The Zen Of Ernie

My neighbor, Ernie has a nice life.  He's a retired Boilermaker.  He's now in his early 60's.  His wife, Kathy has a great job, with insurance and great benefits.  She tried to quit a few years ago, and her employer gave her and Ernie a two week vacation in Hawaii and a bunch of perks to keep working.  So she did.

Ernie spent his life getting up in the morning, brushing his teeth and going to a totally tough job, where he got dirty, faced life and death for him and his friends, and worked hard doing everything from plumbing to electricity, and then he would come home, take a shower and enjoy an adult beverage and his evening with is loving wife before he went to bed and did it all again the next day.

I did it backwards.  I would get up in the morning, take a shower, shave, put on a suit and tie and go to Court.  Or at the very least, take the shower and shave and go to an office where I was expected to be a professional and deal with anything from a simple office visit to piss test to an arrest in a meth lab in the afternoon or evening.

Now that I'm retired, I'm starting to understand the, Zen of Ernie.  For the last six years, I have gotten up, and taken a shower, shaved, gotten dressed, eaten breakfast (or lunch.  I like to sleep late since I retired.  Oh, Hell the truth be known?  I'm ALWAYS liked to sleep late.  I'm a night owl.  Check the time on THIS blog) and then?  I don't want to go for a walk, or a bike ride, or mow the lawn or do anything physically challenging.  After all, I've already had my shower for the day!  Why get all sweaty again?

But today, I decided to channel my inner, Ernie.  I slept late.  As usual.  But then I got up, put on yesterdays clothes.  After all they were already dirty.  And mowed my lawn.  When I was through, I smelled like cut grass, mower exhaust, and yesterdays cigars. But my lawn was mowed.

Then, I came in and watched all the stuff I DVR'd from Showtime and HBO last night while I was watching hockey.  Drank a couple of bottles of ice tea.

THEN I took a shower!  On my own terms.  On my own time!  And you know what?  I DID NOT shave!  Because by then?  It was almost three o'clock in the afternoon, and I had accomplished everything I HOPED to accomplish for the day.  So who cares if I have a two day growth of beard?  My wife and kids don't, so if anyone else does?  So what.  I don't work for those guys anymore.

I'm starting to get what the Zen Master Ernie has been trying to teach me all these years.  And he's the happiest guy I know.  I'm going to be more Ernie, and a lot less me for the next little while.  I think it's going to work for me.  And the yard will look better.

So, about three o'clock every afternoon, I expect to have just gotten out of the shower after taking good care of my yard.  And be ready to have an adult beverage on the patio, with Ernie.  And our dogs.  The dogs are REALLY Zen.  They hardly move.

I just can't get into Ernie's Lord Calvert and Pepsi.  Don't like either one of them.  I'll stick with the bourbon rocks thing.  I hope it's not a, "sacrament" that's required to hang with him.  It would, harsh my mellow.

Peace out.