"I won't do THAT again!" part two.

Wednesday morning, Ashley picks us up to go meet the, Markham's in St. Georges at the cruise port. This is their only day on this island, and I have been charged with arrainging a tour for them, and us of the WHOLE island. Not a problem. It's a small island.

We head up to the 1900 feet above sea level point on the island to take pictures of their ship in the port. Pretty picture. Ashley tells us he's going to take us to see where they make, "Bush rum". WTF? He says, "I think you call it, in YOUR country, "moonshine?" maybe, Mon?" Ok. Being from, West Virginia, I understand THAT reference.

We drive to the east side of the island, and into a town who's name I can't remember, but it's the home of the, Grenadian Nutmeg Growers Cooperative. And he pulls into the plant, and we get a tour. Before hurricane, Ivan a few years ago, Grenada produced 40% of the worlds nutmeg. 6M pounds a YEAR! Now? Not so much. Although they have recovered some, it's still only about 600K pounds a year. The man leading the tour gives, Jami and, Deb a BIG handfull of nutmeg nuts to take home, and something called, "mace". A spice derived from the dried shell of the nutmeg. And we should all taste it.

Now, I don't know about a SPICE called, mace, but I've been HIT by, "Mace" in my 20 year, law enforcement career, and the man leading the tour couldn't tell me if it was the same mace.

Yet, I do know, that my favorite partner in the field as a former, Cop was, "Pepper Spray" which is, chemically, Olio Resin Capsicum. Capistan. The juice from peppers like, Habanjero, and, Scotch Bonnet. Good on a taco, bad in your eyes! Trust me.

But hey, what the hell, I'm good to try anything once. The tour guide gives the women some of the mace, which is basically the dried shell of the nutmeg. And, Jami gives me a piece, which is about the size of the top of a roofing nail. Not TOO big.

HOLLY SHIT, THIS SUCKS! My mouth is on fire, my nose is running, my eyes are watering! This is the most, worst, experience, I have ever had! WTF would you use this to SPICE up! Birthday Cakes in HELL! I need water, and I need it NOW!

I make, Ashley stop at the next store we see, run in and buy as much water as I can carry, and throw the young lady at the counter a $20us and say, "Just don't hurt me, OK?"

To her credit, she carefully calculates the conversion rate between ECD, and US and gives me the right change. While I run out to the van. Good thing they drive on the left, or I might have run out into the street!

Next, Ashley is taking us to the, "Bush Rum" factory. I say, "factory", because it's not really a, "Distillary" This is the difference between, "Bush Rum/Moonshine" and, rum/bourbon. Trust me.

When, Moonshiner's in, West Virginia, or anywhere else make a product, they delute it it with water so it doesn't make you go blind when you drink it. When, Maker's Mark does it in, Kentucky, they call it, "A bourbon eligible spirit", meaning in four years in a barrell, it COULD become bourbon. When they make rum in the rest of the Caribbean, they, "age" it in old barrels before it turns brown, and it takes about six years.

Hear at the, Rivers Rum Company? Not so much. The tour lasted almost longer than it takes them to make rum!

They take the sugar cane, strip it with a water wheel, burn it, boil it, put the distillate it in an underground, concrete vat, use a primitive, "weight" measure, to measure the alcohol content when it forments, and 8 days later? You have, and I use the term losely, RUM!

They, "dreadge" it up, pour it through cheese cloth, into the yellow, Eglloo Coolers you have drinken out of if you ever work on a road crew (I shit you, not!) and fill their bottles from the coolers.

151 (they guess), 80 proof (they guess, and cut with water) and a, "lovely" rum punch. With some kind of fruit, and it still tastes like ass. This place sucked SO much! And they served their samples in, "Sacrement Cups". Better drink quick. This shit will melt through.

I, of course, sampled all of them. And I would guess I could get a Zippo lighter to work on ANY of their products. And the wood floors could be stripped on ANY of them. Even with the fruit. And if you spent all day drinking them? You would be as blind as my, WIFE! If you were lucky.

Chocolate factory stinks, as it forments. But it was interesting. And the end product was, AWESOME! Then had to get, Phil and Jami back to the boat. Saw the airport we, "invaded" in 1983. I'll attach pictures, I hope.

We went to the grocery store across the stree from our resort that afternoon, since we dropped, Phil and Jami off at the cruise port that day.

Deb noticed limes. BIG ASSED, limes. They were YELLOW! She said they were just like at home when she was a kid. they had a lime tree in her front yard. Yes, I SAW it after we were married.

So I bought one (Yes, I brought the big assed pocket knife in my check in luggage. I always do) and I brought it back to the room at, Coyaba and cut it up. We drank rum, and loved the rum with it. We were just some, "Buggary" short of being the, British Navy"! After all, they, "run" on, "limes, rum, and buggaery".

It's liturature. Live with it.