Shaving the kid.

Last night, my wife said to me, "Your son has peach fuzz on his face, and it's long enough that I can pull on it. He doesn't like that." OK, I can fix that. I asked him about it, and he said, "Yeah, I want it off. It makes me look like my upper lip is always dirty."

Not a problem. I told him after his soccer game tonight, that he should take a shower, and I would get him a razor and some shaving cream, and show him how to use it.

I'd spent the afternoon with him, buying him a new golf bag. Didn't notice. The things, dad notices (he's too tall for his old golf clubs. Maybe tall enough for his mother's old set. They don't say, "Women's Clubs" on them, just, Cougar Golf. I had women's clubs when I was a teenager and not tall enough for men's clubs. This bag sucks, need a new one) vs. what, mom notices (My son needs to shave! He looks horrible!) are worlds apart.

He's a smart kid, and I'm a Liberal parent. We have had, "The Drugs" talk. "The condom's" talk. "The, Your Father Drives You To School In An Audi And A New Camaro And The Girls You Go To School With Will Notice This, So Please Refer To The Condom Talk When Ever You Are Alone With One Of Them" talk. And I told him I'd beat his ass if I caught him and his soccer buddies taking my beer out of the basement fridge, "Talk".

But I realized tonight, that since he and I have always gotten up at different times because of, mostly MY schedule as a Cop, when he was a little boy, he never came into the bathroom in the morning and watched me shave! He's not unclear on the concept, he watches TV and has seen people shave.

But tonight, while I'm trying to show him how to do this, I had to explain that no, the shaving cream didn't need to go ALL the way up to his lower eye lid. Only PART of his face was involved in this process, unless he grew up to be, "Big Foot". And you just smooth it on. It's mostly just soap, anyway. Not a problem.

I might have committed a tactical error in not showing him how to do this on a weekend, where I might have brought him in to my bathroom, and done it WITH him, like I did with mowing the lawn, instead of just trying to show him. But you don't THINK of these things? My dad didn't show me. But I watched him numerous times.

I still have the same razor I bought when I was 15, by the way. When I told a friend that, he said, "The same blade?" No, you moron! I change the BLADE. The same razor!

Which I can still get blades for, but not the razor. My son's is an upgrade. Three blades instead of two.

Well, he got through it, no nicks, no cuts, no errors. I told him to always shave down, since that shaving up is closer stuff is BS, and just irritates your skin. And to always shave right out of the shower if possible, as you beard is softer then (Yes, I read, Playboy, and in the past read, Esquire and occasionally a copy of my boss', GQ Magazine. But it was pretty, Gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that! But I'm not. Just sayin..).

His hair is so long, that it was covered in shaving cream. Occupational hazard of a teenage soccer player I guess. Use the towel, don't get back in the shower, for crying out loud! You have to teach them everything.

I explained to him that cheap razor blades suck, and only last a few shaves. And that expensive ones, can last me a month or more a blade, so I save money buying them.

He asked me how often he should shave? I told him that eventually, it will be every morning, but if he wants to keep his lip clean at this age, he could probably get by with once a week. He's OK with that.

After all, he and I, and his mother, now understand that nothing looks worse than a guy who can't grow a mustache, trying to grow a mustache!

They grow up so fast.