known?  I think she's hot in BOTH photos!

You decide.

Listen to her album.  If you think she's funny?  Good.  Does it matter that she's pretty?   If you like comedy, it shouldn't.

End of story.

I Never Thought I'd SAY This, But...

I might want a SMALLER car!

I know, you all that know me are calling bullshit. But I shit you not.

I thought the next stop for Debra Jo and I would be an Audi A8.  Not a NEW one.  That's foolish!  They want $110K for one of those?  I can get one a year old for about what I would pay for a new A6.  With lots more trunk space.  And a V8, or V10.

But today, I dropped off the A6 for some minor repairs at the dealer.  Only because it required THEIR computer to figure it out.  And they gave me a really, sweet loaner.  Q5 2.0, black on black.

Drives great, has lots of room.  So I did some research.

I could buy a six cylinder model of THIS car, with a TDI!  That gets 31 MPG on the highway.  Has 340 BHP and all the bells and whistles, for about $20K LESS than I paid for my A6.  In 2006!  And I don't feel like I would be losing ANYTHING in either luxury or performance!

I really thought my SUV days were over.  Since it became VERY obvious, that taking a blind woman out in the woods, or the desert to tent camp when she would have to make her own way to the outhouse, if there WAS one, was just a bad idea.

But I could be comfortable in THIS car.

No, it's not A8 luxurious.  It doesn't feel like a limo.  But the truth be known?  I don't NEED a limo?  It's just Deb and I.  Danny will be off in college next year, and Meagan, the Autistic is 25 years old and does not like to travel, so I'm not going to make her.  She's grown up now, and can make her own decisions.

So, Strong Audi might have just undersold a good customer, by giving me a car I could love when it's not the one I thought I loved?  Sounds like a country song.

My A6 is far from done.  But I'm starting to heavily covet a Q5.  And all our bills are paid.  Maybe, Danny would LIKE the A6, we could sell the Focus, and he could....

OH STOP IT!  I have to quit thinking like this.

Even when it's half the price of what I was GOING to buy?  I don't need to buy it yet.

I think I'll pick up my A6 tomorrow, and enjoy the ride home

Traveling NOW, VS. Traveling THEN

When we were young, meaning my friends and I, well, and my wife too.  We could travel at a moments notice.

You want to go to Southern Utah for the weekend?  Break out the 98 quart cooler, fill it with food, beer, ice.  Get the tent, the sleeping bags.  Make a stop at the liquor store, fill the Isuzu with gas and off we go.  Oh, don't forget food for the dog.  Or the DOG for that matter!

We knew what we needed, knew where it was, and could throw that stuff together in a few minutes.

Now?  Not so much.

I'm going to go to Denver this week with my friends, Phil and Al, to see my friend Lisa Landry the comedian, and I've been planning it for a MONTH!

Once we all decided that we were going to go, we had to all agree on what day we were going to leave.  We had to decide WHICH show we wanted to go to.  Well, if Phil can't get Thursday off, we have to leave on Friday, so we better book the late show on Friday night.

Then I had to find a hotel close to the show.  Buy the tickets on line, print them off and make sure I have all this stuff in one place, so I won't forget it when we leave.

Then, starting last week, I had to get the car ready.  Check the oil.  Half a quart low.  No sticker in the car telling me what my mechanic put in it, so I had to call him.  Mobile One Synthetic, 5-30.  Turns out I HAD a half a quart of that in the garage, cause it's what I use in the Camaro.

Fill the washer fluid.  Check the tire pressure.  Get the car washed, cause I at least want to START the trip with the car clean.

Check my prescriptions, make sure I have enough that I don't run out while I'm out of town!  Never did THAT when I was young.

Spent today paying the bills that are due the first week of the month in case it snows in Wyoming on the way home, and we are stuck in Cheyenne for a week to ten days, turning our under ware inside out, that is if we can GET a motel room, so the mortgage doesn't get missed and BOA jumps all over us and by the time I get home, the house has been foreclosed, and Deb and the kids are living in my mom's empty condo with no furniture or cable and cursing my ass.

Tomorrow, I have to go fill the car with gas, pay any OTHER bills that have arrived, on line of course, just to be sure, and I hope I don't spend all night awake, worrying about what ever it is I forgot!

Man, might be easier to just stay home!

Any one up for an impromptu trip to the southern Utah desert?  Oh, never mind.  I can't camp any more.  I would have to plug my CPAP machine into a Current Bush or I might die in my sleep from Apnea.

Man, life changes when you're old.  I finally understand why my mother liked Erma Bombeck books, and I never thought they were funny.

Time To Call, Bullshit!

I keep losing friends on Facebook because I tell the truth.  Tonight, I got scalded by some friends mother, who kept kicking my ass and asking me questions, while blocking my response, and telling me, "You're as arrogant as Obama!"  For having an opinion that is different from yours?

Why don't you just go ahead and call me, "An uppity Nigger" too?

Racists, jerks.  I have booted all of the whole family off MY FB page.  I don't want to live in that world.

I don't mind having friends who disagree with me on FB.  I enjoy debate.  And some of my closest friends, I disagree with totally in political matters.  Chuck Markham, I'm talking about YOU!

But last week, we spent hours together playing pool with our friend, Al and we are still and always will be friends.

But I have a problem with people who just don't pay attention.  If you work paycheck to paycheck, you don't have health insurance, and you don't have a pension coming from your job?  And you vote for Republicans?  You are not paying attention.

And if you are in THAT category and you are against, "Obamacare" cause you think it's socialism?  Again, you are NOT paying attention.  What are you going to do when you get old and sick?  Rely on Medicare?  THAT would be SOCIALISM!

I have to laugh at the Tea Baggers who were holding up signs that said, "Keep your GOVERNMENT hands OFF my MEDICARE!"   WTF?  Where do you think MEDICARE comes from?  Dumb ass.

And this government shutdown is NOT the fault of BOTH parties.  It is TOTALLY in the laps of the Republicans.  They don't want to fund, "Obamacare" cause they are scared to death that it will WORK!  So they are throwing a temper tantrum.  Jerks.

I don't have to worry.  I have a bunch of money.  I have a pension paid by the state.  Cause I EARNED it!  My wife and daughter are both getting SS disability, so even if they don't get paid?  They still have Medicare.  Which they should.

But there are a lot of folks out there that are going to be hurt by this.

And my friends mother, who was hating on Obama and blaming HIM for the government shut down, was saying that she was OK with it as long as her medical insurance was in tact and she got her Social Security check in the middle of the month.

When I pointed out that she was hating the government, but counting on her benefits?  I was a total jerk, and, "as arrogant as Obama." 

I'm the uppity nigger now?  That can be the ONLY explanation  for THAT kind of response.

These right wing, Tea Bagger, nut ball idiots are SO racists, and dumb about how the world works that this county is fucked unless we slap them down.  And hard.

If you think the Democrats are responsible for this bullshit?  You just don't pay attention.  And if you think it's OK the Republicans are doing this to prove a point?  Don't complain when your Social Security Check doesn't arrive.  You voted for the jerks.

It's The Most WONDERFUL Time Of The Year...

I know I'm going to get a hard time for this.  But so be it.  I'm going to put myself out there and say that college football is the greatest game in the world.  Yeah, yeah, I know.  I love hockey.  At all levels.  I've even been known to enjoy a soccer game my son IS NOT playing in.

But college football is the best.

I know, America's Pastime is, or was Baseball.  Let's face it.  The NFL rules now.  Even NASCAR, which used to be only limited to people from the south who actually KNEW where, "Moonshine" came from, cared about that sport.  Now, you have stadiums of 200K Rednecks, watching a bunch of other Rednecks in fast cars make 1500 left turns in an afternoon, and waiting for someone you are NOT rooting for to crash into a bunch of other guys you're not rooting for so the guy you ARE rooting for, can win!

I understand the attraction to the NFL.  It's pretty glamorous.  But there are problems with it.  It's pretty, "mercenary" any more.  When I was a kid, a guy would spend his whole career with one team.  Now?  Not so much.  You get drafted out of college, you spend three or four years with a team and have a great career.  Even win a, Super Bowl!  Little kids in town are buying your replica jerseys!  They clamor for your autograph!  You are a local hero!  How could life get any better?

Well, if they offer you more money to play in Cleveland?  THAT could be better.  I don't like that.

And guys who have no reason to like the Miami Dolphins, or Dallas Cowboys (ESPECIALLY, the Dallas Cowboys) LOVE those teams!  They live and die with the Pittsburgh Steeler's, but they have never been east of Denver?  WFT?  That isn't loyalty.  That's trying to always pick a winner.

I find that folks who are college football fans are so, because they WENT to that college.  And that instills some loyalty, even when your team sucks.  I know a guy who lives in Utah and still has season tickets to Maryland, and flies back every week in the fall to watch his team with his brother who also went there.  Because that was his school and he PLAYED college football there.

That last part is NOT required to fanatical.  But I'm sure it helps.

How much do you have to love your college when they suck as much as Maryland, or Indiana, or Duke, or Vanderbilt, or Kentucky, the list is endless, to do stuff like that?

Now, THIS kind of loyalty is not always the case.  Notre Dame fans who did NOT go to Notre Dame, and BYU fans who did not GO TO BYU are the WORST kind of college football fans!

Yes, Jerry and Todd, I'm talking about YOU!  Just live with it.

If you live in Provo and all you know is BYU football?  OK.  If you live in Chicago and all you know is Notre Dame?  OK.  Hell, I was born in West Virginia, so I root for them.  But BOTH of my parents went to school there!  So I have a reason.

But blind loyalty to a religious school is, in my humble opinion, misguided.  If not totally wrong.

I know somewhere there is a college with a football team called, Presbyterian.  I was raised one, but I wouldn't root for them.  Even if I knew where they were!  Seems silly.

OK, I told you all THAT to tell you THIS.

My wife asked me tonight, what I was going to watch.  And I told her I was going to watch, Florida Atlantic @ Eastern Carolina.  Then later, on the PAC 12 Network, I was going to watch Sacramento State @ Arizona State.  And she said, "Why?"

I told her... no I didn't, I just thought it for a few seconds, but I THOUGHT about saying it.  Then moving out:  "Cause it's college football.  And I love college football, you know this.  How many trips have we taken over the last 30 years to places you wanted to see, because there was a Utah game there?"  Would you have EVER wanted to see Ann Arbor Michigan if the Utes didn't play there?  New Orleans?  Tucson? Ft. Collin's, Colorado?  Laramie, "FREAKING" Wyoming?  Corvallis, Oregon?  Eugene, Oregon?.......

The list is endless.

What I really said was, "I like college football!"

Then she said, (and she REALLY said this.  I shit you not...), "I can't imagine anything more irrelevant to my life than teams from Florida Atlantic and Easter Carolina playing football!  And you watch this all fall!"

To which I replied, "Says the woman who spends 40 hours a week watching re-runs of, NCIS, CSI: Panguich, Las Vegas, New York and Provo, The Mentalist, The Good Wife, The Big Bang Theory, Two And A Half Men, Hawaii Five-O and any show about finding serial killers and child kidnappers, like you didn't get enough of ALL of that at WORK for 20 years?!"

Her reply was, "NO I DON'T!" and to walk into the bedroom and turn on the TV.

College Football one, network gibberish zero.

So, I'm in the dog house (what else is new?)  But it doesn't matter.  It's college football season, and it's great.

Saturday night, I told her I was enjoying having all the college football so much, that I might just order the NHL Center Ice package again, since I loved watching all the Redwings games with the local guys doing the game.

She said, "So, you're telling me you're not leaving the house until June?"  Pretty much.

Oh, we'll go to Belize and Mexico.  As long as it's after the Bowl Game are over, and they have ESPN on the, "dish" down there.

Is there a college game on Friday this week?  Just asking...

Linda Ronstadt, Loved, Hated, Will Be Missed

When I as a kid, I was in love with Linda Ronstadt.  She was not only the best singer, she was so beautiful.  I thought she was awesome.

The best experience I think I ever had at a concert was seeing her at the Huntsman Center at the, "U" with my friend, Kelly Richards (who really wish I had KEPT DATING another blog there) and she just blew us away. The voice was amazing.

Kind of lost touch with Linda for many years, but a few years ago, I saw she was doing a show out in Wendover!  I thought that would be awesome.  So see one of my childhood, "hero's" as it were, up close and personal.  And with Deb not being able to see very well, I would buy really good seats, and SHE could see an icon from our youth up close.

I paid $150 a ticket for fourth row center (as close as I could get).  Over $150 for a room on a Saturday night, plus the cost to drive out there and dinner.

And the show sucked.

She came out, and did a an hour of shit from the 80's while sitting in a chair, with the Nelson Riddle Orchestra.  No, Silver Threads And Golden Needles.  No Blue Bayou.  Total shit show.  And in an hour, she walked off without even an anchor.

Pissed me off.  I spent about $500 to see this person I loved and admired as a kid, and she gave me crap!

I'm not happy she's sick.  But I'm sure disappointed that she didn't do a better job for her fans when she COULD have.

Purging The FB Friends List. It's NOT Cause I'm Angry With You.

We've all done it.  You get a friend request, or, "People You Might Know" thing pops up.  And you just say yeah, what the heck.

You kind of knew this person in high school.  Or it's a friend's, now adult, kid (and that kind of makes me feel creepy if they are a young woman).  Or it's a friend of a friend you have met once or twice.

You accept.  Thinking that you would like to know what these folks are up to all these years later.  Or what they are thinking.  And after a while?  Turns out what they are thinking is not at ALL what you are thinking, or they just don't post ANYTHING so you wonder why they bothered to get onto Facebook in the first place?  They are just taking up space.

About twice a year, I get rid of those folks.  It's not cause I don't like them.  Not cause they pissed me off.  Well, sometimes it IS cause they pissed me off.  If everything you post is hating on the President?  I'm tired of hearing from you.

I go down the list of my FB friends, and I start deleting people who have not said anything in a while, don't post at all, won't respond when they are on chat, and those I realize that I had NO idea why I put you on my friends list in the first place.

There were about 220 folks on my friends list when I started.  I'm down to 192.  And I'm OK with that.  I can pay more attention to 192 people than 220.

Guys I played hockey with years ago, but haven't kept in touch with?  Gone.  People from high school that said they knew me, but I don't remember them?  Gone.  Friends adult kids that I have nothing in common with, and some I DO really like?  Gone any way. People from high school who I DID know, but don't ever post, respond to chat or do ANYTHING on FB?  Gone.

Two things I noticed as I was doing this.  One was the folks who have deleted ME from their friends list.  I'm not surprised.  With my political and religious views?  Hell, I could piss off the Pope.  Even THIS one.  And he's pretty Liberal.  My friend, Phil thinks the Italian's in the Vatican are going to, "Whack" him if he doesn't shut up.

That will teach em to pick a, Jesuit and an educated guy to be in charge.

Oh, there I go AGAIN!  Can't help myself.

The second thing was how many of my friends are DEAD!  I'm not talking old relatives.  I'm talking folks MY age, that I either worked with, or went to school with that have died!  Cancer sucks, and it does NOT care how old you are.

I deleted about six or eight friends who have died in the last couple of years!

And I noticed something else.  My friend, Kathy that lived in Provo that died of Cancer last year?  I CAN'T  delete her page.  Someone is keeping it going and it consists of her friends and family posting how much they miss her.  I really loved my friend.  But I have to say, I think this is weird.  I said my goodbyes the last time I saw her.  Get over it folks.

So, if you are unfriended, as I have been numerous times.  Don't get bent out of shape.  No matter who you are?  You are not EVERYONES cup of tea.  And that's what makes life interesting.

Now, the 192 of you left of the 220 or so I started with?  Let me know what you think.  I'm curious.

It's About Over

She limps.  All the time.  She can't move very fast.  Chasing tennis balls is out of the question.

I had a total hip replacement seven weeks ago, and I can go up stairs faster than she can.  And that isn't right.

She spends most of her time on her bed, or on the carpet in the living room in front of her, "human units".  She will wander down the hall late at night to sleep on the floor next to her, Momma.  But she can't jump up on the bed between us anymore.

She was the best friend for my Autistic daughter.  Pretty much her ONLY friend. 

She was the being that got nervous when the suitcases would come out, cause she knew we were leaving.  Even though, "Grandma" would come and take care of her, and spoil her and give her more, "puppy treats" than any dog ever deserved.

She knew when any one of us was sick or hurt, and spent time in our lap, or at our feet.

The muzzle is SO gray!  All the way up PAST her eyes.

When she was young, she was so excitable, and would chase a ball as long as you would throw it.  We decided she was not a Black Lab.  She was a, Meth Lab!

We used to buy tennis balls by the case at Costco cause a can at a time was just not good enough.

Now?  It's about over.  She has a hard time getting in and out of the house.

I'm going to miss this old dog.  It's August.  She's 13.  Not a bad age for a, "Meth Lab".

With any luck, one night, she will just slip into the arms of Morpheus while she sleeps and dreams of chasing tennis balls.  I really hope I don't have to have her put down, but I understand that that is probably the way it's going to end.

It's going to be tough on us all.

But its not far away.  I can just tell.  You love them and you lose them.

You might, if you've never had one, say, "Well it's not like losing a family member."

You would be wrong.  And deserving of a punch right in your neck.

If you have the right kind of relationship with your dog?  You don't keep them outside in a kennel and use them only to help you hunt game?  Which is cruel and stupid.  You will realize that loosing a dog is EVERY bit like losing a family member!  They are part of your family.  And you have to love them and treat them as such.

I'm going to miss this dog.

Every day is a bonus.  I don't think the bonus will last until September.  But I hope it does.

Hang in there, Solstice.  We don't want to lose you.  But we know we will.

Oh, It's THAT Time Of The Year When You Can't Have It Both Ways

Summertime.  You gotta love it.  Warm days, cool nights.  But now it's August.

College Football camps open this week.  Games actually start BEFORE September.  Thank you/Fuck you, ESPN.

I love college football, as do most of my friends.  It is the best game in the world.  But it sure means the end of a time of year we all love.

The, "Beach Boys" records get put away, the cover goes on the Camaro.  There is a very fragrant pile of freshly cut pine on the patio.  My back yard smells like a lumber yard.

And it's going to get cold.

You can't help it.  It is as it is.  Sweatshirt weather.  Cold nights.  You are going to have to pour the ice out of the outside dog bowl every morning.

And we are just around the corner from Winter.

And all that sucks.

But would you have it any other way?  Nope.  Love college football.

So this might just be the cruelest time of the year.  You want to hang on to summer, but you know you can't.  Not if you want your college football fix.

And that is cruel, man.  Really cruel.

Lighten The Fuck Up!

Last night, I posted a joke at the expense of a high school friend who was not know as very bright.  Yeah, it was cruel.  But the truth is, she had about as much chance of being a Sterling Scholar at I had being elected Homecoming King.

And I got a lot of shit for it.

Oh, shut the fuck up!

If it wasn't on Facebook, no one would come to her defense.  When it's not on line, they all talk about her the same way.

It's Facebook!  It's not the Congressional Record.  Let it go.

We all know our place and our history.

So quit it.  Just roll with the punches.  So it goes.

Uppity

Uppity:  Tending to be snobbish or arrogant.  Usually followed in print and every other way in THIS country by the word, "Nigger".  No definition needed.

I love my wife's family.  Wonderful people.  But there was a post on Facebook the other day from one of her niece's to the effect that it's not right that the President gets to take his family on vacation on the taxpayers dime!  And to such exotic places!  After all, when, "W" was President, he ONLY went on vacation to his ranch.  None of these far away (read: UN-American places).

Well, "W" took more time off than any President in history (which is not a bad thing. I think he did LESS damage while on vacation).  But the tone of the email was really telling.

THIS President shouldn't be able to take vacation on the public dime, but she had no problem with the rest of them doing it?  Gosh, what could possibly be the reason for that?  Cause she didn't vote for him?  Probably.  Cause he's a DEMOCRAT!  And everyone in Utah hates THOSE guys!  Maybe.
Could it be that THAT UPPITY NIGGER DOESN'T KNOW HIS PLACE!?  I'm betting it's this one.  Just sayin.

I had to point out to her that her father, who made his living in the Military and then when he retired from there, the public school system, has ONLY worked as a public servant his entire, adult life.  He has flow on, Military, "Hop's" to take her mother and he to vacation in Hawaii.  And other places.

And as for not taking vacations to, "exotic" places?  Wow.  She must hate her aunt and I.  We, public employees both, even though we always paid our own way, like to vacation in places like Paris, Grenada, Mexico and Belize.  I guess we are totally UN-American?

So, my feeling is, if you don't like this President cause of his politics, or even just because he's a Democrat.  Fine.  I can live with that.

But if you think HE should not be able to do what every other President has done for the history of this country?  And THIS President should have to fly Southwest to take his family on vacation instead of Air Force One?   There is something else there.  You know what I think it is?

See, "Uppity".

Trayvon, Zimmerman And The Untold Story

If the trial was all about whether or not this flabby, middle aged guy was getting the shit kicked out of him by a teenage boy and felt his only option was to use his gun to save his own life?  Then under Florida law.  The jury got it right.

But that is far from the WHOLE story!

He stood his ground, alright.  But he stood it WAY too late.

Look, Zimmerman is the neighborhood watch guy in his gated community.  You can call him a want a be Cop all you want, but there just isn't enough information to make that statement.  Maybe he's just a guy who was tired of crime in his neighborhood. And he stepped up to do something.

BUT...  When he called in a, "Suspicious" person, someone he didn't recognize, in his community, his job, as a Neighborhood Watch guy was over.  End of story, you are out of it.  The Police are on the way.  The dispatcher even TOLD him to quit following the person that he called in, and the Cops were going to take care of it.

And this is where he SHOULD have stood his ground.  Right where the dispatcher told him to cut it out.  They would handle it from here.

But he didn't.  He had to follow the kid.  And the kid felt threatened.  No one has any idea what, if anything was said between them.  Did the kid say, "Why are you following me?"  Did Zimmerman say, "Hey, I'm with Neighborhood Watch.  Do you live here?"

Who knows.  But between Zimmerman's phone call to 911 and Trayvon beating him up, Zimmerman screwed up.  And it cost a teenager his life.  And that's not right.

And yeah, I think the guy should have gone to prison.  But it's not going to happen.  And anyone who is surprised by this verdict, coming out of the state that stole the election for Bush in 2000, isn't paying attention.

If there were any REAL justice in this country?  George Zimmerman would be sharing a cell with OJ Simpson, and they would both be serving life for Murder.  Well, "life" being as long as it took one of them to make a good, "shank".

Dope. I Don't Smoke It, But I Might...

Despite my pro legalization Letter To The Editor in last Friday's Salt Lake Tribune, I don't smoke Marijuana.  I tried it a handful of times in high school and college, and all it ever did was make me go to sleep.  I got the same effect with a couple of glasses of white wine, and no one was going to put me in jail for, "Possession Of White Wine".

But I'll tell ya what.  If this hip surgery doesn't happen soon?  I'm about to try to find some of my friends who still smoke the herb, and see if they will fix me up!

I HATE narcotic pain pills.  I don't like the bleary eyes, the foggy thinking, the constipation.

And Aleve and Advil are just not doing it.

And I don't want to keep drinking!  That aint' right.

So maybe it's time for one of my buddies to roll a joint with a really curly top, and it's kind of fat in the middle.  And I could smoke me in EFFIGY and see if it takes away the pain!

At this point, I'm willing to try everything.  I think I can make it to Wednesday.  But if they set it back again?  I'm looking to get high.

Just a thought.

Why Is, "Stand Up" Such A, "Saussage Fest"!?

If I was a woman, I'd be pissed.  Hey, I'm a MAN and I'm pissed!

I know that stand up comedy has always been a male dominated job.  From Bob Hope to Zane Cook and, Nick Swardson, guys who were NOT funny got a LOT more Movie/radio/TV/satellite radio time than the women comics.

And I know stand up is a hard job.  Cause after all, if it was easy?  Zane Cook and Nick Swardson  would STILL be doing it.

As it is?  Zane is wishing there was just ONE more, Jessica Simpson movie they needed him for in the works.   And Nick is wishing, "Reno 911" was still on the air, and he could get a couple more seasons of being the Gay, male, prostitute standing in front of, "Taco's, Taco's, Taco's, Taco's" on that show!

They canceled his series on, Comedy Central faster than, "Crodmandoon And The Flaming Sword Of Fire".  Now THAT has to be a record.

The comedy hall of fame is still started with that, stuck around too long, not funny in the end, Bob Hope.  But he earned his place.

No one will question Bill Cosby's place in the comedy pantheon.  Those were the first albums my mother gave me as a kid in the 60's.

George Carlin is the undisputed king, or stand up comedy.  No one can touch him.

Richard Pryor, Rodney Dangerfield, Eddie Murphy?  Oh, no question, RIGHT there!  Same league.  No one can shit on these guys.

Johnny Carson, Jay Leno, David Letterman, they all EARNED their place in late night TV by being GREAT stand up comedians first.  No question.

Didn't work out so well for Dick Cavett, or Joey Bishop.  Or, Aresinio Hall, or, Chevy Chase, or countless others!

So here's the deal.  If someone who was a short lived,  nominal comedian like, Flip Wilson, and a guy who wasn't EVEN a comedian, like Dean Martin, could get a show on network TV?  Why is Carol Burnett the only WOMAN who could do the same thing?

Why have not Mom's Mabley, Joan Rivers, and Rita Rudner not got their own shows.

Well with, Mom's, it's obvious.  She was MOSTLY famous BEFORE TV.  And she's WAY dead. Just seeing if you were paying attention.

Joan Rivers should have taken over, The Tonight Show from Johnny.  But she pissed him off.

Rita Rudner is still filling houses in Las Vegas, even though she hasn't been on TV like HBO since the 1990's.

But tonight, (and truth be know, a lot of time since my friend released her album) I have been listening to, Comedy Central Radio and Raw Dog Comedy on Siriusxm.  Just hoping that they will play her stuff.

A few summers ago, when my friend, Kelly McGuire was here to do a concert in the back yard, I told him, "I heard, Boat In Belize on Radio Margaritaville yesterday!"  And he said, "Great!  THAT'S another, $1.40!"

He was being a smart ass, but still.  It has to do a guy good to know he's getting airplay on siriusxm!

The only woman I have heard on siriusxm is, Amy Shumer.  I really like, Amy Shumer.  She is SO funny.  But I have a feeling that since Comedy Central just gave her a SHOW?  That might be why she's the only WOMAN they are playing.

All the women out there who not only LIKE women comedians, but who ARE women comedians, need to rise up and get their place.

I'm in for some money to put together another, "Women Of The Night" on HBO.  What is that web site you can post a project and people contribute?  Just sayin...

Lighten Up, Francis!

You remember the scene in the movie, Stripes where they are sitting in the barracks and the new soldiers are all telling the others about themselves?  And the guy they called, "Psycho" says, "Any of you HOMO'S touch me?  I'll kill ya!  You touch my stuff?  I'll kill ya!  You call me, Francis?  I'll Kill ya!"

Then the Sargent says, "Lighten up, Francis."

I'm feeling like Sgt. Slugowuski today.  Why is everyone so serious?

I posted two jokes on Facebook yesterday.  One was about my wife, the blind woman, calling me in the middle of the day to ask for the combination to the gun safe.  Now that's some funny shit right there, I don't care who you are.  How many ways can you go with a line like that?  I mean, she can't SEE the keypad, and who's she going to shoot that couldn't just keep moving away from her?  There are a million possible punch lines to that statement.  ONE friend noticed it, and hit, "like" cause she thought it was funny.

The other joke was about women always wanted to change men.  They meet you in a bar where you are drinking and smoking, and marry you, then they want you to change!  I thought that was pretty funny.  No less than SIX people came un-f******-glued at me!  One old friend implied I was hating on women, cause men want their wives to look like supermodels and cook like they should have a show on, The Food Network!

A former boss seems to think I'm drinking myself to death and my wife is constantly bitching at me.  Neither of which is true.  It was just a joke!

Another friend seems to think I was telling the world I am dying and wondered how long I was going to be around.  I'm having a HIP replacement not a HEART transplant!

One old friend even wondered why I would bring that shit up in the first place?  Cause it was funny?  I THOUGHT it was funny.

When I first got to know my friend the comedian, we ONLY communicated by email and Facebook messages or chat room (until she got too famous to use the chat room) for months.  Never talked face to face, didn't talk on the phone.  I never even thought to give her my phone number until she was driving out here last summer and wanted directions.

But one of the first things she said to Deb when we finally did meet face to face was, "Your husband is so funny.  He should be doing stand up."

She got it.  And we had never met.  So how come folks I have know, sometimes since we were teenagers, think I'm a woman hating drunk with a death wish.  And yet I don't believe in an afterlife, so that doesn't make a lot of sense.

I studied Sociology and Psychology.  I KNOW that most communication is non-verbal, when folks are talking face to face.  Voice inflection, facial expression, tone, body language all deliver a message.  But when I have gone out of my way to tell anyone who's paying attention, that when I'm on FB, I'm doing, "Sit Down Comedy", cause I don't have the guts to be a Stand Up Comedian.

When I told this to Lisa, she said, "You kicked down doors in meth labs, and you're afraid to get up on a stage and tell jokes?"

I told her, yeah.  If I was doing a no knock search warrant in a meth lab, and someone FOUND a BOMB (and it happened) I knew how to deal with that.  If I was up on a stage and WAS the BOMB?  That scared me.

So, for the thousandth time, if I say something on FB you don't like?  Before you go off, take a second and ask yourself if I might be trying, even though it could be badly, to make a joke.

Now, if it's about politics or religion and pisses you off?  Well, that's probably NOT a joke.  I'm a total left wing Liberal and an atheist.  So no, I don't respect your denial of global warming and evolution and I don't respect your religious traditions.  That doesn't mean I won't like you as a person.  But I won't stop eating to let YOU say grace in MY house, OK?

And I'm not a total jerk about it.  If you're Jewish?  I'll be happy to keep the cheese off your burger at the BBQ in my backyard.  But don't expect me to give up the pork cause God told YOU it was a bad idea.

Oh, and for my Mormon friends, the few I have left, who are asking yourself, "What's the religious difference between a hamburger and a cheeseburger?"  It's not Kosher to put the dairy on the meat.  We'll talk about shell fish later.

I'm joking again.  Lets see who gets it?

I Miss My Friend, Dave

Nelson.  Nielson.  Saw his name spelled both ways.  He never seemed to care which one was the right one.

We met when we went to work for Youth Corrections closing down the old, State School in Ogden and opening the new, Decker Lake Youth Facility in West Valley back in 1983.  We hit it off immediately.  He liked whiskey and college football, and Golden Eagles Hockey.  So we hung out away from work a lot.

He liked Deb, and we had just met.  But turns out, Deb was not a big fan of Dave's.  And I found out later that she had pretty good reasons.  He never did anything bad to her, treated her with nothing but respect.  But he pulled me into some situations that could have been ugly.

I left Youth Corrections after six months and went to work for The Juvenile Court.  It was a regular job, with regular hours.  I was a Probation Officer.  Mostly sitting in offices, counseling kids and families and writing reports for the court's Judges.

Dave and I stayed friends.  We had some adventures.  Some epic travels to places like Jackson Hole and Yellowstone.  Many times with our friend, Tracy.  Crazy nights spent at, The Million Dollar Cowboy Bar, and other places.

But Dave had some problems.  Mental health problems that he tried to self medicate with alcohol and marijuana.  His mom had spent some time in a mental hospital, and I think Dave was suffering the same way. And the self medication didn't work out for him.  Got him fired from the State.  He went to work in the insurance industry, and that didn't work out either.  He ended up in social services in Davis Country, but another DUI got him fired from that job.

According to his last girlfriend that I knew, who was much younger than him, he was drinking all the time.  Started every morning, and drank all day at work, and all night at home.

One night, he shot up his own house when she threatened to leave him.  The Cops came and took away his gun.  He wanted me to buy him another one the next day.  I bought him a sandwich instead, and told him no.

He was pretty good with his money.  He was never broke, and never out on the street.  Always had a nice apartment and a nice car.  Even when he'd been fired from work.

Last time I saw Dave, Deb and I were living in West Jordan.  Meagan wasn't very old.  Danny wasn't born yet.  And out of the blue he called one day and asked if he could come out for a, "Dog Day" Friday with my friend, Phil.  So I gave him directions.

When he got there, it was pretty obvious that his life was out of control.  He'd pissed himself.  I gave him a pair of my work out shorts, that I never say again.  We was drinking like crazy.

Deb wanted me to throw him out, but I couldn't do it.  I let him stay for dinner.  And I'm glad I did.  Cause it was the last time I saw him.  He had great and grandiouse plans, which it was pretty obvious that a guy sitting on your patio in YOUR shorts cause he pissed himself driving out to your house, were never going to happen.

I often wonder if he had gotten the proper mental health help, would he still be here with us?

Cause a few weeks after this visit, I heard that his brother went to check on him in his apartment and found him dead on his couch.  He had no resources, and his father wouldn't have anything to do with him, so the Country buried him.  I have no idea where.

He was one of the smartest guys I ever knew.  He was awesome with delinquent kids.  He was so talented in social work.  Loved cars, and good music.  The outdoors, Yellowstone, Teton Park, and Jackson Hole's cowboy bars.  He was the most interesting man I think I have ever known.

And he pissed his life away.

I miss him cause I think he would be really happy for me.  For how well I've done.  For Deb and I being together for 28 married years.  And he would LOVE the, Bitchin' Camaro and going to see my friend, Lisa do comedy with me in Las Vegas.  I really miss this guy.

I don't tell this story as some cautionary tale.  I'm not making judgements.  I'm just missing a friend tonight.

When I go get my hip replaced here shortly, Dave would be the guy who would show up with a mini bottle of Jack Daniels and a pack of Dunhill Cigarettes (He wouldn't know I quit smoking in 2003 since he's been dead longer than that!) and I never mix alcohol with narcotics.  Which might be why I'm still alive, and he isn't.  But it's the thought that counts.

So, here's to you Dave!  I miss you.  You're pictures would be ALL over Facebook, and your precence  would be regular in, The Garage Ma Hall all winter and the back yard all summer.

So it goes.  You win some, you lose some.  And you really miss some.  I miss you Dave.  But I was lucky to have you in my life for a little while.

Here's The Deal With Owning A Muscle Car...

The, "Bitchin' Camaro" has a Corvette engine in it.  It's 6.2 Liters which converts to roughly 380 Cubic Inches.  It sports 406 Break Horse Power with the automatic transmission.  It would be 426 BHP with the stick, but I'm lazy at my age so I bought the automatic.

This thing is so tightly strung that every bump in the city feels like it will shake your teeth out.  It's a race car.  With air conditioning.  No doubt about it, it is a RACE CAR!  The suspension is stiffer than a wedding prick!

I have the Audi for a daily driver, and for long trips.  It's so much more comfortable to be driving.  But if you want a, "toy" car?  Something to drive just for shits and giggles?  I highly recommend the Camaro.  It's faster than your thoughts about the hot chick who checks you out when you buy a sandwich at Crown Burger.

It's bigger than my friend Phil's Porsche, so I can sit in it.  Comfortably.  And every where I go in it, I get treated like I'm driving the Bat Mobile.

Today, we stopped at a rest stop on the way home and a guy in a nice looking Mustang GT who has stopped to have a smoke, gave me a thumb's up as I drove out past HIS car!

A little while after I bought it, a guy in a mini van actually leaned out his window and did the two handed, "I'm not worthy" wave when I turned a corner around him.

I didn't buy the car in an effort to GET attention.  But it sure seems to GET attention where ever I go.  Every time I go get gas at Costco, guys from other gas pumps come over and want to talk about the car. 

Women?  Not so much.  They will just look at me and say, "That's a really pretty car."  To which I just say, "Thank you.  It's fun to drive."  I mean, what else can I say?

"Hey, baby, you're hot for the car?  You want to go for a ride?"  Nope.  I'm not that guy.

But my friend, Deb, who I've known since we were 8 years old loves the Camaro.  I call her, "My Hippie Girlfriend" cause she hasn't changed since the 70's.  And she loves my wife.

She loves it when we go to lunch and I pick her up in the Camaro.  She likes me to floor it, cause she says it makes her feel skinny again!  That's some funny shit.  That's a centrifugal force joke.  And that's funny, I don't care who you are.

And if you don't know what centrifugal force is?  My blog is way over your head.

I have owned the muscle car since March of 2010 when they first brought back the Camaro.  Deb didn't want to travel in it, cause she only rode in it in the city where it's, "bumpy".  We haven't taken it any farther away than Park City for lunch with Phil and Jami in their Boxster.

Well, this weekend might have changed her mind.  We took it to Wendover to see Ron White and have dinner with our friends, Allie and Mark because it was Allie's birthday.

And that sucker runs pretty smooth at about 85 on a good, smooth highway.  And with the ground effects package, it planes out REAL nice at about 100 MPH.

So I can see us taking the Camaro to see our friend Lisa the comedian in Denver or Las Vegas, or to the Jimmy Buffett show in Vegas in October, since much of the highway between here and there is 80 MPH, so that means I can lock in at about 90 and be good.

And when you drive a muscle car?  And you have to pass a truck, or someone going slow and shoot the gap?  And you have 400 BHP?  You can DO THAT SHIT!  You just put your foot on the floor, and you go from 75 to 120 in a HEARTBEAT!  It is literally, THAT fast.  If you didn't have a head rest?  You would have a whiplash. 

And I know about the tires.  "Z" rated.  "Speed" rated.  Pierelli.  I know that's misspelled, but it's what's on the car, and it's really my only choice.  You don't buy this car to put tires that are rated for 80 thousand miles like you would put on your mom's Buick.  It just wouldn't be worth having the car, if it was not going to perform like it should, would it?  Of course not.

So driving fast is a good thing.  Driving REALLY fast is a an extra good thing.  Hey, if I get caught?  I'll pay the ticket.  But the truth be known?  With the license plate I have (EXCOP) I don't think I'm going to get written up.  Regular folks think that Cops look after each other and they get pissed about it.  But the truth be known?  We do.

Sorry regular folks.  Live with it.

So now that I have more than 10K miles on the original tires, I guess I've got to start shopping for tires.  I love it.  I love shopping for tires.

And I love my Muscle car.  Yeah, it's an expensive, "toy".  My wife doesn't like to ride in it around town.  And you have to buy Premium gas (but I have to do that for the Audi, too.  So what the fuck?). 

Having a Muscle Car is awesome.  I only have ONE.  And I love it.  But it's not for everyone.  And it should NOT be your only car.  Cause it's not real practical.  The trunk is shit, and the back seat is a joke.

But other than that?  I LOVE it!

I STILL Cannot Go In A Bar In Utah

I retired on June 16, 2006 after 23 years of working for the State of Utah.  The last 18 years of my career I was an Adult Probation And Parole Agent.  In Utah, that means you are a Cop.

I retired because I'd had enough.  A man I considered a friend as well as my boss dumped a bunch of garbage cases on me cause he was too lazy to deal with the Agent who wasn't working and just figured I'd clean it up.  He figured wrong.  My dad was circling the drain, and about to leave me enough money that I didn't need to work any more.   So I decided not to.

I don't miss the job.  Even if I miss some of the people I worked with.  Not by any stretch ALL of the people I worked with, but many of them.

If I miss the job, I watch a couple of episodes of, COPS on TV and it reminds me why I would rather be in Paris, or a beach in Belize than in a trailer court in West Valley City.

But there are some things that have stayed with me, and I don't know if I'll ever be able to shake them.  I can't go to a bar in Utah.  And I proved it again tonight after seven years of not working.

Before Deb and I became AP&P Agents, we used to enjoy going to private clubs (remember those?).  I played hockey for several of them.  We enjoyed going out for dinner, or dancing.  Meeting friends before and after Golden Eagle's games.  But shortly after becoming, "the law" all of that changed.

Every time we would go into a club, we would run into a, "bandit" one of us knew.  It was an uncomfortable experience.  And if you wanted to drink, you couldn't take a gun with you.  So why go to a bar?

We all but quit dancing.  On the other hand, we started to eat in nicer restaurants.

Tonight, an old friend from Three Fountains (holding up FOUR fingers.  It's required) was in town from Florida where he makes his home now.  He wanted to get together with some friends at a bar for a few drinks.  So I figure I'd go for a little while.

After all, because of some pending surgery I can't drink, I'll be having ice tea.  And I have a CCW Permit so I can go, "heavy" as they say in, The Sopranos.  Everything should be cool.  And it was.

It was nice to see old friends.  This place had amazing tea!  Very refreshing, I had two glasses.

But some thing's never change.  Even without realizing I was doing it, I sat with my back to the wall, and my eyes on the door.  I was looking at every one's belt line, looking for signs of a holster or a gun.  Every guy with a tattoo got a twice over to see if they were Prison tattoo's or if he just loved his Harley as much as he loved his wife.

You remember that stupid color code the Bush Administration was never going to let get down to green, just to keep people ginned up about terrorism?  Well there is a similar thing in, "Cop World", but it's actually useful.  And I might get the order wrong, but you'll get the idea.

White:  You fell asleep on your couch watching a college football game.

Yellow:  You are up a up and functioning.  You can heat up soup, and not burn yourself.  This is where most people live their lives.

Orange:  You are working the street.  You need to be ready for anything.  Remember, concealment hides you, but cover stops bullets, where's my tree?  How can I get out of here if I have too?

Red:  Holy Shit!  The bullets are flying, I need that TREE NOW!  In a fight, front sight!  Shoot for center body mass!  Where is my exit?  How many rounds are left in this magazine and do I have time for a tactical reload?

Living in Red doesn't happen much.  They always said law enforcement is long stretches of absolute boredom punctuated by short bursts of total chaos.  When the fire fight, or fist fight, or what ever is over, no matter how good of shape you are in, you will be exhausted.

But living in Orange takes a little out of you too.  You are being tuned just a little higher, and tighter.  And you can do that if you do it eight hours at a time, several times a week.  But sitting in a bar, among friends, when you haven't been doing it for a while?  That kind of takes the fun out the gathering.  At least for me.

So, I didn't stay long.  And I'm not sure the feeling will ever go away.  Maybe the next time he comes to town, if he doesn't want to come over here, or have dinner at Italian Village, we should try Starbucks?

An Open Letter To Jim Matheson

Jim, it's time to go.  I think you have been in Congress long enough.  And I truly believe that in the beginning, you went to serve in Congress for all the right reasons.  You really felt like you could help Utah.  But somewhere, along the line your motive changed.

It became all about keeping Jim Matheson in Congress, what his constituents really wanted be damned.

You never would put, "DEMOCRAT" on your campaign signs or literature.  And lately, you've gone out of your way to make sure everyone knows you don't support, Obama Care for your poor constituents.  That you didn't support the Presidents stimulus package to bring more jobs to the working poor.  You vote like a Republican most of the time.

For a while, you could cajole your Democratic supporters by reminding them that you were still really with them at heart.  But you had to vote this way to stay in Congress.  And wasn't it better to have a Democrat who voted with you SOME of the time, instead of a Republican who would vote against you ALL the time.  But now?  Not so much.

As the Prophet, Jerry Garcia once said, "Choosing the lesser of two evils, is still choosing evil."

I'm tired of there being no one there to look out after MY interests at all!  The things your Democratic supporters care strongest about?  You vote against us on all of them, and with the Republicans.

And this last election was about as bad as it could get.  You allowed the regurgitation of Republican talking points by Mia Love to make her look pretty polished compared to you.  After all, you spent all your time trying not to say ANY thing that would offend ANY one!

I can't take it any more.  After all, what's the difference if every congressional districts in Utah belongs to Republicans?  The way you vote?  They already do.  So, instead of giving you money, which would be a waste of it, I'll send a check to Al Franken, or Elizabeth Warren, or someone who thinks like I do.  And hope they can beat back the wall of dumb that is the entire delegation from Utah.

And this time, you are in for a much tougher fight.  She's going to run again, she'll have a lot more experience, and more money.  And your name won't even have to come up.  She can just rare back, T-Off on President Obama, remind people that her opponent is in HIS Party, and she will drive you all the way down the fairway and into private law practice.

And I don't want to spend time listening to hours and hours of campaign bullshit.

So, I figure you have three choices.  Drop out.  You have no support left from rank and file Democrats.  At this point, most of us will vote for any one but you.  Yes, I'm talking about a YELLOW dog, but NOT a BLUE one.  This would be the honorable thing to do.  You would give a new, fresh face in the Democratic Party a shot to gain some experience, and when Love explodes in a giant puff of stupid, and has to spend a lot of time defending her parents immigration status during her one and only term.  That Democrat might be in a position to pull off an upset in the next election.

Run again.  I don't think you have a chance to get out of convention this time.  If you do, I'll be a delegate, and so will a bunch of my friends who are so fed up with your BS that it will be worth getting up early on a Saturday to see you sent packing.

Third, and this is probably your best option, and will show your true colors.  Switch Parties!  You would be doing us both a favor.  Democrats and Republicans, I mean.  The R's get an experienced contender, and they wouldn't have to run the embarrassment that is Mia Love, the Anchor Baby From Haiti who's parents can't explain how they got here.  And the D's can run ANY ONE BUT YOU!

This would be a win win for us all.  And, you would get what you really want.  Not to be a good representative for the people of Utah.  But to make sure Jim Matheson keeps his cushy job as a Congressman!

And the minute you make the announcement you're going to do that, cries of, "Oh, that's awful!" will ring out from NO ONE I know.

Good luck, Jim.  Finding a law office, I mean.

Solicitor Or Missionary. Same Thing

A solicitor is a solicitor.  Whether you're trying to sell me frozen meat, or your religion, you are still bothering me.

This morning, about ten o'clock, I'm getting ready to get in the shower so I can go watch my son play soccer.  The door bell rings.  On a Saturday morning?  That usually means one of the neighbors needs help with something, or wants to borrow a tool.  So I put on my robe, turn off the water and go answer the door.

Missionaries. Mormon Missionaries.  Like they don't already pretty much have the place locked up.

I have two, "No Solicitors" signs on the front of my house.  One on the stairs that lead up to the door, one on the door.  It's pretty hard to miss.  I would think this would let a person of average intelligence know that I don't want to be bothered.  I guess these guys are not of average intelligence.

Being my usual, cheerful, willing to suffer fools gladly, self, I said, "What the fuck are you doing bothering me?!  You can't READ?!  Did you not see the TWO, No Soliciting signs on the front of the house?"

He says, and I shit you not, "We're not solicitors.  We're, The Missionaries".  Like that makes him exempt from the social contract some how.  "The Missionaries", like you are the ONLY Missionaries in the WHOLE WORLD.

So I tell him, "Bullshit!  You are soliciting new members for your bullshit religion!  Some people ring the bell and try to sell me a vacuum cleaner, you are selling BULLSHIT!  Now go home, go to college, have sex with some girls, drink some beer, learn HOW to think, not WHAT to think!  And don't ever come back here again!"

I was pissed.  I can't believe that these idiots think that somehow, the rules do NOT apply to them.

I will say that the kid had pretty good timing.  And he was lucky.  Cause if he'd come here while I was watching the Red Wings this afternoon?  I would have shot him in the head!

Let's Talk About, "Entitlements", Shall We?

The Republicans want to cut your Social Security.  They want to cut your Medicare, Medicaid, and food stamps.  They want you to have to PAY for health care in the richest country in the world, when most of the REST of the world, who's smarter than us, has it for free. They will NOT agree to rich people paying more in taxes, but they have no problem with more taxes on the MIDDLE Class, which is about to cease to exist.

They will not agree to background checks to buy a gun, when 87% of the country WANTS this!

Yet, this week, Texas Governor, and total idiot, Rick Perry asked for Federal Disaster Relief after a PRIVATE, UNREGULATED, BUSINESS, blew up and wiped out the town of, West, Texas!  Really?  You got some balls on you, Rick!

You're Senators voted AGAINST FEDERAL aid for New York, New Jersey after Hurricane Sandy. An, "Act of God" in YOU'RE vernacular.  But you want the Feds to step in and help out when this private, business blows up and takes a town with it?

Well, I have to say that I speak for the American people who HAVE an education, who were not, "home schooled", who don't believe in an, "Imaginary Friend Who Lives In The Sky", who don't feel the need to carry a gun every where they go and say"  FUCK YOU!

You got nothing coming!

Suck it, Rick!  You want to succeed from the Union?  Good on ya!  And Good Riddance!  We will all be better off WITHOUT Texas!

And THAT being said.  Who is it that wants an ENTITLEMENT?  The poor?  The old?  The disabled?  Nope.  Not in Rick's book.

It's the businessman who's plant levels a whole town, cause he didn't get inspected by THE GOVERNMENT!  For TWENTY YEARS!  WTF!  Really?

Deregulation is working out pretty good for you in Texas, Rick?  Really?

Hypocrite, thy name is, Republican.

You are entitled to not win another election.

Pop Country Really Sucks...

I don't listen to, "Pop" country.  Think it sucks.  I admire all Taylor Swift has accomplished, but I won't buy her albums.  Kenny Chesney does some catchy tunes, but he's three decades behind, Jimmy Buffett.  So he needs to stick to corn fields and high school football, and let the pros handle, "Trop Rock".

Then there is, Brad Paisley.  I only know about this guy cause when I'm really bored in the afternoon while waiting to go to a doctor's appointment or something else, I have been known to turn on GAC.  The songs mostly suck, but the girls are pretty, and it's mindless entertainment for a few minutes.

He's done some funny videos.  And I've heard some funny songs by him.  But he always impressed me as a kind of, "Novelty Act".  He'll sing you a funny song about his box of cigars being destroyed in, "a series of small fires", and shit like that.  And he's a pretty good guitar player.  But not exactly a musical heavy weight.

Other than that?  I don't know shit about this guy.

Now, it appears that he has produced the WORST song EVER, with, "Accidental Racist".  I TIRED to go watch it tonight on line, but even YouTube has pulled it!  How F***** Up does what you posted have to be to get pulled from, YouTube?  That is just wrong.

I saw him on the Leno show, and I think the guy was sincere about his wanting to bring rap and country together.  I don't really believe this guy IS a racist.  But boy, he sure missed the boat on this.

He was about a mile off when he tried to copy RUN/DMC and Aerosmith getting together for, "Walk This Way".  And I only can say this from the TINY parts of the song I HAVE heard.

If Steven Colbert is kicking your ass?  Your ass needs to be kicked.  I'm just sayin...

So, that being said, and as much as I try to follow pop culture, I had no idea where, Brad Paisley is from.  When he wasn't controversial?  No one else did, either.

Now?  Every story about this starts with, "Country singer, Brad Paisley, from WEST VIRGINIA..."

Fuck.

Between this and those idiots in that show about drunk teenagers, dying?  Really?  Can we ever live down our reputation?

My father was a rocket scientist!  His brother, Toby was a school counselor with a Master's Degree and a high school baseball coach that coached, John Kroc to MLB!  My mother had a teaching degree from WVU.

I have taken my kids back there many times, and explained to them their, "Hillbilly Heritage" and the Scotch/Irish folks who settled this part of the country.  I'm PROUD to be from West Virginia.  And I'm proud my kids know about West Virginia's role in this country's history.  After all, we WERE the Virginia on the RIGHT side of history.

And now?  What are we known for?  Being poor, too right wing, less teeth than any other state, and, Brad Paisley.  Oh, and coal.  I forgot about the coal.  Maybe cause I never SAW a coal mine until I was in my 20's and drove to Central Utah.  No coal in MY part of West Virginia.  Only mountains, and trees and beauty.

So, thanks, Mr. Paisley for making us all look bad again.  I know you didn't mean it, I understand what you were trying to do, and I appreciate your effort.  But man, you are really, really clueless.

I guess that's a statement about the West Virginia schools...

Oh, I need to stop it!

Bottom line.  NOT all West Virginians are racist.  But many are.  Not all West Virginians are uneducated.  But a lot are.  Not all West Virginians are right wing, gun nuts.  But, well, truth be know?  MOST are.  I have to admit.

But I'm a West Virginian, and I'm WELL educated, as were my parents, and I'm a left wing, Liberal, Democrat.  Who loves guns and has a lot of them.

So don't be too hard on West Virginia or Brad Paisley.  I think he fucked up.  But I think he MEANT well. Just sayin...

Why Medical Care Is Outragous In This Country.

I ended up in the emergency room for a nose bleed that wouldn't quit this afternoon.  And I didn't get home until nine o'clock at night.  This is only the second time this has happened in my life.

I've had nose problems all winter.  Got it treated in a ENT's office last week.  Guess it didn't work.

Tonight, the doc in the ER opens this package of equipment, all of it metal, that has a tool to open your nostril so he can see in there, long tweezers, scissors and a couple of other things.  And starts working on me.

The bottom line, the cauterization did NOT work, so I now have a sponge of some sort, a, "nose tampon" that I have to leave in there for three days, and I'm on antibiotics cause my left sinus can't drain, so I can get an infection.

When they finally tell me I can go home, the nurse is cleaning up and I asked her, "You don't throw those tools away do you?  They're metal.  Don't you put them in an autoclave?"

She says, "No, they get thrown out.  You can take them home if you want.  They used to use ones we kept, but they don't any more."

Yeah, I need a nostril, "opener" on a regular basis.  I guess I should have taken the scissors and the long tweezers, I probably could have used those at some point.  After all, I'm paying for them!

Why do we do things like that in this country?  It's wasteful, and it's expensive, and we have the technology to make that equipment clean and available for the next guy with a bloody nose!  But it's better for medical equipment makers to sell the same shit over and over again!

It's not better for the patients.  It's more expensive for the hospitals, and this is where you would think that there would be some resistance to the whole thing, it's more expensive for The Insurance Companies!  It makes no sense.

Even the nurse couldn't explain it.  This stupidity benefits no one but guys who make expensive, disposable, medical equipment!  Even in Cuba, they are smarter than this.

RIP Civility

Maybe I only notice this cause I was a Sociology Major.  So I kind of see behavior in, "groups".  Groups of cooks, groups of a race, groups of a religion, I tend to generalize behavior I have observed to each group I see it in.

But I've noticed that in our society in general, no matter what subgroups you belong to?  No one has an, "Internal Rear View Mirror" any more.  People are so focused on what is right in front of them, and what is bringing them satisfaction of some kind at the moment, that they don't give, to quote, Kurt Vonnegut, "A flying fuck at a rolling donut" about how their behavior affects anyone else around them!

You are on your cell phone in the left lane, and going ten miles an hour under the speed limit?  And there is a line of cars behind you a mile long?  So what?  Can't you people see I'm on the phone?

Or you're old and won't drive fast in your Toyota Camry, and you won't get out of the left lane?  Fuck you!  I'm going the SPEED LIMIT!  Go around on the right.

Well no one made YOU the speed limit Sheriff, and if I had to pass you on YOUR right?  YOU are in the WRONG lane, not me.

You are old and still write checks, but you wait until the checker at Harmon's has processed your entire shopping cart before you START to write out your check?  You're an asshole.

Tonight, The Blind Lady and I went to a concert at, The State Room.  Best place in town to see a show.  And some dick, walked down the isle with his cell phone/video camera and stood right in front of us, and recorded the on cour, so we couldn't see it.  Despite the fact that there were numerous signs in the venue that said do not use flash photography, and video recording is NOT allowed!  And when they introduced Robert Earl Keen, the introduction told people to NOT do what he was DOING!

So not only did he not care about the people he was blocking from the show?  He was ignoring the signs and the rules of the place!  How is this OK? 

We're on the, "Do Not Call List" and yet, our land line gets at least two calls a day from telemarketers.  Congress passed a law mandating that commercials could not be LOUD effective last December, but no one is complying.  I have TWO, "No Soliciting" signs on my front porch and front door and I STILL get people who ignore it trying to sell me everything from steaks, to lawn care, to fruit, to their dumb ass religion!

What have we come to in this country that no one listens to other people?  No one thinks about how their behavior effects others.  No one CARES about others feelings, or how their behavior will effect others.

A few years ago, after I bought the Camaro, I passed a guy in a pickup truck, going half the speed limit with the truck full of furniture.  It was in a passing zone, and I understood he didn't want to spill his load.  I get it.  As I went around him, he sped up, at the risk of his own belongings, and tried to cut me off, then yelled at me at the next stop light!  How is THAT an act of war?  I didn't, "disrespect" him, I just passed him.  In a passing zone.  Cause he was slow.  Which is why we HAVE passing zones!

I'm going to go out on a limb hear, and join a group I hate, the NRA, and suggest we adopt their attitude.  Everyone should carry a gun, and when you get treated with uncivil behavior?  You shoot the motherfucker.

You stand in front of me at a concert?  Bullet in the back of the head.  You drive too slow in the fast lane?  I'll quote, David Wilcox:  "I flashed my lights, I blew my horn.  I have to consider him warned.  So I took out my gun, and I blew him away!"

I think the NRA might be onto something here.  If everyone had a gun at all times, and could just shoot people who pissed them off?  I imagine people's behavior would improve a LOT!

I don't think we should return to Victorian Times.  But is it too much to ask that people just consider how their actions effect everyone around them?  I don't think paying attention is too much to ask to be a member of this society.

And Republicans in Congress?  I'm talking to YOU, too.

Coming Home To Roost...

Provo might have to close it's airport because of, "The Sequester" of Federal funds.  Good!

You idiots down there keep voting for morons like Mike Lee?  You get what you deserve.

You keep TRYING to be a real city, by getting air service, and then you lose it for LACK of service.  Yet the Federal Deficit is NOT the problem. And Obama didn't cause it.

Bush did.

So you signed on to something so repulsive, that you thought the President, and the Senate would HAVE to listen to your total, unadulterated bullshit, and cave in?  Not going to happen.  You guys are CRAZY stupid!

Now?  Live with it.

You HATE the Federal Government.  Until you NEED the Federal Government!  You people are total jerks.

And I hope none of you have to fly in or out of Provo!  Could be as dangerous as flying in or out of Ambercris  Caye, Belize when I had to tap the pilot on the shoulder as we were about to take off, and tell him there was a plane about to land.  On the same runway.  He pulled off into the grass, let it land and then took off.

THIS is what you want with LESS government?  Really?

Morons.

Old Dog

She snores.  She sheds.  When you let her out late at night, and you have to, she wanders around the lawn, and sometimes just lays down in the grass for WAY too long, until you go out and find her.

She is turning gray, and she's already turned slow.  She spends most of her day on her bed, or on the carpet in front of the fireplace when there is one in there.

She parks herself in front of the vent in the bathroom in the hallway sometimes when it's really cold, cause there is a vent there and a fuzzy rug.  Spends the the night in there sometimes in the winter.  Likes it better than her bed in the dinning room.

She's slow, and old and we love her so much.

I miss sleeping with my dog.  When she was younger, we, well, MOSTLY, Deb, would get up with the kids, cause I worked nights.  And let, Solstice out and then Deb would come back to bed.  And, Solly would come into bed with us.

The, "Meth Lab" would jump up on to the bed, and cuddle down between us.  She loved being close to her, "human units".

The problem with this, not in MY mind, but in Deb's is that the Large Black Dog would sleep with us with her BACK up against her, "Doggie Daddy", and her paws next to her, Mom.  And when she had dog dreams?  She kicked the SHIT out of Deb! If you have a dog, you know what I'm saying is true.

We used to buy tennis balls by the case at Costco.  We don't play tennis, never did.  But the, "Meth Lab" would go through them like crazy when younger.  Now?  Not so much.

It's all she can to to pick on up, let alone chase it.  She's old.

She's now on her bed, and I covered her up with one of the old dogs, "blank-ies" we bought for her years ago.

Last night, I brushed her in the living room between periods of a Red Wings game, and took enough hair off this dog to make another one.  And it's only going to get worse.  Come May and June?  We have a fur lined house.  She sheds like crazy.

And all things considered?  I'm going to miss her SO much.  She's been part of the family for 13 years now.  But the truth is, she's not going to be around much longer.

The first Lab lasted 14 years.  And when we lost Samantha, I lasted TWO days before I got another one.  I don't know what I'll do when we lose this one.

But she's awesome.  And she will be missed.  And I think my kids will both miss HER a lot more then they will miss ME when I go.  As well they should.  Solstice was a better, "Person" than I ever was.

Sleep tight, old, black, dog.  We'll do our best to take care of you as long as you stick around.

The Police Should NOT Be The Military.

We have made a big mistake in this country.  We declared, "War" on drugs.  "War" on gangs.  And then we started hiring former soldiers to carry out that war.

When I got hired by the state, I had to have a degree in Sociology, or Psychology to get my job.  Now?  Not so much.  We are hiring former military guys to be our Cops!  And this is wrong.

These guys know how to kick some ass, and shoot up the place.  But they have NO people skills!  They don't know how to talk down a mentally ill guy.  Being in the Army does NOT make you a good candidate to become a Cop, and deal with people on the street.

It makes you tough, and physically fit.  But it doesn't make you mentally able to talk a guy out of killing himself, or YOU!  It doesn't make you able to understand gang culture, or any OTHER culture for that matter.

We need men and women in law enforcement who have not just the physical skills to perform the job, but a COLLEGE DEGREE in behavioral sciences, so they understand why the people they are dealing with, are doing what they do.

Our Cops are too military.  And those guys up in Ogden, totally screwed up last January.  They were after two pot plants.  They knew who was growing them, they knew where he worked, and his work schedule.  They had NO reason to get a no knock search warrant.  They should have arrested the guy when he was going to work, and then searched his house.

But they went crazy, and it cost one of them his life.  It was a totally bungled decision.

And the guy who was defending his home?  I think he's going to get off.  Because no one knocked on his door and asked him if he was growing pot in his basement. 

I only worked in law enforcement for 18 years, so I admit, I don't know, "shit" about it.  But in my humble opinion, that MIGHT have been the place to start.  After all, he wasn't building nuclear bombs in his basement.  Just growing some pot.  You really need a no knock?  I think not.

All Cops should have a college degree in behavioral sciences.  From a REAL college.  Not some bullshit college like Strayer, or, "University" of Phoenix.  And they should have to be able to talk a gun out of someones hand before they  shoot them with a rocket launcher!

Cops need to quit being soldiers.  And to do this?  We need to end the, "War" on drugs.

Yeah, I realize we will still need SWAT teams.  There are situations which call for that type of response, no question.  I'm just saying that right now?  We use it too much.

Just something to think about.

Don't, "Like" Walmart Around Me. Please

I understand why, if you are not rich, you, "Like" Walmart.  They offer what you need to live and low prices.  Heck, lower than you can buy them anywhere else.  So it saves you money.  Makes your life easy.

But have you thought about how they do it?  They pay their employees shit wages and don't offer health insurance.  They will close a store before they will allow it to Unionize.

Costco offers low prices, a living wage, and health insurance to their employees.  And I bet you shop THERE too!

Walmart exploits Chinese cheap labor to bring you cheap prices on everything you need.  You pay less cause their employees get PAID less than a living wage.

Do you know the three biggest employers in the whole world?  I bet not.

In this order they are, The Chinese Military, The US Military, and WALMART!

As poorly as we pay our soldiers, their families lose their cars and houses all the time when one of the bread winners is deployed overseas, at least they have HEALTH INSURANCE!

Walmart keeps women down, by not promoting them.  After all, they are a CHRISTIAN company, and men should be the bread winners.  Women should stay home and take care of children.  How real is THAT in today's economy?  When corporate profits are at all time highs, yet the pay of people who actually do the labor, hasn't kept up with inflation.  Not good.

If you HAVE to shop at Walmart?  I feel sorry for you, and I understand your situation.  I wish you earned a living wage, and had health care and a retirement plan or pension.

If you CHOOSE to shop at Walmart, when you don't have to?  Fuck you.  You are destroying the Labor Movement in this country.  You remember, The Labor Movement?  The people who brought you, "The Weekend".  And kept your kids out of mines and slaughter houses instead of IN schools?

So if you, "Like" Walmart on Facebook?  You are not paying attention.  They don't like you.  But they know their audience, and they will keep you hooked in.

Next time you walk into a Walmart, and that old man, "greets" you, and offers your kid a sticker?  I want you to look deep into his eyes and try to figure out why, at his advanced age, he's not retired to Florida, or Arizona.  Try to figure out why this old man still HAS to work!  Still has to get up in the morning, put on his vest, and try to put on a happy face, while he puts a happy face sticker on your kid, instead of enjoying the warm weather in his trailer park/condo/planed development/house in Arizona.

Is it because he didn't get a pension?  Didn't get a living wage?  Didn't get retirement health care, and has a sick wife?  Even with Medicare, he still owes some money?  Why is this man subjecting himself to this?  I'll bet you dollars to donuts he doesn't WANT to be there.

And folks who run places like Walmart are the reason for it.

So don't, "Like" Walmart to me.  I DON'T like Walmart.  And if you ever see me in one, I have exhausted EVERY other place to get what I'm looking for. 

I'm pro Union, pro National Health Care, pro a better minimum wage, and pro smart people.  That's why I vote for Democrats!  And if you WORK for a living, and you're NOT like me?  You are NOT paying attention.

As the Reverend Payton (and his Big Assed Band) said, "Put your home town on the map, with four football fields of Chinese crap".  THAT is Walmart.

LIKE that, anti Union, pricks.

Say What?

A friend of mine posted something last night about how you can't raise up the poor by taking money away from the rich in taxes.  Well, that's just not true.  It's how we do it in this country.  The Public Works Administration, and all the other projects during the depression that made our roads and trails in our National Parks, and countless other projects were a big reason we got OUT of the depression.

My mother always said PWA didn't stand for Public Works Administration, it meant, "Papa Works Again".

So I posted back to him:  "With your taxes, you buy society."

And I truly believe that.

His response?  "Then I want a refund, cause society is broken."

OH, HELL NO!  You cannot get away with that bullshit!

You right wing nuts are all about, "America First!"  American Exceptionalism.  "Love it or leave it!"  "MY country, right or wrong!"  "Our Constitution is Divinely Inspired!"  And all that jazz.

And while the idiot child of the Royal Family Bush was in charge, if any of us people with an education and a conscience said, "We should not go to war against any countries that didn't attack us".
You screamed, "You are part of the, "Hate America First" crowd!"

If we said, "There is no link between Iraq and 9-11" we were not patriotic!

If we said, "Bush is lying" we didn't respect the President!

If we said, "We would be better off with a national health care plan like the rest of the industrialized world, and it would keep jobs home instead of sending them overseas."  We're, "Socialists!"

If you really believe that, The Constitution is, "Divinely Inspired" meaning the word of, God.  Why do you keep trying to amend it to keep it from letting you impose your religiously based government and laws on the rest of us?  I mean if, God said it, who the fuck are you to try to change it?

Nope, I'm not letting you get away with it.

Either this is the greatest country and society in the history of the world, even when we elect a Black guy you hate, and things aren't going your way.  Or you need to shut the fuck up and live with the fact you lost the last election, and realize that sometimes?  YOU LOSE!  Even if you think God is on your side.

By the way.  God doesn't exist.

But society does.  Live with it.

And while you're at it?  Quit bringing your assault rifle to the mall, just to prove a point.  You do that when I'm in the mall?  I'm going to assume you mean harm and take out my concealed weapon and fill you full of holes before I have to ask you any questions about your motive.  After all, it's not required that I do.  And now that I'm a RETIRED Cop?  I don't even have to say, "POLICE, PUT DOWN THE GUN!"  I can just light you up.

Think about it.

Packing Heat! YOUR Utah Right! Wing Nut

In Utah, you don't need a REASON to have a Concealed Weapon Permit.  But you do need to pass a background check, and a class that tells you when and where you can use it.

Interestingly enough?  You don't have to show that you know how to shoot the damn thing!  So a lot of States, based on that, won't honor the Utah CCW Permit.

But, under our current law, if you choose to wear your sidearm in plain view of everyone, that's OK.  So, Joe Sixpack who has a pistol, can strap that sucker on, and as long as everyone can see it, he's good to go.

Sounds like a Townes Van Zant song:  "Pancho wore his gun outside his vest, for all the honest world to fear..."

And, "fear" really is the operative word here.  More on that later.

And now, some State Senator has introduced a bill that says that if you can carry openly?  Well, you don't have to pass a background check, or take a class.  You can just put on a coat cause it's cold and presto!  You are carrying a concealed weapon.

WTF?

Do we not want to regulate who, why, or where ANYONE can carry a gun in this state?  Do we really want to make carrying instant death as easy to do as putting your smart phone in a belt holder?

I wish our Legislature were smarter than our phones.  But, never going to happen.

I don't want to live in Dodge City, circa 1870!  That is NOT the society that I think ANY of us want to live in, any more.  This is total, lunacy.

There was a guy on the news tonight, who showed up to lobby for this law, who brought his 18 year old kid, wearing a gun OUTSIDE his clothing, while he wore a concealed weapon under his jacket.  To prove a point.

Well, I've been retired almost 7 years now from law enforcement.  Maybe the laws have changed.  I admit, I haven't bothered to keep up.  But when I was a Cop, anyone who gave an 18 year old kid a HANDGUN, was committing a crime by putting minor in control of a gun!

You could give your 12 year old a rifle, or a shotgun.  Your 16 year old could pass a hunter safety course, and deer hunt.  With a rifle.

But you could NOT, under any circumstances, give your under the age of 21 kid a HANDGUN and ammunition, and let him carry it around!

And instead of being put in jail, this prick is interviewed on the news!

OK, people, it's time to talk some sense about,,,  Oh what the fuck.  No one in Utah listens to sense anyway.  Why do I bother?  They all believe that some 19th century con man found golden plates and interpreted them with a rock in a hat.  And there are millions of them that have been giving them 10% of their money ever since.  Greatest con ever.

So now, without any training, shooting test, background check, you want anyone in this state to be able to carry a concealed weapon?  Cause you fear, what?  That the President is coming for your guns, and you want, "states rights"?

I had to provide my son's birth certificate, and his Social Security Card, just to get his drivers license in this state.  He's on his SECOND Passport.  At age 16.  The ULTIMATE ID in he whole world.  But Utah won't accept that.

But if you want to carry a gun?  Just WEAR one.  Then put on a coat.

They hate the Federal Government so much, that my son's Passport is not good enough to prove he's a Citizen.  But if you BOUGHT a gun?  Well you MUST BE!  Strap that fucker on!

I'm kind of hoping, in my reptilian brain, that this stupid law passes.  So when some illegal alien, who, of course got is gun illegally (because of FEDERAL LAW) shoots someone, can say, "Hey, under Utah law, you CAN'T prevent me from carrying a gun, concealed or otherwise!"

And Margret Dayton's head will explode.

The Boy Scouts Don't Have To Accept Gays. And None Of Us Have to Accept Boy Scouts

There has been a heck of a lot of news about the Boys Scouts of America (BSA) struggling with whether or not they should accept Gay members.  I don't think this is really news.  The BSA is a private organization, mostly supported by faith based institutions, many of whom see homosexuality as a sin, and a choice.  It's not, but that isn't the issue.

The issue is that in this country, you have the right to be a racist, a misogynist, or a homophobe, or any kind of a jerk you want to be.  And as long as you're not accepting public money and you don't punch anyone in the face because of your beliefs (or burn a cross on their lawn, or any number of other things) as wrong as you may be?  You have the right to your beliefs.

Asking a group who's supporters are mostly Evangelical Christian Churches to accept homosexuals is a lot like telling The Knights of Columbus that we expect them to accept Jews.  It really makes no sense.

Are they wrong to not accept homosexuals?  Yes.  It's despicable to discriminate against anyone.  But the Boy Scouts don't take girls either and no one is up in arms about that.  Maybe that's the answer.  You don't like the BSA's policy?  Start a group that does the same thing, but is a lot more tolerant.

The Boy Scouts are not the only organization that will teach young people about the outdoors, and let them participate in character building activities and service projects.  There are plenty of private groups and camps open to everyone.

I wouldn't let my son be a Boy Scout.  I don't like their policy's and I gave up on Christianity years ago.  But I think it's up to the Boy Scouts to decide who they are going to associate with, and it's up to everyone who's offended by it, to not support them.

Don't give money to, The United Way.  They give money to the BSA.  Don't give them money to put a flag on your yard at every holiday.  Don't buy tickets to, "Scoutarama" even though you will never use them, just because you thought you were supporting a group that did good things for young people.  Don't patronize their fundraiser car washes and stuff like that.  Vote with your wallet.

And if I had a dollar for every BSA leader I saw on Probation/Parole for sexually abusing young boys while in that position of trust?  I would have retired to Belize years ago.  If the BSA thinks they DON'T have homosexuals in their organization?  They better think again.  They seem to attract closeted, homosexual, pedophiles in DROVES!  Good, God fearing, church going, pedophiles.

And before I get hate email, I am NOT insinuating that all homosexual men are pedophiles.  That is nonsense.  But the truth is, there are pedophiles that are Gay, straight, and somewhere in between.  And I've supervised them all.

So let the BSA do what it needs to do to survive.  Which is actively keep Gays from joining.  They are NOT the Military, or The Peace Corps, or any Government Agency.  They are a private organization that makes a TON of money for the guys in charge.  And they know who to pander to.  Kind of like the Catholic Church.  Maybe the only organization that has a WORSE record of dealing with homosexual pedophiles than the BSA!

The Government is NOT Coming For Your Rights. And If You Think They Are? You Don't Pay Attention

I like my guns, and have plenty of them.  I also worked in law enforcement for 23 years.  So I have some friends who are a little more touchy about their guns than I am.  Some of them are outright nuts about their guns.  If they are too nuts, we don't usually stay friends.

And I keep getting these posts on Facebook about how the Government is coming for your guns.  And it's just bullshit.  There is not one piece of Federal Legislation being proposed, or one Executive order that directs anyone to TAKE guns already lawfully owned by people who are not Felons, or the mentally ill.  Not ONE!

There was one particularly galling post tonight of a guy wearing a Glock on his belt and it said, "THIS IS YOUR RIGHT".  OK.  As far as that goes.  But under that, in much smaller letters it said, The Government is taking away your rights one at a time.

Bullshit.  NAME ONE right that has been taken away from you since Barack Obama was elected President!  ONE!  You can't do it, cause it hasn't happened.  You still have the right to buy and own a gun.  You still have the right to show up at a shopping mall wearing an assault rifle, even though that's about the dumbest thing I've ever seen.  You can still vote, even if you're stupid.  You still have the right to buy a bunch of ammunition, though even if you fill your basement with it, you could still NOT hold off the Government if they DID come for you guns.  I don't know the mathematical formula, but I'm pretty sure the correct answer is: Tank > Than Your Assault Rifle and all your ammo.

There is one right you might have lost.  The right to be a dead beat asshole when it comes to taking responsibility for your own health care!  Starting next year, you have to have health insurance, which greedy, insurance companies are going to have to make available to you, even if you're all ready sick.  And quit going to America's Emergency Rooms, and taking up space that should be for people who are REALLY sick with your ear ache.  If you don't?  You will have to pay a fine.  GOOD!  You want government to be more accountable with YOUR money?  This is a GREAT start.

So, right wing guns nuts of all stripes, QUIT SAYING THE GOVERNMENT IS COMING FOR YOUR GUNS, OR YOUR RIGHTS WITH ABSOLUTELY NO EVIDENCE TO BACK IT UP!  You are just lying assholes.