Bubble, Day 3. "Go CITY!" PCSC Wins The Tournament.

Up early again.  Man these tournaments in other counties that start at 10 am!  You have to be down there at 9 so the boys can warm up.  I hate getting up early on a Saturday!  I hate getting up early ANY day, but it ought to be illegal on Saturday.

This mornings game was a rematch with the team they lost to on Thursday night.  And I had a feeling they would win this time.  They should have won on Thursday, but it was Trenton and Danny's first game with this team, and the other team got a fluke goal with only a few minutes left.  But they are two pretty evenly matched teams.

Trenton got, "CITY", as their parents call the team, on the board first.  He had a game winner yesterday.  So he was really a contributor.  Danny played solid defense.  And with a goal just after half time, they held on to win 2-1 and take home a medal.

Then I got to get the HELL out of Utah County!  What a relief!  I felt myself getting smarter the further north I went.

Stopped in Draper to have an In N Out burger for lunch on the way home.  And for some reason, a parking spot was open right in front of the door.  Didn't even have to use, Deb's handicapped parking pass.  So, "The Bitchin' Camaro" got a lot of attention from the folks eating outside.

As I was filling my ice tea back up to leave, a young woman with a little boy, maybe two years old asked if that was my Camaro outside?  And I told her it was.  She said her son really liked the car, and asked if he could look inside before we left.  Sure, I told her.  We were just leaving and he could sit inside and check it out.

When she put him the drivers seat, the initial thrill quickly turned to shear terror!  He shot his mother a look that said, "Get me OUTTA here!"  Looking at a Transformer is WAY different from being INSIDE one, I guess.

They thanked me for letting him check it out, but I kind of felt bad that I'd scared him.  But, Deb told me when we got in the car, that as she walked by them to get in, he was pointing at the car and saying to his mom, "Want that!"  So I guess the scare didn't last too long.

This whole, "guest player" thing with the PC folks was a really, good experience.  The boys made some new friends.  The parents were awesome and welcomed us into their fold.  I'm really glad we got the opportunity to do this.

Now, we'll see how the new friends get along later this week.  Murray Max plays PCSC on Friday morning at 8:30 in THEIR tournament, and Trenton and Danny will be, "back in black".  And orange.  Go Murray will replace, Go City for us.  But win lose or draw, I'm sure glad to have some new friends.  And can't wait to go to Las Vegas with them this fall.

"The Bubble", Day Two

Orem is a long way off.  And I don't mean that as a joke, it's just about 45 minutes from here.  And I had to have the boys down there at 9 in the morning.  I don't like getting up early.  I didn't retire, to get up early.  But I did it.

Down the luge run that is the freeway down there during construction.  The Customs folks in Lehi just waived me through.  I guess I fooled them last night and they remembered the car.  You would think they would have at least checked the trunk for books!

The first game was kind of a blow out.  I don't know who the boys played, but the final score was 4-1, and it wasn't that close.  And, Danny's friend, Trenton had the game winning goal!

Then it was off to the University Mall for lunch in the food court.  The boys all sat together and the Park City Parents invited us to sit with them.  They have been awesome.  Very accepting, really made us feel at home.  And after lunch, the boys and most of the parents went to see a movie.  But, Deb and I had other plans.

I know it's hard to believe, but my wife went to school at, "That School Down South".  And she hadn't been back much in the last 35 years, and has been wanting to go see it again, while she can still see a little.  So we drove over there.

She didn't recognize much.  She could see the stadium, and knew the Marriott Center.  But the whole campus is torn up!  I've never seen so much construction in such a small area!

She wanted to get out and walk around on campus for a while, but we couldn't find a parking place!  There must have been a conference, or convention there today, because all the visitor lots were full and wouldn't let you in.

I really did want her to get to do this, but I have to admit.  It didn't break my heart.  The last time I was on that campus was for a debate meet my senior year in high school and I got thrown out of the student union at lunch time for having long hair.  And I was wearing a suit and a tie at the time.

I have a concealed carry permit, as a retired LEO, and I use it.  Mostly when I travel.  And being an Atheist, left wing, Liberal, Democrat in a bright orange Camaro with, "U of U" plates, I planned ahead and brought a gun with me to Utah County.  Figured I might have some trouble in, "Glennbeckistan", just wanted to be prepared.

My holster broke.  I never, even in my wildest dreams expected THIS to be a problem.  I'm pretty sure 99% of the population feels the same way.

But as I was explaining to one of the other, "soccer moms" today, I put a lot of people in jail over the years, and I won't remember all of them.  But I'm pretty sure if I put you in jail, you will remember me!  So when I'm out of my comfort zone, for what ever reason, I'm usually, "packed". 

So now, I'm in Utah County with a little .38 in an in the pants holster, hanging on by a thread because the plastic clip on the holster broke when I put it back in my pants after using the restroom at lunch time.

Good thing I'm in, "Glennbeckistan", there's a gun shop on every other corner!  Not five minutes from the mall, I find a suitable replacement and I'm on my way!

Back to the fields for the second game at 5:15.  Much tougher game.  But the boys win 2-1 and will have to be back in the morning for the championship game against the team that beat them on Thursday night.  And I think we're going to win.  We gave up a fluke goal late in the game on Thursday, and I have a feeling that's not going to happen this time.

Back to, "The Bubble" day 3.  Man, I never thought I'd EVER have to spend 3 days in that place.  I should get a, "Father of The Year" award for this!

Into The Bubble: A Savage Journey To The Heart Of The American Nightmare

My son has been invited to be a, "guest player" for a soccer team from Park City this year, and their first tournament started tonight in Orem.

Utah County.  "The Bubble".  Where it's always 1984.  Ronald Reagan is forever President, and BYU is the National Football Champion.  There are no Gay folks, and everyone will see you at the Ward Supper, because everyone is a Mormon.  And we, "Priciate cha so much" for it!

I've made no bones about my Atheist feelings, my Liberal Democratic politics (can't help it.  Went to a REAL college, learned to critically think.  That's what an education will do to you) and I even have, "U of U" license plates on my car.

I figured, that if I got off the freeway in Lehi, and took the back roads, I might not get shot at.  But before I could get off the freeway, there was a big billboard for, BYUTV, "The home of the Cougars".  Thank, God for that!  It pretty much assures that no one in the rest of the country will be exposed to THAT mess while they fill time between fire side chats from the leaders of the church, and showings of The Lawrence Welk Show!  So I know I'm in trouble.  These people hate people like me.

On that note?  Why don't we have a sign on the North bound side of I15, North side of point of the mountain that says something like, "ESPN, FOX SPORTS, PAC 12 NETWORK, the home of the Utes!"?  Or at least something like, "Welcome to BCS Country!  This is the only time YOU'LL ever get to see it!"  Just a thought.

Had to stop at Customs in Lehi.  They wanted to make sure that I wasn't a Mexican, had a Utah drivers license, wasn't carrying any alcohol or books, WAS carrying a gun, made sure I wasn't listening to NPR, and knew the password.  "1984".  They looked funny at the Camaro since it had the "U" plates, but they let me pass.  Awesome!  The boy won't miss his soccer game.

I passed billboards for, "Dear Elder", "The Missionary Connection" and strangely enough, one going in and out of the county advertising a trip to Israel with of all people?  Glenn Beck!

Here's a guy who's so right wing crazy he can't hold a job on, "Faux News", which is in the right wing and crazy business.  And you should go to one of the most history rich places on the planet, regardless of your religious views, and listen to a bat shit crazy, moron tell you all about it?  WTF?  Really?  Wow.  This place is even crazier than I thought.

And they're crazy enough to think the rest of the country is as interested in their football team as they are in Notre Dame.  And that's CRAZY, off the charts!

And on top of it, the road construction has everything so screwed up, and not just on the freeway that you can't get anywhere.  Even, On Star gave up on giving me directions at one point because of all the detours!

"You have left the route we are guiding you on.  Please press the On Star button again if you want directions from where you are now.  Thank you."  I didn't bother, but when we finally DID get into the park where the games were being held, the voice came back on and said, "You have reached your destination.  Route guidance will stop now."  You could almost hear the system say, "Jesus!  Where the hell have you BEEN!  We can't even find you with satellite GPS!"

The boys lost tonight and have two games tomorrow.  One early in the morning, one in the evening, so I have to spend the whole day down there in, "The Bubble" and I'm not looking forward to it.  I'm sure it will get weirder. 

But the bright side is that Deb wants to see some places down there she hasn't seen in many years, while she can still see.  So we'll take the opportunity of being down there (cause since her brothers family moved from Orem to St. George, we have NO reason to go to Utah County except when passing through) and let her look around.

But after tonight's experience?  I think the bat shit's a little thicker than I thought.  Might have to bring a BIGGER gun.

MONSTER! Or, MONSTER?

All weekend, Faux News was reporting that the Muslim extremest killed 80 or so people in Norway on Friday.  This person is some sort of a monster.  He's out of control.

Today?  When the facts have been out since... BEFORE they started saying that, the whole world now knows that it was a bright eyed, blue eyed, Blondie haired, "white and delight some", Christian, radical who gunned down a bunch of kids at a summer camp, because he was worried about the, "Muslimization of Europe".

The summer camp was sponsored by the Labor Party of Norway.  Who opposed the Nazis in WWII.  And it was to teach DEMOCRACY!

Free people, voting in a free country, is what let this, Christian, with too much access to bullets, kill 80 people.  And this in a country with gun control we would not tolerate in America.

Fuck.

I have a BUNCH of guns.  I spent my life around guns.  I love me some guns.  I love how they work.  I love the engineering, the workmanship, the history.  ESPECIALLY the HISTORY, of the guns I own, and the way they changed OUR history.  The history of the gun is, whether you like it or not, the history of America.

Now, I'm going to be forced to defend my gun love to my liberal friends who don't know the whole story, and just assume that this guy, since he used a gun, is a reason to ban guns from all but the military or the police.  World wide.

But it's not that simple, is it?  Crazy Cops and Soldiers get fired, and they know how to use guns and have access to them, or steal them, or buy them at gun shows, where they don't have to do background checks.

But if I said I was in favor of making gun shows do background checks?  I'd be labeled a crazy, "Liberal".  WTF?  I know, it's crazy, but you can bet it's going to happen.  I'M the CRAZY one, for suggesting that anyone who wants to buy deadly force, prove they are a citizen, legally in this country, not crazy, on drugs, a convicted felon, subject to a restraining order, or otherwise too fucking nuts to buy a GUN!  How the FUCK is THAT out of line!?

If you can pass THAT test?  Knock yourself out.  Buy all the guns you want.  But not right now.  How many guns a month do you need?  Because in places like Virginia, people who CAN pass that test, buy a BUNCH at a time.  And they end up in the hands of gang members in New York City.

Can we all, right wing, left wing, Democrat, Republican, agree that THAT is a bad thing?

Because they use them to shoot at the Cops.  And if we can all agree that the folks who buy guns illegally mostly shoot each other, and that's a GOOD thing, and it is because those of us who went to college and don't live in the ghetto and are white, don't really care about those people, and statistically are NOT likely to be shot.  At.  Or EVER...

Wait!  I think I see a pattern here!  If the guns are sold and the companies make a profit.  And rich, white people are not the ones getting killed, as it's only poor, black people who are the victims, shoot EACH OTHER, while white, rich folks make a profit?  Oh, HELL yeah!  Win win situation for rich, white, Republicans!

No one in my fairly rich, white neighborhood has been shot in about two years.  There was that incident where a Hispanic gang member was shot in the park a block from me a few years ago, but it's not common.  Hell, I live next to a Park.  All the, "Commoners" are allowed in it.  So I have to take my chances.

Faux News is NOT news.  Muslims, as screwed up as they are, don't ALL hate America.  And Mormons?  The better, Mitt does in this election?  You're going to be made out WORSE than Muslims.  Trust me.  So don't be so quick to judge.

That guy in Norway?  I don't question his religion.  I don't question his political motives.  Both are SO crazy that he would kill 80 people to prove them right?  He's not a political activist.  He's a mental health case.  He's crazy.

But I do have to question how he had access to THAT much ammo.  And how was he able to load it so quick.

And I have to question why we, in this country, still think that this scenario is OK, in the name of, "The Right To Bear Arms".  Because it could happen here.

House Concert. "Trop Rock" In Murray, September 11.

This guy is going to play my back yard on Sunday, September 11 at five o'clock.  His name is Kelly McGuire, and he's a Texas singer/songwriter with part of his soul in Belize.  I guess, Jimmy Buffett would say, he has a Caribbean Soul he can barely control.  But it will be a night of songs about boats, and islands and all things tropical.  I hope I get lots of friends here, because it will be a wonderful time.  And by the time he's through, if you never thought you wanted to go to Belize, you will.

Still trying to get in touch with, David "Fudley" Harris to see if he'll sit in on the steel drums.  That would add to the festivities.

Let me explain how a house concert works, so everyone who comes knows up front.  I am NOT going to make a penny on this deal.  I am providing a venue, and picking, Kelly up a the airport and taking him back, and I've arranged lodging for him.  But I'm doing this to give a friend a way to expand his musical footprint, maybe sell a few CD's, and share one of my favorite performers with more of my friends.

He pays his own way here, and we will collect money at the show to cover his travel expenses.  The suggested donation is $20 per person.  But give what you can.  And when he takes an intermission, and you are chatting him up over a beer, buy a CD.  His assistant sent me some information that if they can get 20 to 40 folks to chip in $20, it will cover his expenses to get here.

I think Murray folks will do that.  He's flying over here from Denver before he goes home to Houston, just to do this show.

This is not a Jimmy Buffett Cover act, so don't expect to hear, Margaritaville.  You will be hearing, Kelly McGuire songs (and some of them will be ABOUT, Jimmy Buffett, because his music has influenced, Kelly.  Blame It On Buffett, and, Who Wouldn't Want To Be Buffett (either Warren or the other one) will probably be rolled out).  This is original music in the, "Trop Rock" vein.  And you're going to love it.

If you have been to San Pedro, you will see yourself in his music.  From Chan Hole to BC's palapa bar music jam on a Sunday afternoon, he'll cover it all.  If you haven't, you will want to go when he's done.

Since I don't know how many people are going to be here, I'm not planning on food or drink.  So feel free to BYOB (bottle, NOT boat!) or even a picnic dinner, I have a big enough yard to spread out a blanket and enjoy the show.

Now, a word about children.  I love to see kids exposed to live music.  Especially this kind of live music.  So bring them.  And if they are under 18, don't pay $20 for them, either.  I want to encourage this behavior. 

But that being said, this is all about the music, so no climbing the trees, or running around the backyard or yelling and screaming.  Can we all agree on that?  I'd hate to have all the work I've put into this made an unpleasant experience by too many distractions.

My friend, Jeff Evans of Salt Lake's most popular local band, Insatiable, has generously offered to provide a sound system for us, so even though I live by 5400, you will be able to hear the music.

The show will start at five o'clock and be done in plenty of time for you to go home so you can go to sleep, and go to work the next morning.

Deb and I were lucky enough to meet, Kelly a couple of years ago in Belize when we were there to see, Jerry Jeff Walker.  We were staying at Ramon's Village, and some folks we met there convinced us to come and see him at a beach bar, and we really liked what we heard.  So when the opportunity came to see him in Mexico, on one of our favorite islands this May, we took it.  And after some preliminary emails, that's where the idea for a show here really came together.

So if you are reading this, please come and enjoy a little bit of the Tropics, while we head toward fall in Utah.  And, Kelly is hoping to do a little mountain biking in Park City while he's here for an extra day, so if any of you have suggestions (I'm talking to YOU, Ron Huggins!) let him know.

And let me know if you can come, I'd like to have a rough number to give, Kelly before he gets here.

"...Trailing a light in my wake, you'll find me, by the choices you make.."  Kelly McGuire.

First Truthstick Food Review. Busy Bee? You Got Some, "Splainin" To Do!

I was going to meet an old friend of mine from high school (we were on the Debate Team together) for lunch today.  And she couldn't figure out how to find, Gepetto's in Holiday.  Where everyone from Murray High went in the 70's.  So, figuring out she was, "directionally challenged" I picked a place that no one could miss.  The Busy Bee on 2100 S. and State Street.  She said she had never had a Garlic Burger, so this seemed like a good time to show her the awesome magic of too much garlic, and the best steak fries in the state.

But, alas, the steak fries were GONE!  WTF!?

I got ratty looking, narrow fried potato's that actually looked like they were covered in BATTER!  Like the shitty fries that have kept me from eating at, Burger King for 20 years or more!  These things were AWFUL!  What happened to the Steak Fries?

I have to say, that comparing Garlic Burgers in this valley really comes down to, The Busy Bee and, The Cotton Bottom.  And for me?  The deciding factor, when I'm going to commit to a meal that will kill me later anyway, was that, The Cotton Bottom was a little too much, "Billy Goat Tavern" ("No fries, cheeeps!  Cheeseburger?").  The burger is awesome, but the chips?  In a greasy bag from, Frito Lay?  Just can't stack up to the Steak Fries at, The Busy Bee.  If those are gone?  Well, I'm living closer to the, "Bottom", so I'll save the trip.

French fries are subjective, I realize.  But in my, humble opinion, the thick, Steak Fries are the best.  Red Robin, Wingers and, "The Bee" did them best.  Now?  I'm going to be eating expensive burgers or chicken fingers when I want Steak Fries, I guess.

So, Busy Bee owners, operatives, employees, patrons who know something, please explain yourselves!  Please.

And another telling thing the waitress said when taking our order, "I hope you want fries or a salad, we're out of onion rings" and this was at noon.  Not late in the afternoon.  Noon.  So does this tell me this place is in trouble, and not paying it's bills, or keeping it's suppliers happy?  I need to know.

My advice to anyone who likes to have lunch at this place?  Boycott them until they bring back the Steak Fries!

It Appears You Have To Be A Moron To Work In Customer Service For Satellite Radio

I have five satellite radio accounts.  Yeah, I know, that's ridiculous.  But bear with me.  The first one was a, "plug and play" deal that would work in my Pontiac and you could take it out and put it in a, "boom box" looking deal, and listen to it on the patio.

Jesus, even MY kids are too young to remember the term, "boom box", but I don't know what else to call it.

When I bought the Audi, it had satellite radio in it, and I gave the old car to Meagan and she wanted to keep the satellite radio, so I let her.  Now we're up to two.

Used to be you could listen on line for free, if you were already a subscriber.  A while ago, they changed that, and you now have to pay for on line listening.  That's three.  And as you all know, I'm NEVER on the computer, so I don't know why I have THAT one.

When the old, "plug and play" in Meagan's car died, I had to buy a new one for her which replaced account number one.  But then I needed one for my NEW, "boom box" that would also plug into my truck.  Now we're up to four.

Those are all Sirius accounts.  Bought the Camaro last year, it came with XM.  That's five satellite radio accounts.

I don't have a problem with the service.  It's pretty much great where ever you go.  I could even listen on line in Mexico with my iPad.  Although, spending a whole day driving through the Redwoods in California and not taking an CD's proved to be a very, quiet, tactical error on my part, the stuff works real well.

But God help you if you need to call these people for ANY reason at all.  And now that Sirius and XM have merged, you get the same shitty on hold music no matter who you're calling.

When the first unit we bought died and I had to deactivate it, I tried to do it on line.  Wouldn't work.  You can turn one ON, on line, but not off.  So I had to call them and wait what seemed like forever to talk to a guy in Bangalore, who informed me there was no way to shut one off on line, and then did it for me.

Unfortunately, even though I read him the number off the back of the unit, when he turned it off, it disabled my on line account, too.

When you disable the ORIGINAL unit, even though you tell them the number on it, and to only shut IT off, and not all your other accounts, they can't seem to make that happen.  At least not the first try. 

The next day, four phone calls later, they finally reactivated my other accounts.  Didn't bother to tell me that when they do that?  They change your user name and password.  Took another phone call the next day to get THAT fixed.

Every two years, when we get a new credit card, the number doesn't change, but the expiration date does, so as each account comes due for the year, Sirius would send me an email, telling me that the credit card I had given them would not work.  I would go on line to my account, change the expiration date and a day later get an email thanking me for continuing my service.  Pain in the ass, but expected, and relatively painless.

It appears that the folks on the XM side of the operation haven't caught up.  As bad as it is at Sirius?  XM makes them look like geniuses.

Yesterday, I got a bright yellow letter in the mail from XM, telling me that they couldn't process my credit card payment, and, "Immediate Action required to avoid termination of service".  So, knowing how this works, I called them this morning.  I was soon connected to, "Mike".  Should have asked, Mike about the weather in Bangalore in the middle of the night.

Mike was obviously new at this, because he couldn't stop using the script.  Trying to sell me more services (I already have the, "every freakin' station you offer" package) and trying to trouble shoot me through what ever problem he had been coached to THINK I had.  At one point I finally had to say, "HEY, MIKE!  STOP TALKING.  Just stop, talking.  YOU need to listen to ME now, OK?

"Yes, sir."

"Mike, I just want to give you a new credit card expiration date, so you can bill me, and my radio won't go off, OK?  Can we do that?"

"Yes, sir.  Which account, sir.  Can you read me the noomber off the back of your device, sir?"

"No, Mike I can't.  It's in a Chevy Camaro.  I can't look behind it.  Go to my account using my phone number, and find the device number for the one marked, "Chevy Camaro", OK, Mike?"

I'm giving computer advice to a guy in India.  That's rich.

"Yes sir, I've found it!  You have an outstanding balance of twelve dollars and fivvvty cents.  Would you like to pay that now, sir?"

"Yes, Mike, I 'd like to pay that now.  And while you're at it, bill me for the next year."

By the time I finally had to tell him I was going to hang up, because he was not going to SHUT up, it was pretty much assured that I wouldn't lose my satellite radio in the Camaro.

Never assume.

By two o'clock this afternoon, I had done everything I had to do today.  Took my, "learners permit" son for a drive to visit his grandmother, took him and his mom out to lunch at, The Italian Village (gotta love the pizza bender lunch for about 8 bucks, man!), took the family home so they could take off and visit the OTHER Grandmother, got some whiskey and a cigar and got home by two o'clock.  I had a whole hour before the boys and the dogs arrived for, "Dog Day Friday".  I'm going to go for a little, windows down, radio turned up, cruse around Murray in, "The Bitchin' Camaro"  Yeah!

Get in the car, and the satellite radio doesn't work.  Should have seen THIS coming.

I'll make this story short, but after 25 minutes on hold, with, Michele who was not Indian, but sounded pretty southern, they assured me that they would fix the problem, and my radio should be back in working order in a matter of minutes.  Fuck it.  By now I just parked the sucker in the garage and went to get the back yard ready for a bunch of dogs.

After everyone has gone home at about five thirty, I decide to go out and see if it's working, since I have places to go tomorrow.  Should have seen THIS coming.

This time, I"m pissed.  Ask my wife, you don't want to deal with me when I'm pissed.  I do NOT suffer fools gladly, and all I've had to deal with today from the satellite radio people is fools.  There are probably STILL Parolees out there, somewhere in Utah who talk about what happened when they pissed ME off.  And I've been retired for five years.

The first guy that answered the phone?  I bit his head clean off, right through the phone line, spit it out into the backyard THROUGH the glass sliding door and shouted down the neck of his lifeless corpse, "PUT A SUPERVISOR ON THIS PHONE RIGHT NOW, YOU INCOMPETENT IDIOT!"  Almost immediately, I'm speaking to, "John". 

"Ello.  Dis is, John.  Ow may I hellp you?"

Back in freakin' Bangalore!  Damn it!

He asks for the account number, which I read to him off the yellow letter that arrived yesterday.  Three times.  Doesn't help.

He needs the number off the back of the device again.  By the third time he asks for this, after I told him for the third time, it was in the car, and I couldn't get behind it, I was yelling, "IT'S IN A FUCKING CHEVY CAMARO, I KEEP TELLING YOU, I CAN'T LOOK BEHIND THE FUCKING RADIO!  LOOK THE ACCOUNT NUMBER UP BY THE PHONE NUMBER AND GO TO WHERE IT SAYS, CHEVY CAMARO, YOU INCOMPETENT MORON!"

By this time, Deb, who was sitting on the patio had come to the door.  I think she thought I was yelling at the kids.  Now, John asks me if I have access to the car.  Are you shitting me?  Yeah, I think I can find it.  Hold on a minute.

Go out, turn on the car, back it out of, The Garage Ma Hall to make sure I have a good satellite connection and, John tells me to turn it to channel 1 and read him the number that the radio tells me.

So I do.

You know by now exactly where this is going to go.  You can see it coming from a mile a way.  You could hit THIS pitch out of any park, including Yellowstone.  But play along.

"That's not the right number, sir."  WTF?

How is that NOT the right number!  It's the number the RADIO is telling me is IT'S number!

We do this four or five times.  And four or five times, I feel compelled to ask, John if he's retarded?

He says, "There are only eight numbers.  There should be nine."  Oh, shit.  Those Canadians who put this fucker together STOLE one of my numbers!

By this time, I'm so angry that I wish I didn't like handguns so much.  I wish I had bought some shit that could just rain hot lead, indiscriminately at, Bangalore, India from Murray, Utah!  I'm pissed off to the the highest level of pissed-a-tude!

In desperation, I go back to what has worked before, "JUST FUCKING LOOK UP THE ACCOUNT NUMBER BY THE PHONE NUMBER AND GO TO WHERE IT SAYS, CHEVY CAMARO!"

John?  He's a quick learner.  He'll go far in this company.  Because as soon as I yell this at him for the third, or fourth, or fifth time, suddenly, Outlaw Country is playing through the lovely Boston Acoustic speakers of, "The Bitchin' Camaro".

So, I thanked him for his help.  I said, "You people are incompetent, inbred stupid bastards who could fuck up a rock fight.  Thanks for all you help!"

I swear, before I could push the, "off" button, I heard him, say, "I'm happy we could be of service..."

I think I'm going to get some yellow paper.  And every summer about this time, I'm going to send a letter to XM.  And it's going to say, "Immediate action required to keep me from terminating YOU as my satellite radio provider!  You MUST have someone call me and ask if my credit card number or expiration date has changed before you terminate my service!"

Bastards.

I won't even go into what it took to get, John to get my email right.  "GOLF, OSCAR, NOVEMBER, ZULU, OSCAR, PAPA, OSCAR, AT...

1847, Mormons Illegally Immigrate To Mexico. 2011, Mormons HATE Illegal Mexicans Taking It Back. Go figure.

On July 24, 1847, Brigham Young led the Mormons (who are only here because they had been thrown out of all the GOOD states) into the Salt Lake Valley, and as legend says, told his followers that, "This is the place".  Only one problem with that.  This place belonged to Mexico.  And, Brigham and his followers were illegally crossing the border, and taking land that didn't belong to them.

But in all fairness?  They didn't take any one's JOB!  Credit where it's due.

Good thing the Mexicans didn't have their own, "Imigre" at the time.  They would have shot those covered wagons full of holes, and this place would not have any where NEAR the number of nice golf courses it has now.

So, in light of THAT history, why do Mormons hate Mexicans so much now?  And I say Mexicans, instead of illegal aliens because they don't hate ALL illegal immigrants.  Just the brown ones.

My brother in law, who came here without papers from Norway, many, many years ago as a child, but was coming here as a MORMON, never had to be naturalized.  No one tried to send his ass back to the arctic circle.  Hell, he served 20+ years in the Air Force and retired from it, without anyone noticing until we all went on a cruise in 1996, and Rolf couldn't get a Passport!  Because he had never become a citizen!

I know what you're thinking.  No, he was not a, Norwegian, "Anchor Baby".  He was 4 years old when his parents came here.  But he was sure, WHITE AND DELIGHTSOME!

And Mormon.

So, why now do these self righteous, right wing, Mormon, Conservatives want our cherry crop to go rotten, and all our hotel rooms to not have clean sheets?

Have you seen what's happening in Georgia this summer?  Google it.  That, "progressive" state passed an Arizona like, "Show me your papers" law last year.  Got just what they wanted, too.  Ran ALL the illegals out of the state.  Now they're paying for it.

The one news story I read estimates that they are 11 thousand people short of what they need this summer to harvest their crops that are starting to come ripe.  Even offering locals, $10 an hour to pick fruit, with no benefits, the locals won't take the job.  Estimates reach the millions of dollars in lost revenue for the farmers.

The state has pushed it's prison inmates into the fields to work, but with not much success.  Those guys don't have the skills to pick raspberry's and other crops as fast as the illegals, so it's not working out very well.

And if you were already in prison, and there was nothing in it for you anyway?  How hard would you work in the Georgia sun? 

Are you starting to see what I'm talking about here?

My 15 year old wants a job desperately this summer.  But since he's not 16 yet, no one will hire him.  I know him pretty well, and I am willing to bet that one day of picking cucumbers would make him quit.  I'm pretty sure next summer that he will land a job working at Murray Park, or, McDonald's or someplace.  And even if he's cleaning restrooms or flipping burgers, he's going to stick with it for the pay check.  But he won't pick fruit.

That's hard work.

I personally have experience with the, "criminal illegals" that the Conservatives are always raving about.  In the summer of 1994, when Pioneer Park and it's environs were a public drug market, the SLCPD was running out of new faces to make buy/busts in the area.  Since our office was just across the street from theirs, and we were Peace Officers, too, they asked us for help.

So one night a week from April to September that summer, we would spend half the night doing undercover drug buys, then trade off with the other guys and spend the second half of the night being the take down team when the deal had been done.

That might have been as much fun as I ever had being a Cop.  Trying to buy dope on Second South in an old, confiscated Lincoln Mark IV, with my Jack Daniel's T-shirt, and a bandanna around my head.  And a .40 Caliber Glock under my right thigh, since you couldn't wear a holster in that situation.

We arrested 292 people doing that one night a week.  269 of them were illegal aliens.  Not a hockey player in the bunch, so you know which boarder they crossed.  Yes there ARE Mexicans, who come to this country to participate in illegal activities, and try to earn their money THAT way.  I know it happens, I've seen it up close and personal.

You sure as hell can't say that THAT ever happened with the Italians, or Irish, or Russians, or Cubans who came to this country the LEGAL way!  God knows every single one of those people took a job changing sheets at the Holiday Inn, and never looked back while becoming outstanding citizens, and eventually, millionaires.

Which is why, "The Soprano's", a complete work of fiction, was so popular.

Now, if I were to, "generalize" about a group of people based only on the ones you see in the news for getting arrested after committing a crime, and I lived in Utah?  I'd have to say ALL Mormons are involved in Ponzie schemes involving Book of Mormon gold mines in the mountains above Springville, or stuff like New Skin (same old scheme) or Noni juice.  Because in my 20+ years as a Probation/Parole Agent in this state, I knew a WHOLE lot more than 269 of THOSE folks!

I can't tell you how many Bishops, and Stake Presidents were on probation or parole for stealing from New York Life while working for them, or for sexual crimes, or other rip offs.  But if I were to paint ALL Mormons with that brush, I'd get run out of town!

Yet the right wing, Mormon, Republicans can make the blanket claim that all the illegals are here to commit crime, and they get away with it.  I'm thinking because it's because most Mormons are not brown.

Yeah, yeah, I know.  Coming here without papers is a crime in itself!  So is having sex with 14 year old girls because God said you should, having more than one wife, smoking marijuana, and telling your neighbor that if he buys his Noni Juice from YOU, HE will get rich.  Where are you going to draw the line?

Like the guy in the paper this morning, the, "Minuteman".  Hate the illegals, but it's not about racism.  It's about the fact that they come here without permission, and that's breaking the law.  So is having 4 wives, like his daddy did.  Where are you going to draw that line, again?

So, as we prepare to celebrate the 164th Anniversary of the illegal immigration of the Mormons into Mexico (and I have to ask?  Why the fireworks and AMERICAN flag displays for THIS holiday?  WTF?  It's TOTALLY local, and they didn't shoot their way in.  They snuck over the boarder like the Mexicans they hate, do NOW) I would just have to ask my Mormon friends, why they vote for people who have so much hate in their heart?

Most of the Mormons I know are caring, compassionate, wonderful people.  But they elect bigots and racists to run the legislature.

In my life, I come in contact with illegals every day of it.  And in just about every situation, I'm better off for it.  They cook my meals, they clean my car, they make up my motel room, they trim trees in my neighborhood, they take care of the lawns I drive by every day, and the truth be known?  The whole country would be Georgia without them.

So lighten up.  Unless YOU want to raise YOUR kid to hope to one day, be mowing lawns like his daddy did, you're going to have to live with this.

Quit hating because these folks are brown.  YOU wouldn't take the job you allege they are TAKING from you or your kid, and you KNOW IT!

And you Utah Mormons hate them because they are not, White and Delightsome, and they tend to be Catholic.  Not because they are here illegally.

If Canada's economy suddenly became like Mexico's (and that won't happen, because THEY have a national health care plan, like Mexico.  But without all the political corruption) and we were over run with an invasion of, "Frost Backs" and they were mostly Alberta Mormons?  I don't think here would be any, "show me your papers" law targeting guys in plaid, wool shirts with beards who are taking all our lumber jack and hockey playing jobs.

I'm just sayin...

I Thought LIsa Landry Was Telling A Joke. Nope. Sadly, It's True.

Presidential Candidate, and current Minnesota Congresswoman, Michele Bachmann (R) has been the first to sign onto a candidates agreement to defend traditional marriage, and push for a Constitutional Amendment to make Gay marriage, or any other marriage but her Christian, one man, one woman marriage, illegal.

I continue to find it amazing that these Christians continually claim that The Constitution was, "Divinely Inspired" and from God's mouth to the ears of the founding fathers, while constantly wanting to AMEND it!  WTF?

A group called, THE FAMiLY LEADER (Yes, it's spelled THAT way on their web site), who identifies itself as a right wing, Christian organization, has posted this agreement.  And, from their press release, Bachmann has been the first to sign on.

Well, good for her.  This will give her red meat, Teabagger followers something to glom onto.

But if you read it?  You have to wonder why someone with as little knowledge of our history is considered a serious candidate for President.

In part it states, "Enduring marital fidelity between one man and one woman protects innocent children, vulnerable women, the rights of fathers, the stability of families, and the liberties of all American citizens under our republican form of government."  OK, I'll buy that.  To a degree.  What about the rights of mothers AND fathers?  What about protecting vulnerable women AND men?  And do we really believe that the liberties of ALL American citizens are at stake if we let Gay people marry?  Because I think that's a bit of a stretch.

But the interesting part comes at the end of that paragraph (which by the way, appears on page 3 of this document).  It states, and I shit you not, "Slavery had a disastrous impact on African-American families, yet sadly a child born into slavery in 1860 was more likely to be raised by his mother and father in a two-parent household than was an African-American baby born after the election of the USA's first African-American President."

You still think these, Teabaggers aren't racist?

Wow.  Really?  Before the end of Slavery, the African American kid had a BETTER chance to grow up with his parents than NOW?

If you think about it though, if it weren't for SLAVERY, we wouldn't HAVE any African American family's.  So I guess you Teabaggers could call slavery, "a curse and a blessing"?  Just guessing.

I have a friend, Face book friend, and after we went to meet her in Denver last year, REAL friend, Lisa Landry.  Lisa is a stand up comedian.  And in my humble opinion, one of THE funniest people ever.  You might have heard her if you listen to, Bob and Tom on the radio.  Or seen her on, Comedy Central.

She posted on the wall about this signing, and the ridiculous claim that African American families had a better chance to stay together under Slavery than, Obama (and I'm quoting form memory, but I'm sure I got it mostly right), "Yeah, right up until they got SOLD!"

I thought she was kidding.  I really thought my friend was just making this up to make a joke.  So, being a political blogger, who wants to check his facts, I started to look into this.

I'll be damned.  Lisa wasn't kidding.  She WAS making it a joke, but, the joke was true!  Michele Bachmann signed a paper that says African American families had a BETTER chance of having their kids grow up in a two parent family under SLAVERY than under the Obama Administration!

No one is going to deny that a lot of African American kids are born to single mothers.  As are Hispanic kids.  Society has changed, things aren't like they were in the 60's.  The 1960's.  But life is still a lot better for Blacks and everyone else than it was in the 1860's!

This, along with her thinking the Revolutionary War started in New Hampshire instead of Battle Green in Massachusetts, her saying the actor, John Wayne was from her hometown of Waterloo, Iowa when in reality it was the murdering pedophile, John Wayne Gacy who lived there for a time, and her other stupid statements just leave me wondering what kind of a dumb ass thinks this woman should be seriously considered for President of The Uninted States?

This is going to cost me some friends, but at this point, if you believe the bullshit you're hearing from the right wing?  I'm not sure I want to be around you anyway.  I mean, we usually have alcohol and there are guns in the house, and fast cars.  So if you believe Michele Bachmann should be a considered a serious candidate for President?  You're not very stable.  She is an idiot.

So, if you don't believe me, if you don't believe what I write in, The Truthstick, go ahead and look it up.  And when you do?  You will know I'm not making this shit up.  Just putting it out there.

And Lisa Landry makes her living being funny.  But she is funny because, sometimes?  The truth is funnier than fiction.

So I guess what I'm doing here is what the media, the Fourth Estate, didn't do when, "W" was President.  Call, "BULLSHIT' on bullshit.

Michele Bachmann is batshit crazy.  And dumber than a box of hammers.  And anyone who thinks she would make a good President is, too.

I know Keith Olbermann is going to do this story on Monday.  I hope he is, anyway.  But you heard it here first.  I, "scooped" him by two days!  And I'm sure the 9 people who read my blog on a regular basis will be thrilled that I beat his audience of millions!

Is This Creepy, Or Am I Just Paranoid Becasue Of What I Did For A Living?

Last weekend, my son played soccer in a tournament in Tooele County at the Desert Peaks rec center out there.  It was called the, Under the Lights tournament.  Played late at night to avoid the heat.

And that worked out pretty well.  It was much cooler when the game started at nine o'clock at night on Thursday than it was when they had to play on Saturday at four o'clock in the afternoon!

But something kind of creepy happened on Thursday night.

The Utah Youth Soccer Association rules mandate that all fans and players of a team must be on the same side of the field.  This is to keep fights from breaking out, and it's a good rule.  The first night, we played on a field with a big hill on the south side, and that was our teams side.  You can see the hill in the picture above.  And I chose to watch up at the top of it with some of our other fans, instead of at field level, just to get a better view.  Well, just after half time, our coach, Frank who is about as level headed a guy as I have ever had the pleasure to know (he doesn't get upset easily) turns around and says to some guy, probably about 30 years old, sitting on the hill down from me, "If you're a fan of the other team, you need to go to the other side of the field.  You can't sit there and keep cheering for the other team."

I'm up higher, I hadn't heard anything the guy had said, but he was sitting right behind our team, off to my right.  You're not allowed to sit on the same half of the field with your team, either.  Fans have to be on the opposite side of the half line than the team.  Another good rule.  Allows the ref's to know that on one side of the half line is only team members and coaches.

I didn't hear what this guy said to Frank, but I got up to go over there anyway, figuring there might be a problem. But the next thing Frank says is, "Well, you can't sit behind the team, you have to move to the other side of mid field."  So the guy does, but he keeps talking.

He's running his mouth so I finally walk over, very quietly and stand right behind him, uphill from him and listen in for a minute or so.  What I hear is, "I'm just here to watch some soccer!  I can sit any where I want!  It's a public park!" 

That is true.  It's a public park.  But I finally have heard enough to figure out whats going on.  I think.

It's ten thirty on a Thursday night, and you're a grown man, maybe 30 years old.  And you're sitting in a park watching teenage boys in shorts, who you don't even know, get sweaty.  Are you following me, or am I just a paranoid, ex-cop?  Thought so.

When I finally speak to him, from right behind him, and he didn't hear me coming, he about jumped out of his skin.

I said to him, "You can't disrespect our coach like that.  The rules say you have to be on the other side if you're rooting for the other team.  So you need to move."

His response?  "I played soccer for 25 years!  I'm just hear to watch the games!"

"Well", I said, "So you're telling me that a full grown man has nothing better to do at ten thirty on a Thursday night, than hang out in a Public Park and watch a bunch of teenage boys he doesn't know play soccer?  Cause that makes me a little nervous.  So I'm going to go back up to the top of the hill, and keep an eye on you."  And I went back to where I had been standing.

He left a few minutes later, making sure to go WAY out of my way when he did.  So, I'm guessing he wasn't as dedicated to, "The Beautiful Game" as he was to teenage boys.  And that's creepy.

After the game, the coaches wife said, "My first thought was the guy was a pedophile!"  I told her what I said to him to make him leave.  She got a good laugh out of that.

I usually only wear a gun when Danny's team plays in West Valley and Magna, or Ogden.  Now?  Maybe I'll make it regular piece of my game day wardrobe.  That whole experience creeped me out.

I might be wrong.  The guy might just have been a soccer fan.  After all, I used to love watching Murray Girls Softball when my daughter was playing.  So every time my son would bring a new girl, friend (notice, I didn't say, Girlfriend.  I mean a friend who happens to be a girl...) home from school, I always asked if she was a softball player.  Because if they hit it off, I would have and excuse to go watch some games!  It was a great way to spend a spring evening.  No luck.  He doesn't know any softball players.

And I don't want to go hang out at the softball field when I have no connection to any of the girls playing the game, even though it's a great game to watch.  I'm sure their parents would be keeping an eye on me, too!  As well they should be.

But in this instance?  I don't think I was wrong.

Ute Hating By Fan's Of TSDS Is SO Screwed UP

The name of the blog is Truthstick, and Cougar fans, I'm about to hit you over the head with the Truth Stick (Again.  And again, and again, and again, and again...).

First.  You are NOT, Notre Dame!  The whole country does NOT care about you.  I don't know the percentage of Catholics in this country.  I'm too lazy to look it up on the net, but I'm willing to bet, just from my life experience, that's it a LOT.  The last poll I saw showed that 1% of this country was Jewish.  1% was Mormon.  Who has more clout in the media, and politics?

Hell, that same poll showed that as much as 15 to 17% of the population of this country is agnostic or ATHEIST!  If you accept the common knowledge about the general population, 10% of the population is Gay!  There are ten times more Gays than Mormons in this country!

Notre Dame has a TV contract with a BROADCAST NETWORK to televise ALL it's football games.  Now, admittedly, the networks are not as powerful as they once were with satellite and cable TV.  But it's still a pretty good indicator of how popular you are.  Ask Conan O'Brian if he'd rather be on TBS or his old gig on NBC.

When CBS, NBC, ABC or even, FOX offers the Cougars a weekly gig on THEIR network to show your game every Saturday?  You can think you're as popular as Notre Dame.

This is why you play them six times in eight years, and four of those games are in Indiana, and TWO are in Provo.

You are not now, nor will you EVER be, Notre Dame.  Or as popular and well known as, Notre Dame.  Get over it.

You are still seen in the rest of the country as a crazy cult religion.  You're not Notre Dame.  You're, Bob Jones "University".  You're, Oral Roberts "University".  Not seen as a University at all, by most folks.

Can you name three things we have at The University of Utah that you will never have at tsds?  Two BCS Bowl Trophies and a Nobel Prize Winner.

And THAT is the reason you're not being invited to join a BCS Conference.  It has nothing to do with football.  And everything to do with academics.  Stanford and Cal won't be in a conference with the likes of YOU!  Hell, if Ann Richards hadn't been Governor of Texas when the old Southwest Conference dissolved and became the Big 12, Baylor (OK, tsds fans, follow me here, because I'm sure you DON'T know this.  Baylor is a BAPTIST "University".  REAL, fundamentalist.  Didn't allow dancing on the campus until about 1995.  Creepy religious, just like you guys) wouldn't have been included.  She had enough clout as Governor of a big state like, Texas (and we all know about their politicians. And she was a DEMOCRAT for crying out loud!) to have kept the Big 12 from happening if they didn't take her almamater.  Baylor.

Next point that needs mentioning.  Bronco Mendenhall is delusional.  I realize he HAS to be.  He works for, "The Church" so he's got to toe the line.  But you do NOT start each season in pursuit of a NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP instead of a Conference Championship.  You have not raised yourself to that level (see: You're not Notre Dame, above).

You start every season hoping that OUR conference or some other one, can't field  enough teams with six wins to fill all our contracted slots!  And you can sneak into one.  Got a contract with the, Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl in San Francisco, or the, Armed Forces Bell Helicopter Bowl in Fort Worth?  Good for you.  Now, go out and get six wins against New Mexico State and the other WAC schools you're going to play and see how many tickets you sell.  If that's as good as you can hope for (And it is. You will NEVER see a BCS Bowl, no matter how many games you win against Army, Navy and who ever else you will play every year) you are not even in our world.  We should quit playing you every year, because beating you won't help us, and losing to you would hurt our National Championship chances.  It's like playing, Weber State.

Now, lets address the, "You're going to have a losing season  for the next ten years"  and, "Enjoy being bottom feeders" smack talk you folks from tsds keep throwing out.  Where the hell does THAT come from?  We beat YOU on a regular basis, and you think you're all that and a bag of chips.  So WTF?  YOU are going to compete for a National Championship, even though we beat you, but we are going to finish last in our conference?

Tsds logic.  For sure.

Arizona and Arizona State took YEARS for either of them to get to the Rose Bowl when they joined the PAC in the 70's.  But this is NOT the 70's.

Neither of them had any real football history going for them before they left the WAC and joined the PAC.  Just a big population and lots of TVs.

We DO have a history.  We have two BCS Bowl wins.  We have eight Bowl wins in a row.  We have beaten teams from the SEC, Big East, PAC, ACC in BOWL GAMES.  We have some pretty good regular season wins in places like Michigan and Minnesota (Big 10), and Louisville (Big East). 

That being said, how do you think we're not going to be competitive in this new league?  Seriously, justify that claim that we won't win games!  The Sporting News picks us to win the PAC 12 South this year.  You think you know better than, The Sporting News? 

THEY think we will win the South, lose to Stanford in the League Championship Game and end up in the Holiday Bowl.  I could live with that.  You guys?  MIGHT end up playing a C-USA team in Fort Worth.  Good for you.  With a pat on the head.

Cougar fans, you didn't get screwed because of your football.  You got screwed because of your academics and your religious bullshit.  You spent $28 Million to defeat, Prop 8 in California, and can't figure out why the California, "Universities" don't want you?  Really?

Universities are where Liberals keep their smart people.  Republican, Conservative, Religious nut balls have, "Think Tanks".  And you're pretty much a, "Mormon Think Tank".  You're not really a University.  And no one outside of Utah and parts of Southern Idaho and Western Wyoming gives a shit about you.

Good luck as an independent.  But my money would be on you regretting this decision within a few years and crawling back to the Mountain West, who probably won't have you.  Or the WAC, who might need you to stay alive because you would at least bring the 32nd biggest TV market to their channel.

Oh, and don't schedule San Diego State for the next few years.  Rocky Long will kick your ass!

So, Cougar fans.  We are NOT going to have losing seasons.  We are going to Bowl Games you can only dream of.  We get ten times the money you're getting for TV games, and no one outside of the Mountain Time Zone gives a flying fuck at a rolling donut about your football team. 

So quit kicking our ass.  You got nothing to stand on.  Just shut up, and accept your role as no longer being the most popular football team in the state of Utah.

We are now, and always have been, out of your league.  Live with it.

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

I don't usually tell anyone but my wife, and sometimes my friend, Phil what I do with my money.  It's no one else's business.  And I don't do anything with it for public recognition, or accolades. But I'm going to have to tell you some of what I do with it, just to prove my point.  That no good deed goes unpunished.

If anyone doesn't know, the reason I could retire at age 47 from the Department of Corrections is that my father had cancer, and died at he age of 77 when he should have probably lived to be almost 100 like his mother did.  And he was a rocket scientist, and a miser.

When he died in 2006, he was still driving a 1988 Lincoln Town Car with 63K original miles on it.

About six years before that, he was too cheap to pay a mover when he relocated from Sun City, Arizona to Mesquite, Nevada and offered to pay all the expenses if Phil and I would bring my truck and haul a U-Haul trailer for him.  So we did.  When I sent him the receipts for gas, motel stays, meals, etc. it came to $496.  He said he would send me a check and include, "a little something" for Phil and I, for our efforts.  He sent me a check for $500.

I shit you not.

Any way, when he died, he left me some money.  And I had my own money in pension, so I could tell AP&P who kept dumping case on me because I was the guy who was DOING the job, to KMAG YOYO and get out.

When I spend my money, it's mostly been to travel so my wife can see the world while she can still see a little bit.  I also give money to Democrats, NPR, The University of Utah and other places.  I've been known to bail out friends and family in need.  What I don't do is give money in a public forum to try and prove what a great guy I am.  And I don't tell a lot of people, until right now (and it's still not a LOT of people who read this) what I do with it.

And I've never been offered a penny of what I've given, back.

I tell you THAT to tell you THIS.

Right after I retired, I saw a news story about a young Agent in my office who was in need of special Cancer treatment that was only available in Houston, Texas.  His friends were trying to raise money to get him there, because PEHP wouldn't pay for it.

I knew this kid.  Not well, but he had come on just before I left, and I'd been able to work in the field with him a couple of times.  He was a nice guy.  And he was a, "Brother Behind The Badge".  So I sent a check for $1000.

I have a feeling, even though I can't prove it, that no one else he worked with sent one that big.  And I didn't expect a lot of fanfare or public patting on the back.  But you would have thought that someone would have at least sent a, "Thank You" note.

A few years ago, a friend of mine was fishing for one of his friends to host his wife's surprise 50th birthday party.  No one was stepping up.  I mean, after all, hosting maybe 100 people is your back yard is not an easy task.  There is liability involved.  Let alone the, "pain in the ass" factor to be figured in.  But I have a big back yard, and I love a party, so I offered to let him do it here.

He was rushed for time the day of the party, so I picked up his in laws at the airport.  His mother in law had broken her glasses on the flight in, and after I dropped them off at my house, I went and got them fixed for her.  Even paid for it.

The ton of people here made a mess of my yard, he spilled shit that stained my garage floor while he was cooking, the kids ran wild.  But, a good time was had by all.  And I got a lovely thank you card from his in laws.

A week later, I found out that for the second time in six months, he had invited my closest friend and his wife to a dinner party at his house, but not me and my wife.  And he lied about it, to my face.  I know this made my friend he did invite REALLY uncomfortable.  How do I know this?  He TOLD me it did.

Now these are people that he ONLY knows because of me.  I found this to be very weird.  I don't need that in my life, so I cut him out of it.  Why would I hang out with someone who thinks I'm below him and his friends, and who makes my best friend uncomfortable?  

The bad part about this?  This guy is so socially inept, that he doesn't realize that if my wife and I are not good enough to hang around HIS friends, he is socially obligated to quit hanging around with MINE!  He needs to find some new playmates.  When he shows up, and everyone but him has been friends for 40 years, you would think he'd figure it out.  But no, he just keeps showing up. 

And tonight, in another, "socially" inept move, a relative has treated me like crap in a public forum.

I have a niece I love very much.  She's always remembered my birthday is Christmas Day and I have never failed to get a card, phone call, or even a birthday cake as long as I've been married to her aunt.

A few years ago, when her husband had lost his job, they came to me and asked to borrow $3000 so he could go to Oregon for a job interview.

I thought this odd since her parents, my wife's sister and brother in law, have MUCH more money than I do.  They have been retired longer.  Moved to a nice place in Southern Utah.  Travel a lot more than my wife and I do.  So I asked her about it.  Why hadn't she gone to her parents?

She said that her mom just didn't want to hear it and wouldn't listen to her.  This does NOT sound like my sister in law.  And that her dad had Alzheimer's and every time he said he'd write her a check he forgot.  I play golf with her dad once in a while, and that didn't sound right either.

I thought about it, and since I really care about her, I told her I would give her $1000, which I did.  And it wasn't a loan, she should consider it a gift.  She thanked me and I wished them the best.

A short time later at my father in law's funeral, I asked her parents about it.  Both of them, who seemed very coherent, were shocked.  They said it was the first they had heard about it.

OK.  That's odd.  But I just let it go.

They have since moved to southern Utah.  Her husband got a new job.  She has a job she seems to enjoy.  They seem to be doing very well.  I'm happy for them.

Recently, Jim bought an old Camaro to fix up.  I figured that must show that they were doing well.  He would have a great old car when he was done.  Or being a big fan of the Barrett/Jackson Auto Auction, he would make some money from his restoration project.

The other night, her husband posts a, "chain letter" email I'm sure some of you have seen.  July has five weekends, Chinese Fung Shui, post this and get money, yada, yada, yada.

They are both devout Christians.  I knew her husband was not being serious about Fung Shui.  So I was kidding, Jim about the post.  Even went on to kid him about HIS Camaro eventually costing more than MY Camaro to fix up and sell when he made some comments about my, "having money".  I thought he was kidding me right back.  Oh, no.

He was kicking my ass!  He went on for several post, in the very public forum of a Facebook wall, about how it's too bad that those of us who have money seem to enjoy kicking people who don't.

Wow.  All I could do was to write back and tell him the next time that he needs money?  I've given him enough.

I've enjoyed every minute of the being part of Deb's family for the last 27 years.  I didn't grow up around most of my family.  And from the second they met me, they made me feel a part of their family.  They are the finest people I've ever known.  I've done what I could to help the ones that needed it, and done my best as a left wing, atheist, Democrat to try not to step on their conservative, LDS toes.

And now, this guy calls me an insensitive jerk because I have a few bucks?  And I was making a joke about his chain letter?  Wow.

I expect to be ignored for my generosity by the general public.  But kicked in the teeth by, "family" who I've helped out for kidding around with you?  That's really out of line.

I think I'm going to keep my checkbook a little more close to the vest from here on out.  I've already learned to be a little more careful about who I keep as friends.  But you can't pick your family.

We Were On The Edge Of The Desert...

In the middle of nowhere, in the middle of the night, a soccer tournament is going on this week.  At the Desert Peaks Recreation Facility in Tooele County, just a stone throw from the Miller Motor Sports Park, The Utah Fire Museum and tons and tons of old nerve gas, my son and his boys are playing soccer at night to beat the heat.

I don't know about the heat, but it's beating me.  I got home last night and tonight at midnight.  And now that they have won the first two games (2-1, 4-1 and it wasn't that close) they have to play at ten o'clock in the morning!  Thanks for all the sleep between games.  And what happened to playing at night to beat the heat?

Got that covered.  If they win the next two?  The last one will start at 2300 hours on Saturday night!  My son kicks off a half an hour after Saturday Night Live!  This is so, sick and wrong.

At Thursday nights games, one of the, "other soccer moms" said, "Wow.  This place is in the middle of nowhere!"  I said, "Yes it is.  That's why we keep our nerve gas here."

But say what you will about Tooele County.  And it might very well be the most polluted place in the country with all the stuff we dump in it.  But the facilities are first class.  Rarely do our boys get to play on grass this good outside of Murray.  Actually it's better than ours.  We have acidic water down by the river.

And to all the parents joy, they have enough port a potties, parking and there is a place to get a cold drink.  The games start on time, and at least so far, unlike in Davis County, it appears that a team from outside of Tooele County might get a fare shake and be able to win this sucker.  So my hat is off to them.

Now if I can just figure out how to get some sleep this weekend.  I have to up in seven hours and on the road in eight.  And I still smell like Deep Woods Off.  The bugs out there are awful.

But out there?  They might be mini-drones being tested by the Army in an effort to get terrorists in the middle east.  So maybe I shouldn't swat them.  They might go off!