Cars

A few months ago, about a year too late, I started looking for a car. I don't have a lot of debt right now, the stock market is coming back, and I actually made money last year (thank you, Charles Schwab, and, President Obama). I have to finish paying off the garage I built, and there is the ever fluctuating amount of debt on the credit cart that accrues because of, "The Blind Lady's" travel requests. But I'm doing OK. And now, I want a, "toy" car.

Twice in the last year, my best friend has purchased his, "dream car", a Porsche Boxster. The first one was destroyed in a run in with a semi truck on I80, and he's lucky to be alive. He actually got more money than it was worth from the insurance company, and has replaced it with a newer one that's even prettier.

I've toyed with the idea of a sports car, an Audi TT. A Porsche. Or maybe an old American car, like a restored, Mustang. Since I drove one of those in high school. Something that would be driven only in good weather, and never in the winter.

I have all the other cars I ever wanted. I always wanted a 4X4 Ford pickup truck, and I bought that in 1998. It's a 1995 that still looks like new, and is just perfect for the home owner who needs to haul camping stuff a few times a year, bicycles, firewood, and make the occasional, "dump run" to the, Trans Jordan Landfill. If you own a house and a yard, you need a truck. And my darling wife gave me a new stereo and satellite radio for it, so it's great for tailgating, too.

I always wanted a big, powerful, touring car. And when I retired a few years ago, I bought the Audi A6 Quattro. GPS, 245 horses, and faster than a Republican lie about health care reform. And since April of 2006 I've put 55K miles on it and gone through three sets of, really, expensive, performance tires.

My daughter has my Pontiac Bonneville (the second one of these cars I had bought. Love the Pontiac's) that I bought after I paid off my truck with all the overtime money the FBI paid me during the Winter Olympics in 2002, and it's just perfect for her to drive her mother around in comfort. Now, I want a car to goof off in.

I'm just not a sports car guy. I'm too big. And I don't want to take corners at 100 miles an hour. I learned to do that in a Ford Taurus at the driving schools you have to take every year as a Cop. And I can do that in the Audi (and it's MUCH more comfortable in the Audi than in a Taurus. Trust me). Convertible would be fun, but also kind of an, expensive pain in the ass. I don't need it.

I heard about the perfect car a year or two ago. The Pontiac G8 GXP. It's like the GTO of the 60's. Big, four door, and armed with 500 horse power, and rear wheel drive. I wanted an American Muscle Car! And this sounded like the one.

So when they decided to discontinue the Pontiac nameplate a few months ago, I started to look for one. Figuring they would be valuable at some point. Oh, and I'd paid off the Audi.

Pontiac made these cars for the US market in 2008-09 only. And they made them in Australia, not in America. But they are, "American Cars". And they made a, "shit load" of them in a 6 cyl. model. These are a dime a dozen. And quite a few with a V8, but they are more hard to find. It's the GT model. They are mostly sold in the south, as they are high horse power, and rear wheel drive.

The GXP? Not so much. This sucker had a Corvette engine. 500 bhp, and rear wheel drive. This was a rocket. Australian or not, this is an American muscle car. And, it can seat the family, comfortably.

When I told, Deb what I was looking for she just said, "Promise you won't let the kids drive it, OK?" No problem.

I've searched the Internet, and found one in North Carolina that I could have had shipped here for $1000, but it was on eBay and sold too quick. Found them in Colorado and Arizona, but they sold before I could even send an email. Found one in, Deb's hometown, Sunnyvale, California. But when I called them, the dealership owner had been driving it and it had 10K miles on it, and even at that, with the MSRP being $40K, he wouldn't take less than $46K! WTF? You want more than the NEW price for what is, essentially, a USED car? I don't think so.

I pre-approved for a car loan with my Credit Union, and they told me a about a car broker here in Murray that will find you any car you want, and get it here, for a fee of $500. They only deal in high end cars. So I went to them, asked them about this car, and gave them a check. They haven't cashed the check, but they are getting really discouraged about finding this thing. These cars are rarer than hens teeth.

So now, I'm thinking, Camero. In Murray High orange and black, with a big V8. And it's a bargain at less than $40K. I can order everything I want, help the American car industry, and still have my muscle car. The story will continue. I'm going to drive one on Friday.

I really screwed with my son the other night at dinner. I told him about the car, and laid it on thicker, and heavier as I went along: "Yeah, I'll get it in MHS orange and black, with the custom exhaust so it sounds great, and then, you can drive it to school every day in a couple of years. What do you think? I'll get a personalized plate, "MHS" to go on it." He bought it, he was looking at me like I'd just told him I'd hired, Beyonce to be his math tutor. Deb was about to die from trying not to laugh.

"OK!" he says.

"When donkey's fly." I said. He finally realized he was being had. But it was priceless.